AN: ok uhhhh don't hate me for like 6k words worth of angst lmaoooo enjoy

thank you aoife for this gem i'm glad i could turn it ointo another chapter of this au bc i love it so much uwu

"Please don't walk out of that door." / "It's cold, you should take my jacket."

"Roy?" Riza asked, her voice small and defeated. He faltered, stopping in front of the door of the apartment. He cursed himself internally, eyes closing as he fought off the rising tears. It hurt to swallow around the lump in his throat.

Things had all been going so well recently. When had it reached this point?

Looking back Roy couldn't even pinpoint where it had all gone wrong. It had obviously happened slowly, but he had been oblivious to it. Ignorance is bliss, as they say, and it had been fucking bliss. Roy had been so happy he'd been turned blind.

Had he all imagined it? The holidays, the date nights, the time they spent together intimately… Had Roy thought it was so much more than it was?

Apparently, he had.

"Please don't walk out that door," Riza choked out.

That's when the anger made itself known.

Here she was, begging him to stop, when she had been the one who'd initiated this, not him. She didn't get to turn the blame on him. No fucking way.

Roy whirled around, eyes shining, only to come face to face with her desolate self. But he was too angry to care. He had given five years, his whole self – heart, body, and soul – to her, and Roy had gotten paid in dirt.

"I'm going home."

"This is your home," she stressed.

"Not with you in it. Not now."

It hurt to say. Riza winced as he said it.

But it was the truth.

"Please –"

"Don't ask me to stay," he spat out. "You've made your feelings known. Don't be selfish."

"I only want to explain –"

"Explain what, exactly?" he rounded on her. "That this was all a sham? That you're now terrified because this was getting out of hand and now you've been caught?" Roy ran his hands through his hair. He was throwing baseless accusations in her face, but his mind was running a mile a minute after his heart had been crushed under the heel of Riza's shoe. He was desperately trying to pinpoint where he'd failed to notice what was going on, but there was nothing.

They'd been happy… Hadn't they?

"I'm leaving."

"Roy, wait –"

"No."

Without another word he closed the apartment door. The slam resonated throughout the entire hallway. Keeping his eyes on the carpet so he wouldn't see her old apartment door. It just reminded him of how far they had both come in the last five years.

And it had all been for nought.

When walking down the stairs – his feet landing heavily with every step – he dialled Rebecca's number on his phone.

"Roy!" Rebecca greeted cheerily. "So, how's the infamous date night going?" She laughed. "That bad you needed to call me?" she asked, joking.

"Riza's in our apartment," he stated, numb.

"Roy?"

"She – She needs someone right now. Can you go and see her?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line before Catalina spoke.

"What did you do?" she asked fiercely.

Roy laughed to himself, but the sound was flat, dead.

"Love her unconditionally."

Riza sat on the couch in Roy's apartment – it was back to his now, not theirs – completely numb.

It was his because she'd screwed it all up.

Someone banged on the door loudly. The following creaked stopped the pounding as the door swung open. She hadn't closed the apartment door properly in her daze.

"Riza?" a worried voice called.

Oh, shit. Rebecca.

"What happened?" Rebecca asked fiercely, seeing Riza's current state. She seemed set on the warpath, no doubt to kick Roy's ass, but he'd done nothing wrong.

He'd done nothing but love her and look where that had gotten him.

"Riza?" she asked, giving her shoulders a squeeze to try and drag her back to the present. "Roy called saying you needed someone right now. What happened?"

Her head snapped up at that. He had called Rebecca… To come and look after her…

Riza burst into tears.

Roy slammed down the shot glass on the table miserably.

"Oh, Roy boy," Chris sighed, as if to say, "what am I going to do with you?". "I'm sorry, kid."

"So am I," he replied gruffly. Sorry he had wasted his time.

Chris wordlessly offered him another drink. This was a dangerous game but if his foster mother was offering them on the house then he wasn't going to say no.

"I've lost her, Chris," he warbled, unable to hold back any longer. "I've lost her, and I don't know how to get her back."

Chris voice was soft, and dread pooled in his stomach because that never happened.

This really was it.

"Then maybe you aren't meant to. Maybe not in this case. Not if she doesn't want it." It wasn't what he wanted to hear, but it was the truth. He wouldn't force her into marriage, into having kids. He wasn't a monster.

He wished he could take back that stupid joke about marriage and then the following question asking her opinion on it.

