It has been awhile since I updated so please check out the author's note at the end of this chapter!

Happy Reading!

—

Over two days, Juvia had mainly stayed in her room unpacking boxes where her belongings from the dorm were stored. Gajeel was the one who accompanied her to do the move, although, the entire trip had been filled with an awkward silence as both siblings barely exchanged any words. During the move, Gajeel had done all the work requiring heavy lifting, which was pretty much everything apart from organizing the boxes.

Juvia had expected to see Lisanna there during the move but her roommate was nowhere in sight at the time. Not knowing what else she could do, Juvia left a note hoping Lisanna would give her a text so they could talk. It was the least she could do for causing the girl such distress after the whole incident.

After she was done with flattening the cardboard boxes, Juvia locked the door and changed out of her stuffy hoodie into a long-sleeved shirt. Her phone vibrated on the nightstand and albeit nervous, she picked up the device with hope that it might be her light-haired friend responding to her texts. Rather than her roommate whom she had been expecting a text from, it was the man who could be considered the root of her problem.

She held her breath, somewhat surprised that he had been the one to contact her first.

Gray: Hey Juv, can we talk? Whenever is convenient for you, can we meet? 12.43pm.

The words in his text echoed in her head and with each word she ran her eyes over, she felt her palms growing sweaty and her breathing got erratic. She had totally forgotten that he would've known and the fact that Gray was aware of it all, sent her stomach churning and she felt light-headed all of a sudden.

There was no way he would not find out when such an incident had happened, Juvia rationalized in her head, but it did nothing to stop the nervous feeling swirling at the bottom of her stomach.

"Juvia? Are you okay in there?" Her father called out and it snapped her out of her thoughts. Had he been knocking for long? She did not know, but judging by the panic growing in his tone, he must've been there for a while. Not trusting her voice to answer him, Juvia made a move to the door but stopped abruptly when her vision went blurry.

Blindly feeling for the table next to her for support, she knocked over a trophy she had left there earlier, causing the heavy object to fall against the wooden floor with a loud thud that resounded in her room.

Without so much of a warning, her locked door burst open and Juvia jumped in fright at the loud sound. Her brother was the first to enter, his red eyes filled with worry as he scanned her from head to toe. Behind, their father had the same look on his face.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" Metalicana asked and Juvia nodded slowly, her eyes wide as she stared between the father-son pair and her broken door.

Letting out a sigh of relief, the older male turned and looked at the damaged wood plank that his son had practically tore off the walls from the sheer strength he used.

"What the hell were you doing?" Gajeel growled, no longer looking worried, instead, an angered expression took over his face. Still in shock, Juvia fumbled to find words to answer him.

"I-,"

"Why are you making us worry over you like this! Do you think it's funny?" He spat out. Behind him, Metalicana tried to step in but Gajeel carried on, the frustration he had bottled up for days poured out. "Why can't you just tell us if something is wrong? Why are you hiding things from us?"

He was breathing heavily and he continued, his voice less furious but rather, it was filled with fear as he remembered the day of the incident. "Do you have any idea how scared we were when we got the call? And when we got to the hospital, you didn't want us to see you? Do you have any idea how worried we were and to be denied visitation?"

Gajeel approached closer and from the shortened distance, Juvia could see something in his eyes that was glistening.

"Juvia! What exactly are you thinking? Why can't you tell us? We're family, aren't we?" He sounded exasperated at this point. "Do you not see us as your family anymore? Don't you trust us? What would we do if you really ended up dead that day and we were completely oblivious about it?" His voice cracked when he finished and Metalicana placed a hand on his shoulder, patting it firmly.

Juvia's lower lip trembled. The whole time she was caught up in her emotions and hiding things from her family, they were worrying about her. The whole time she was concerned about her problems with Gray, her father was there to lend a listening ear. The whole time she wanted them to not worry, her actions only made it worse. Why didn't she trust them with her problems?

"I'm sorry." The words shook as they left her.

She had not expected things to end up that way, even when she chose to hide her condition. The unspoken worry she had now placed on her family are consequences of what she had hid from them.

