For AJ, the biggest Trez shipper in the world
So thankful for your constant encouragement, I wouldn't be the writer I am today without you.
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He arrives a few minutes late, parks his car, and walks into the smoothie shop. He can't help but feel apprehensive. He doesn't see Trish yet but knows that he will be face to face with her in a few moments. What is he supposed to do and say? He has no idea. For all of his daydreaming about his future soulmate, he has never thought about what he'd actually say to her once he found her. He's only been thinking about it since last night when he texted her about meeting up, and he's still not any closer to an answer. He guesses he'll find out what he'll say when it comes out of his mouth. He feels himself shaking and reminds himself why he's here. If he doesn't talk to her and goes back to LA without getting on the same page, he'll forever regret it. He doesn't want that. This needs to be settled.
He's awkwardly standing close to the line by the counter but not in it when he sees the door open and Trish appear. He smiles. This may be one of the more awkward moments of his life, but at least he's with Trish. She's such a great friend, and seeing her just reminds him of how grateful he is to have her in his life. Maybe this actually won't be that bad.
"Hey," she says coming up and standing next to him.
He almost gives her a hug, but then he remembers that they're soulmates and that this just might be the beginning of forever. He stops himself. "Hey, I see you're here now."
She laughs this shallow, half-snort, half-laugh. "I did agree to come."
She's got sunglasses at the top of her head, and her curls look so glossy in the florescent light that he's thinking about how long it has been since he's touched them. And he's struck again with their history and all the beautiful memories of fun times they both carry with them. He can't stop himself this time and pulls her into a hug. "I missed you," he says into her shoulder.
"I missed you too, Dez," she replies. "You can let go now," she adds after a moment releasing her grip on him.
He's just not sure what to say. She smells wonderful, and he's sure he didn't remember that her sense of style while not edgy enough for his taste is still on point. Today's leopard print leggings, black cami, and jean shirt are the perfect choice for her. "How are you?" he ventures.
She smiles, and it's a genuine one that makes him smile too. "Good. Busy, you know."
"Yeah," he replies. As they wait their turn, they make smalltalk, and somewhere deep down, Dez knows that in a few hours he won't even remember what they talked about. His mind is way too occupied with the conversation that's coming and the fact that he still doesn't know what to say. They grab their smoothies, and he follows Trish to a tall table in the corner where they sit down. They're finally facing each other, and seeing her face across the table makes him feel like he isn't up for this after all. She's smiling. He figures her smoothie's good, but it somehow also looks like a mischievous smirk. He's known her for a long time; he knows what her mischievous smirk looks like, and this is it. He can feel her eyes looking at him at him; it's as if she has a bet with herself about how long it will be until he says something. They sit taking long sips of their smoothies, saying nothing for several minutes until he can take it no longer. He sets his smoothie down. It lands on its side, and as he catches it, he squeezes it sending some of the pink liquid out the straw and onto the table. After setting his cup upright again, he excuses himself to get some extra napkins and comes back and hurriedly cleans up the mess. "There," he says setting the napkins in a pile. "All clean."
"Never a dull moment with you, doof," she says laughingly. Her eyes twinkle, and he's not sure why he didn't remember that they twinkle. He can't recall them twinkling before, but he's sure they have. He must have just missed it. They're so pretty he wants to touch them. Since he can't, he thinks that perhaps drawing or painting them would be the next best thing. There's softness in her facial expression that makes her comment feel more like a compliment than an insult. That gives him courage. Even if she has some bet going, she still wants to hear whatever he has to say. She showed up after all. "So we're soulmates." It comes out so quickly he has to take a breath afterword.
"It would appear so." Her tone is even and almost nonchalant.
He looks down at his smoothie. He can't see her face as he says whatever is coming next. "I didn't think…you know…I didn't expect it would be you. It's not that…that I didn't want it to be or something." He can feel himself stumbling over his words. This is exactly what he was afraid of happening. Why didn't he plan ahead? He can't stop now, so he just goes with it. "I had no idea who it'd be. I guess I just…I just didn't think it'd be somebody I knew."
He glances up. He can face her now that he's not speaking. He sees hurt in her eyes and feels ashamed. He'd never want to hurt her. His hands find his straw as he continues. "It's not that I didn't want it to be you. I've just not known for so long, and now, I do. And you know, Carrie." He's bending his straw back and forth and can't even string proper sentences together. "But that's all taken care of now. I've always wanted my soulmate, and I…I want to give this a try." He curses himself for sounding so tentative, but he can't help himself. He just feels so tremendously out of his element.
"I'm glad you wanted to take the chance to talk it over. I really appreciate that." He can't read her emotions at the moment, and it scares him a little. "I'm not just your soulmate, Dez. I'm a person, and I don't want that to get lost here. I'm not going to be some vehicle for your dreams." She stops for a moment, and he's not sure where she's going. Her eyes are on the table as she continues. "I've done that before, and I'm not doing that again. I'm happy to talk, but all I've agreed to is coming here."
He doesn't know what to say. She's right; she's a person who deserves just as much if not more than he does. "I'm sorry," he ventures. "Will you let me try again?" He can feel now that the stakes are higher, higher than they ever were with Carrie. He's got to put it all out there. "I'm not even sure what I'm doing. I just knew I had to see you, and we had to talk this out before I go back to LA. I don't want to pressure you or anything. I'll accept whatever you decide."
He looks up, and she nods. "Go on."
"Thank you," he says sincerely. "You're too kind." There's so much graciousness in her giving him a second chance he doesn't know what to do with it. He doesn't deserve this kindness when he was the one who asked her here to tell her something and promptly hurt her feelings. But she's not mad. He feels her eyes on him again, and it's this intense stare that makes him feel like all of him is on display. There's this discomfort in being so exposed, but at the same time, he knows it's because she cares about him enough to hear what he has to say. He wonders if perhaps soulmates have more to do with coming across someone you could have this with than who you end up with after all. "But yeah, I do want to talk about it more. I used to have my heart set on this, but all those years…" He doesn't know how to explain it. "I don't anymore. I know life and even having a soulmate isn't a fairytale. I just want to be where I'm supposed to be; I don't want to be too afraid to do what I'm supposed to do. And it appears life has lead me to you."
She smiles, but says nothing seemingly noticing that he's not done.
"Even if it weren't for the whole soulmates thing, I'd want to ask you out. You're so pretty and more confident than I'd ever dream of being." He feels a smile spread across his face. She's so incredible. "But yeah, I think you're an amazing person matching marks aside. Maybe the soulmates thing is making me do something and keeping me from being a lazy bum who doesn't ask, but yes, I'm interested in you. I want to see what we have, what the future would look like if we were side-by-side."
"Yes," she says so quietly he's not sure he heard correctly. "I'm up for giving this a try."
He turns his voice to a loud whisper. "I'm so glad it's you. There's not many people who'd be okay with me being a bumbling idiot."
She places her hand on his arm gently. "You're not an idiot. You've never been an idiot. And the bumbling is actually very endearing." Her eyes are twinkling, and he feels so warm inside. She loves him already. How did he get that lucky?
He's so overcome with emotion that as if by impulse he walks over to her chair, places his arms around her, and kisses her. He immediately wonders if she'll pull back; she doesn't. When he stands up a moment later to catch a breath, his heart is racing. Before he knows it, she's standing before him on her tiptoes trying to reach his face for another kiss. He leans down and obliges. She's so adorable.
When they break apart a moment later, they do sit down again, but she grabs his hand. "So us?" she says.
"Yes," he says his heart overcome with joy. He squeezes her hand. "Us."