I swear this is going to be the last chapter!... maybe.
Anyway, this chapter isn't going to have a part 2. Just this one.
Translations will be at the bottom of the chapter! But maybe read it twice because it's still very funny (according to my sister) when you don't know what they're saying.
Chapter 5: Technus
He felt it come on suddenly.
New Tech. New Tech! New Tech! NEW TECH! His mind screamed at him as he started flying in the direction of the feeling, through the vast openness of this uninhabited part of the Ghost Zone.
What was it? Who built it? What could it do? Where did it come from? Why did it show up suddenly? Questions raced through his thoughts as he could only anticipate what it was. When he finally got close enough to see the new tech… he had some different questions.
It was in the shape of a humanoid, probably an android of some kind, wearing purple and silver metallic-looking clothes. Its skin was a pale green, unlike his own vivid green, and had three lights on its forehead in the shape of a triangle. It was just floating there, slowly moving its head around as if looking at the surroundings, though it was only purple sky and green clouds.
When he flew up to it, it focused on him and narrowed its eyes.
"GREETINGS! I AM TECHNUS! MASTER OF ALL TECHNOLOGY!" he greeted.
"596F7572207370656563682069732063727564652C206275742073696D696C617220656E6F75676820746F206D79206F776E206C616E6775616765207468617420492077696C6C20666F726769766520796F7520666F7220796F7572207472616E736772657373696F6E2C" it said. (1)
Technus blinked in surprise.
"WHAT TRANSGRESSION?" he screeched.
"596F752077696C6C2066696E642074686174204920616D20746865206D6173746572206F6620616C6C20746563686E6F6C6F67792C" it said. "466F72204920616D20427261696E6961632E" (2)
Technus scowled.
"WELL CAN YOU DO THIS?" He raised his hand and mimed slapping the android. Probably to its surprise, its own hand raised up and slapped itself in the face; not that Technus could tell what it was feeling, if it could feel, because its expression never changed, other than narrowing its eyes again with a slight frown.
"486F772064696420796F7520646F20746861743F" (3)
"I TOLD YOU THAT I WAS THE MASTER OF ALL TECHNOLOGY!" he said. "FOR I AM TECHNUS!"
"596F75206861766520746865206162696C69747920746F20636F6E74726F6C20746563686E6F6C6F67792E" (4)
"YES, THAT'S WHAT THE NAME IMPLIES." Technus rolled his eyes. "THAT'S KINDA-SORTA WHY I CHOSE IT. NOW STOP BEING RUDE AND ANSWER MY INVASIVE QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE, WHAT YOU CAN DO, WHO BUILT YOU, WHERE YOU CAME FROM, WHY YOU'RE HERE AND DO YOU WANT TO BE MY SIDEKICK IN TAKING OVER THE WORLD?"
It was quiet for a moment, as if deciding if it was going to answer him at all.
"596F75206861766520706971756564206D7920696E7465726573742C20546563686E75732C" it said finally. "4265207761726E65642074686174207468617420697320746865206F6E6C7920726561736F6E20776879204920616D206163717569657363696E6720746F20796F757220666F6C6C792E" (5)
It folded its arms behind its back and Technus stuck out his tongue.
"4920616D20427261696E6961632E204920686176652061207477656C6674682D6C6576656C20696E74656C6C6563742E204F74746F2042696E6465722E20497272656C6576616E742E20492063616D65207468726F756768206120706F7274616C2E20416E6420696620796F7520646F206E6F742073746172742073686F77696E672070726F706572207265737065637420746F2061207375706572696F72206265696E672C20492077696C6C20626520666F7263656420746F207465726D696E61746520796F752E" (6)
"BIG TALK FOR A THING THAT JUST SLAPPED ITSELF IN THE FACE!" Technus scoffed. "TWELVTH-LEVEL INTELLECT; WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?"
"4974206D65616E7320746861742049206861766520616C726561647920646576697365642066696674792D666F75722077617973206F66207465726D696E6174696E6720796F7520696E20756E6465722074656E207365636F6E647320616E6420616E6F746865722074776F2D68756E6472656420616E642073697874792D656967687420696E20756E646572207468697274792E" (7)
It was Technus's turn to narrow his eyes at the android.
"YOU'VE GOT SPUNK, KID!" he said, suddenly grinning. "SO: TAKING OVER THE WORLD. YOU IN OR OUT?"
It raised one of its eyebrows, supposedly.
"496E746572657374696E672E204920616D20E28098696E2EE28099" (8)
"WONDERFUL!"
Danny raced across the Ghost Zone with two very anxious Kryptonians tailing behind him.
Wulf had come to him in a panic, telling him about how another extra-dimensional portal popped up—Danny needs to see Clockwork about that, this is getting out of hand—and something came through! A big robot man in purple with lights on his head. Wulf had been adamant that he had a really bad feeling about the thing, so Danny went to see Kal and Kara. They looked very worried after the description, and insisted that they both come along to help Danny get rid of him.
They flew into one of the uninhabited parts of the Ghost Zone, where their radar indicated the direction of the intruder.