A warmth wrapped around her head and Juvia found herself hiding her face into Metalicana's shirt. "I said I wasn't mad but I too was wondering the same as Gajeel. Family don't hide things from each other."

Juvia sniffled, covering her face with her hands as she bobbed her head in her father's arms.

"Shit, don't cry!"

Her brother sounded slightly panicked and his cracked voice caused her to giggle. Juvia pulled away from Metalicana and wrapped her arms around her big brother. The latter froze at the action and she thought he might pull away but was relieved when he returned the gesture. Tipping on her toes, she rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Stupid. Don't hide things from us and get us worried again."

"I promise." She released him from her hug and wiped the tears off her face. Looking at her brother's face, she could not help but let out a laugh at the reddish rim around his red irises. "Gajeel, were you crying?"

He nudged her with his elbow softly, running a hand over his face, "Shut up."

A sigh from their father turned both heads towards him. The man eyed the broken door that was hanging dangerously by its lower hinges. He tapped his son's shoulder with a pointed look.

"Fix it." Then he headed back downstairs but not before smiling at his two children who are on speaking terms now.

Giggling at her groaning brother who dragged his feet to his room to get a toolbox, Juvia moved towards the broken door, examining it when her phone buzzed again, letting her know of the unread notification.

She stared at the text and she was at a loss as to what would be a good reply. It was a situation she can no longer avoid. But how she wished she could just ignore it and pretend it never happened. An escape from our problems by simply ignoring it, but Juvia had learnt the hard way that hiding from the actual problem can make things worse.

"Who is that?" Gajeel set down the heavy toolbox on the ground, eyeing the little device being held by Juvia. He noticed how she was staring at it in a dilemma and took a step closer, asking in silence about who it was.

Chewing on her lower lip, Juvia contemplated lying. There was a possibility the moment she told him the truth, he would not march down the stairs and kick down the door of their neighbour's. Although, she was not sure if he did do so that Gray would be there. It was still a weekday and Gray would only be home from time to time unlike her weekend routine. But Juvia knew lying would be taking a step back from what she had promised her family. She would no longer hide things from them.

"It's Gray," her voice came out weird, likely from her forcing herself to speak after a dilemma. She glanced at her brother, watching his expression; she was ready to stand and pull him back if he decided to grab the wrench in his hand and go hunting for the raven-haired male.

To her surprise, instead of stomping off like she would expect, Gajeel took a sharp intake of breath before he turned away and started working on the broken hinges of the door. For a brief moment, only the sound of metal scraping against metal filled the room.

"You still have to tell that stripper, don't ya," he asked, keeping his back to her. "Levy said he was all panicked and crap when he found out. You should talk to him."

Hearing that from her overprotective brother, Juvia could not help but wonder if the Gajeel in front of her was a decoy sent by aliens.

"But that does not mean you are going to kiss him and shit, true love's kiss can't fix this!" Gajeel twisted the wrench and it sent the door swinging backwards, hitting the wall with a sharp thud.

From a far distance, Metalicana was peeking up the stairs, cocking a brow at the loud thud he just heard.

With a bitter chuckle, Juvia shook her head, "That won't happen."

"Are you dense, Juvia?" Gajeel looked at her as if she had a screw loose. "That is Gray Fullbuster."

Confused by what he meant, Juvia stared at him blankly, "Yes, he is Gray Fullbuster, the last time I checked anyways."

The man rolled his eyes and hit her forehead gently with his free hand. "Don't do or don't not do things you'll regret. Whether you remember it or not."

Juvia held in a sigh at being reminded of the side-effects from the surgery she was scheduled for was common in other patients according to the doctor. Gajeel must have found out through their father when he told him of what would happen next.

The atmosphere in the room grew heavy and Juvia grabbed his palm, wrapping her fingers around his huge hand. It reminded her of the first time she met Gajeel, when he dragged her by the hand, telling Metalicana she was his sister. The very same hand that held onto hers when she was still navigating her way through the strange world outside of her orphanage.

"I won't forget you guys," she says, trying to peek at her brother's face that was now facing the other direction. "Don't cry, you'll make me cry too."

"I'm not crying, stupid."

Juvia chuckled as he released her hand and left her room, forgetting his toolbox by her half-fixed door.

