"My choice for my wife and Princess of Illéa is," I held my breath as Maxon spoke. I watched his face. Stoic. Strong. But not happy. Not happy as it should be when he proposed to the girl he loves and wants to make that happen. "The Lady Kriss Ambers." After he said it, Maxon forced a smile on his face and the crowd erupted into cheers as cameras flashed in all three of our faces. The look of happiness on the chosen princess and the devastation on mine. I knew I deserved this. I'd brought it on myself after what I did with Aspen – though that felt so long ago now.

The king stood, his voice sounded almost happy as he spoke to the crowd – glad, perhaps, that his son had come to his senses and not chosen me. "You are all welcome to join myself and the rest of the royal family as we celebrate this union and welcome the newest member of our family.

Maxon put out his arm for Kriss to take, which she did, and led her out of the room. Neither of them turned to look at me as the press and the other guests followed them out of the doors, the chatter of their voices with questions for the couple and sounds of the cameras quietened as the door shut behind them. My head fell into my hands as I willed myself not to cry, after all I had caused this. This was my fault. I felt so alone.

Someone touched my shoulder and I turned. I wasn't alone as I noticed Celeste was crouched down beside me. Everyone had left. Gone to the party. But not her. Celeste had wanted to make sure I was ok. I was trying to remember how I could have disliked her so much now that I knew her better as she enveloped me in a hug. I began to sob, my tears running down her back and onto her dress.

"America, what happened?" She asked softly after a few moments had passed and I had begun to calm down. I shook my head.

"I don't know. It was all just a mistake. A stupid mistake. That I can't fix." I whispered between sobs. "I love him, Celeste. I love him." I kept thinking the words over and over again in my head. Why was it only last night that I had said them out loud? I moved out of the tight embrace so that I could look at Celeste.

"There was a boy, back home. I loved him but he was a six so we couldn't be together. He broke my heart and then I came here. I met Maxon and began to get over him. I opened myself up to the possibility of loving Maxon when he appeared at the palace as a guard. I didn't know what to do. I still loved him and I couldn't tell Maxon." I took a breath as Celeste listened. "We had a few conversations and more than conversations, but I stopped it. He was supposed to send me home but let me stay. I realised how much I loved him and knew I couldn't keep going on the way I was, so I ended it. But then this morning, Maxon found out. And then he chose Kriss." I could feel the tears falling down my cheeks faster as I got to the end of my story. Celeste embraced me again.

"Are you going to go back to him. The boy from home?" She asked, and I shook my head.

"I don't love him anymore, not like that. I don't know what I'm going to do."

"I'll tell you what we're going to do. We are going to go into that party as beautiful members of The Selection. We are Elite after all and you were there until the very end!" Celeste told me, her voice strong and clear like a general in the army. "We don't need men, we don't need anyone to make us happy. We have ourselves and each other." She winked at me.

Celeste took me up to my room and fixed my hair and make-up, then she took me downstairs to where music was playing loudly as the whole country celebrated the engagement of Maxon and Kriss. Tears pricked in my eyes at the thought but Celeste squeezed my hand and I forced a smile back on my face.

Inside, everyone was smiling, dancing, and congratulating the couple who looked like they hadn't been apart since they came in as Maxon's arm around Kriss's waist was almost as tight as the smile on his face as he talked to someone I didn't recognise. He glanced over as we walked in and our eyes met for a moment before he turned back to the conversation. I wasn't sure if there was anger or sadness in his eyes. Perhaps it was a mixture of both. Celeste pulled me across to a large group of girls who were dancing together. It took me a moment to recognise them but then I realised they were all girls from the Selection. A few of us were missing, Marlee of course but also Elise and a few other girls who mustn't have been able to get time away from whatever was going on at home. They gave me sad smiles as they danced but mostly focused on the happier girls around them.

"We might have been rejected, but at least it was by a Prince!" Celeste called out and we all laughed at her enthusiasm. "We can do anything!" I knew she was saying it to everyone but it felt like it was more for me, reminding me that I would get through this, as hard as it might feel right now.

I didn't want to leave the party, I didn't want to be alone again in my bedroom. Thankfully, the other girls didn't seem to want to leave either and were enjoying the last hurrah of the Selection as well as the first time we'd all been together in a while. However, it had to end. We all swapped addresses and phone numbers and so many hugs!

Maxon, Kriss and the king and queen left first and we all followed behind them but didn't go along to the dining room. Instead we all headed up to our bedrooms to pack away the end of our three-month long adventure. My maids helped me in silence, not wanting to ask why I hadn't won or how I was feeling. They removed the last one of their ballgowns that I would wear and put on the clothes I'd brought from home. Then I dismissed them to dress myself for the first time in months and consume myself in my loss.

The t-shirt and trousers I'd brought were probably the most comfortable things that I owned now but they were nothing in comparison the luxurious jeans Maxon had given me when I first came here. Tears pricked at my eyes as I thought of everything he'd given me over the past few months. I couldn't take any of it with me. I couldn't bare to think of him at all. I left his love letters on my bed, on top of the trousers he'd given me and the blue bracelet he'd brought me from New Asia. I wrote him a letter and left it on top. He had to know the truth, he had to know how much I loved him, even if it wouldn't be able to change anything now.

Maxon,

I love you.

I wanted you to have my feelings written down so that you could see how true my love for you is. Yes, Aspen and I were together for a little while during the selection as I hid from my feelings for you. But as soon as I realised they were real I was yours and yours alone.

I know I hurt you and I'm not expecting you to change your mind. Kriss is great after all. She'll certainly be a better princess than I ever would and I know she loves you. You might never forgive me and I understand that. But Maxon, you've chosen Kriss so give yourself to her. Forget about all that we shared and just remember her. Forget about me. I know I'll never forget you and how much I love you but I might feel better if I knew you were getting on just fine without me.

I love you and I can't wait to see what you do for our country.

Yours,

America

I folded the note over and wrote his name on the front. A tear fell from my eye and hit the parchment as I said goodbye to the person I loved more than anyone else in the world.

"Miss?" Anne asked as she cautiously opened the door. I placed my letter on the pile of things I had put on my bed and wiped away the tears. "Your mother and sister are waiting downstairs." I nodded.

"Thank you, Anne. For everything." I hugged her tight and when I pulled away she smiled at me.

"Everything is going to be fine, miss. I promise." I nodded again.

"Will you make sure Maxon gets these?" I gestured to the pile of clothes, jewellery and letters. Anne smiled and nodded. We said our goodbyes, her promising to send my love to Lucy and Mary, I picked up my bag and headed down the staircase for the last time in my life.

Mum hugged me tight, as did May and I could see the sadness in their lives. Between this and dad, this had to be the worst week of my life. I hoped I would never get worse though I couldn't see how that was possible.

Voices came from around the corner. Maxon and Kriss. When Maxon saw me, we locked eyes for a moment as I curtsied to them.

"Goodbye, your highness. I wish you and your bride all the best in life." My voice wavered as I spoke but I hoped it wasn't too obvious. I did mean it after all. I wanted Maxon to be with me but more than anything I wanted to be happy. I turned and mum, May and myself left the palace.

We didn't talk the whole way home. Not in the car which took us to the airport, not on the commercial plane, of course ex-members of the selected didn't need a private plane, and not in the car which picked us up from there. As soon as I got home, I walked into my bedroom with no plans of coming out anytime soon.

Thank you so much for reading this! I did try and write a version of this story about two years ago or something but figured I should start fresh since it's been so long! Anyway, please follow and leave a review if you enjoyed it!