Chapter One: Don't Leave

It was taking time. More than to anyone else who would have faced setbacks on the road. This was something else. It ruffled the hairs on the skin and disturbed the mind. It gave impotence, too, because there was no reasonable way to solve the unknown.

They should be here, Louis thought, made a mess in the school's watchtower. He was running his hands compulsively. He waited, but nothing changed. Not a noise. Not a signal. Easy, Louis. It's Clem. She is a survivor. Also, it's with AJ. If you came back, she will too.

Denial or comfort, it helped him not to run away aimlessly. Aasim had already warned him not to try anything stupid, that getting into the vegetation would only make it worse. However, something did not leave him alone. He had a bad feeling. Precisely because it was Clementine he couldn't believe that she still hadn't step on Ericson. It had been over an hour since their last sighting and nothing.

It was supposed that she would arrive before me.

With that thought his gait stopped suddenly. He fixed his eyes on the space outside the walls and was convinced.

Something is wrong. I need to leave.

The determination gave him the courage he needed to get off the guard post and arm himself with the first thing he had at hand. The raiders had stayed with Chairles, but he had to figure it out. He had to borrow one of Omar's knives. He would be very angry, but he would deal with it.

He was about to announce that he was leaving when Aasim discovered him getting ready.

—Dude, what are you doing? —he asked in a voice of disbelief. He obviously knew what Louis was up to, but he couldn't believe what he saw.

—I have to go. I must find them. —Louis answered while he was saving his weapon.

—Louis, you're crazy. That area is full of walkers. You barely escaped. Also, you don't even know where they are.

—I'll take the risk. I can't stay here anymore. They can't be too far.

—Bullshit, they could be anywhere. If anything happens to you on the road, we have no way of knowing and we won't be able to help you. Do you understand what I'm saying? Does it enter your head? You would only increase the tragedy with your death. Do you think Clementine would like you to expose your life like that?

—Clem risked her life to save us all the fucking ass. Yours too. And I'm not just talking about what happened on the ship. She fed us, she taught us to defend our home. You would do the same for Ruby, wouldn't you?

Aasim remained silent. He couldn't argue with that without encouraging him even more to venture into the forest.

The young pianist no longer delayed the time and headed towards the entrance, opening the gates without looking back. As the last chance Aasim saw of preventing Louis from exposing his life again, he asked the awkward question that no one dared to ask.

—What if they are dead? I know it's horrible to think about it, but we can't leave that option out. Clementine is not invincible, Louis. You yourself said how much Minerva's attack affected her. Such a wound can make the difference between life and death. —He said more and more insistently. In spite of how unbearable the personality of his partner was, he was affectionate and cared for him.

That question marked something on Louis' face. An expression of pain, as if something had stabbed him. The sad image of the lifeless body of the girl he loved, embraced, probably, by whom she had raised as his son, passed through his mind. Faithful reflection of the tragedy. And for those who stayed, it would symbolize despair.

It wouldn't happen. If there was a minimal possibility of doing something to ensure the return of his family, he had to fight it.

—If I don't find out, I will not be able to carry with it the rest of my life.

Realizing that he was doing more harm by keeping him than letting him go, Aasim just wished Louis the best of luck, and saw him leave after the creaking of the gates

The sun was approaching the top of the sky with the rush of a message with bad news. He was aware of the time he was against if he wanted to find them alive. Every minute without signs was a fatality. That is why he hastened his step as far as he could, trying to return to the place where he had last seen them. The positive thing about the day is that he could see the walkers better. He got rid of a few on the way, but he had to dodge most of them. Aasim, for a change, was right: it was infested with those monsters. It was quite possible that Clementine and AJ had been forced to take refuge, but where?

Suddenly, a strange color brought his attention to the grass he stepped on. It was blood. And by the look, it wasn't the rotten liquid that the injured walkers usually dragged. Louis felt his heart stop for a moment. He had terrible suspicions to check. Hearing his own breathing stir, he leaned toward the grass and touched the blood with two of his fingers.

