Nesta

The fury seemed to roll off of him in waves, crashing against her fiery soul and she swore she could have bathed in it, could spend her whole day riling him up like this. It made Nesta feel alive to fight with Cassian, to throw jabs back and forth as his insufferable smirk grew and grew. They had always been this way, pushing each other further and further until neither of them could tell hate from love and love from hate.

Nesta couldn't have imagined it any other way, love was too pure for the likes of her. Love had always been too good for her so she had spent her life lacing it with hate, holding it back and hiding it in insults and stone-faced stares that made people quiver in fear. Hate coursed through her so freely that it seeped into every word that left her mouth, every smile that graced her face.

Nesta had never met an opponent quite like Cassian and could hardly remember how she got on in her life without him. He had always pushed back at her, parried her attacks in a way that no one had before, never afraid of her or her harsh words.

She didn't remember what had started them off today but words quickly started to fly as they circled each other on the empty rooftop training ring at the House of wind. The set of his jaw and look in his eyes when she had found him up here told her he was rearing for a fight and she loved to indulge him. The sun was beating down on their faces, leaving the curly wisps of hair stuck to her neck with sweat.

"You scoff at my wings and look down at me because you can't handle how powerful I really am, how strong being an Illyrian makes me." Cassian huffed, his eyes narrowing at her as his wings flared. The light caught them from behind and it threatened to take her breath away, how beautiful they were when the sun made them shine red and gold. "You call me a bastard to make me feel small, well it doesn't, Nesta. It makes you seem small."

Her eyes narrowed back at him, her gut rolling the way it always did when she went for the low blows that she knew would hurt him. But she would shut out that feeling, push away the thoughts that clawed at her to reach for him whenever he would get that hurt look in his eyes. She didn't care for him, she couldn't care for him. No, not in the way that someone like him deserved to be cared about. He was an insufferable prick and Nesta was sure to let him know but she couldn't help but see them as the walls they were. They were a funhouse mirror reflection of her own cold, hard walls. She hid behind fierce words and hard stares and he hid behind snide comments and booming laughter. Still she bit out the words at him as if she couldn't stop them.

"Life gave you huge bat wings to match your insufferably huge ego, you prick! Maybe they should start clipping the wings of bastards so we wouldn't have to deal with your lot!"

"Don't talk like you know anything about what it means for someone to lose their wings, to have their freedom stolen like that."

Cassian prowled forward, a low growl escaping his lips. Nesta stuck her chin up, not backing down even though she knew she had gone too far. She knew it was horrible of her to even suggest that they should have clipped his wings and she fought to hide the shame that flooded through her. But she was horrible and she knew it and everyone else knew it, so she stuck to her horrible words and refused to falter.

"You couldn't handle it." He barked, wings snapping back out. "You're weak and you could only ever dream of flying and it drives you insane. That's why you insult me at every turn, isn't it?"

Nesta struggled to reply, she did love flying. She loved the feel of the wind in her hair, the freeness of it. The press of his body against hers, warm and solid and safe. There was no way in hell she was going to tell him that so she bit her tongue and threw him a vulgar gesture.

He laughed darkly and smirked at her, crossing his arms in front of him. A raised eyebrow goading her, showing her he knew she had run out of empty insults. And so the flame in her stomach lit again.

Nesta narrowed her eyes at him, he thought she was weak, a fool. And maybe she was. Maybe she was a fool to push too far on the one person that made her feel alive in this immortal body. So she jumped into the deep chasm of her empty soul, searching for the power that the cauldron had left inside her. She used every ounce of self hatred and anger that bubbled up in her gut and imagined what it would be like to fly, to have strong wings push out of her back and beat in the air. Nesta felt herself falling and falling and grasping out for some sort of purchase to grab onto to stop the dizzying feeling but she was rooted in spot, her limbs frozen in place as her mind tumbled through the chasm of her power. A scream ripped through her mind but never left her mouth as the falling stopped and wind caught the wings that sprouted out of her back. Nesta sucked a lung full of air as the magic pushed out through her back and wide Illyrian wings flared out behind her. A lifetime squeezed into a single second as the agony ripped through her body and she balled her hands into a fist and pushed down the fire that had set her entire body ablaze.

Cassian's eyes bugged out of his head as he gaped at Nesta, eyes scanning her wings as his own flared in response. She lifted her chin again and tried to hide the panic in her eyes, swallowing the bile that had risen up in her throat. The wind rippled on the wings behind her and she gritted her teeth to keep herself from screaming. The pain threatened to overtake her as she pasted a fake smile on her face, she couldn't even revel in the shock on Cassian's face. She had delved into her power and torn her body apart just for spite, just to make Cassian mad. And she knew, right away, she was going to regret it.