IV.

This is how silence feels:

No matter how hard you willed it not to, time went on. It was hard at first, really hard. No matter how hard things get, time still passes. Life isn't a show, you can't play a montage of you sleeping or working and suddenly it's a year, and things are better. You can't sleep your pain away and try to make your pain forgettable.

Because it won't be. It will never be.

Penny fills her entire schedule with work. Some time did pass actually, two months to be exact. Since then she found out her pilot was picked up and she was now capable of quitting the goddamn cheesecake factory, she was a main character. One of the top three actually. She was being paid enough to move out of the apartment as well.

She didn't want to.

Not yet.

In Nebraska she told her mother everything, her father and brother too. They were surprised, the last thing they knew of the tall scientist was he was a psycho physicist. Penny's words. So, Suzanne was confused when her daughter lay in her arms sobbing her heart out, confessing to messing up largely. Her mother wasn't much help, neither was her father. They were both too confused and shocked to find their Penny found love. Cause they knew it was love.

Surprisingly, her brother was the most helpful. He told her about a woman he loved and lost. He had a choice to sober up and be good for her, and he chose drugs. She left him without a second thought, and it took that for him to realize what he lost. He hadn't touched drugs since.

"It's better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all."

But Penny didn't want to lose Sheldon. She loves him.

She stays in Nebraska for almost a month, and she calls him every day. He never answers, he's smart and knows it's her so he lets it ring endlessly, so she just leaves voicemails. Sometimes it's just of her breathing, and sometimes it's her telling him about her day. She desperately wishes he'd answer; she just wants to hear him.

His voicemail gets full.

It frustrates her enough to go back to Pasadena.

Her show is on air, and it's a hit. She's starting to get recognized on the street now, not often, but more than she used to –and she'll take it. It serves as a reminder that she's finally getting what she wants, she's finally made it. But she can't find it in herself to be happy about it. She's just too sad.

She speaks to Leonard still, Raj, and Howard too.

They're happy for her, and they all watch her show. Every Friday night, while eating Thai food. She wants to ask if Sheldon watches too, but she doesn't have to because Leonard tells her.

"No."

It breaks her heart, but she can't be surprised. She broke his.

She doesn't try to contact him anymore; it's been a year since she broke his heart. She's about to start filming season two of her show and she's actually excited for her it. Her pay has raised and her fanbase has grown exceptionally. Her show was nominated for an Emmy, and she has to attend. She's been able to put Sheldon out of her mind for long periods of time now, that's the biggest feat of it all.

So, she's surprised when Bernadette calls her one day, her voice not as high-pitched, "Amy and Sheldon are dating."

She drops the phone.

Of course, he watches her show, he's so proud of her and he wants nothing more than to tell her just that. But he's hurt, and he knows he shouldn't be because despite how much he loves her, he understands her worries and insecurities. Their relationship did start rather spontaneously, and even though their chemistry was intense, they still had yet to discuss the status of their relationship. He sighs, he should've made her sign a relationship agreement.

He knew she left for Nebraska too. He saw her wheeling her luggage out of 4B and he almost opened his door and begged her not to leave, but he knew they both needed this space. So, he let her go.

The entire month she was gone, he wanted to call her. He even snuck into her apartment and fell asleep in her bed a few nights. He missed her smell and missed her touch.

He was thankful she started calling and leaving voicemails. It filled his heart.

Then his inbox got full and they stopped.

He noticed she stopped trying to contact him when she got home, and he wondered if he had punished her too much. Did he officially push her away? He tells himself it's what she deserved; she should've spoken to him about her concerns. But then he remembers, it was her outlet and he betrayed her privacy.

He sees her kiss her co-star on TV and he gets jealous.

He knows he shouldn't be, because it's fake and it's just TV. But he gets possessive when he sees her blonde male co-star place his hands on her waist, pulling her into him. He's angry. Was this why she stopped contacting him? Was this why he no longer had to go out of his way to avoid her? Because she was now involved with someone else?

He calls Amy Farrah Fowler.

