Tales of the Falls
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
...III...
ANNOUNCEMENT!
I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!
SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!
The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.
...responses...
...III...
BOOM!
Things could've been going better for Mable...
BOOM!
After learning the REAL reason her bed/back had been messed up for awhile...
BOOM!
"You owe me a new bed!" She'd screamed in disgust...
BOOM!
Plus, having learned said reason...she finally noticed her brother going about naked all the time!
BOOM!
"Here! Dipper! Clothes! WEAR" Shouted Mable as she practically threw her latest 'work' at him.
BOOM!
"Sorry Mable, but pretty sure the girls will destroy any clothes I try to put on. So pass."
BOOM!
And then of course there was the whole walking in on her brother BANGING GIRLS!
BOOM!
She didn't know why her luck ran out...
BOOM!
But she remembered seeing it the first time...
BOOM!
Mabel had thrown up while fleeing...
BOOM!
causing her to slip and fall on her back before throwing up again...
BOOM!
UP. Into the air. And Gravity made sure the vomit falls on her face...
BOOM!
And now they were killing all these cute piggies!
BOOM!
And Mrs. Corduroy has a 5 lead as she blows up another bushel of pigs!" Shouts Lenderman. Mable just sighs as she kept an umbrella between her and the rain of pig parts...
...
With the contest over and all the pigs dead, the girls enjoy the fair with Dipper. They long stopped caring about hiding themselves from the public(after that very public karaoke competition, it was a moot point anyway)
So all three of them were just walking around in the buff. Wendy's Carpe Diem attitude had long since evolved in a 'I don't give a f***' attitude. And although Pacifca was normally more bashful, she was on a bit of an adrenaline high from killing all those dumb pigs...and wining the 'most covered in pig guts award'...to currently care what people thought of her nudity.
Only Dipper was embarrassed, covering himself. Despite everything he wanted to have a good time with the girls today...which for once actually didn't mean they would just have sex all day. They were just going to spend the day having regular(minus the nudity) fun at the fair...also last nights nine hour marathon dislocated Dippers poor doodle and they needed to give it a break to recover...
In any case, since all of Mable's attempts to clothe him had been thwarted by the girls...now he could only cover himself...
This did not go unnoticed, unfortunately...
"Oh, no. If we gotta go through this, so do you." Said Pacifica firmly as she quickly ties his hand behind his back before he could do anything.
"Pacifica don't do that...how's he going to eat?" Says Wendy with a teasing smirk.
Dipper hears the snickers and comments of...'My pinkie toe is bigger then that', 'My newborn baby is bigger then that...' His face goes a great crimson...
"Tell you what Dipper, I'll untie you...IF you give us a 'helicopter'.
Dipper gulped...but conceded...he try to swish his willy...but it was just too dang tiny... Everyone hotted and hollered at the whispers to him, "Keep at it...you do it...I'll reward you later." Now More determined then ever, he tries to give it one more good swish...
CRACK!
POP!
GAH!
And his dislocation suddenly got WORSE, popping his balls and dick, clean out of it's socket and was sent flying...
Panicked, Pacifica calls for an ambulance while Wendy looks for Dippers poor schlong...
Sadly...some moron bumped into her before she could stop it from landing in a deep fryer...where it was destroyed and it's remains were accidentally eaten up by Candy Chui when it got mixed in her curly fries...
"Yum! I don't know why, but this was the tastiest thing I ever eaten!" She exclaimed while Wendy just looked in stunned despair...
...
Mr. and Mrs. Pines just gaped in horror...
...
So a now neutered Dipper was sent to the hospital. The doctor confessed it was unlikely they'll be able to replace it...as there was no other genitals that small in the world...
The two girls sat on the bench in despair, the day ruined...angry and saddened over the fact main bright spot of their summer was now over- Oh! But mostly their friends pain and misfortune! Yep, that's clearly the most important priority. Nothing else! Forget that first bit, it was not important in the least!(They would hastily say to anyone who asked, which convinced NO ONE.)
Suddenly Wendy sees the jerk who stopped her earlier and ran to pummel him. She learned it was a time-travler named Blendin Blandin.
Naturally, they demanded his time-tape.
Naturally, he refused...
And naturally, they beat him up, threw him in the dumpster and took it anyway...
ZAP!
...
So this time, they simply decided to let Dipper cover himself and not bring it up at all...
"Oh, I've always wanted that ghost harassers key chain!" Exclaimed Dipper as he walked up to a both. The girls- having taken all his money so he couldn't buy clothes -happily pay for it for him(they pay for everything for him, their not cruel after all...they just want him to stay naked.).
"Alright!" Shouted Dipper as he leaned forward to grab the keychain from the carnie. Sadly, Dipper accidentally bumps into a commemorative pioneer day bear-trap, that falls off the counter onto Dipper and-
CHOMP!
GAH!
Screamed Dipepr as his willy and balls were effectively sliced cleanly off. The girls, stunned by this bout of Dja Vu, were to slow to stop his willy being kicked into a nearby meat grinder...were it was immediately ground up into nuggets for an eager Candy to dine on.
"Wow! Best nuggets I've ever eaten!" She exclaims happily...
The girls just gape at the carnage...
Wendy began, "WHAT."
Pacifica continued, "THE."
...
-FRACK!?" Finished Mr. and Mrs. Pines in horrified disbelief...
And this began the most frustrating day of their lives...
...III…...
TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!
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