"What would you say if I asked you to marry me right now?" he had grinned, half joking, half truly interested in her response.

Instead he received a punch in the gut.

Riza had looked panicked, face stricken. "No," she had said.

His head hit the top of the bar with a dull thud.

"You...! You!" Rebecca stuttered, her anger boiling underneath her skin. She had every right to be angry. Riza had hurt one of her closest friends in such a horrible way that whatever onslaught was coming Riza's way, she would accept it wholeheartedly because it was what she deserved.

"Don't hold back, Rebecca," Riza interjected, tone monotonous. "You never have before."

"You are a moron," she stated, slapping a hand to her forehead. "How could you do that to him."

"I'm a bad person," Riza replied, shrugging her shoulders.

"Don't you dare act so nonchalant about this," Rebecca spat. But Riza couldn't help it. She had shut down, so lost in her grief, that her emotions were unable to pierce through that gate. Her whole life she had found it difficult to be open about her emotions. Roy had been –

Her breath caught in her throat, a shudder running through her entire body as she took a gasping breath.

Roy had been the one to help with that. His love, laughter, care, and joy had helped Riza draw her feelings out from deep within herself. For the first time in a relationship she had truly felt happy with her partner and it was all because of Roy. Not only was he her lover, but her best friend, and she couldn't picture a future – or a life – without him in it, even now.

Why did she have to panic? Seize up? Deny him – deny them both – the one thing that would make them both the happiest people on the planet?

She just thought back to Dan and her previous relationships and how they'd all been tyre fires. She'd been hurt so many times in every case that when Roy offered her the next step, she turned it down. It was only because it was so huge, she feared being hurt on such a grand scale. Because, in her mind, Roy would hurt her like every other relationship she had shared. Her father, her previous boyfriends… They had all hurt her, scarred her. Roy would be no different.

So, when he asked her to marry him, she turned him down because she panicked. She didn't want to be hurt when she'd already committed herself to him for life. It would only hurt even more. Doing it now was a kindness to herself.

That's what Riza told herself.

Coward. Liar. A sham.

She had panicked, pure a simple. These were just excuses she was using to try and justify it.

Because that was the thing though, wasn't it? Roy was nothing like those other men in her life. He had shown her nothing but love and support, even when they were friends. There was no guarantee he would hurt her. Riza, subconsciously, knew for a fact that he wouldn't.

But she was scared.

Even after everything with Dan, he'd been nothing but understanding and concerned for her welfare. He never pushed her into anything. He offered her shelter in her time of need. Their relationship was just a happy accident – one she had accepted wholeheartedly because Roy Mustang was, and always had been, a huge source of comfort in her life. He was warmth, safety, joy.

So why had she burned that to ash?

"What do you want me to say?" Riza whispered.

"Do you know just how much he changed for you?" Rebecca demanded.

Riza's eyes lazily found hers. "I never asked him to –"

"Oh no, I know you never. He was an asshole before he met you. A friend, but an asshole. He slept around, had a really poor attitude towards life and other people, but all that changed when you popped up. It was like he was trying to impress you. And when I saw it was more than just that, that's when I knew."

"Rebecca –" Riza whispered, desperate for her to stop. Tears were already falling freely down her face.

"I knew the minute he met you that he liked you. Watching that grow into love was a wonderful thing, because I knew it was genuine. He would always get so broken up when you were with other men. I told him time and time again to ask you out, but do you know what he told me?"

Riza shook her head, face crumpling as her head bowed, shoulder hunching, back rounding as she gasped for breath. Her body was curling in on itself, a natural reaction to the pain throbbing in her chest. "Rebecca, please."

"He told me he didn't think he was good enough for you." The following silence allowed those words to ring in Riza's head painfully. She gasped as she sobbed, but Rebecca didn't let up, even when her own voice wobbled. "He told me he didn't want to fuck up what you both shared already because you meant so much to him."

"Stop –"

"When Dan showed up Roy knew there was something fishy about him. He found out about some of the weird behaviour and I watched him almost worry himself into an early grave as he paced in Havoc's and I's living room, waiting for a reply from you to say you were home, safe.

"He never said anything because he didn't want you to think he was jealous – he absolutely was – and was out to ruin your relationships. He respected you and your choice. He was your best friend, Riza," Rebecca finally finished, reminding her painfully.

"Please."

