James' thumbs hovered over his phone as he contemplated the series of text messages on the screen.

They played Carly Rae right after you left :)

Missing your sick dance moves, these ppl suck. Also Mary is an idiot omg i should video this

Thx for coming w me tonight. I know I mdae it sound like nbd to Snape but u know I couldnt h ave done it w/o u

Can we talk?

That last was this morning, and James wasn't sure how to respond. Last night he'd been too hurt, too angry, and too embarrassed to exchange friendly texts with an increasingly drunk Lily. Now, he was tempted to hear what she had to say.

But how often did a good conversation follow "Can we talk?" She probably wanted to apologize for the drunk texts and then let him down easy. Tell him how much she appreciated his help, but that she thought he'd understood it was only about protecting her from Snape. And she didn't need protecting anymore.

Which was a good thing, James knew. He certainly didn't want her to go through life feeling threatened. And he was proud of her for standing up to herself. It was just that he'd thought – or maybe just hoped – she'd started to care about him in these two weeks of fake dating, and as more than a human shield.

Now he knew that wasn't the case, but it didn't mean he wanted to hear her say it.

He put down the phone without replying.

Sirius plopped down next to him on the couch. "Is she still texting you?"

James grunted. "Yeah. She wants to talk."

"That's good, right?"

"I dunno." He gave his hair a frustrated tug. "If she was into me, she could've said so last night when I practically begged for it."

"It didn't sound like you begged," Sirius said diplomatically. "More like you put the ball in her court, and she didn't go for the wide-open shot."

"What?"

Sirius spread his hands. "I'm just saying, she's used to playing defense, right? She wasn't expecting to make a move, she was expecting you to make a move. So then neither of you took your shot, and nobody scored."

"Wow." James rubbed his forehead and shook his head. "You are really straining the basketball metaphor."

"Just trying to speak to you in your language," Sirius joked. His eyebrows dipped suddenly, and his expression shifted to one of dismay. "Honestly, I don't get it. I was sure last night would end with you both admitting this fake relationship turned real and you can't live without each other."

"I told you she's not in love with me," James said. He tried to shrug like it didn't matter. "She thought we were just having fun. As friends."

"Uh-uh," Sirius said, wagging a finger at James. "She looks at you like you hung the damn moon. That is not a 'just friends' look!"

James made a sound, half-moan, half-snarl, and flung himself back against the couch. "Sirius. Just let it go, all right?"

"Sorry," Sirius said, his brow still furrowed. "I just feel like I'm right about her." He shook his head, then clapped a hand on James' thigh and threw him a challenging smile. "Now pick up your sticks. I'm gonna stomp you in Smash Bros."

James ran a hand through his hair and exhaled loudly. He felt like a child, like his brother thought he could just be distracted from life's problems with a toy, or loud sounds and flashing lights.

He'll probably offer to take me out for ice cream next.

But he knew Sirius meant well. And anything was better than replaying every moment of the last two weeks in his mind, trying to figure out where he'd gone wrong with Lily. He sighed again. "Yeah, sure."

After four losses in a row, James dropped the controller with an irritated growl. "Okay, this blows. I think I'm just gonna head to the gym and play some ball."

Sirius winced. "It's that bad, huh?"

Worse, James thought. But he just shrugged. "I'll be back later."

He stood and went to his room to change, but he paused at the entrance to the living room and looked over his shoulder. "Hey. Have I told you lately you're a really good brother?"

"Other than basketball, showing people how much you care is literally the only thing you're good at," Sirius said with a cheeky grin. "So yeah, I know."

"Yeah, whatever," James retorted, managing a grin, too. "I'm good at everything."

Sirius snorted. "Not Smash Brothers."

James gave him a one-finger salute and left the room to the sound of Sirius' barking laughter.

He changed quickly and decided to jog to the rec center. It was less than two miles away, and the heat and the physical activity might help him break out of his foul mood.