"Gajeel, my door!" She yelled after him, knowing he had gone back to his room to hide so she could not see his teary face.

"I'll fix it later, damn it!"

The laughter ceased on her lips and Juvia was looking at her phone again.

I made this mess for myself; it is time to pick up the pieces and clean it up.

—

At Rae's, a popular café for the students studying near the area, a young man can be seen sitting impatiently by the window. His right leg bounced uncontrollably while he took another sip of his iced coffee, waiting for a familiar blur of blue to enter his line of sight.

He was anxious to see her and at the same time, he did not know what to say to her when she arrived.

Picking up his phone, he checked the last text she had sent him yesterday.

Juvia: let's meet for brunch, the usual place. 13.01pm.

It would be an understatement to say he was simply nervous. He wanted to tell her everything that happened, he still needed to explain himself. But if Juvia did not believe him, he did not know what else he could do to make up for it. And these budding feelings inside of him, how was he to tell her that?

Engrossed in his thoughts, he had not noticed his best friend approaching his seat with hesitant steps. His phone turned dark again and he pushed the button to see the time. The wallpaper on his phone was something he had never changed over the years and it was one of the beaches they had gone together in the past. His exes had never noticed but there was always a glimpse of blue hair at the corner of the screen, a reminder of how close they had been when he took that picture.

"Hey," Juvia squeaked, clearing her throat right after in embarrassment. She had been standing there for a moment but he was fixated on his phone.

Caught off guard, Gray fumbled with his phone, dropping it on the floor in the process. Seeing that, both hands reached down to pick it up and coincidentally, both hands touched and pulled away as though a shock had gone through them.

Hurriedly, Gray grabbed his device and mumbled a word of thanks as he redirected his attention towards her. Doing that, he found himself caught in a trance. He wondered if it was possible for Juvia to look that beautiful after just being discharged a few days ago from the hospital. She was wearing a light-blue blouse with frills around them, paired with skinny jeans. Her beautiful locks were tied up in a half-up hair do and she had on a butterfly clip he bought for her.

Juvia sat down quickly, her cheeks warm as she tried to avoid his stare. The man coughed, realizing what he had just been doing and the atmosphere between them was uncharacteristically awkward. They had been best friends that were joined at the hip and these types of situations only happened when they made up over an argument.

At the same time, a server came over the two plates of Caramade franks and a chocolate milkshake that Gray had ordered before Juvia arrived. With robotic-like actions, Gray gently pushed the beverage over to the girl, feeling shy for some reason as he muttered that he bought what she usually ordered.

Juvia nodded, trying to fan her hot cheeks discreetly with her hands and she brushed it off at the weather being especially warm that day. So, they sat across each other, looking anywhere but the other's eyes.

Thinking it was too uncomfortable to continue like this, Juvia started off the conversation.

"I-,"

"I-."

Wide-eyed, both of them stared at each other before erupting into soft laughter. If anyone else were to see the entire situation, they would think this two were a couple who had just started dating.

"You go first," Gray gestured, taking another mouthful of his bitter coffee while his eyes flickered between her and the window outside so he did not stare at her for too long.

"You heard of what happened, didn't you?" She asked, chewing the inside of her cheek as she looked away from him to the sweet dessert set in front of them.

To her question, Gray responded with a nod.

"And you know why?" She added, observing his reaction. She wanted a closure to what she felt for him; it would be easier for her to go under the knife without regretting about not telling him about her feelings.

Again, Gray nodded and Juvia squeezed her palm. Her chest felt tight and she breathed slowly to make the pain go away. The medicine she had taken had aided with her condition this much, but she could tell that she would not be able to depend on it for a long time.

"When did it begin?" Gray asked, meeting her blue orbs that he could get lost in forever for they resembled the deep ocean. "Y-your feelings, I mean," he corrected himself when she frowned and tilted her head in confusion as to what he was referring to.

Pursing her lips, the girl leaned back against her seat and hugged her arms.

"I can't tell you specifically when, it may have been as early as high school, or even before that." When he heard that, Gray's lips parted in shock but Juvia gave him a soft chuckle, hoping to ease the tension between them.