It was lukewarm.

—No ... —he whispered alarmed. He shook his head several times, trying not to block himself. Clementine could be dead. He was just assimilating the possibility. He wanted to give up, send everything to hell.

I wouldn't have asked you to come with me if I didn't believe in you.

Clementine's words touch his emotions again. He couldn't give in, for her. He had to focus. He forced himself to look at the vestige again. That blood hadn't dripped; it felt long, as if it had been dragged. He followed the trail with his eyes, checking that the color reached a short distance away, until it disappeared. He was intrigued. His only indication reached there.

He started to turn around, looking for any detail he might have missed. Nothing. The trees around him began to writhe on him. All roads were the same. He wondered which of them would guide him to her, whether she was alive or dead. Or maybe a lost point in the middle.

He had to make a bet on his only clue.

—Clementine! —He called desperately, because although he couldn't say that she was alive, everything inside him indicated that hope was latent.

After that scream, there was only silence. A prolonged silence as he struggled in vain against a hope that turned her back when he needed it most. Enraged, he hit the ground with his foot, in a blatant gesture of spite.

—Help ... —the murmur of a weak voice was heard. Louis recognized it immediately.

—AJ? AJ, where are you?! —The young man asked, searching for the source of the faint cry for help. In the middle of the vegetation, it could be anywhere. Then, he heard the clink of bushes in the distance. It was the signal he had been waiting for—. I'm going. Don't move.

So he was making his way through the greenness alarmed by two things: he didn't hear Clementine, and how tired AJ sounded. As soon as he found them, the horrifying panorama hit him. The first thing he could see was that both AJ and Clementine were together, bathed in walkers guts, and in a deplorable state. Then his eyes went directly to something impossible to ignore: One of Clementine's legs was gone; it had been amputated below the knee.

—What the fuck is this?! —Louis asked, running to Clementine's side. He lifted her upper trunk slightly between his arms and examined her hastily. She was unconscious and pale, more than she had ever seen. Her amputated leg was wrapped in blood-soaked cloth, tied with a rope. That explained why the trail he had found didn't reach far.

—I had to do it. The... they bit her. —AJ explained, on the verge of tears. Louis felt ice pouring into his veins, and air drying in his throat. Paralyzed, from head to toe—. She told me to kill her and to go back to school alone, but I didn't listen to her and I cut her leg. Luckily she fainted. I had to try to save her. I could barely get her out of there. I had no choice but to drag her. She's alive, but she doesn't look good and I have no strength left... I can't keep carrying...

There, Louis fully assessed the seriousness of the matter. Not only they had been on the verge of death, but they were still walking the tightrope. AJ had made a call that, he bet, most wouldn't have dared to take. He had done everything by himself. Thanks to him, Clementine could have a chance, even if it was very small. The girl in his arms could be living her last minutes alive, and then they would have to put an end to her suffering, something Louis refused to do. They had to act fast.

—Easy, little man. I'll carry her. We'll take her back to school. I know you're tired, but can you walk back? —The boy nodded—. That's good. We're going home.

They went back to the forest, with a sense of urgency that they couldn't completely obey. Clementine's life hung on a delicate balance. If they ran, she would lose blood. If walked slow, she may not get to school in time for proper treatment of her injury. Louis begged internally. She had to stay with him. He vowed never to complain again about the loss of his friends, if life allowed him to keep Clementine by his side. He lowered his chin, allowing the girl's hair to brush his cheek with the sway of the march. He was clinging to her. He wouldn't let her go.

—Guys! They came back!

Willy alerted the rest of the school as soon as he saw the group arrive. Aasim was the first to approach the entrance, opening the gates wide. Observant as always, he immediately noticed the state in which the girl was coming.

—Shit, what happened?