"You don't get to ask me to stop," Rebecca whispered, her own voice thick with emotion. "Because you've hurt that poor man. He gave you everything. And at the first sign of moving forward you back out."

"Rebecca, stop!" she cried, her sobs filling the apartment. They wracked her body harshly, her form shaking uncontrollably.

"No." Riza's eyes popped open, coming face to face with her knees.

No more, please.

But it was what she deserved.

"I know," Riza sniffed. "I deserve all of this. But please, don't. I already… I…"

"I know," she murmured but offered her no further comfort.

"I – I don't know why you're still here."

"Because you're my friend." A pair of arms circled around Riza and she whimpered, unable to stop herself from leaning into Rebecca's comfort. "You're my friend, I love you, but Roy is my friend too."

"I know," Riza whispered.

"I don't approve of what you did, and I'm quite angry about it, however everyone needs somebody. I won't abandon you, especially when I can see how broken up you are."

"I've lost him," she sobbed.

"So, what the fuck are you doing sitting here?"

"I… I can't –"

"You can," Rebecca stressed, giving her shoulders a squeeze. "You love that man and you've been with him for over five years. You most certainly can because you owe him that much."

Riza buried her face in one of her hands as best she could, her limbs partially trapped by Rebecca's embrace.

She was a fucking coward. No wonder she'd never had a successful relationship before – disregarding the fact that she sure knew how to pick all the weirdos. She was a scared child masquerading as a woman.

A child who was so scared of getting hurt she pushed away everyone who ever got close to her because she "knew" they would leave or hurt her eventually. It was a defence mechanism, nothing more.

Why did she have to be like that?

Roy didn't deserve that.

"Where is he?" a quiet voice pleased in the room behind him.

He froze in his chair, eyes stuck on the amber liquid in his shot glass. Slightly terrified, he lifted his eyes to his aunt, whose eyes were on the door. Her expression was sour as she sucked on her teeth in disapproval. Without a word she rounded the bar and approached Vanessa.

"Sorry," Vanessa replied coolly. "But –"

"I'll take it from here, Vanessa," his aunt stated.

"Of course, Madame."

Roy heard nothing more for a while, but Vanessa squeezed his shoulder and offered him a small smile as she walked through the back of the bar.

"Riza," Chris greeted. Her tone could match the temperature of ice.

"Where is he?" Riza repeated. "I need to –"

"You don't need to do anything," Chris replied. "I think you've done enough."

Roy closed his eyes. He didn't want to deal with this right now. He wanted to be left alone. However, if he dealt with this conversation now, it would be over with, and he could continue to wallow in his grief in peace.

"Chris." He announced his presence quietly, but it was enough. He almost gasped when he saw the state of Riza. Her hair was sticking up haphazardly in place and looked wet. She was shivering, wearing nothing but the t-shirt and jeans she had been wearing when Roy left her. Had she walked all the way here like that?

His suspicions were cleared when he saw a car parked outside the door, Rebecca looking upon their conversation from within. She nodded at Roy once before indicating to pull away onto the street. It was against the law to park right outside the door, so she had to drive away to find somewhere to park while she waited.

"What do you want?" he asked, hollow, once Chris had left them to enter the back room. Roy escorted Riza into the empty bar front.

"I'm sorry." The sound of her voice matched his. He offered her nothing, simply waiting for her to say her piece and then go. "Can… Can you say something?" she begged to his silence. "Please?"

"What more do you want from me, Riza?" Roy asked tiredly. "Please, tell me, because I'm struggling here. I gave you everything, and you want nothing more."

"I know you did," she sniffed, wiping away a tear. "I don't want anything else. I –"

"Well then, why are you here?" he asked, his frustration finally showing. He had misunderstood her, but Roy was unaware of it. He never even gave her a chance to correct herself, but then again, Riza never tried to amend herself. "Haven't you don't enough already? Your feelings were made clear. Why drag this out for longer than necessary?"

Silence filled the bar. The door to the back room opened slowly and Chris stood in the doorway, a reminder that Riza better not toy with his emotions anymore, and certainly not in here.

"That's fine," she whispered, defeated. There was a certainty to her tone that Roy really didn't want to hear, but there was no future for them now. Not after she declined his offer of marriage. He wanted it, he wanted to start a family, but Riza didn't.

And Roy didn't want to do it with anyone else. He wanted to do it with her.

