Of Megalodons and Camembert

31 December, 11:45pm [via Whatsapp]

TB:

Hi.

Happy New Year.

You're so pretty.

GM:

Troy

TB:

Yes?

GM:

What are you doing?

TB:

Um. Complimenting my girlfriend?

GM:

No, I got that. That's sweet.

TB:

Cool

GM:

I meant what are you doing Whatsapping me?

TB:

Ooh, italics. Very clever.

GM:

Troy

TB:

I know you've taught me how to do that, I keep forgetting how to…wait…

GM:

Troy

TB:

Got it.

GM:

Oh boy

TB:

Can't stop now

I'm on a roll

Now if I could just figure out the strikethrough option...

GM:

TROY

TB:

It's the holidays, Gabs! It's New Years!I just wanted to compliment the woman I love. If that's wrong, I don't want to be right.

GM:

Troy, you know I love you. I do. Madly.

TB:

Well good then.

Happy New Year to you.

GM:

Happy New Year.

In about fifteen minutes.

I just wondered why you were Whatsapping me now.

TB:

OK…

GM:

When we're both attending the same party.

TB:

Uhuh

GM:

At my brother's house

TB:

Yep

GM:

And we're in the same room

TB:

Got it. I see why you're confused.

GM:

Not confused so much as concerned that you're going to offend the people who think they're talking to you right now.

That's my nieces' paediatrician.

TB:

Which one? The guy currently showing us all holiday snaps from Saskatchewan?

GM:

No

TB:

The lady who thinks I'm called Roy?

GM:

No

TB:

The guy who sounds like Kermit the Frog?

GM:

HA. He does. But no. That's Diego's old boss

TB:

The dude who looks like Dick Van Dyke, then?

GM:

Yes

TB:

By the way, aren't you impressed that I spelt Saskatchewan right without spellchecking?

GM:

You're a genius

TB:

Thank you, thank you

GM:

Troy

TB:

Yes?

GM:

Do you want me to come and save you?

TB:

No, I'm fine. Saskatchewan is beautiful, you know. We should go.

GM:

OK then

TB:

Gabby.

Where are you going?

Gabby?

...

Where did you go?

What are you eating?

Is that camembert?

GM:

I found the cheese plate

TB:

There's a cheese plate?! Is there gouda? I love gouda.

GM:

Yes

And goat cheese

TB:

This changes everything.

GM:

You could come and join me, you know

I'm sure they wouldn't mind.

TB:

I'm OK. The guy who sounds like Kermit is telling us facts about the ocean. I'm learning about the Mariana Trench. Did you know that Everest would fit in it with a mile to spare?

GM:

Troy

I'm really not sure you should be doing this

TB:

Whatsapping my girlfriend?

GM:

When you're supposed to be in another conversation? No.

TB:

I'm not talking. I'm listening. Karl and Robert are discussing the likelihood of prehistoric life existing in the trench

GM:

Like dinosaurs?

TB:

Exactly. This is why I can't leave. It might turn out there are monsters that I'm going to need to protect you from.

Like Idris Elba in Pacific Rim

Anyway, I can type without looking at my phone, watch. I'm going to send you a message while staring, fascinated into Karl's lovely eyes.

GM:

Fire away

TB:

Gznntwo ll oyu nsttyme

Oh

GM:

Yes

TB:

That didn't go to plan

GM:

I gathered.

TB:

I'm going to try again

GM:

OK.

TB:

Maybe this time I'll stare into your lovely eyes.

Over Karl's lovely shoulder

GM:

Cool. Have at it.

TB:

Gabs.

GM:

Yes?

TB:

Will you marry me?

GM:

...

"Say it again."

Five minutes later, they were standing at the top of the porch steps, looking out over Diego and Milla's snowy garden.

"Hmm?" He kissed her temple and pulled his coat tighter around the both of them.

"Say it again."

"OK. So they think that the Megalodon shark may possib…"

"Say it again, or I'll change my mind."

He kissed her right ear. "You wouldn't do that."

She stepped on his toe. Hard. "I might."

"Because of the Whatsapp?" His smile faded just slightly.

She widened her eyes. "Oh, you think I might possibly have objected to being proposed to by iPhone?"

"Um…"

"While my boyfriend maintained, at the same time, a conversation about prehistoric sea monsters with my nieces' paediatrician and brother's ex-boss?"

"Er…"

"While, on the other side of the room, I had just taken a large mouthful of camembert and baguette..."

"Yeah, I didn't notice that until too late."

"...when you proposed and I inhaled very fast and had to be practically given the Heimlich by my sister-in-law's yoga teacher?"

He winced. "Now that you say it like that…"

She kissed him. "It's not because of the Whatsapp."

He looked unconvinced. "Really?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, that seemed pretty on-brand for us. No, I…just wanted you to say it again."

He exhaled, and brought a hand up to her cheek. She leant into it, her eyes fluttering closed. "How are your hands always so warm?"

"Warm heart. Now focus."

"OK."

"I've wanted to marry you since this time last year, G."

She opened her eyes. "This isn't what you said before…"

"I know. Shhh." He looked down at her, serious all of a sudden. "This is what I was going to say before…"

"Before?"

"Before you befuddled me with your great face and your wits and your love of a cheese plate. I had a whole speech planned for later and then all of sudden, there you were eating camembert and texting me from across the room and I forgot my plan and I just…said it."

She grinned. "You did, kinda."

"But I want you know that why it might have seemed like a spur of the moment decision, it wasn't. I've wanted to do this since pretty much this time last year."

Visions of floating snow and lebkuchen danced before her. "Really?"

He nodded. "Really. I love you, Gabs. So much. You're the kindest, loveliest, funniest thing that has ever happened to me, and I really can't think of anything I'd like more than to try my hardest to be the same for you." He paused. "For as long as we both shall live."

She blinked hard. Sniffed once. Smiled. "OK. That time was better."

"Wait!" He rummaged in his jacket pocket. "I'm doing this all wrong." He produced a small box from his inside pocket. "This is for you."

The ring was lovely and understated and strangely familiar. She frowned. "Is this…"

"Your Mom gave it to me over Thanksgiving. I think it was your great grandmother's."

"So you've spoken to my parents?"

"I told them over Thanksgiving that I was crazy about you and wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, and your Dad's exact words were 'I don't own her, so I'm not giving her away, but if you love her as much as I think she loves you, then I think we'll be fine'."

"Classic Dad."

She removed the ring from the box, and for a moment they looked at it. Then he placed his hands on her shoulders. "Marry me, Gabby. Please marry me."

"Troy, wait." She paused, listening, as the New Year's countdown sounded from inside the house. Neither of them said anything, but as midnight struck, and the fireworks exploded over the snowy town, he noticed that she was wearing the ring. "Yes." She pulled him close by the collar of his coat, took his face in her hands and kissed him. "Yes please."

THE END

Guys, it's been a little while. So hey. I've not written anything for a while, but it's my sister's birthday today, and I decided that what the world was really missing was the story of how, within the Good Morning Albuquerque universe (the GMAU, if you will) Troy and Gabby got engaged. Happy birthday, Mo; you're the bestest. Jazz squares and lebkuchen for you.