Bittersweet Freedom:

Ahsoka knew her farce of a trial would haunt her nightmares for years to come (assuming she lived out the week). Every word spoken was already ingrained in her memory. And it wasn't over yet.

It had started with Palpatine, of course. And he'd made her skin crawl, as usual. I still don't know how Anakin can stand to be in his presence so often; he's such a creepy old Human.

"Ahsoka Tano." He'd said her name like he was looking at scum on the bottom of his shoe. The Chancellor had never been particularly nice to her, but it was so much worse now that he had a valid excuse to treat her like a suspicious lifeform from the lowest levels of Coruscant. "You have been charged with sedition against the Jedi Order and the Republic itself. This court will decide your fate. Prosecution, you may begin your arguments."

Tarkin, that backstabbing sleemo, was representing the Prosecution. She'd wanted to bare her fangs at him when she'd seen him emerge opposite Padmè. How quickly he managed to forget how often Anakin or I had saved his life. "Former Padawan Tano. I shall prove that you were the mastermind behind the attack on the Jedi Temple. And that once your accomplices carried out your orders, you eliminated them one by one. When you are found guilty, I ask the court that the full extent of the law be brought down upon you. Including penalty of death."

Ahsoka had looked at Padmè in shock at that. No one had said execution was a possibility. I suppose they had been trying to save me some anxiety, but is finding out this way any better?

Anakin's secret mate had done her absolute best to defend Ahsoka. The woman really is a saint. No wonder Anakin loves her so much; she deserves all the love the galaxy has to offer.

She had talked for as long as she could and presented what little evidence they had regarding her innocence, buying time for Anakin to find the real culprit, but her closing point had been particularly poignant. During her speech, Ahsoka had refused to look at the Council in their chairs high above her, including Masters Kenobi and Koon. Her father figure Masters had both been trying to send her comfort through the Force, but Ahsoka had blocked them out, and was still blocking them out, still feeling horribly betrayed by the Council's decision to expel her from the Order and allow her to be tried as a Republic citizen. She had heard some of the Council shuffle a little in shame at what was transpiring and felt their unease in the Force, which she made a note to herself to thank Padmè profusely for later. At least I'll go out making some of them feel guilty.

"Look at the facts," Padmè had pleaded. "Letta Turmond called Ahsoka to her cell to reveal the name of the true mastermind of the bombing of the Jedi Temple. Letta told Ahsoka she was afraid. She told her the mastermind was a Jedi. And before she could reveal the Jedi's name, Letta Turmond was strangled to death by way of the Force. Why would Ahsoka kill Letta with a method that would so obviously tie the murder to her? A Jedi may be responsible for the murder, but that Jedi is not Ahsoka Tano. Members of the court; you are prosecuting the wrong Jedi."

If only most of the people here had actually believed those words.

That brought Ahsoka to the moment she was actually in.

Silence had reigned over the tribunal chamber for a solid half minute - broken only by breathing, a few people fidgeting as they looked at their neighbours, and one unfortunately loud and ill-timed sneeze - during which tine her mind had flashed back through the proceedings so far, and then Tarkin was applauding Padme mockingly, each clap of the hands ringing through her montrals as it echoed around the vast, box-like chamber.

I wish a bucket of the stinkiest possible bantha fodder would magically fall on his head. He so deserves it.

"Well said, Senator Amidala. However, if she is innocent, then why was she seen conspiring with the main Separatist terrorist, Asajj Ventress?"

Even though she wasn't supposed to speak unless addressed, Ahsoka just couldn't stay quiet any longer as all of her frustration and accumulated exhaustion ran away with her mouth and Jedi discipline. "Ventress set me up! My Master will prove that." I hope. Please hurry, Master.

Tarkin looked at her with a mockingly raised brow. "And where IS your Master?"

"He's trying to find the real murderer!" Ahsoka cried, only half a suppressed growl away from stomping her foot like youngling.

The sharp faced Human sneered at her. "Then maybe he should be looking at you."

No. No, no, no. Ahsoka's world fell out from under feet as she felt the majority of the people in the room agree with that statement. She glanced at Padmè helplessly. The Senator looked back at her with sorrow and apology, the thought, 'I'm so sorry. I really did my best,' easy to read in her eyes.

