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"Who the hell is this calling me at fucking 6:00 in the damn morning?! You wanna die today, fuckwad?! Huh?!"

"Bakugou it's me."

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"Deku if you call me again I will personally hire some damn goons to fuck you over."

"I need some help kacchan and you're the only one I trust to do this. Please."

"Make it snappy, Deku. What the fuck do you want from me."

"I need you... To babysit."

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Bzzzzzz-

"Fuck off Deku. I'm not going to do that shit-"

"It's Ochako."

"So what round face, do I give a shit? I don't care if you're damn All Might himself, I'm not going to fucking keep your kid. The fuck you think I am, a damn daycare?!"

"No, but you've shown nothing but love and support for her since you saw her. At least bear some responsibility-"

"Bear some responsibility, huh?! Maybe you should have thought about that and checked the damn condom, dumbass!"

"As we have told you Bakugou, she was planned. Now, as godfather-"

"A position I was forced into!"

"... Right. Anyways, as forced godfather, I'm pretty sure this is your duty."

"It's also your duty as the damn mother of a two and a half-year-old child to ensure you take care of your daughter."

"... The fact that you have been keeping track of that shows just how much Yuki has grown off on you."

"If you don't know the damn age of your fucking kid, round face, I might be tempted to call child protective services on your asses."

"I do. I'm just quite surprised that the godfather who cares nothing for his goddaughter can remember how old she is with such accuracy."

"Don't try and switch this, round face. I know that trick, bitch, it ain't gonna work this time."

"What trick, Kacchan? I'm not doing anything at all."

"That shit! Trying to guilt-trip me into looking after her!"

"Dammit Bakugou, do you have to be so difficult!"

"Because, bitch, last time I checked, you want to invade my time and house so you can just go and fuck Deku for a whole day. You think nobody sees those fucking hickies on your neck? Didn't know Deku was such a fucking animal."

"Oh my god bakugou, shut up!"

"I'm only speaking the damn truth, bitch. Now fuck off of my phone and take care of your kid!"

"We can't Bakugou! Would you just let me explain!"

"Go on, round face. Explain, why the fuck I should look after your kid."

"Okay, as you know, our agency has been kicking off a ton-"

"No thanks to me."

"Thank you for all the help. Anyways, Deku needs to go for some speech and workshop for teens in order to inspire them to become heroes. Since the agency has been invited over, it's not as if he can't go."

"And?"

"And what?"

"So that's it? You're going to stay home aren't you? Stop making excuses."

"You know there is no way I'm staying home. You remember what happened last time."

"Then I'll go with him."

"So you can kill a bunch of kids and shatter their dreams; dashing their hopes across the stars? Yeah, I don't think so. What part of last time did you fail to understand?"

"You've got quite the imagination. But the answer is still no."

There was a scream and the stomping of feet. Bakugou grinned and hung up.

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"Deku, you can get the fuck off my damn phone because there is no way in hell-"

"Wanna bet?"

"You wanna go shitty Deku?! I'll come over there and rip One-For-All Straight outta your ass-"

"Hi, Uncle Kacchan."

Oh no, he fucking did NOT.

"Hello there Yuki, my lovely little goddaughter. How's it going?"

"I'm fine, Uncle! Daddy said that you're gonna let me stay over for the weekend!"

Deku what in the fuck are you talking about?! A whole fucking weekend?! Are you fucking crazy?!

"Well, you better tell daddy to stop lying, baby girl. Daddy didn't tell me anything about that."

"Huuuuuh?! But Uncle Kacchan you make it sound like you don't want me to come over."

Oh god, that cute voice! It was freezing his explosive nature right over! how could he damn resist!

"But sweetheart you have to understand, Uncle has things he needs to do as well-"

"But I thought I was always numba one?"

Fuck.

Deku.

Fuck Deku, may he be hung, drawn, quartered, drowned, burnt asunder, shredded, grated and turned into damn fertilizer.

With a frozen heart, Bakugou answered his goddaughter.

"... Okay, sweetie-pie, I'll make an exception for you."

"Oh yes, thank you uncle Kacchan!"

"Anything for you baby. now give the phone to your father so I can speak to him please."

"Daddy! Uncle Kacchan is really, really mad at you!"

Someone laughed in the background and Bakugou snorted.

"So you accepted?"

"Fuck you, I'm going to kill you when I see you. I've had her over for a fucking day and now you want me to take her for a fucking weekend? All might so help you, Deku I will shove one of my gauntlets so far and fast up your asshole it will cause a fucking tsunami to burn down your house you dipshit eating, cock-gobbling-"

"Last I checked Tsunamis don't burn anything."

