I cried as I wrote this. Natasha Romanoff deserved better. Enough said.

Whole fic is in Natasha's perspective. It is sort of a fix it fanfic.

It's okay. Let me go. It's okay…

Those were the lasts words before the fall. Should she had chance, they wouldn't be nor would they be anyone else's. At least that's what she believed. The second Red Skull, or whatever was left of Red Skull, told them that only one can get the stone, she knew that she should be the one dying. I got red in my ledger; I would like to wipe it out. This was how she was going to wipe out the ledger ultimately. While she sees Avengers as her family, she thought they could move on and they wouldn't notice her absence much. On the other hand, Clint had a real family. One that she used to be a part of. The one whom she would sacrifice everything for. She grew up without her parents. She didn't want this for her nephews and niece. She didn't even know her father's name. Ivan was her trainer. Was he my real father or was Red Skull mocking me? Either way it didn't matter for her. This mission, the last mission, would be hers. She couldn't let Clint die, the person who gave her second chance, who was the first person to see Natasha instead of Black Widow; she thought she owed him her life. This was her paying back so that's why she jumped.

It's okay. Let me go. It's okay…

The last thing she had on her mind before she hit the bottom of cliff was the hope that they could undo the snap and it was worth it.

The darkness

.

.

.

The water

.

.

.

As she opened her eyes, everything was black as if it was the darkest night. Next she was under water, drowning. She was used to water torture as a former spy but this wasn't it, was it? She tried to reach to surface but realized the water was shallow. Did it get more and more shallow? She felt the bottom of the water body as she sat up, panting for air. Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, in and out. After finally calming down, she observed her surroundings. She was in some sort of endless lake. The sky was orange hue as if the time of sunset yet there was no sun. She got on her feet but she wasn't wet. Strange… The memories of her death flooded her mind what she did, her death. "Is this heaven?" she asked aloud as if someone can answer her. "I thought I would be on a warm beach, sunbathing but I guess this is close enough." She checked herself to see if there is a sign of her hitting the ground. Same suit. "Was there no other clothing in heaven? Or hell? There would be fires everywhere though." Laughing an attempted joke? That's rock bottom Romanoff, literally.

She shook of that thought and looked around her once again, only to spot a mountain. The mountain she and Clint climbed moments ago. With that, her destination was set. As she walked to mountain and climbed it second time that day, her thoughts were on other Avengers, wondering if they won. When she reached the top of mountain, the dementor wannabe was still there. How fitting, Red Skull is the soulkeeper as well as has the attire of a soul sucker.

"You have returned, liebchen." He floated toward her.

"Returned?" she inquired. "Didn't Clint get the soul stone?"

"He did." He turned, going to the edge of cliff where she jumped. "But someone else returned it."

"Are you being dramatic now or were you always like that? I've never imagined a nazi scum being theatrical." That must have hit the right note yet he had a longing face instead of an annoyed one.

"That was another life…" Yup, definitely longing…What a prick! "Captain America returned the stone soon after your friend took it. It was as if stone never left."

"If I died to get the stone then how am I alive now?" Natasha was still unsure if she was alive.

"A soul for a soul." He paused as if he was waiting Natasha to understand. "Giving up the stone requires same will as acquiring it. When Captain America returned the stone, Soul Stone was traded for your soul. Too bad he didn't know that."

"You knew but didn't tell him?" She didn't need answer; Red Skull's silence was enough. "Why am I surprised? Did you want to mess with him one last time… Ugh… never mind."

She didn't wait for a comeback. She was alive, really alive and she didn't want to spend any more her time with Red Skull. If Steve returned it, that means we won. A tear of joy dropped to her cheek. She quickly wiped it with back of her hand and activated her quantum realm suit, pressing the time travel device. What the….? It didn't work! Did they close the time machine? She pressed it again and again but her attempts were futile. After trying for hours, she was ready to give up on her hope to return home but on that last try, she got shrunken.

Everything happened too swiftly. One moment she was in 2014 on Vormir; next she was back on Earth in 2023 yet there was something wrong. She wasn't in the lab but instead she was outside.

"Na-Na-Natasha?" She looked where the sound came from. Bruce was there looking at her as if she was a ghost. The second he recovered, he rushed to her side and hugged her tightly. It would have been better if he didn't have Hulk's strength.

"I can't breath Bruce." She managed to say it.

"You are alive! I can't believe this! Everyone will be happy to see you again!" He was about to call others but Natasha stopped him.

"Hang on big guy, I was dead a few hours ago. I need to adjust again."

"I understand." He stepped away to his machine controller. "Sam and Bucky went that way for some reason." He pointed out the lake, not mentioning what they were doing with Steve.

"Thanks." She said, going to the place he pointed out. She hadn't seen Sam in years, oh how she missed him. She first passed Bucky who was standing a few feet away from Sam who was talking with a man. "Hey" she said softly, scaring him.

"Natasha?" he whispered, not believing her to be there.

She gave him a quick hug. "I'll be back but first I need to talk to Sam." Bucky was speechless. All he could do was nodding in agreement. Natasha paced toward Sam who was now holding Cap's shield. She didn't notify him her presence instead she run the last distance and hugged him. "Missed you, birdman." She said as she squeezed him with her hug.

Sam was as speechless as Bucky but there was one who was more shocked and happy to see Natasha. "Natasha?" An unfamiliar yet at the same time familiar voice called her out. She let Sam go who didn't say anything through all encounter. Who she saw was an old man whose eyes were familiar. "You are alive."

"Steve?"

Fuck you Marvel for not getting her a proper funeral as well as ruining Steve' character arc in CATWS and CACW at the end of movie. Other than those I loved the movie.