Feeling utterly defeated, the disgraced girl could barely stand as days of stress worse than even the time she'd been hunted for sport caught up with her. She shrank into herself as much as she could, wishing her hands weren't bound before her so she could hug the sudden chill out of her body with her arms, and kept head bowed towards the floor as the Chancellor made the closing statement. She tried not to hear him, but his biting words made their way into her montrals anyway to reverberate along with the lingering (imaginary) echoes of Admiral Tarkin's mocking applause.

"I'm sure many of you look at this former Jedi and think, surely she cannot be this murderer or saboteur that they speak of. And yet, think of all the times we have been fooled by the Separatists and how they have infiltrated the Republic and ask yourself; is this another Separatist scheme? Another way to rip the Jedi, and subsequently all of us, apart?" Palpatine paused for dramatic effect and then finished with, "The decision is yours, fellow members of the Senate. Please vote now."

Ahsoka counted the seconds while the votes were cast on datapads.

It was only fifty seconds before she heard the voice of the lead Senator on the jury announce loudly, "The members of the court have reached a decision." Fifty measly seconds. This was just as bad as the trial before the Jedi council. And that was a complete mockery of the word 'trial'. Did they even bother to think?

Palpatine's glee was nearly palpable as he looked down on her and said her name, once again giving the impression it was something dirty in his mouth. "By an overwhelming count of..."

Suddenly, a door to the chamber opened behind her, and Anakin's voice rang through the room. "Chancellor!"

Ahsoka startled, because she hadn't felt him coming, which was pathetic, considering he was almost literally glowing with pissed off triumph in the Force and their bond was usually much better at alerting her than that. But she was admittedly shutting herself off from everyone so it hurt less, which meant that Anakin had been able to sneak up on her.

Now she spun around to look at her Master with desperate hope in her eyes. Anakin glanced at her, sending a tidal wave of reassurance at her through their bond. Oh, thank Force. He's found something to save me. The band that had been squeezing around her chest loosened and Ahsoka felt like she could breathe again.

Chancellor Palpatine wasn't happy, to put it bluntly, to lose his moment to gloat over Ahsoka's disgrace. He threw a barely disguised glare at Anakin. "I hope you have a reason for bursting into our proceedings, Master Skywalker."

Anakin levelled Palpatine with a determined stare of righteous victory. "I'm here with evidence and a confession from the person responsible for all the crimes Ahsoka's been accused of."

The Temple Guards following Anakin moved to reveal the culprit and Ahsoka gasped quietly. No! It can't be! She met the eyes of her friend and saw only a modicum of remorse in them before the other girl skated her gaze away.

It was all the confession that Ahsoka needed to feel like someone had just thrown a bucket of ice water on her when she wasn't looking.

Not even the Council's cold treatment had left her feeling so betrayed.

Force. How could she? How could she have set ME up in such a cruel fashion? I thought we were friends. Has it all been a lie?

"Barriss Offee, member of the Jedi order, and traitor." Anakin's voice was colder than the ice of Ilum as he introduced the Mirialan Padawan.

Ahsoka still couldn't quite believe it. Not that she thought Anakin would deliberately bring the wrong person, but it was so much easier to think of Ventress as the evil one as opposed to someone she'd considered to be one of her closest friends. Her throat was tight with emotion when she asked in a strangled voice, "Barriss, is that true?"

Barriss wouldn't meet her gaze.

If she wasn't under observation, Ahsoka might have cried right then.

Anakin, furious on her behalf when she couldn't hide her pain from him, gave Barriss his patented 'talk or die' tone as he growled out, "Tell them the truth!"

Barriss, not stupid by any means, fully believed the killing rage that was in Anakin's eyes and practically radiated from every tense muscle in his body. She glanced at him for only a second before she stepped forward proudly. "I did it." Her voice rang loud and clear as she continued to speak over the mass inhale that almost everyone took in surprise and she bravely met the eyes of everyone in the room - Council members included. "Because I've come to realize, what many people in the Republic have come to realize, is that the Jedi are the one's responsible for this war. That we've so lost our way, that we have become the villains in this conflict. That WE are the ones that should be put on trial. All of us! And my attack on the Temple was an attack on what the Jedi have become; an army fighting for the Dark side, fallen from the Light that we once held so dear. This Republic is falling! It's only a matter of time."

The tribunal chamber was dead silent for a few heartbeats before Palpatine's disgusted voice called out, "Take her away."

Everyone watched in continued stunned silence as the proud young woman was escorted out by the Temple Guards. Ahsoka could practically feel Obi-Wan and maybe half of the other present Council members stew over Barriss' words. Anakin didn't look like he'd registered any of it yet, but when he calmed down, it would come back, and Ahsoka had a feeling he would think long and hard on what Barriss had said. She knew she already was.

