Yo! It's me, ya boy, your man, your hombre, your- alright I'll stop.

To those thinking, this story will follow canon. It means that I'll follow the show's events and change it up a bit to fit my story. I will be doing some original chapters as well, it either may be filler or plot-progressive.

Man, I wished I watched S2-4 of SVTFOE. Everyone's talking about how good 'Cleaved' is and here I am, sitting on my ass, writing fanfics instead of catching up with the series. It's been four years already! FOUR! And I've only watched a couple of episodes of season 1 and half of season 2! I am ashamed to call myself a SVTFOE fanboy.

Anyways, enjoy the chapter.

Disclaimer: Star Vs. The Forces of Evil belongs to Daron Nefcy.

Story is mine.

Beta: Celestialfyxen

Jeremy And A Pony Head [1-2]

It was night just like any other night...

No, seriously. It is.

Inside the Diaz Household; more specifically Marco's room, sat said boy and Jeremy with controllers on their hands. They were playing a rather intense match between the two of them. Star was around doing her own thing somewhere. "But screw her, this is my POV anyways. Which means I'm in control of the scenes right now."

As Marco slowly started to break the fourth wall, he hadn't realized that Jeremy was obliterating him in the game. As the game came to an end, it was revealed that the eight year-old boy had won the match...by a landslide.

"Argh!" Marco groaned before throwing the controller in his hands. "How are you so good at this?!"

"Boss, you didn't move your character for an entire minute when you were mumbling to yourself." Jeremy reasoned before smirking. "Maybe you should focus on beating me next time instead of talking to yourself, Boss!"

"I was busy thinking of breaking the fourth wall..." He huffed as he crossed his arms.

Jeremy stared at him blankly. "That is one of the weirdest excuses you have ever given me, Boss."

"One of the weirdest?"

"Yeah! It's right next to 'I don't know how I got a girlfriend, but she's calling me.' excuse when you wanted to run away from those two guys that keep attacking you."

"It wasn't that bad of an excuse..." Marco weakly defended; head now staring into the ground. "To be fair, I was hurrying since I was about to miss a movie that day."

"The one with sparkly vampires?" Jeremy tilted his head. "I didn't know you watched that."

"Ew! No!" Marco shuddered. Whoever created those movies can go jump off a cliff for all he cares. He'll never watch that! Never in a million years! He tried watching it once and it made him want to vomit, which was surprising since he thought the only thing he could get sick from is motion sickness.

Although Star; A.K.A. Door Face as he liked to call, is quickly getting higher on the list of 'Things that Marco gets sick of'.

"I meant the latest Mackie Hand film. Heard it was the finale though. What was the name again? 'Mackie Hand in Claeaved' or something like that."

"I don't know." Jeremy shrugged. Understandable. The movie wasn't for kids anyways, it included blood and gory moments which Marco loved. He wasn't sure if Jeremy could handle all the gore though. "All I know is that you lost! Now you have to make us nachos, Boss!"

"Whatever you pint-sized loser..." Marco grumbled as he stood up and walked towards the door. "C'mon, let's go make us some nachos."

XxXxX

"Yeah! Boss' nachos are the best!" Jeremy happily cheered as he took a pile in his hands and forced it in his mouth all at once. Marco could only twitch his eye upon seeing how Jeremy was able to swallow all of the nachos whole. He didn't chew the food mind you. It was impossible, but at least it made some sense.

Hey, if he can brush his teeth without using a toothbrush, then he couldn't complain about Jeremy being able to eat everything all at once.

Marco looked at the kid and saw he made a mess of himself. Not that he could blame him, he was pretty much the same when he was eight. Grabbing a napkin from the kitchen counter, he wiped away the extra cheese smeared all oflver Jeremy's face. "You really need to learn how to chew your food, kid. I swear you'll die of choking and I'll be the one to blame."

"Whatever, Mom." Jeremy stuck out a tongue at Marco; much to his annoyance.

Before Marco could even reply with one of his snarky comments, there was a knock on the backdoor. Why would someone knock on the backdoor? Wouldn't it make more sense if the person knocking was on the front door. Y'know, the one where random strangers were supposed to enter?!