That image of the house in the suburbs, the picket fence, the children and dogs running around the garden shattered like his heart, the dust of both their remains settling uncomfortably in his stomach.

It was time they split.

Five years wasted. Just like that.

Roy closed his eyes briefly as a tear escaped.

"I'll go," she whispered.

It was like a dagger in his chest.

"Yes, I think you should."

When the door opened, he noticed the relentless pounding of the rain. He would have laughed if he wasn't so upset at the appropriate weather for tonight. He also noticed that Riza was stepping outside into the winter wind howling outside wearing nothing but a t-shirt.

"Riza," he called back, cursing himself. Because despite her not wanting to be with him, Roy still loved her with his whole heart and would hate to see her suffering. "It's cold outside," he muttered. He lifted his jacket off the peg by the door, handing it to her with sad eyes. "You should take my jacket."

His aunt sniffed in disapproval behind him. Riza's eyes flicked over at the sound, face stricken when she saw the look on his adoptive mother's face, which Roy didn't doubt looked like the thunder raging above them outside.

"Thank you," she whispered. He draped it over her shoulders, telling himself this was the last thing he would do for her.

But what was the point in lying to himself?

He'd give her the moon, still, if she asked for it.

"That will fade with time," Chris told him once he took up his place at the bar again.

"I wouldn't be so sure," he smiled sadly. Before it could wobble and fall off his face, Roy lifted his glass and took another shot, the burn replacing the one in his chest.

She had tried.

Riza had tried to explain herself, and rightly so, Roy turned her down. He didn't want to get hurt again.

Oh, Riza knew all about that.

That was what this whole dumb situation she had created was based on, wasn't it?

Rebecca dropped her off then returned home after Riza convinced her she would be fine.

But Riza would never be fine again.

In her fear of getting hurt she had harmed the one person she had ever been in love with. The one person she never wanted to.

The walls closed in on her, suffocating her.

She couldn't stay here anymore. She needed out. This was where it had all happened. The first time they slept together, their mornings spent quietly enjoying breakfast and reading the paper, their evenings spent curled on the couch in each other's arms, watching television.

A pain tore through her chest. It was so painful she doubled over, gasping as tears fell down her face. This was Roy's apartment. She didn't need to taint his life anymore than she already had.

Riza didn't deserve Roy Mustang, and she supposed she never had.

She closed the apartment door, locked it, and fled the building.

"Can I talk to Riza?" Roy asked tiredly. He hadn't slept at all the night before. Or the night before that. He knew Riza probably wouldn't have wanted to stay in his apartment any longer, and Catalina drove her home the night before, so Roy knew she must be at Catalina's apartment instead.

Havoc and Catalina shared a look. "We… We don't know where she is."

Confused, Roy squinted up at them both, seeing the worry on their faces. "What do you mean, you don't know?"

"Roy, she's not picking up her phone. We've tried the apartment. The door's locked and there's no answer."

"What?" His head pounded, matching the raging beat of his heart. "Wh – What?" he repeated.

Catalina let her true emotions show for the first time since Roy showed up at her door. She looked worried. Really worried. Dread pooled in her stomach, clenching it tightly. He fought off the urge to vomit.

"We've been searching, all day yesterday and all morning," Catalina replied, her desperation shining through. "Roy, I don't know what to do. She's nowhere to be found." Havoc wrapped an arm around her shoulders in comfort.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, outraged.

"We phoned the bar, but your Aunt declined to comment."

Roy felt anger flash through him. He understood Chris was looking out for him, but this was serious. Then again, she might not have known Riza was missing.

Roy almost choked as he thought of the word.

"We've tried everywhere," Havoc cut in, sensing his wife was unable to carry on any longer. "Hughes', her work, your aunt's house, everywhere. The boys helped too – Breda and Falman searched the city but came up with nothing. Fuery looked in public buildings like the library and the museum, but nothing. Do you… Do you know anywhere she might go?"

No, he didn't. Shy of where Havoc had already mentioned, their home, the Hughes', and Catalina's, Roy wasn't sure where else she would flee to in a moment like this.

There was one place…

It was a long shot, but maybe, just maybe…

"There's one place," he began slowly, wondering is he should let them know. It had been told to him in confidence and it had been such a sacred moment to Riza, he didn't know if her best friends already knew about it.