"I didn't know, I never did. Why didn't you tell me?" He frowned.

Juvia smiled sadly, "Have you ever heard of best friends falling in love with each other?"

Gray could only stare at her, unable to answer her question. He had never heard of stories like that, best friends tend to stay best friends forever till the end of time or until one of them decided to break off the friendship. Where did love come in that equation? Do both of them realise their attraction before it is too late?

"If I told you, you would've rejected me and that would be awkward wouldn't it, considering we live right next to each other and knew each other for a majority of our lives." She tapped a finger on the table, propping up her chin with the other hand. Her eyes ran over the Caramade franks that were dripping with sticky caramel sauce. "But I too wasn't sure of what I was supposed to do," she confessed, thinking back to her dilemmas. "You had your problems too."

Being reminded of his ugly breakup, Gray shook his head. "How were you so sure I would reject you?"

This time, it was Juvia's turn to be caught off guard. She blinked at him and let out a nervous laugh, "You had just started dating that girl, why would I-?"

"I dated her because I was unsure of what to do with the feelings which I recently realised I had for you."

His abrupt confession made her unsure of how to react. It sounded unreal to her, for Gray to like her in that sense that was more than just normal friends. She searched his face for any trace of lie, perhaps he was just saying that to make her feel better, perhaps he was just talking nonsense because Gray was bad with talking about feelings. Perhaps—

"I am not saying this out of guilt," he stated, knowing what she might be thinking after what he had just placed out on the table for her to digest. He was also well-aware of his skin that was flushing with heat, feeling uncomfortable with baring his inner thoughts.

He glanced around the café that was starting to become crowded with its patrons. "Let's go somewhere else to talk."

Juvia nodded after looking around like he did.

They asked for the food to be packed in a takeout box and Gray led Juvia to his motorcycle that was parked by the side of the road. He handed her a spare helmet kept at the back of his vehicle.

Juvia reached up to remove the clip holding up her hair. A yelp of pain came from her when the locks got caught. Hearing her distress, Gray immediately had his attention on her.

"Help?" She winced.

Reaching towards her hair, his hands trembled ever so slightly as he untangled the strands from the clip. Her hair felt soft against his skin and he was reminded of the time when they were younger. He had asked to touch her hair then, because he was so curious what it would feel like due to its unique colour. Lost in thought, his cold fingers grazed her hot cheeks in a spur of the moment. Surprised by his actions, Gray removed his hand and slid down the visor over her face.

"I- I thought you might've forgotten how to put on the helmet. It has been a while since you last rode with me," he stuttered and went to get his headgear.

Seeing this side of him for the first time, Juvia could not help but smile. She held back the urge to tease, seeing the tips of his ears growing red once again. They were hidden from her sight when he quickly put on his helmet. For such reasons, she found something warm flourishing over her bosom. Was this what it felt like to know someone liked you the way you liked them?

She climbed on behind him, very conscious of how close they were. Before all this happened, she would've thought it was very normal of how close they were, but now, it felt different. She placed her hands on his shoulders, feeling how tense they were and decided it would not be wise to lean up against him like she usually did.

Juvia waited for Gray to start the engine, however, he surprised her when he used one hand to pull hers around his torso. "Grab on tight, I don't want you falling off."

She nodded and did as told. Feeling embarrassed she hid her face into his back, not knowing the man was also having the same reaction to what he had just said.

—

It was in the late afternoon when they pulled up at the beach. A half hour drive from town, the beach was sparsely crowded on a weekday. Juvia texted Gajeel where they had gone, reassuring him that she would be fine with Gray there.

After Gray had parked, the two walked towards a quiet part of the beach. Eventually, they found themselves walking on the stone path where the gentle waves lapped at the saltwater-chipped rocks.

Juvia rubbed her hands over her bare arms, feeling chilly from the strong winds. Out of nowhere, she felt warmth wrapped around her back and saw Gray standing behind her, his outer shirt was placed around her shoulder.

"Thank you," she said gratefully to him, slipping her hands through the long sleeves, taking in comfort the slight warmth it provided from his body heat. His scent on the clothing made it harder for her to ignore that fact and Juvia pulled it tighter around her in a subtle manner.

