6. Gary

How had he ended up here? He hadn't meant for any of this to happen yet here he was, sat in a dingy office where he didn't belong, responsible for the deaths of two people.

It was very nearly three.

Rick's death he could almost justify, the world was a better place without him in it, and what options did he really have? He was certain he would have been killed if he hadn't taken drastic action to save himself. Rana's death was harder to defend. He hadn't meant for anyone to get hurt, he had acted out of desperation; sabotaging the roof was meant to force Carla's hand, give him the work and money he so desperately needed. He could never have imagined the chaos that would result. Why were Rana and the rest of them even in the factory that day? As far as he knew it was shut down, empty, how could he be held accountable when they shouldn't have been there in the first place? This fact helped him separate himself from what happened, to carry on with his life, such as it was now. He wasn't a murderer, it was an accident, owning up would not bring her back.

Then there was Carla. He had seen her a couple of times since she had been released from hospital, always from a distance, Peter a constant by her side. He was relieved to see her improving; he thought back to a few weeks ago, the state she was in, what her guilt had driven her to. In some ways it was this he found hardest to reconcile in his mind. He had chosen to stand back and watch her take the blame; going so far as to pressure her to keep his name out of it, and she had done so, shouldering the burden alone. From what he had heard since it was only down to Peter that she wasn't another corpse he was responsible for; in her confused state death had seemed like the best way out for her. He knew he could have stopped it from happening; he had watched her mental decline, made the choice to let her suffer rather than tell the truth. This he knew was inexcusable.

Was it all completely his fault though? Surely she must own some of the blame? He had warned Carla more than once how dangerous it was to disregard the roof issues; OK so he had exaggerated the seriousness at the time, but she wasn't to know that so her decision to ignore him was reckless, her guilt not completely misplaced. The roof would possibly have collapsed eventually without his intervention, and who was to say she would got it fixed it in time anyway. He worried about bumping into her, whether he would be able to keep up the act, make small talk like nothing had happened. In the back of his mind was a growing dread that she would remember him being in her hospital room, rooting through her things, looking for the phone holding the message that betrayed his guilt. She had spoken to him that day from her hospital bed, asked him why he was there, fear evident in her voice. He hadn't worried at first, after all who would believe the ramblings of a confirmed mad-woman. He had been ready to act surprised, laugh it off if Peter had asked about it. But now was different. She may not be completely better but she had control of her mind again; if she remembered and challenged him could he lie his way out of it? He wasn't so sure so decided to keep his distance, not give her the opportunity to ask.

Sarah seemed to be growing closer to Carla in recent days. Gary felt anger even considering this. After all Sarah was the reason for the actions that led them all here; his desperate attempts to salvage a relationship which he could now see was doomed all along. He couldn't bear to watch her playing happy families with Adam; if only she knew what he had sacrificed for her, he was sure that the jumped-up lawyer she had chosen over him would never show the same commitment. Maybe one day she would look back and understand that everything he did was for her. Probably not. One thing he was sure of was that he had to look after himself now. He had his sons to support, his life to rebuild, and this time he wasn't going to let anyone get in his way.