East, in her hometown. She might be there. Riza did say the old house was still standing and she held the deed to it but hadn't been able to return there after her father died. Her mother's grave was out there, and Roy remembered Riza telling him how she would seek out the grave to talk to her mother when things became too much with her father in the house.

Maybe…

"Out east," Roy stated, gauging their reactions. Understanding dawned on them and both shared a look. They had an inkling of what he was talking about, which was good. He wouldn't have to explain it all.

Especially when there was already no time.

Riza shivered on the cold ground, the winter wind whipping around her body as she sat on the stone path before her mother's grave. This was the second day she had spent here. There was something comforting about being in a graveyard when she had turned her world to hell.

The hotel in town was cheap and would do until she could find a place of her own. At least out here no one would find her. An exiling of her own choice. Well, Roy might, if he remembered. Riza hoped he wouldn't but hoped he would at the same time.

She'd spent all day yesterday sitting here just talking to her mother. There was a comfort in it, Riza thought. One of the people who'd meant the most to Riza brought her comfort in her time of need. It was a shame that she was no longer in the land of the living and the only person she wanted to comfort her no longer wanted anything to do with her.

Roy's jacket brought her some warmth, but every time she shifted his scent shrouded her, bringing forth a fresh seat of tears. By this point she should be fresh out, but sure enough, they fell as she begun to speak.

"I've lost him, Mum," Riza whispered to the cold stone. "I did it. I told him I didn't want to marry him, but I do, I really do. I'm just so scared because everyone in life has left me. My brain is convinced this will be no different. I panicked."

"Oh, Riza…"

Her back stiffened as Roy whispered her name from behind her.

No.

Anyone but him.

She stood silently, resigned to the upcoming conversation. The world was silent around them, save for the howling winter wind. She shivered. May as well get it over and done with.

Because she only wanted him.

"Riza," Roy breathed, gathering her in his arms tightly. Riza froze, blinking in surprise. What? He kissed the top of her head and Riza simply stood there, stunned. "You're all right." He adjusted her grip, hugging her against him even tighter. "Here, take my jacket, you're freezing."

Still in shock, Riza simply stood as Roy wrapped her in his jacket like a doll. Of course, that left him in just a hoodie. Instantly she was surrounded in more of his scent and warmth which kicked her brain into gear. Before she could react, she was pulled into his embrace once more. Riza felt the tears well in her eyes.

"I thought we'd lost you," he whispered.

You already did, thanks to me.

She pulled away and Roy looked surprised, his outstretched arms falling limp at his sides. His face questioned her, silently asking her why?

"Why are you here?" she asked, voice holding that same monotonous quality since the last time he'd seen her.

"Riza… You went missing. What were you thinking?" he asked, his frustration creeping into his tone.

Good. Anger is good. You can work with that.

"I'm surprised anyone cared."

Roy's eyes flashed but Riza missed it, unable to meet them.

"What are you doing, Riza? Are you insane?"

"I'm trying to get on with my life. You made it clear you wanted us to."

"Not by disappearing off the face of the earth with no explanation, no note to say where you've gone," he replied angrily. "I get it if you don't want me to know, but Catalina? Havoc? Hughes? Do they not deserve to know?" he spat, angry that she had worried their friends so. "They had nothing to do with this, so cut the shit."

"Don't give me that," she fired back. "You made perfectly clear you wanted to move on so I came out here to give you that chance."

"By staying in a cheap hotel? With no cash? No clothes? No concern for those you left behind?" he snarled.

He was right to be angry about that. Her fight or flight response had kicked in. She fought when she went to his aunt's place to see him. She fought to try and explain herself, but that had failed. She was a failure who couldn't even keep one person close to her. Catalina, Havoc, and the rest were her friends, of course they were, but there was always the element of keeping them at arm's length. Just in case.

Her flight response kicked in when she arrived back in their – Roy's – apartment. She had to escape and get away. Mostly to try and escape the pain, but also because she knew she had fucked up big time and wanted to flee from the responsibility of dealing with it. Growing up had been lonely so she'd never had to deal with conflict, had never learned of a healthy way to deal with it. Disappearing off the face of the Earth seemed like a good idea because then no one back home would have to deal with her and her shit anymore.

"The only reason I wanted to get on with my life," Roy shouted. "Was because you turned me down, Riza, not the other way around. Don't you fucking dare try to blame this on me!"

