InuYasha would never admit it, not even to the Gods themselves, but he was exhausted like he has never been before.

She would have noticed it, he thought to himself, slowly making his way to the Honekui no Ido. She would have called me a liar to my face when I said I was fine and made me rest either I liked it or not. The only problem was he didn't need to rest.

He needed her.

And the idea that she may be permanently out of his reach seemed so absurd he couldn't bring himself to fathom it at all.

InuYasha knew when resplendent lights involved him against his will and saw it on her face as the well abruptly casted him back into his own era. Something was wrong.

Kaede was the one to explain, earlier that day, what happened. The Honekui no Ido had served its purpose marvelously and now that their mission had come to an end, the magic that connected their worlds faded. InuYasha understood that.

Yet he refused to accept it.

So there he was, alone in the middle of the night, claws buried deep into the woodend edges of the well, eyes fixed on its bottom. It didn't look any different from the outside. Swallowing the lump that had lodged in his throat since he returned, the hanyou jumped inside.

It hurted even more than he had imagined when his feet touched the ground.

He knew it would happen — as if he was fated to watch helpless while she slipped through his fingers again and again — but pretending he could dive into the Honekui no Ido in one moment and be holding her in the next when he wasn't absolutely certain he couldn't was the only way to make things bearable. After all, lying to himself was the only kind of lie he was good at.

There was no pretending now, the portal wasn't there anymore.

He sat there and let defeatense involve him in the dark.

"We finally did it." He said, in the tone he saved just for her. "Naraku is gone and everyone else is fine. It's over now. We won." Without his consent a heavy sigh followed. "Then why do I feel like I lost everything?"

Then InuYasha realized what his exhaustion was about. He could probably fight a thousand youkais one by one at that very moment — courtesy of being a hanyou. But not even demon blood could heal a broken heart.

"No." He shook his head, jaw clenching in determination. "I'm not losing you. So do what you gotta do and come back, you hear me? I'll be waiting right here." As his arms crossed, echoes of his own voice was the only response. "Come back to me."

Kagome had tried everything.

From resorting to her spiritual powers to praying — and going as far as using her grandpa's old charms —, nothing seemed to work. No matter what she did, the well insisted on remain as inactive as it was before she turned fifteen.

Even though Kagome had been trapped in her era before, this was a entirely different situation. She could no longer feel the magnetic presence that captivated her soul in ways she had yet to fully comprehend.

It infuriated and terrified her at the same time.

Both hands on her waist, gazing at the wooden structure, she closed the short distance with unwavering purpose. For the fifth time that day, she dived into the Honekui no Ido, and for the fifth time that day, nothing happened.

Frustration clasped her hands into a trembling fist.

"WHY — WON'T — YOU — WORK?" She jumped between the words, letting anger fill the gap among them in a pathetic attempt to restore the lost portal. Realizing flushed cheeks and white knuckles would be her only achievement, Kagome sat on her knees.

"I can't get back." The more the phrase resounded through her mind the more it lost its meaning.

It had been days since Kagome had last seen him. She was still not sure of how it happened or why. In one second InuYasha was there, watching as she involved her mother in a cramped hug. In the other, he disappeared and she was left screaming his name and staring to the empty bottom of the old construction.

The well hasn't worked ever since.

After several minutes being held captive by paralyzing despair, Kagome decided to leave. The last thing she needed was to worry her family even more.

There was no use in staying, anyway. With the jewel vanished forever, no magical happenstance would miraculously save her this time.

"I'm sorry." Was the last thing she whispered before climbing her way out.

"It's been weeks and they're still tiptoeing around me." Inuyasha let the back of his head fall on the wooden surface and focused on the clouds drifting through the blue sky — even them seemed to have a place to be. "It's so irritating! Acting so fucking nice all the time and pretending it's their normal behavior as if I couldn't tell the difference, telling me you'd want me to be happy as if I didn't know that already!"

Deep down, InuYasha appreciated the concern of his friends, but there was nothing they could possibly do to make him feel better. They couldn't just ignore her absence and go on as if nothing happened, but they couldn't keep treating him with such caution either. Ultimately, it only made him feel like a burden.

That was why InuYasha valued those moments alone in the sole spot in the whole land where he could feel closer to her, when he didn't have to put up a tough facade or threaten to cut off the head of whoever asked if he was alright. It was almost peaceful.

"In the meanwhile, your scent faded away." The hanyou informed, trying not to sound too desperate about it. He could either face reality or get smashed by it, and as far as reality was concerned, Kagome's aroma — both a source of comfort and a reassurance of her presence — was doomed to disappear eventually. InuYasha wasn't eager to face a world without her smell in it. He had done it before and it positively sucked. "Everything feels so wrong without it." He made a long pause. "They want to help me? Why don't they bring you back to fix this yourself?" InuYasha felt his lips curve into a lifeless smile. "Yeah, didn't think so."

Although the half demon knew he wasn't being fair to his friends — without them he would be in a much darker place — right then he didn't care.

Few were the things he still cared for.

"Well, the mess you made in the kitchen was completely fixed a while ago." Kagome smiled affectionately at the memory of InuYasha destroying her sink in the name of killing a cockroach, but it didn't last long. "It's like you've never been here."

Suddenly, the truthfulness of the statement sinked in. It really is like that, isn't it? She embraced her legs and let her chin rest on her knees.

It was a deeply hidden fear of hers, that someday he would be gone and she would be left with nothing to proof that everything they've been through had been real, not just a fairytale with a bittersweet ending that her mind had created out of boredom.

"I still have your cap in my bedroom, though. It was never used before you came along, so I don't quite know what to do with it. Truth be told, I don't know what to do with myself, either."

While in their quest to defeat Naraku, Kagome had so thoughtfully concentrated on the mission that she left to worry about 'after' when that moment came. Now 'after' was here and it was nothing like she had imagined.

She sighed.

"We didn't even have the chance to say goodbye." Always the optimistic, the priestess shook the depressing thought off. "Maybe it's for the best." Goodbyes were for people who needed closure and that was the last thing Kagome wanted. Besides, she didn't trust herself to simply let him go if the opportunity was given. "How could I ever say goodbye to you, after all?"

If her past experiences had taught her something was that the bond they shared wasn't the type of thing one could merely walk away from. The Honekui no Ido may never work again, but the invisible force that tied their destinies together remained strong. Kagome could feel it pulsing within her veins.

Unfortunately, it didn't make things any easier.

The sobs came without warning.

"I know you hate when I cry..." She managed to say between short breaths, failing on keeping composure. "But you're not here, so…"

Unceremoniously, Kagome allowed the tears to pour.

A/N: this is probably not the content you guys would be into. I'm sorry. Just blame it on Ross Copperman.