Not caring for his safety and the house's security, Marco opened the door to see nothing but air surround his view. Jeremy soon appeared right next to him, peeking from inside the door curiously.

"Who is it, Boss?" His squeaky voice entered Marco's ears.

"I don't know, the air?" Marco replied in a non-sarcastic manner. "Maybe this is a sign? A sign that the almighty ones from above will finally take me to paradise. That I must leave this inferior planet this instant!"

"What!? You're going to pass away now?!" Jeremy quickly wrapped his arms around Marco's hips. "Nooo! Please don't leave yet, Boss!"

Marco chuckled as he put the boy on a chokehold and gave him a noogie. "Relax, you twerp! I ain't dying yet! Not today at least."

"Aww~ that's so sweet. Can I talk to B-Fly now?" A voice that came from outside forced the two to freeze. Both of them looked in front of them to see a flying horse head; who can speak english fluently, talking to them. Nobody moved a muscle until Marco decided to break the silence...

"Kid, Am I the only one seeing a flying Horse Face in front of me?"

"Hey!" 'Horse Face' pointed her horn at Marco, who backed away on instinct. "What did you call me?!"

"Horse...Face...?"

"Lame...Lame...Lame..." Star quickly flipped the pages of the book she was reading before throwing it away. "Into the pile of shitty books you go."

She banged her head on the desk she used to study. Since her mother hadn't given her the family heirloom (The Wand), she was practically forced to study martial arts instead. Which in itself, is hard to learn and utterly boring. There were too many stances for fighting! She swore that she saw twenty different stances in one book. Not only that, but imagine the grind she would have to do just to perfect one stance...

Fuck that! She was Star-Fucking-Butterfly! She didn't have time to learn, she had time to fuck around!

"Look what you've done, Mom!" Star shouted to the ceiling. "I'm sleeping in a dingy-ass room for God knows how long, I'm stuck with an asshole who acts as my guide, I still don't have the fucking family wand, and I think I've been reusing the same panties for the fifth time in a row. Is this what you wanted?! Huh?! For me to suffer alone in this horrible world?!"

Before she could continue her not-so-vulgar rant, a knock came from the door. It sounded like they were panicking with the way they were knocking. Getting up and rubbing her eyes, she opened the door to see the child that the asshole; or Marco but she didn't care about that, always had around with him.

"Can i help you?" She warmly smiled. No point getting bitchy at the kid.

"Yes!" The boy frantically waved his arms. Star's original thought was that he was hurt, but that thought quickly diminished with the fact that the boy was moving all over the place. If he wasn't hurt, then what can she help him with? "The Boss- er, Marco! He's being attacked by a flying Horse Head!"

Oh. So that's what it was all about. The asshole was getting attacked, which is good for her. By a flying Horse-

Wait...

"Horse Head?" There's no way she was here, she doesn't even know the place!

"Yeah! And she got really mad when Boss called her that! There was explosions and everything!"

Yep, she's here. Star wondered if Pony Head already killed Marco. If she didn't, she's gonna be real mad at her for not being able to kill the boy.

"Alright then, let's go kil- uh, save your boss!" She held Jeremy by the hand and made their way downstairs.

XxXxX

"Come back here!" Pony Head chased the poor boy in black around with her horn like some sort of bull. "This'll teach you to call me Horse Face!"

Star watched as Marco kept running around the backyard with an amused expression. The idiot was screaming like a little girl as he jumped high and ducked low to avoid her laser-shooting horn. This kept going until Marco decided to run into the house...

And straight into her.

"Argh!" She then fell on her back, with the pervert on top of her. She was temporarily stunned upon hitting the ground. And once she was out of the daze, she saw that they were in a rather...lewd position.

His hands were planted on both sides of her face, squeezing her in the tiny space inside his arms. Her legs were entangled with his. And his face was so close that if it weren't for his hands holding him up, she was sure they would've kissed. Before she could cave the pervert's face in, she saw Pony Head look over them with a surpised face. As if she just had a revelation.

"Pony Head. If you say anything, I'll take that horn off your head and stab it in your eye before using your blood as soup."

"You're B-Fly's man?!"

Dammit Pony Head.

"WHAT?!" Both of them shouted; red-faced.

"No fucking way he's my boyfriend!" She tried to get up, but her legs were still stuck. "Get off me, bitch!"