Penny arrives home after the Emmy's, they won. Best New TV Show. Favourite Break-out Actress. Favourite on Screen Kiss. She took home three Emmy's, and she was on a high she never knew she could feel. Her life was going right, and she was happy. She missed Sheldon, a lot, but he didn't want to see her, and he was now dating Amy…she supposed she had to respect that.

She climbs the four flights of stairs in her long dress, a silly smile on her face. As she reaches the landing for the fourth floor she bumps into a solid chest, and it sends a wave of electricity through her body. She immediately tenses, she knew that feeling.

They look at each other, unsure of how to proceed. It had been an entire year since either of them had seen or spoken to each other. Things were different.

She knew it wasn't possible, but he seemed taller. More mature. His jawline was sharper, his hair a bit longer and slightly tousled. His shoulders broader, and his eyes…his eyes bluer.

Sheldon felt his chest clenching. He had to remember how to breathe.

She stood in front of him, eyes large and as bright as burning boron. She looked healthy, and happy, and he didn't know if that hurt him or made him proud. He glanced down at the three awards in her arms, and decided he felt proud. She was accomplishing things she always wanted to.

It was her that spoke up first.

"I'm moving in two months, to New York. My show is being picked up for a second season, this is a really big opportunity for me and I'm going to take it.

He doesn't reply, doesn't look her in her eyes, so she continues, "I knew for some time now. I'm sorry I never told you, but you never responded to me. In a way, I'm glad you didn't, because if you did and we reconciled I wouldn't have left. Not after I got you back."

She sighs deeply and moves towards her door, "I know I hurt you, and I'm so sorry for that Sheldon. I never meant for you to read that email. I wish I could say I'd take it all back, but I wouldn't. This thing we had really scared me, Sheldon," she chuckled humorlessly, "I guess I'm not as strong as I thought I was. I can't even tell you why it scared me." She shrugs and he looks away.

She can't find it in herself to cry, because she's done enough of that over the last year. So, she just looks at him, silently begging him to look at her –but he doesn't. So, she just nods, "I'm happy for you and Amy, by the way. I'm happy you were able to move on," she tells him, and just because it looks like he's not hurting like the way she was, she says, "I hope one day I'll be able to move on too."

Then closes the door behind her.

He's gathered many things from this encounter, but mostly he's learned one thing: he's an idiot.

This is not the cliché ending:

Sheldon shows up at the airport right before Penny boards the plane with a bouquet of yellow tulips (those are her favourite). He's out of breath, but Penny's about to get on the plane, and he yells out her name and she stops and turns around, everything is in slow motion and she cries because there he is.

He came for her.

She runs to him; everyone is watching as they part and make way for the young lovers. She jumps into his arms, he catches her, they kiss. They apologize to each other over and over again, and they show each other just how much they mean their apology when he takes them back to his apartment.

They move in together, and they live happily ever after.

Curtain falls.

This is what restoring looks like:

Sheldon doesn't go to the airport.

Penny doesn't expect him to. She doesn't even think about it happening, so she keeps her head held high and boards the plane. She's better than that.

She moves into her new loft, and she's happy because this is what she's wanted all along. She places her Emmy's on an empty shelf and takes a picture of them. She sends it to her family in Nebraska and they're proud of her.

"You did it, Penny."

She did.

It's been three months and she starts pouring herself into her work, and people are noticing. She's acting better than she ever did during season one and her director is proud of her. The writers start giving her more lines and her agent calls her telling her another show has expressed interest in her. It won't take much of her time like the one she's starring in now, but it'll pay just as much. She's eager when she accepts the audition.

It's in Sweden. She doesn't even think about the email she received from Leonard telling her Sheldon had done it, he finally won a Nobel Prize.

She doesn't even think about the fact her audition takes place a few days prior to his ceremony. She doesn't even think about that when she's booking her ticket.

She talks to her boys when she can, and Bernadette nearly daily. She talks to Amy but tries to keep their conversations to a minimum. She really didn't want to hear about her and Sheldon's love life.

So, when she calls, she rolls her eyes but answers anyways.

