AN: Hello, I still haven't bought Lucasfilm from Disney, so I still don't own Star Wars. This takes place in my AU (which I share with my friend RensKnight) where Ben doesn't turn to the dark side. Basic rundown: Young Ben tells his parents about Snoke invading his mind, Luke drives Snoke out of his mind, Ben grows up to be a doctor and marries my OC Ara Greer, who's a mechanic.

"The Pull to the Dark"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 1

Darkness.

Ben saw nothing in the dark, but the persistent sense that he was going somewhere pushed him forward. As for where he was going, he couldn't remember – he only knew it was somewhere.

Then came the sound of a lightsaber activating.

The red, flaming light cut through the darkness, burning Ben's eyes. He had to blink a few times before his mind comprehended how this was unlike any lightsaber he'd seen before – two glowing extensions shaped the blade like a sword and its light danced like fire. Maybe it was actual fire – the heat it emitted felt like it could burn Ben's skin.

"Ben Solo . . ."

The low, menacing voice sent his head spinning and froze his heart as a face emerged from the darkness – no, not a face, a mask. Black with silver around the eye area, expressionless, reflecting the lightsaber's fiery glow in what would be its eyes.

"Who are you?" Ben whispered.

"You know me," said the voice, the mask staring into Ben's eyes.

"No . . . I don't . . ." The words came out in a hoarse, uncertain voice.

The mask's eyes – if there were any eyes behind the mask – stared into Ben's as if piercing through him. "I'm you."

His breath burst into a string of desperate pants. "No . . . no . . ."

" 'No, no,' " the voice mocked. "Yes, I'm you. Or I'm what you could have been." He raised the lightsaber until it was inches away from Ben's throat, Ben reflexively shut his eyes and turned away, but the blazing heat still drew sweat from his pores.

"I'm what you almost were. Strong, fearless, invincible – not the whimpering child you chose to be instead." Now the heat felt like it was searing Ben's skin as the blade's hum buzzed in his ears. "Look at you, whimpering even now. Yes, whimper, whimper, whimper like a pathetic baby."

Indeed he was whimpering, but he couldn't make himself stop, nor could he keep his body from shaking. Droplets were racing down his face – maybe sweat, maybe tears, maybe both.

"Weakling," the voice still taunted. "If you had become me, you could have protected those you love, but now . . ." The voice seemed to be relishing every word. ". . . now perhaps your daughter will become me instead!"

"NO!"

. . .

Ben's cry followed him into the waking world, where his eyes shot open again to darkness, but this time a little of Coruscant's nighttime lights granted some visibility and let him know where he was. No frightening mask, no burning lightsaber, no threatening voice. Home, in bed, his wife snoring next to him. Safe.

But was it safe?

He rolled over to face his wife. Ara's slumbering face glistened slightly in the city lights, her curly black hair spreading in various angles over the pillow. Ben reached over and placed his hand on her heavily pregnant stomach, feeling for their baby girl through the blankets. Yes, there was that little life, the soul connecting to him through the Force as if the baby were already wrapping her fingers around his. Tiny, innocent, precious.

Could the dark side already want her?

Ben's lungs felt like they were being crushed as his senses further brushed the tiny soul, feeling her wordlessly responding. She was Force-sensitive, not that it surprised Ben any.

It just terrified him.

"Now perhaps your daughter will become me instead . . ."

It was a dream . . . just a dream . . . no, he was just fooling himself. It would only be a dream if he were normal, but he wasn't. He was blessed and cursed with the Force and his daughter was too. Ignoring this could put her in danger of . . . of . . .

"Now perhaps your daughter will become me instead . . ."

The baby nudged her father's hand as if begging him to protect her and his eyes welled up. The flaming sword of a lightsaber flashed behind his eyelids every time he blinked, taunting him, daring him to stand up to it and its shadowy master.

"I won't let him hurt you, sweetheart," he whispered, though he doubted himself the instant the words were out of his mouth.

Though he lay back down and tried to let his wife's snores calm him, he didn't sleep for the rest of the night.

. . .

Ben entered the patient's room in a daze, feeling like he could fall asleep standing up. Two cups of caf this morning had done no good in getting rid of the drowsiness and though he had wanted to tell Ara about the nightmare, he'd found himself unable to speak when he tried to do so, as if the figure in the dream had overtaken his will.

"I'm what you almost were . . ."

Ben shook his head like a lothcat after scratching its ears. The patient, he had to focus on the patient.

"Hello, my name is Ben Solo," he said in his professional voice. "What seems to be the problem?"

The Togruta man in the hospital bed flinched before speaking. "Fell down stairs. Leg hurts."

Ben took a deep breath. "Is it all right with you if I touch your leg with the Force and try to assess the level of damage? I promise you it won't hurt."

The patient shrugged. "Sure, go ahead."

Ben held out his hand over the patient's injured leg, closing his eyes and trying to release himself into the Force.

"You cannot protect your daughter."

His eyes shot open, a gasp emitting from his mouth.

"What?" the patient asked, his eyes bulging. "Is something wrong? I thought I just had a break or something, but is it worse?"

Ben swallowed, realizing that he had needlessly frightened the patient. "I'm sorry . . . no, it's not your leg, it's . . ." What was he supposed to say? Telling the patient that he'd heard a voice in his head definitely wouldn't be a good idea. "I didn't sleep well last night and I'm tired." Well, that was true. "Can I try again?"

"Sure."

Ben raised his hand again, but no sooner had he closed his eyes than the masked figure from his dream appeared behind his eyelids. They shot open again, blinking at the patient. "I'm . . . I'm sorry."

The patient flinched a little, but he looked like he was trying to conceal his pain. "It's all right."

"No, it's not all right," said Ben. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm in a good condition to take care of you. I'll send in another doctor to look after you as soon as possible."

The patient gave a hesitant nod. "Okay, I guess."

. . .

Ben's supervisors told him to go home and get some rest, but while he did indeed go home and change into more comfortable clothes, he didn't think he could rest. He turned on the holovid and slumped down into an armchair, trying to at least pretend to watch the pod race that was playing – usually he loved watching pod races, but now he couldn't keep track of which pod was which or who was winning. The fog in his mind kept pushing his eyelids down, down, down . . .

"You can't protect your daughter. You chose to be weak . . ."

"Ben sweetheart, are you home?"

Ben jolted awake at the sound of Ara's voice. He opened his eyes in time to see his wife trudge into the living room and slump down on the sofa. "Whew, I dunno if I can last another week before maternity leave starts. Try fixing speeders with a baby inside you making her own demands." She yawned, stretching out her arms and legs and kicking off her shoes. "Come over here, baby, I need some pampering."

Ben rose from the armchair and settled himself at the end of the sofa, where Ara gently placed her feet in his lap. He eased her socks off her feet, not caring about the sudden odor – in fact, he welcomed it, since it at least distracted him for a moment.

"Ben?" Ara asked as her husband started pressing on her calloused toes. "Are you okay?"

Ben cleared his throat, trying to ignore how his stomach was twisting and making him feel like vomiting. "Ara . . . honey . . . there's something I need to tell you."

"What is it?"

Ben took a deep breath.

"I had a nightmare about the dark side taking our baby."