"I only did it because I know you're the same as all of them," she spat, being incredibly unfair. She just needed him to leave. He deserved better than anything Riza could give him. She was protecting him, she told herself.

"And how is that?"

"Because you will just leave like the rest of them." Her voice was as cold as her expression.

She watched as he barked a laugh of disbelief, feeling doubt creep into her mind.

"Do you honestly think I would do that to you?" He laughed again, but there was nothing funny. He raked a hand through his hair. "I fucking asked you to marry me, Riza," he hissed. "Why would I leave you after doing that?"

"Because everyone else has!" she yelled back, finally letting out all her fears. "Every single person in my life has turned against me and I'm just waiting for the rest of you to do the same," she raged, the tears falling thick and fast now. This was revealing too much. Too much to Roy, and too much to herself. She didn't want to admit it because if she did, she might crack. "I'm so unable to be loved by anyone that it was only a matter of time before it happened. Every day," she choked out. "Every day I live with the fear that something will go wrong. I've been complacent recently, but it's still there. I'm trying to protect you –"

"By pushing me away like this?" he interrupted, unable to believe what he was hearing. Riza knew it would sound ridiculous but that was only because they didn't understand. None of them did.

"Yes!" She was breathing heavily, they both were, too angry to continue their conversation. Riza begun to storm off but was stopped by a hand on her wrist.

"What do you think –?"

She was crushed in Roy's arms.

Riza fought him, pushing and hitting his chest to get out of his hold, but she couldn't do it well enough. Her arms were trapped in between their bodies so she could barely move. Her tears continued to fall as she snarled at him, but eventually that anger just turned to sobs. They were loud, so loud. It filled the air in the cemetery as Riza finally let go of all the emotions she had pent up her whole life. She wailed as she clung to the only man who had loved her. Her body crumpled, knees buckling, but Roy held her up. He loved her enough to seek her out when he thought she was missing despite the fact she'd turned down his marriage proposal. She'd hurt him unimaginably and he still worried and looked for her. Still fought for them even though Riza had turned them into a lost cause.

"I – I panicked," she sobbed, body shaking against him. The wind threatened to steal her words, but Roy pulled her tighter against him. "I panicked because no one has ever loved me like you have. Everyone has left me. My mother, my father, even my grandfather twenty years ago. All gone.

"Then Dan did – he did that. And all the others before lost interest," she whispered, the last sentence finally shattering her heart as she admitted to herself how she really felt.

The wind was the only sound in the cemetery as Roy held her and Riza cried.

"I love you," he replied fiercely. His voice wobbled and Riza felt his tears hit the top of her head. "Rebecca loves you. Havoc loves you. The whole Hughes family, the boys, they all do, Riza." She cried harder. "Don't push us away. You don't think you're good enough for me, but you are the best person for me." She sniffled, shaking her head in disagreement. Her face rubbed against his chest and she cringed when she thought she'd probably gotten snot all over it.

What a nice parting gift.

"Before I met you," Roy began, dropping all the anger from his voice. "I was an asshole. I didn't treat those around me as well as I should have. Chris was pissed because she didn't raise such a disrespectful person, and she was right, she didn't, but for some reason I couldn't be bothered by it. After my parents died everything didn't mean much anymore.

"Then you came in." Riza closed her eyes tightly, trying to calm herself down but it wasn't working. So, she clung to him as he spun his tale. "They died about six months before I met you. Those six months were awful, then I met you and we became friends very quickly. I saw you and thought "wow, she is really beautiful". But there was no way you would date someone like me," he chuckled. "I was like a frat boy trapped in an grown ass man's body but when I spent time with you I didn't want to be that person anymore, so I bucked up my ideas and strived to be better, just in case there was a chance. I never dreamed there would be," he chuckled.

"Other guys came and went, and I was happy for you. I wasn't happy when they broke up with you, but there wasn't much I could do. It hurt like hell to watch you suffer through every break up but I kept my distance."

But he hadn't though. Riza remembered now, thinking back. After every single break up, Roy had been there first to comfort her. He'd sat as sometimes she cried – holding her tight – and he'd laughed with her as she said good riddance, raising a toast with her and the rest of their friends.

He'd never left.

Roy chuckled to himself. "Remember Steve?" Riza nodded, mute. She held her breath in anticipation for what he was going to say. "I saw red when Rebecca told me what had happened." He had hit Riza. Just the once. They'd been dating for about eight months and there had been no other incident of abuse. He'd been really drunk, and they'd been arguing. "The next thing I knew I was at his door ready to beat him to a bloody pulp."