Because, despite the fact that Barriss had gone about it the wrong way, she was right about one thing:

The Jedi were anything but Peacekeepers now.

The world she knew now was nothing like what she'd been taught as a youngling. When had the Jedi turned into fighters? And not just within the war, but within themselves? What is the Order coming to when one of the gentlest Jedi feels the need to act out in such a malicious way to make her point?

The Chancellor focused his attention on Ahsoka after the Temple Guards had led Barriss away. "Ahsoka Tano." (Even now, after being cleared, he still said her name with disdain. Why? Why has he always disliked me so much?) "In light of the confession of Padawan Barriss Offee, you are free to go."

As her platform moved back towards where Anakin stood, Ahsoka really didn't know what to think now. She was cleared of the charges, but at the cost of losing a friend. It just didn't feel like the victory it should have beenl.

Ahsoka met her Master's relieved blue eyes as she stepped onto the platform beside him. They said nothing out loud, not wanting to talk in front of the Senators that were still milling around and mumbling to each other up in their shallow balconies, but she thanked him through the bond and he sent back his relief that he'd made it in time.

As soon as one of the two remaining Coruscant Guard removed her binders, they walked out of the tribunal chamber shoulder to shoulder, a united force against anything that tried to separate them, but Ahsoka wasn't sure how long that was going to last. She'd still been kicked out of the Order, and frankly, she wasn't entirely convinced that she wanted back in.

Once out in the hallway and away from judging eyes, Ahsoka flung herself at Anakin, relishing the feel of his strong arms holding her close as he caught her. "Thank you, Master," she said into his tunic. "They were just about to declare me guilty and sentence me to execution."

Anakin sucked in a breath at hearing that and hugged her tighter in apology as he rested his cheek lightly against her montral. "I'm so sorry, Snips. I was so worried I wouldn't be in time. I broke about a hundred traffic laws for you."

Ahsoka pulled back and grinned at him wearily. "That's nothing new. You break traffic laws anytime you feel like it."

Anakin shrugged unapologetically, a smirk playing with his mouth. "Yes, well. This time was a lot more than normal. I even had a pack of droid cops following me with their sirens blaring."

Ahsoka laughed, happy to lose herself in the simple banter and not think too much about what was yet to come.

Padmè came rushing around the corner, relief on her face. "Ahsoka! I'm so glad that worked out." She stopped beside her young friend and gave her a quick hug, regardless of how filthy Ahsoka's clothes were.

"Thank you, Padmè. Thank you for trying. I know you did everything you could to clear me."

Padmè smiled sadly at the girl. "If it wasn't for Anakin..." She glanced up at her husband, sending him her gratitude and love with her eyes.

Anakin blushed slightly, glancing at the floor as he mumbled, "I just did what I had to. Ventress was actually helpful, believe it or not. Barriss stole her lightsabres and pretended to be her in the warehouse. Her biggest mistake was keeping them." He pulled the two curved lightsabres out from the back of his belt and looked at them ruefully before putting them back. "Now I have to give them back to her, and that grates something awful."

He shrugged with a crooked grin on his lips at Ahsoka as she giggled out, "Poor Master."

"But she did help you, and actually seems to kind of like you now, weirdly enough. I can't, in good conscious, keep them."

"No, you can't," Obi-Wan's voice floated down the hallway as he approached from around the same corner Padmè had emerged from. "As much as I would like to personally space those wretched things, she did help our little Padawan and we owe her them back at the very least."

Anakin and Ahsoka rolled their eyes at each other and smirked at Obi-Wan's dry and disgusted tone.

He came to a stop on the other side of Ahsoka and touched her shoulder for a moment in remorse. "I am sorry, Ahsoka, that I couldn't do more to help you. Thank the Force our Anakin is so good at disobeying orders."

Ahsoka smiled sadly at her grandmaster, feeling guilty for blocking him out earlier. "I understand, Master. I'm sure you did what you could."

"Did you really?" Anakin mumbled under his breath, but everyone heard him anyway.

Padmè shot him a chiding look that he ignored.

Ahsoka shook her head at him. "Master…"

"Not now, Snips."

She huffed at him.

Obi-Wan sighed softly at the accusation in Anakin's eyes. We're going to have to work this out later. Alone. But for now... "The Council wants to see you, Ahsoka, in the Temple. We're to go there immediately."