But while he ran, James replayed Sirius' words over and over in his mind. If James was so good at showing people how much he cared about them, Lily must have seen it, right? So her reaction wasn't because she was waiting for him to make his feelings clear. It had to be because she didn't feel the same way.

James grunted and pushed himself harder, hoping with a little more effort, he could outrun his thoughts.

….

It was rude, the way the sunlight was sneaking through the gaps in the blinds, prodding Lily in the face, apparently insisting that she get up and face the day.

She squeezed her eyes more tightly shut and yanked her pillow over her head in defiance. I'll get up when I'm good and ready.

A second later, she tossed the pillow aside and groped for her mobile phone. She'd sent a text to James a little over an hour ago, when she'd gotten up to use the bathroom. He hadn't responded immediately, but maybe now…

No new messages. Lily put the phone down and pulled her pillow back over her face.

Lily hated mornings. Especially mornings where she was dehydrated and slightly hungover and annoyed with a beautiful, prideful, angel of a boy who wouldn't even text her back.

She rolled out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom for some headache medicine. As she splashed cool water on her face, she heard Dorcas singing to herself in the kitchen.

Lily sighed. It was too early for singing.

She wandered into the kitchen anyway.

"Morning!" Dorcas chirped. "How're you feeling?"

"Too early for feelings," Lily grumbled, untruthfully. "I need coffee."

"This pot's fresh," Dorcas said, pouring a cup. She stirred in three heaping teaspoons of sugar and passed it to Lily. "Also, it's nearly ten. It's not early."

"Feels early," Lily muttered. She took a sip of her coffee and groaned in satisfaction. "Thank you. This is perfect."

"Yeah, well, rumor has it like your coffee like you like your men," Dorcas said, smirking. "Black and sweet."

"Oh, my God!" Lily snorted into her cup. "So inappropriate."

Dorcas giggled. "It would be if you said it. I think I can get away with it."

Lily shook her head and returned Dorcas' impish smile. "If you say so." She took a deep breath, bracing herself, then pushed through the door Dorcas had metaphorically cracked open with her comments. "I sort of can't believe James left me last night. And now he won't text me back."

"Well, you did tell everyone you only brought him because you were desperate. It's kind of humiliating." Dorcas' tone was sharp, no longer teasing, and Lily cringed. She'd forgotten that in upsetting James, she'd upset Dorcas, too.

"I know, but you know that's not what I meant," she countered, cradling her coffee cup in both hands. "I was desperate for Snape to leave me alone, but hanging out with James is...more than that. I really like spending time with him. He's such a sweetheart."

"Did you tell him that?" Dorcas asked pointedly.

"You want me to tell the guy I asked to be my fake boyfriend that I'm starting to like him for real?" Lily rolled her eyes. "Sure, that's not pitiful at all."

"How's it pitiful when he feels the same way?"

Lily sipped her coffee and sighed. "I'm not sure he does! He never talked like this would last past the reunion."

"Lily!" Dorcas cried, slamming her own mug onto the kitchen counter, sloshing coffee over the edge. "You are killing me! You think he hung out with you every day because he was just really committed to the gag? You think bringing you lunch at school, forty minutes from his house, had anything to do with the reunion? You think those heart eyes he gives you every time you're together is all part of an act?"

Her voice had been rising in pitch with each example she gave, but she shook her head and lowered it before she spoke again. "Jamie is a sweetheart," she said sternly, "and he can't help waving his feelings around like a damned flag. But when your feelings are out in the open like that, it just means they can get trampled more easily." Dorcas jabbed an accusatory finger in Lily's direction. "You trampled his feelings."

"I didn't think…" Lily blinked and trailed off. "How was I supposed to know?"

But even as she asked the question, she realized she knew the answer.