—There is no time. We need Ruby. Where she is? —Louis answered, asking for help on the spot.

The redhead had just arrived at the patio when she heard the call for help, immediately identifying the anguish in Louis' voice.

—I'm here. —she said to her companions. But all the attention was focused on Clementine as she just rested her eyes on her. She put a hand on her mouth, shocked for a few seconds—. Good lord! Is she... ?

—She is alive. —AJ answered—. I had to cut off her leg.

To make sure she was not putting the school in danger of death, Ruby took the precaution of grabbing Clementine's wrist to examine her vital signs.

—She has a pulse. Let's hurry up. She lost a lot of blood and that's not good. Follow me!

Louis risked running after Ruby to the infirmary with a weak Clementine in his arms. He wouldn't let her leave. He wouldn't allow it. AJ stepped forward to open the door, fighting his own physical exhaustion to help. Following the instructions, Louis put Clementine on the stretcher and moved slightly away to let Ruby work. However, he allowed himself to keep one of the girl's hands in his. She was cold.

AJ was telling how, just after they parted from Louis, a walker reached Clementine, biting her on the same leg that was no longer there. They had to take refuge in James' barn, practically shutting themselves up, seeing themselves surrounded on all sides. The boy's face twisted with grief when he recounted the moment in which Clementine asked him to kill her so she wouldn't become one of those monsters. Louis empathized with his pain; He could only imagine what he must have felt when he saw the decision in his hands. AJ added that if Abel had survived the attack of walkers by amputating his arm, the same rule should apply to Clementine.

—How long did it take from the bite to the amputation? —Ruby asked, still working on the wound.

—Uhm... fifteen or twenty minutes, at the most. —AJ answered.

—I'm glad. It may not have spread so much. —Said Ruby, with a little more relief in her words.

—Ruby. —called Louis, evidently worried—. I beg you. You have to save her.

—I'll do everything in my hands. —Ruby said. She couldn't promise anything else. Now I need you both to leave. I have to be focused for what's next.

What was coming wasn't nice. That's how they understood it. AJ headed for the door immediately, but it was harder for Louis. Unlike Clementine, he still didn't learn how to let go. He kissed the girl's hand repeatedly, gently and tenderly, both on the palm and on the back. He prayed for the last time before leaving. Fight, Clem.

Outside, sitting on one of the benches in the corridor, a silence reigned as never before between Louis and AJ. They were reproaching themselves internally for what happened, both for what they had done and for what they had not done. They were convinced that they could have changed the course of events if they had taken other choices.

—I didn't obey her. —AJ said, breaking the silence—. She told me that she shot her friend Lee to prevent him from suffering, but now she is suffering, because I didn't want to let her die. Did I do wrong?

—Of course not. You were great! You showed more guts than all of us together. I bet Clem is proud of you. —Louis consoled him, feeling his back and smiling with empathy—. I guess I can't call you "little man" anymore.

—It's okay. It's better than goofball. —AJ said, repeating the nickname with which Clementine had called him since he had memory. Suddenly, the boy was assailed by a doubt that only Louis could answer—. Hey Lou, how do you feel about Clem?

Louis turned to see the boy a little misplaced, not by the question itself, but by the responsibility involved in explaining to AJ something as important as the feeling that united him with Clementine. The little one continued.

—I saw you putting faces together before the rescue and you did it again, when we left the boat. Clem told me that it's part of what two people who love each other do to show their affection, but I don't think it's the same love that she and I have.

Smart boy. He didn't miss a single one. How to give an answer to the level of what he needed to know? This was the kind of thing that put Louis in trouble.

—You're right, buddy. It's another kind of love. You'll see... the love that bonds you is like the link between mother and child. She has raised you for years, teaches you to differentiate good from evil, and you want her to be proud of you. It's similar to what they call brotherly love. And you can love many people that way: friends, family. You can love them equally, because love is not something that can be measured. It's not like Omar's stew; every time he cooks, we have to distribute it, because we have a limited amount. Love, on the other hand, it's... unlimited. —He was assessing AJ's face, which seemed to accept what he was hearing. Great, that meant he hadn't screwed up yet. Now came the complicated part—. Between me and Clem there is also a care and mutual respect, but besides that there is... well this...