"Yes, Master," Ahsoka said obediently, hiding a sigh at her dashed hopes of going to her quarters and taking a long shower and getting a change of clothes. It had been days since she'd seen a shower and the places she'd been since then... Well, let's just say she had a distinct aroma wafting from her that was not her own.

"You too, Anakin," Obi-Wan said over his shoulder as he turned towards the exit of the building.

Anakin rolled his eyes at his Master's back. "As if I'd let them at you without me being there," he muttered to Ahsoka, making her snort in amusement. He sighed and strode after Obi-Wan.

Ahsoka was about to do the same, but Padmè's hand on her arm stopped her. She raised a brow marking in inquiry.

The older female glanced furtively at the men who'd stopped to see what the holdup was and then whispered, "Lux told me to tell you that he's on his way. If he doesn't find you, you can come see him at my apartment."

Ahsoka beamed at Padmè, her chest filling with joy to hear that Lux was coming for her. "Thank you. I'll come see you later, regardless."

Padmè smiled happily and then waved her off.

Ahsoka had to suppress the new bounce in her step as she caught up to Anakin and Obi-Wan. "She was just inviting me to her apartment later for a small celebration when I get the chance," she explained before they could ask questions.

As they walked together to Anakin's speeder, Ahsoka thought about the Human boy who had worked his way into her affections within an hour or so of meeting him.

It wasn't like her friendship with him was a big secret or anything, so there was no real need for subterfuge in seeing him, but Ahsoka felt different now then she had a few days ago. Almost like she honestly couldn't care less if she kept to the Jedi code anymore or not because she felt betrayed and essentially spat on by the Council. Which meant she had no idea what she'd do when she saw Lux.

Leap on him is a high possibility, she thought with an inward grin.

It's probably best to keep his impending visit to myself for now until I hear what the Council has to say.

After escaping from prison, she'd been so tempted to jump on a ship and go to Onderon and hide from her problems in Lux's home, knowing he'd welcome her in an instant, but Ahsoka had known if she'd done that, she'd never be able to live with herself.

She'd also had to fight with herself over whether or not to comm him about what was happening, but she knew he'd come galloping to her rescue and would talk her into going into hiding, and again, she just couldn't do that.

So she'd left poor Lux in the dark. He must have found out on his own anyway. And he's still coming galloping to the rescue.

Ahsoka sighed internally over how sweet that was. She'd been tempted, oh so tempted, in the past to give in to her feelings for Lux and tell him how she felt about him, but her ingrained Jedi teachings had always held her back. She'd wished she could be like Anakin and just throw the no attachment rule to the wind and have a secret relationship with Lux the same way Anakin did with Padmè, but she was afraid she wouldn't be able to hide it like he did.

Now... Well, now she was going to wait and see how the next half hour played out. It might not even be necessary for her to do anything secretive. But she did have one resolve firmly set in her mind; the minute she saw Lux in a private setting, she was telling him how she felt about him. If she rejoined the Order, then she'd do what Anakin did and keep it a secret. If she didn't... then the Order could go hang itself and she was going to have her happily ever after with Lux.

She was ninety-nine percent sure that Lux would be totally on board with that. Because, except for the brief period after she'd told him they could never be more than friends and he'd sort of pursued Steela Gerrera as a way to cover his hurt, he'd never shown any interest in any other girls. She also had a fairly good grasp of his feelings because he wasn't very good at hiding them, and she knew he loved her.

Right now, that thought was enough to give her the courage to continue onwards and face the Council that had discarded her word and thrown her out like trash.

With Anakin driving, the trip to the Temple was over quickly and the next thing she knew, Ahsoka was standing in the big High Council chamber, surrounded by the wisest and best the Jedi Order had that weren't currently away fighting in the war.

She didn't feel safe at all and she wondered when the people she'd looked up to the most had become like strangers to her.

Yoda was the first one to break the uncomfortable silence. "Brought you here to rectify a wrong, we have. Acted hastily, we did, and sorry we are."

This is a good start. Maybe this won't be so bad. Ahsoka smiled at the old Master that she'd always adored. Yoda had been one of her teachers for as long as she could remember and would always occupy a soft spot in her heart.

Master Plo spoke next, sending his sincerest regrets over their light bond and she couldn't help but smile at him as well. "You have our most humble apologies, little Soka, the Council was wrong to accuse you."

Like Anakin and Obi-Wan, Master Plo was someone she was pretty sure she could forgive almost anything, and she told him that with her eyes and through the Force. She could feel the relief he sent back and the hidden smile he wore behind his mask.