"Wanna get smart-mouthed with me, you little shit? I'll come and fucking blow up your house like it's the fourth of July, you turd munching, snot-haired fucking goblin."

"That's a new one."

"FUCK YOU DEKU, YOU GREEN-HAIRED SHIT! I'LL KILL YOU!"

"Guess we're done."

"Just make sure you say you're prayers when you bring her. You're gonna see Satan himself."

"Say bye to Uncle Kacchan, Yuki!"

"See you later, Uncle Kacchan! I love you!"

Ah, indeed she soothed a heart with just a voice.

"Goodbye, my dear. I love you lots and lots too."

"Hehehe, thank you, Uncle."

Wait a minute, did she say see you later?

"Bye Kacchan."

"Wait one motherfucking second!"

"What now?"

"Today is fucking Thursday. Don't you fucking tell me-"

"You've always been smart, Kacchan. I think you know the answer to this one. See ya at 6!"

Deku hung up.

He really hung up.

Bakugou looked at his phone in rage.

"DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKUUUUUUUU!"

He punched the wall in anger, continuing until his fists were sore and his anger slightly sated. Seeing it was just past 6:30, he thought to get himself a drink and try to calm down as much as possible. Going into his kitchen and grabbing a carton of orange juice, he poured himself a glass and tried to soothe his mind. He couldn't help but think that he had definitely had a conversation like that before but he just couldn't seem to remember.

Finishing the orange juice, he thought he might as well take his early morning jog a little earlier than usual. Not really any harm in it now; he was wide awake and it didn't seem like he was going to be sleeping again any time soon.

"Fucking Deku, always ruining everything. Didn't just wear a condom like a normal person, had to be fucking different..."

Throwing on some shorts and a tanktop, he wore his trainers and left his apartment, wanting to work up a sweat to get the day started.

One of the reasons why Bakugou loved living here was the damn breeze. Every morning, there was a cold breeze that always seemed to cool him down, no matter how hot he would be. For someone as fiery as him, the temperature was just right to ensure he got his peace of mind. However, he couldn't help but feel like the conversation with Deku had already been done before. He hadn't spoken to the snot-haired shit in weeks, so what was this feeling of Déjà vu?

As he reached a small playground. It was time for some stretches to get himself energised and allowed him to plan for the day ahead of him.

"I paid the rent yesterday, so I got grocery shopping to do, Patrol in the afternoon, Shitty Hair is coming over to drop his kid, Deku coming over to drop-"

Oh, shit SHIT SHIT!

Bakugou raced back to his house as he remembered what was going on today. He understood this nagging feeling finally, but it didn't make the situation any fucking better.

He had agreed to take BOTH Shitty Hair and Deku's kids for the weekend. That meant both these assholes had somehow got one over him!

"Good morning, Bakugou, dear!"

Bakugou turned to see one of his neighbours waving at him. An old lady who's husband had passed away quite a while ago. She was sitting outside with a mug of something, sipping away at it. She always seemed to be watching him, or at least, giving him extra food whenever she could. She played it off as looking after the younger generation, but Bakugou was always patient whenever she began to bring up her own life stories. He wasn't sure why he tolerated her at all; his own mother he had run away from yet this old woman always seemed to get him to play her tune.

"Morning, Ms Kuromori! You really shouldn't be sitting out this early, you old bird, it'll get cold later."

"Thank you for caring, dear, but I'm quite alright. Finished your exercises early today?"

"Ah, nope, life is getting in the way as usual."

"Oh, you're going to get ready for work this early?"

"Nah, got some old classmates coming over, unfortunately. I've got some stuff to do before they come over."

"Unfortunately?"

"Yeah, it's not like I invited the bastards, they just keep coming over-"

"Bakugou."

Bakugou stopped talking as he heard her tone deepen. She leaned forward in her chair as she spoke to him.

"You should never underestimate the power of love. It can get you out of many sticky situations."

"Love? I don't need something as trivial as that-"

"Haha, that's exactly what I said, my dear. But even I fell in love. Don't belittle it. It might just hit you as hard as a truck. Now off you go. I'm sure you've got better things to do than listen to an old lady."

"Right. See ya, Ms Kuromri!"

"Goodbye, dear. Come over later for some hotpot!"

Bakugou snickered as he reached his door. The woman's food was always delicious but damn, her hotpot was the best. He would never say that to her face though.