Worst of all, AJ's curiosity was at its best. God, he couldn't just tell him that romantic love implied physical attraction. That would immediately lead to sex questions, and he didn't want to get to that. Much less with Clementine in critical condition.

—It's okay, Lou. I can tell you don't know much about this. —AJ said ingenuously. Louis sighed in relief. He didn't want to break his innocence—. Just answer me something: would you give your life for her?

Under his watchful gaze, Louis smiled as if that question had filled him with well-being. A thousand times he would switch places with her, just as she was, badly wounded and fighting her most important battle. So, being alive would be right to be. Dying for someone else. For Clementine. Although giving his life was the sole purpose of that feeling, he would feel well rewarded!

—You bet. —Answered Louis—. Clem is the most important thing to me.

—Then I'm happy for you two. —AJ smiled, feeling accompanied. Clementine was also the most important thing to him.

Finally, the door of the infirmary opened, letting out an exhausted Ruby. As soon as he saw her, Louis stood up and approached her quickly.

—Could you do something? Is she okay? Tell me she is alive. —Louis asked, overwhelmed. Ruby gave him a compassionate look.

—Louis, calm down! She's unconscious, but still alive.

—Thank God. —spired the boy. AJ joined in the joy, hugging Louis—. Did you hear that, little dude? There is still hope.

—I knew she would make it. She wouldn't give up.

Ruby accompanied them with smiles, but she was careful not to celebrate.

—Louis, may I talk to you alone? —Ruby asked. Louis nodded—. AJ, can you keep Violet company? She needs someone to be around, after what happened to her eyes. You can deliver her the good news.

The boy accepted, hesitating at first, but he was also worried about Violet, so he agreed. Then Ruby called Louis calm and explained what was coming.

—It's a positive step. I stopped the bleeding, disinfected, closed her wound and put bandage on it. I didn't want to say the following in front of AJ, but we still can not guarantee anything. Surviving the bite is her first test. I've never seen it work, so I can't promise she won't turn. If she doesn't turn, she must still recover from the blood loss. We have to keep her as hydrated as possible. If you can make her eat, better yet. Now, what worries me the most is that her body responds well to amputation. If her leg gets infected, it could lead to septicemia, so the bandage needs to be changed frequently. Each stage depends on making the previous one. The plan is to wait. There is no more left to do at the moment.

Of course. There was that damn part that depended on the evolution that the patient showed. Waiting. Fuck. Louis wasn't sure he could stay there, sitting.

—May I see her?

—Louis, I'm not sure it's the best. She doesn't look good. And I had to take some precautions. You know.

So she had tied her to the bed. It wasn't a weird thing to do. It was what they did every time someone was in danger of death, but Louis felt a deep bitterness at imagining Clementine tied like an animal, especially after saving their lives. It had logic, but no mercy.

—Listen, Ruby. You know I'm going to go in anyway, but I'd prefer it was with your permission and your warnings, so I don't hurt Clem by accident. I'm asking you, please.

—Oh my God, Louis, why do you have to be so stubborn? —Ruby said, putting a hand to her forehead, trying not to be persuaded, but she failed miserably—. You really care about her, don't you?

He nodded.

—Fine. Come with me. You'll see her now.

A/N: Because you asked for it, I present to you the first chapter of this long-fic ranging from Clementine's amputation to beyond the end of Take us Back. With this story I want to show the evolution of Clouis relationship after peace returned, how they changed their lives after what happened, and how they will develop new dreams and hopes. There will be smut in future chapters. I hope you like it. Please write some reviews. How do you think Louis will react when he sees Clementine again?