When they got close enough to see who it was, Danny was unpleasantly surprised that someone else had beaten them to it. And it was Technus. Of course Technus would be the first one on the scene of an extra-dimensional, possibly-evil-based-on-the-reactions-of-the-Kryptonians robot man!
When they got close enough to hear them… Danny had some different questions.
"0100001001010101010101000010000001001101010110010010000001010000010011000100000101001110001000000100100101010011001000000101000001000101010100100100011001000101010000110101010000100001" Technus shouted… in binary. (9)
"596F757220706C616E206973206661722066726F6D20706572666563742C2069742069732070726163746963616C6C79206964696F7469632C" the robot man said in… well, Danny didn't know what that was, but it wasn't binary, and it wasn't any other language he knew, or even sort-of knew. (10)
"0101100101001111010101011110001010000000100110010101001001000101001000000101000001010010010000010100001101010100010010010100001101000001010011000100110001011001001000000100100101000100010010010100111101010100010010010100001100100001" Technus looked like he was getting frustrated. "01000100010011110100111011100010100000001001100101010100001000000100110101000001010010110100010100100000010011010100010100100000010011010100000101001011010001010010000001011001010011110101010100100000010100110100110001000001010100000010000001011001010011110101010100100000010000010100011101000001010010010100111000100001" (11)
The robot frowned and narrowed its eyes at him, then suddenly looked up and over to Danny and company.
"4B616C2D456C2C204B617261205A6F722D456C2C2049206D757374207361792074686174204920616D20717569746520706C656173656420746F2073656520796F752C" it said. (12)
"y r u here Brainiac?" Kara asked, with a surprising amount of anger in her voice. "wat r u plotting?"
"Yer commin wit us," Kal demanded.
They seemed to understand what the robot—Brainiac?—said; which was great for them, but Danny was still lost.
"010011100100111100100001001000000101100101001111010101011110001010000000100110010101001001000101001000000100110101011001001000000100111001000101010101110010000001001101010101010101001101000011010011000100010100100001" Technus shouted. (13)
"492073757272656E6465722C204B616C2D456C2E20492077696C6C206E6F742070757420757020612066696768742E" Brainiac stuck out his wrists, as if surrendering. "4A7573742074616B65206D6520617761792066726F6D20746869732061636375727365642064696D656E73696F6E2E" (14)
",,, k,,," Kara warily approached the robot, and stuck some bulky, cyber-tech-looking handcuffs on him.
"0101011101001000010000010101010000100000010000010101001001000101001000000101100101001111010101010010000001000100010011110100100101001110010001110011111100111111" Technus screeched. (15)
"4920616D206C656176696E672C20492074686F7567687420796F752068656172642C" Brainiac said and floated quietly at Kara's side while she looked very uncomfortable being that close to him. (16)
"01000010010101010101010000100000010101110100010111100010100000001001010001001110010011110100111101001111010011110100111100100001" Technus screamed as Danny pulled him into the thermos he brought with him. (17)
Kal looked around awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Well, ya be thinkin we should skedaddle?"
"ye" Kara shrugged.
"5468617420776F756C642062652070726566657261626C652E" (18)
Danny sighed. He really needed to see Clockwork about that portal problem.
"I'll get Wulf."
AN 1: Brainiac spoke in Hexadecimal, btw. I was going to have it in binary… but ya'll would have just been scrolling thru half the page just to get to the next sentence…
Translations:
(1): "Your speech is crude, but similar enough to my own language that I will forgive you for your transgression," it said.
(2): "You will find that I am the master of all technology," it said. "For I am Brainiac."
(3): "How did you do that?"
(4): "You have the ability to control technology."
(5): "You have piqued my interest, Technus," it said finally. "Be warned that that is the only reason why I am acquiescing to your folly."
(6): "I am Brainiac. I have a twelfth-level intellect. Otto Binder. Irrelevant. I came through a portal. And if you do not start showing proper respect to a superior being, I will be forced to terminate you."
(7): "It means that I have already devised fifty-four ways of terminating you in under ten seconds and another two-hundred and sixty-eight in under thirty."
(8): "Interesting. I am 'in.'"
(9): "BUT MY PLAN IS PERFECT!" Technus shouted.
(10): "Your plan is far from perfect, it is practically idiotic," the robot man said.
(11): "YOU'RE PRACTICALLY IDIOTIC!" Technus looked like he was getting frustrated. "DON'T MAKE ME MAKE YOU SLAP YOU AGAIN!"
(12): "Kal-El, Kara Zor-El, I must say that I am quite pleased to see you," it said.
(13): "NO! YOU'RE MY NEW MUSCLE!" Technus shouted.
(14): "I surrender, Kal-El. I will not put up a fight." Brainiac stuck out his wrists, as if surrendering. "Just take me away from this accursed dimension."
(15): "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Technus screeched.
(16): "I am leaving, I thought you heard," Brainiac said.
(17): "BUT WE—NOOOOO!" Technus screamed.
(18): "That would be preferable."