The pair sat on the ground in silence and Juvia watched the waters go back and forth, the foam at the edge of the waves would appear and disappear with every movement. Being caught in the trance of staring at the water, Juvia had almost forgotten the reason they were there in the first place. It was sparsely crowded, the area they had gone to were absent of any other beach-goers. Other than the sound of the waters crashing on the rocks, it was purely quiet for the two who needed to talk in private.

"I admit," Gray started out of the blue. It was awkward and abrupt. He had never spoken out about what he felt so openly before. When she gave him her full attention, he swallowed the lump in his throat. He could barely remember the last time they had a conversation as serious as this if he did not count the one at the café just an hour ago. Yet, he knew he had to say it right there and then. "I haven't been the best friend in the past months. But I was serious when I said I felt something for you and it is not just friendship that is making me feel that way."

Regardless of how much he was feeling embarrassed, he made sure to get his point across. His neck was flaring red but he pushed through.

"Gray, I-."

"No, no, let me finish. I still have things I need to clear up and explain to you." He breathed out, tugging at the collar of his t-shirt. "Those things I've said, the ones where I was mean and rude, I didn't mean it that way. It was dumb and stupid for me to say that because I did not know how the way I phrased it was weird-," he rambled and ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

"What happened that night…" Gray held in a groan and explained the whole situation from that night once again.

As he got to the part where he told her to leave, Juvia found herself recalling the entire incident from that night, from when they got to the party to when she left it feeling extremely dejected.

"…So, we broke up. I wanted to look for you but I was preoccupied with my self-pity and stuck myself in the room drinking all of Natsu's beer stash." Juvia gave him a look when he mentioned the last part. He responded with a sheepish smile and continued, "When I gotten to my senses, I couldn't contact you, you had gone back home and it was Eliana's anniversary and I was so invested in myself that I forgot such an important date."

She shook her head. "You don't have to remember-,"

"No, I do. It's an important date to you and it should be to me as well. Eliana was a wonderful woman even for the short period of time that I knew her. I should've been more sensitive about it." He combed through his hair again, the wind disheveling his efforts to style it that morning. "I'm sorry."

The way he was looking at her was genuine and earnest, and though Juvia was not bothered about the fact he had forgotten, seeing as how it had bothered him.

"And, I was serious about what I said earlier."

His dark eyes were staring right into her blue orbs and Juvia felt herself pulling back, feeling slightly intimidated by how close they were all of a sudden.

She placed a hand on his chest to put distance between them.

"Gray, if you're saying this to make me feel better, it would be better if you never said it at all," she said, turning her head away when her eyes felt the sting and she blamed it on the wind. If he had to lie to her, she would rather not hear it.

Abruptly, he grabbed her hand so she would face him once again. Rather than the man who was always distant and cold to others, she had seen his other side, the side whom only his closest friends would know. One that was vulnerable to emotions and the one he was baring out for her right now.

"I'm not saying this for the sake of saying it. I'm telling you that I have feelings for you!" He yelled, and his cheeks were tinted red. Juvia noticed something glimmering in his eyes and felt alarmed as she hesitated reaching up for his face. "Shit, Juvia!"

His nose was turning red and she was at a loss as to what she could do to resolve the pain evident on his face. "I was so worried when the others called me saying you were in the hospital! A million thoughts went through my mind about what would happen if you were really gone, what would I do, how will I live on without you," his voice cracked slightly and he pressed his forehead against the back of her hand. "I do like you. I like you so much that I did not even realise it was to this point where I'm worried that I'll lose you."

Her hand felt warm; there was something hot rolling off her skin. She caught a liquid drop falling onto the ground they were sitting on.

"Juvia, I can't lose you. I can't lose you because I love you."

His confession was so soft that if the wind were any stronger, she would not hear a thing.

Gray removed his head from her hand, watching her, unsure of what she might respond to him.

Hesitantly, she placed a finger shakily beneath his eye, using her thumb to wipe away the stray tear that ran down his face. She had not realise she too was crying until he caught a tear that rolled down her cheek. If anyone were to see them, there would surely be many questions as to why two grown adults were crying together.