Master Tiin continued. "You have shown such great strength and resilience in your struggle to prove your innocence." Ahsoka gave him a slight smile as well, thanking him for recognizing her determination.

Maybe I CAN rejoin the Order. So far, everyone seems very sincere in their remorse.

"This is the true sign of a Jedi Knight," Master Ki-Adi-Mundi added.

Ahsoka blinked. Wow. That actually makes me feel a little bit better yet. I've worked my whole life to become a Knight; should I really throw that away? Especially if they're offering to let me take my trials early. That would be pretty sweet.

But then Master Windu opened his mouth and ruined it all, radiating a sense of self-indulgent righteousness. "This was actually your Great Trial. Now we see that."

What?! Ahsoka crossed her arms over her chest and stared at Windu like he'd lost his mind.

That's a load of poodoo. That was no Knighting Trial. That was you being an arsehole and not believing me. I don't want to be handed my Knighthood as a bribe because you all made a mistake and are now regretting it. If Windu can't man up enough to apologize properly like everyone else, he can take his bantha poodoo and shove it where the sun doesn't shine.

I don't think I want to be part of an Order that condones mass slavery, fights wars ruthlessly, are blind to their own faults, and gives into the pressure of the Republic government at the drop of a hat anyway.

The supposed Jedi Master continued, oblivious to her swiftly changing mood. "We understand that the Force works in mysterious ways. And because of this Trial you have become a greater Jedi then you would have otherwise."

Ahsoka looked from one face to the next and saw that this wasn't a surprise to them. They'd actually talked about this and thought they could buy her forgiveness with a quick Knighting that would mean absolutely nothing to her. Kriff that.

"Back into the order, you may come."

Master Yoda says that as if I voluntarily left it!

Between what Barriss had said earlier, Windu's stupid quick fix, and Yoda's words now, she'd reached the end of her rope. They should be begging me to come back, not giving me this condescending excuse of a ceremony. Ahsoka was not pleased, not at all.

She glanced at Obi-Wan, since he was with them in the speeder and couldn't have known what the rest of the Council had been talking about. He seemed shocked and dismayed and she saw the dawning realization in his eyes that the Council had just blown it big time. They didn't know her at all if they thought she wouldn't want to earn her Knight status the same way everyone else did; the hard way.

Ahsoka looked at Anakin next, and she knew that he knew that the Council had just made a very big mistake as well, but he tried to fix it. Oh, how he tried to fix it. He was literally begging her through their bond to forgive the Council Idiots as he said out loud, "They're asking you back, Ahsoka. I'M asking you back," and held out the Silka beads that had been torn painfully off her head yesterday.

Ahsoka stared at those beads for endless moments, thinking about what they represented; her bond with Anakin, all her hard work, her status as a Jedi, and then she gently closed his hand over the beads and looked him in the eyes with all the regret in her soul for him to see, knowing exactly how much what she was about to say was going to hurt him. "I'm sorry, Master, but I'm not coming back."

"This isn't the place for me. Like Barriss said, the Jedi have lost their way and I refuse to let them drag me with them down the Dark stream to hell."

"Ahsoka... Please."

Despite the nearly crippling pain tearing across their bond and the look of absolute misery and betrayal in his eyes, Ahsoka turned and left Anakin and the Council behind before she burst into tears in front of them. It was all she could do to walk calmly away from them and not let her tumultuous emotions bleed into the Force for everyone to feel.

Her only thought was, Away. Must get away.

Anakin held back a whimper as the doors closed behind Ahsoka and his fist clenched around her beads. He shot a furious glare at Windu for ruining everything and at Obi-Wan for letting this happen and then ran after her.

Obi-Wan's heart was breaking for both of his Padawans and he desperately wanted to follow them and make everything all better.

He almost did, but Plo held him back with a sad shake of his head and he realized the older Jedi Master was right: Anakin and Ahsoka need a few moments to themselves first. I'll talk to them later and beg on my knees if I have to to get them to forgive me for not being able to prevent any of their pain.

For the third time in the last half year, Obi-Wan almost hated the Jedi Council that he was a part of.

Something desperately needs to change with the Council if I'm going to stay on it. I can't keep letting my family down like this.

He felt like he was on the verge of losing his bond with Anakin and that would hurt every bit as much as losing Satine and Qui-Gon had.

Obi-Wan wasn't sure he could survive a third devastating loss.