"Sheldon broke up with me, Bestie," she's sobbing. Her heart is broken because the man she loved broke up with her. But Penny is smiling.

It's a few days before she is set to leave for Sweden, and her email dings. She thinks it's Leonard, but her heart stops when she sees it's from Sheldon instead. The subject line is empty, but when she opens it there's a ten-digit number there, underneath reads: my new number.

It's simple, but it gets her heart beating faster.

She calls it and he answer almost immediately. They don't say anything, and all they can hear is breathing and static. Finally, he says, "I'm going to Sweden."

"I know."

Penny is exhausted when she finishes her audition, but she's excited too because in a few days she'll be at the concert hall where they hold the ceremony for the Nobel Prize winners. She looks at the dress she picked out and smiles, she hopes it goes the way she planned. They'll see each other, they'll talk things out, and hopefully get their friendship back.

It doesn't.

She's standing in the lobby of the hall and sees the crowd filled with smart people she doesn't recognize. Those aren't her smart people. There's press there too, and though she's not a big celebrity, they do know of her. She frowns, maybe she shouldn't have come.

Then the hairs on the back of her neck stand, and she gets that feeling in her stomach and knees. She senses him before she sees him, and she feels his stare before she turns around.

"You came…"

His voice is low, and she turns to look at him. He's handsome, he's in a black suit much like the one he wore during the tenure dinner. She looks up at him and nods, "I wouldn't miss this," she tells him honestly, "I'm so proud of you."

She doesn't say anything when he takes her purse from her and places it on the table beside them. She especially doesn't say his name when he pulls her into him and kisses her so passionately that she can't breathe. He doesn't say anything when she runs her hands through his hair, effectively messing it up.

In fact, they don't say anything for a long time.

This is the conclusion:

They move in together.

They buy a forever home in New York, and Amy and Leonard feel shocked and betrayed but Leonard not so much because he seen this coming when they picked Penny up from the airport the first time so many years ago.

They argue over furniture choices and placement, and teddy bears and dolls, and "yes they are dolls, Sheldon!"

They get a new bed, one large enough for them both but still in the middle of the night they migrate to the middle and invade each other's personal space.

It's hard and easy, but mostly hard. They fight still, because she's still scared, and he's scared that she's scared and it's just this never-ending cycle that they can't escape from. But she loves him, that she's sure of. So sure of it that she doesn't hesitate to say "yes," when he asks her to marry him.

He gets a job at NYU as a science professor, rather easily. He says it's because they'd be stupid to deny his genius, she says it's because he won a Nobel Prize and they want the good rep. He watches her shows unashamedly, and admits he always did in the first place when she suggests he starts from season one. They kiss and roll around in their sheets after that.

They argue about where to place her Emmy's and his Nobel Prize and other awards, but they settle on a display case in the living room, overlooking everything else. Sheldon was no fool, the display case had a lock. "No New York heathen is going to get the best of me!"

They're sitting in their living room; she's admiring her engagement ring and he's admiring her.

"I shouldn't have read it."

It takes her a minute because it's been so long, but her face softens when she realizes what he's talking about, "No, but in a way I'm glad you did."

He kisses her, wrapping an arm around her waist. He pulls her onto his lap, and she moans.

"I love you."

Her eyes are glossy, and she's unsure of why she's feeling emotional, but she smiles, "I love you."

"Good." He kisses her.

His students all graduate with top marks, because no student of Sheldon Cooper's was going to fail. He liked to say it was because he didn't want his reputation to fail him, but deep down it was because he cared. Penny started filming the third season, and the further the show got the more exposure she got. Bernadette even told her the manager from the cheesecake factory even posted her photo on their wall under 'notable employees'.

They go back to Pasadena to visit, and they realize their friends are moving on in life as well. Raj had gone back to India to marry a sweet woman, and they both moved to California in their own home. Howard and Bernadette had their first-born child together, while Leonard and Amy found solace in each other's arms while grieving the loss of their supposed-to-be partners, and while not engaged Amy was about to give birth to their son any day now.

Everyone was happy, and everyone was solid in their foundation.

It wasn't perfect, but this was happiness.