"I can't lose you. I'm serious." His voice was filled with so much desperation and sincerity that Juvia had to bite down on her lower lip to stop the ugly sobbing sound she so badly wanted to let out.

He told her his feelings. He loves her. He loves her! She should be happy; she should be jumping for joy. She should be everything but crying.

It's too late.

The truth was painful for her to even acknowledge on her own. How could she tell him that?

He held a palm to her cheek, searching her blue eyes for any kind of indication that she was doubtful about him. He knew he was looking at her with so much hope despite the fact that she had developed a disease because of how much she loved him.

For a moment, the two only stared into each other's eyes for the longest time. Blue melding into black and it was like the world had disappeared around them. If time could pause, Juvia wanted it to stop right there. It felt unreal and at the same time, she wanted it to be unreal as—

"—it's too late."

"W-What?"

She removed his hand where it touched her skin and held it down on his lap. As calm as she could muster her voice to be, Juvia gave him the cruelest truth that she wished she never had to tell him.

"I am going for the surgery." She told him and his confused expression was enough for her to know that he was clueless about what surgery does. "When someone with Hanahaki go for surgery, they remove the roots in the lungs. Removing the roots, removes the feelings and memories they have of that person."

"Juvia, what-?" His mouth parted and closed, unable to make sense of what he was being told.

"The roots inside here," she touched her chest where the said matter was, "They have grown too far for me to recover on my own. The surgery is set for in less than two weeks."

"No," Gray shook his head, in disbelief. All this time, he thought they might be able to resolve this with his confession. He read it up online, if the person they loved returned their feelings, they would recover. So, what was Juvia talking about?

Trying to wrap his head around the truth, Gray was at a loss. "You'll forget me?"

The words were even harder to accept when he said it out loud. After the surgery, Juvia would be like a stranger, no, to her, he would be a stranger she never knew. Juvia's face crumpled and she covered her hands over it so he could not see her that way. It hurt more than ever to repeat the facts out to herself and to him, and it hurt even more to see him like that.

Perhaps it was better if he never knew. Perhaps she should've just gone for treatment in the beginning without telling anyone. Perhaps-

No. It was too late to be thinking about that.

—

On their way back, Juvia had unconsciously wrapped her arms tightly around his torso. She buried her face into his back, recalling the expressions on his face when she told him earlier. They had both been silent when they got onto the vehicle after he said that he would take her home.

Maybe it was fate that they weren't made for each other, she thought to herself.

To be honest, she was still shocked that he felt that way towards her. Was she just that dense or was it Gray who was dense? Were the two of them that dumb to not realise that part about each other?

It's too late.

Even if he knew, it was too late. She cannot take any detours after proceeding this far on the path she chose. Maybe after today, they should cut off all contacts, she thought. It would be better to do it that way than for her to wake up from being cut open to not know who Gray is.

Just thinking about it made her nose burn and Juvia chewed on her lower lip, shutting her eyes as she took in a deep breath.

It's too late.

She lifted her head and turned so she could see where they were. The sky was no longer bright like it was earlier, the sun was setting and the blue sky was dyed in orange and red. The passing vehicles and the hum of the engine lulled her to sleep and before she knew it, her eyes were closing on their own and she felt a warm hand holding onto both of hers tightly.

—

*Author's note*

It has been a while since my last update! How was this chapter? I have been struggling to write this chapter and I hope it wasn't too much or too lacking. I do think both of them are OOC here but it is what I've wrote them into, so I hope it isn't too weird.

Also, some of you may notice I had uploaded similar chapters before as 'new'. That is because, I have been editing chapters 1-3 during that time and also added contents to chapter 3. This resulted in the need to divide chapter 3 as it would be too long. I would highly suggest rereading from the start when I am done with editing all chapters. As of now, I have finished editing chapter 4 and am staring on editing chapter 5 soon. There isn't too much of difference in the storyline from my editing in chapter 3, but I have added a little more details to our little Panther Lily inside.

Once again, thank you for reading and please do leave me a review/comment if you liked it 3

Stay safe and remember to wear a mask when you go out!

Love,

Smiles: )