Nesta

That kiss. Gods. Nesta had never felt something like it. So vulnerable and passionate that it threatened to wipe her off of her feet.

But those words, those thoughts that almost slipped from his mouth. That declaration that Rhys interrupted. It scared her. It terrified her. And Nesta was glad, so glad, that the words had stayed away.

She knew it didn't change anything. That those things were going to be felt even if they weren't said. But to have them out in the air, swarming around her like a rain cloud, she couldn't deal with that. Not yet. Soon. Soon she knew.

The feelings knocked her off her feet, stole the breath from her lungs. And Nesta had always felt too deeply, too hotly, too wildly. But this. This was different. This was more. And it scared her. It scared her so much that her stomach was a twist of nerves and love and fear.

But she would not do it again. Nesta would not let that fear dictate her happiness. Not again, not with Cassian. She just let it soak into her soul, all of it, all of the hurt and joy and everything that grew within them in this small space.

They were intertwined, their bodies and their souls, not knowing where one ended and the other began. And Nesta wondered why she had denied it for so long, this connection, this live wire between them that had been there even when she was human. This ache within her soul to give him everything that she could. All of her, all of the good and the bad and ugly.

Nesta trusted him with it, this male. All of her. Something she had thought she would never be able to do. They defied all odds. He defied all odds. And Nesta knew she was lucky to be here, with him. With his arms around her and his lips in his hair. And how had she taken him for granted for so long? How was she fortunate enough to have him fight so hard, for her, for them?

It felt strange, so strange to reach into herself and find that thread that linked them. That bond. It felt stronger, it felt truer, like their physical proximity made it thicker and more durable.

Nesta followed the path that led to Cassian, that led to the deepest depths of his kind soul. And as she got closer and closer she felt warmth, warmth and love and a fierce protectiveness. And the fire in her own soul, it sang for his.

He was hot and brazen, the kindling to her fire. He was her match, her equal. This strong, incredible Commander. He saw that in her, and loved it, nurtured it. This part of her that she had always thought was her worst quality, he saw it and liked it.

Nesta had always thought she would have to shrink herself down to fit in with someone else. But Cassian saw the power in her and didn't balk.

So Nesta snuggled deeper into his embrace and let it all wash over her. All of it.

Cassian

Rhys sat with his back to Cassian, working diligently on whatever paperwork was sitting on his desk. Cassian knew that he was aware of his presence, so he just folded his arms over his broad chest and leaned against the door. Either Rhys was going to speak up and give him shit or just pretend like nothing happened.

Cassian would find out in 3… 2…

"So that kiss, huh?"

"Prick."

Rhys laughed, "I know, I know."

Cassian didn't respond, just remained where he was in the doorway. Rhys' claws brushed against his mind but Cassian left his walls up.

"I'm not letting you in, prick."

"Okay, geez!" Rhys drawled, spinning his chair around to face Cassian with his hands held up in surrender. "I wasn't going to dig. Swear."

"What did you want to tell me earlier?" Cassian sighed, his nerves still on edge. His entire body was still buzzing with excitement.

"Forget that! You and Nesta have been pretty wrapped up in each other lately."

"And?"

"Cauldron, Cassian. Don't be so pissy. I'm just saying that it's awesome." Rhys huffed, narrowing his eyes at Cassian.

Cassian felt bad. He was being irritable, he knew that. And if anyone understood the excitement, fear and dread that was coursing through his body, it would be Rhys. He had lived this story, had found his mate against all odds. He had given her time to find him, to love him, if she so wished. He knew the fear of rejection, the absolute devastation of it all. Of feeling unlovable and damaged and just not enough for anyone, not even your mate. Not even the one who was made for you.

"It's scary." Cassian grumbled, pushing his way into the room to flop down on the empty chair across from where Rhys sat.

"Incredibly so."

"But exciting."

"Mmmhm."

Cassian huffed out a loud breath, trying to center himself in this moment right now. The peace, the hope, the desperation.

Rhys just clicked his tongue. "The bond is quite something, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Even before accepting it."

"Yeah." Cassian breathed. The acceptance of the bond. Something he wasn't really letting himself think about. Nesta had seemed open to it, aware of it. Using it to send thoughts and feelings and to just feel connected. But the mating ritual, the barbaric nature of it and the severity of how linked they would be, would she be ready? Would she be willing? To give herself to him, forever? To trust that this was worth it.

And Cassian didn't know if he was worth it. He had never really felt worth anything. He would sacrifice himself again and again for the people and the places he loved, because he knew deep down that it all meant more than he did. It was all worth more than him. And he would fight for Nesta, because she was everything and this was everything. And even thought Cassian didn't deserve anything he wanted it all.

Mor had called him a fool for chasing after her, for putting up with all of it. But Cassian knew she was more than he deserved. Maybe it was payment for all he had done wrong, or maybe it was a test. The universe telling him to work harder, to be better and maybe, just maybe, there would be some brightness in his future.

She wasn't a prize or a conquest. She was Nesta. Vulnerable, hard-edged, angry, loving Nesta, who saw everything as a fight. And maybe it was, but it didn't matter. Because Cassian was a fighter. A born fighter.

"I want you to take some time off from your duties." Rhys drawled, his liquid voice interrupting Cassian's thoughts.

"What?" Cassian burst, the suggestion taking him so off guard.

"You need to take a break from some of your responsibilities. Enjoy this time with her." Rhys responded, holding his hand up to halt Cassian's rebuttal. "Look how happy both of you are and how much has changed in such a short period of time."

"But-"

"I know it's scary to think about the future and to wish for things. Trust me, Cassian, I know. But if you're looking for a future with your mate then you need to train her and train her well. Eventually teach her how to fly and fight and lead. You need to build a connection of trust and safety and that isn't going to happen if you're going off to different camps for days on end."

"I haven't been-"

"Because I've already been delegating some of your responsibilities!" Rhys barked.

He was his High Lord, his brother, his goddamned best friend, and Cassian knew he had to respect him, had to respect that. But this male was pissing him off.

"How dare you-"

"Piss off with the attitude, Cassian." Rhys interrupted, again, narrowing his eyes angrily. "Don't you dare act like I'm doing this for any other reason than to help you. You know Feyre and I will do anything, anything, for you. So let us do this, for both of you. For your future."

Cassian didn't know what to do or what to say. He knew Rhys was right, he knew Nesta wanted to improve, to get stronger and faster and to fly. Especially after how she had come storming into the garden earlier, livid that they weren't training today.

"No one has been living in the town house since we built this estate."

"We have our own places."

"I know." Rhys smirked, "I'm just offering."