IX. (ALTERNATE POV)

.

The moment Merlin unties the first knot and get to feel Arthur's sleeve, he exclames:

"Arthur! You're soaked through!"

It shouldn't come as a surprise (Arthur just got out of a lake, right), and yet, it is - Arthur must be freezing, and Merlin hadn't noticed; even though Merlin understands that Arthur must have been too preoccupied to realize or care about being wet and cold until now.

Merlin's first instinct is to remediate the situation. He stops himself though; using his magic about Arthur without his authorization, now that he knows, just feels wrong.

"May I dry your clothes?"

Arthur blinks when he realizes Merlin's intent. He shows no hesitation though; only tilts his head closer in... curiosity?

"Go ahead."

Arthur watches. If he notices his eyes flashing gold, he doesn't comment on it. But there is a sudden intake of breath as Arthur must feel himself warming up:

"You've done this before, haven't you?"

Merlin tries to shrug casually while internally fidgeting nervously:

"Well, being on patrol was hazardous enough on its own without worrying about you getting sick..."

/

My magic is for you, Arthur. Only for you.

Leaves and earth covering up their tracks. Attackers tripping on their own feet, or their weapons missing target. Arthur had understood in retrospect how often indeed Merlin must have been using his magic to protect and even save his life.

But Arthur suddenly realizes that Merlin apparently always had in mind not strictly his survival but also, simply, his well-being? It is undeniable though, as Arthur also realizes that he should have noticed indeed how there had been no more waking up in wet clothes, even after heavy rains, ever since Merlin had accompanied him on patrol...

It's heartwarming, somehow - the repeated little gestures yet another proof that Merlin truly cared about him; hadn't sticked around simply because he believed he was supposed to. On the other hand, though, it feels... concerning. Being proven just how much and how regularly Merlin had used his magic without him noticing... Arthur cannot help but wonder:

"Did you ever use your magic *on me*, Merlin?"

Merlin seems to shrink on himself at the question; and so does Arthur's heart.

But then, Merlin stretches his hand towards his forehead - no hesitation, intent clear - and Arthur recognizes exactly what Merlin is willing to *give* (you truly cannot lie in your own head, right), and feels he shouldn't let this happen.

"Just tell me, Merlin. You don't have to show me."

And from Merlin sad but there smile, Arthur knows Merlin heard the 'I trust you' and 'I believe you' he meant.

Merlin takes a deep breath, and holds his gaze:

"I've used magic to cure you, several times."

Weel, that one was expected. Arthur knew he had made indeed some miraculous recoverings; so of course he had already figured out that at least a few, if not each and every one, must have been Merlin's work. He nods.

"Not necessarily mine," Merlin amends. "Gaius knew stuff, thankfully, because healing is... well... hard."

Merlin averts his eyes for a moment, and Arthur realizes how horrible it must be, to be Merlin. All that presumed power; and yet. Will. Himself. How many deaths Merlin feels guilty to have *failed* to prevent. Arthur knows that burden. And it is definitely not a burden he wished for anyone to have to bear. Arthur realizes something else too, suddenly. Dragoon. It was Merlin. Which means...

"Is that what happened; with my father? It didn't work?"

Merlin sighs.

"I tried; I swear I tried my best. I knew how much you didn't want to lose him."

And no matter how hard it should be to believe those words - knowing his father's position on anything even remotely magical - Arthur just cannot doubt Merlin's open face. And it is dumbfounding, honestly, to realize just *how much*, truly, Merlin cares about him.

"But I don't know if I would have succeed; even without Morgana's trick. I was able to save you only once on my own; and it was later on..."

"Morgana's trick?"

"There was an amulet. It reversed any magical attempt to cure your father; making him worse... I'm sorry, Arthur."

Arthur has to take a deep breath.

"It wasn't your doing." No matter that it technically was; Arthur just have to have Merlin hearing it.

Merlin's reaction at his words is going to tear his heart, so Arthur quickly redirects the conversation back to his original question.

"Anything else?"

Merlin takes another breath, more to shake himself out of it than to soldier on though this time.

"I had to knock you unconscious a few times; mostly to prevent you from doing things you definitely would regret later on while being enchanted by people who didn't meant well."

Well. That doesn't sound too bad either, right? Even though Arthur realizes how often indeed someone must have put a spell on him indeed? He had a long history of concussions ever since Merlin came into his service... Arthur nods once more.

"And once," Merlin looks at him, nothing but apologetic. "Once, I put a spell on you myself."

Arthur's breathing stops. Merlin pushes through quickly, obviously uncomfortable and ashamed about it.

"You were about to act foolly - and so I... I turned you into a fool, literally."

"What do you mean, literally?"

"You wouldn't leave Camelot. You were about to rush against Aggravaine and Morgana, a lost fight for sure. And just knocking you out would have hindered our escaping. It was easier if you willingly cooperate. So... I made you forget. Forget Camelot; forget you were its King; in order to get you out, to get you safe, until we could regroup and return to reclaim it."

"You made me... *forget*... *Camelot*?"

"Yes. You didn't know who you were anymore; for the next 24 hours or so... And I apologize. But I cannot regret it, Arthur. Your plan wasn't a plan, it was suicide."

Arthur can't help but feel troubled at the thought. Surely, this was crossing a line. And yet. Merlin could have easily kept silent about this after all. Any witness was long dead. But he came clean. And he knew it was wrong, obviously. That should count for something too, probably...

There is silence, for a long moment - Arthur thinking, and Merlin... seemingly waiting for his sentence. Maybe that's just what does it in the end; but Arthur finally nods, again.

"Is that it?"

"Yes?"

"Well, in that case, why don't you go on with removing my armour."

And judging by Merlin's enthusiasm to get to work, Arthur believes Merlin heard the 'It's fine' he meant. Not all right maybe; but fine all the same.