"Gee, princess, what do you think I'm doing!?" Looks like the pervert was struggling as well. "Jesus, first S&M, now accidental rape?! Just how many fetishes do you have?!"

Star punched the idiot's face for the third time that night and sure enough, it disconnected both of them. While Marco was sitting on the ground rubbing his cheeks, Star had a few words to say to her beloved friend.

"So, what were you doing here, Pony Head?" Star glared at the flying pony in front of her. She wasn't in the best of moods today and she hasn't forgiven her after what she said earlier.

"Right. I have something to give you." Pony Head opened her mouth to give Star something she thought would never get in a million years...

The Royal Wand.

"Holy shit!" She grabbed it to see if it was the real thing. To see if it was indeed her mother's wand.

As soon as she held the wand, it quickly transformed from the elegant and refined wand that her mother always had to something more suited to her style. The wand had a black and red color palette. Black wings appeared from both sides of the wand and it had a white skull in middle.

"Awesome..." She muttered. "How'd you get this?"

"Well, let's just say I had a hard time getting it and leave it at that?" Pony Head smiled at the blonde girl. "Since you finally got your mother's wand, how about we celebrate the night by doing some baaad choices?"

"Fuck yeah I wanna do some bad choices!" Star swore for like the 70th time that day. "But how are we going to do that?"

"Bleh!" She opened her mouth once again to reveal a pair of dimensional scissors. "You asked?"

"Oh man, why do you get dimensional scissors and I don't?!" Star groaned; to which Pony Head simply laughed.

"Being popular with the horses has its benefits." She winked.

"Eugh."

"Can we come?" The child that they had seemingly forgotten; asked.

"Uhh..." Pony Head hesitated, clearly not knowing what to do.

In the end, Star was the one to lay him off gently. "Sorry, uh- what's your name?"

"Jeremy."

"Jeremy. Sorry, but this for girls only! Right Pony Head!" She said in a fake cheery tone. Boys didn't what girls did and girls didn't like what boys did, that was pretty much a child's mentality, right? She expected it to work, but the only response she got was a sad frown from the kid. "Uh oh. He really wants to join."

"Nah! Don't sweat it, B-Fly. He can come." Pony Head annouced to all of them. She had a smile that all-too innocent on her face. Star knew that smile, it meant that Pony Head was somehow going to use this as a way to fuck with her. Not in a literal sense; mind you.

"Really?" Both Jeremy and Star looked at Pony Head.

"Yeah! As long as he brings Star's boyfriend with us, then you're free to go!"

"What?!" Star shouted and wated to choke her bestie's neck. But before she could even say anything, Jeremy spoke up.

"Alright! Did ya hear that, Boss!? We're going to party!"

The pervert hesitated with his reaction. He gave the child a small smile and a thumbs up. "Yeah... That's great, Jeremy..."

Star could already tell that this night was going to suck.

Bam! I'm out.

Fun Fact/s:

- Star's death threat to Pony Head longer and a lot more graphic. If you want to see the complete version, read the extras. Warning: it isn't for the faint of heart, which is why I didn't add it to the chapter.

- Star's swear count this chapter: Fuck/Fucking - 7, Asshole - 3, Bitch/y - 2, Shit/Shitty - 2. Total: 14 swears.

Oh yeah, I finally found a beta for this story. You can see their name from the top A/N actually. But if you can be bothered to scroll up again, their name is Celestialfyxen.

Reviews are love. They help me in creating up more ideas for stories, which is a complete lie. The review can be a compliment, complaint, suggestion, and/or criticism.

Anyways, that's all for now and I will see you in the next one.

Crazyman out.

Extras: Star's Extended Death Threat

"Pony Head. If you say anything, I'll take that horn off your head and stab it in your eye before using your blood as soup. And once I'm done making the soup, I will fucking cut all of your hair off and turn it into noodles. I'll break your fucking horn in half and use that to make chopsticks. Then I'll force feed you to eat your hair and laugh as you slowly choke to your death! And once I'm done killing you, I'll dig you up a grave and bury you in your front yard! You hear me, Pony Head! Huh?!"

Geezus, that was dark.

*Hey! It's me, Star! suddenly appears*

Oh shi-