"Why?" was all she asked.

"Because I've loved you for years, Riza, and have been in love with you for about the same amount of time. You deserved the world, but you never got it. So, I vowed to better myself in case my time came so I could give it to you. Doing it as a friend wasn't enough – I wanted to do more – but if that was all I could get, that's what I would take."

New tears fell, her quiet sobs all she could hear.

"Let it all out, Riza. I've got you and I'm not going anywhere. I get your scared, but I swear on my life that I'm not going to leave you. Unless, of course, you ask me to." Barely a second later she shook her head vigorously. "All right then." Riza felt his chest deflate under her head and her hands as he quietly let out a sigh of relief. "Just… let it all out. Let go. I've got you."

And so, she did.

Roy never left or pushed here away, just like he said.

"Hey, I found her."

Riza sat numb in his car as he called their friends.

"She's… She needs some time, and some space." Even Riza didn't know how to answer that question, yet Roy articulated it correctly. He always could tell how she was feeling. "I'm going to take her home."

Once home Riza felt herself stiffen as they approached their apartment door.

"Here, sit down." Roy ushered her onto the couch. She followed his order, feeling ashamed of herself and her actions, and embarrassed. "I'll get you a glass of water."

It appeared in front of her and Riza stared as the air bubbles popped on the surface, unable to bring herself from reaching forward and quench her thirst.

On this very couch was where she had lied and turned down his proposal.

Roy wrapped his arm around her shoulders, drawing her body close to his as they lay there in silence. Riza placed a hand under her head, fingers splaying across his chest.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"Riza, it's okay." His hand rubbed up and down her upper arm before finally settling on her shoulder to give it a squeeze. "You don't need to –"

He was still making excuses for her.

"No," she whispered. "I do. I'm so sorry. You deserve more."

"I deserve you," he countered. "If you will let me."

"I shouldn't," she whispered. "I hurt you."

"Because you were scared. You lashed out. Now I finally understand – and knowing your past – I can see how you came to that conclusion. Everyone you've gotten close to in life has hurt you, except your current friends. I understand your apprehension."

"I shouldn't have. I should've been smarter about it –"

"Riza," Roy stated, suddenly sounding very exhausted. "We could be at this all day. I forgive you, okay?" She froze. "I really do. I just want you to be happy. I want to make you happy. I'm fine with putting this behind us because I don't want to upset you even more. I understand why you did what you did, and I will make it my life's mission to prevent it from happening again."

"But it wasn't your fault though, it was mine," she whispered fearfully.

"I know," he nodded. "But the point still stands. I aim to make sure you never feel like this again. Ever. I promise that to you."

What did she ever do to deserve him?

Another tear escaped her but, like Roy, she was tired of all this.

"Get some rest," Roy murmured, kissing the top of her head and shifting on the couch to find a more comfortable position. "I'll be right here when you wake up."

Riza nodded and buried her face into him, closing her eyes to finally rest.

Butterflies fluttered in Riza's stomach as she walked. Too many people were looking at her. She'd never been one to appreciate or want all the attention in the room focussed on her. When she told Rebecca, her friend had scoffed.

"Well, get used to it," she'd stated, fluffing up Riza's hair at the back so it sat nicer. "It's your wedding day and you look stunning. People are going to stare."

However, her eyes focussed on the back of Roy's head as she and Havoc walked down the aisle and a calm washed over her. Once at the front of the procession – Rebecca, Gracia Hughes, and little Elicia watching her with smiles on their faces, the two former bridesmaids with tears in their eyes – Havoc kissed her cheek and took up his place at Roy's right as one of the groomsmen.

Roy turned to face her eagerly, a silly grin on his face. Riza matched his smile as their hands entwined. He was unable to take his eyes off her and Riza felt the same way. He was incredibly handsome in his suit with his hair slicked back. A few stray strands had fallen forward over his forehead and she itched to brush them away.

The man before them begun to welcome the party to the wedding but Riza never heard a word.

Roy gave her the brightest smile and gave her hand a squeeze. His expression silently asked her one thing.

Ready?

Riza nodded, resisting the urge to lean over and kiss him then because it wouldn't be proper in the ceremony. The next best thing was a nod and quick squeeze of his hand.

Of course.

and fin... for now?