She had seen how James always prioritized her safety and comfort above all else. How important it was to him that they got to know each other, and how he never pressured her to share more information than she was ready to share. She recalled how much he seemed to hate that Snape had ever made her feel unsafe, and how ready he'd been to take her out to dinner, just the two of them, if she didn't feel steady enough to go to the reunion. Her heart swelled thinking about how he'd held her close as soon as he realized Snape was around, then immediately apologized for being too possessive because he would never want her to feel like he was trying to control her.

She thought about them testing each other, in theory to prepare for their debut as a couple, but really because each one wanted to know everything about the other. She remembered how easily she'd been able to tell that the thing he worried about most in this world was the people closest to him.

And she realized that, at some point along the way, he'd slipped her into that category.

"Shit." Her mouth slowly curved up in a smile. "He is a total cinnamon roll, isn't he?" She shook her head affectionately, then frowned. "I guess I just thought—he was doing me a favor. You're the one who told me he would love playing a role, and he always made it a point to remind me it was fake. I thought he was worried I'd get the wrong idea because he was being so nice."

"I think it was the opposite," Dorcas said, scrunching up her nose. "I think he didn't want you to think he had the wrong idea." She raised her eyebrows and added, "Plus, you came to him in a vulnerable place, you know? He wouldn't want to pressure you."

"Oh, God, you're right," Lily moaned, setting down her coffee mug. "He really went out of his way to make me feel comfortable this whole time! And now he probably thinks I just didn't even care, like I just threw him away when I didn't need him anymore!"

"That is sort of how it looked," Dorcas pointed out.

"Ugh, I know." Lily chewed on her lip. "I have to talk to him. But how do I even get him to call me back?"

Dorcas picked up her phone with a confident smile.

"I don't have an answer to that, but I know who will."

…

Sirius strolled into the Starbucks around the corner from his and James' apartment, narrowing his eyes as he approached the table where Lily and Dorcas were seated.

"Hey, cuzzo," Dorcas said, standing up to greet him with a grande soy latte in hand.

"Squirt," he said solemnly, giving Dorcas a hug. She elbowed him in the ribs, and he grinned very briefly before turning to Lily with a frown. "Red. I'm not sure I'm speaking to you."

Lily cringed. "Is he really mad at me?"

"He's hurt," Sirius said, taking the latte from Dorcas and sitting down across from Lily. "He likes you, like likes you likes you, and you used him. And he thinks he can't even tell you that without sounding like that creep you're running away from."

"I'm not running away from anyone! And I wasn't trying to use James," Lily snapped. Then she blinked in surprise. "Wait, he thinks he's acting like Snape?"

Dorcas threw up her hands. "You're both useless. What kind of fools are too nice to tell each other they like each other?"

"So you are into him?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I mean, yeah," Lily said. She felt her cheeks flush. "But I thought he was doing me a favor as a friend, you know? I didn't want to make it weird."

"I knew it!" Sirius exclaimed. He sighed and rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "OhmyGod, you had me doubting my instincts for a minute."

"You already knew I liked him?"

"Obviously," Dorcas said.

"Obvious to us," Sirius corrected, smirking at Dorcas. "Jamie's totally blind when it comes to Red." He turned back to Lily with a frown. "Plus, last night you told him you didn't need him around anymore."

"Ugh, stop reminding me! That's not what I meant at all," Lily wailed. "I totally messed this up."

"You really did," Dorcas said, nodding vigorously.

"Yup," Sirius agreed. "So how are you going to fix it?"

"I don't know!" Lily said with a helpless shrug. "He won't talk to me." She bit her lip and looked up at Sirius hopefully. "But I was thinking maybe you could talk to him for me?"

"Oh, no," Sirius said, shaking his head. "You've been ignoring my brilliant advice this whole time. I will not just talk to him for you. If you want my help, you're going to have to do it my way."

Lily huffed out a breath. "What's your way?"

Sirius looked delighted that she'd asked. "The time has come for a grand gesture."

"Um, okay." Lily blinked, then nodded slowly. "What if I put all my feelings in a letter—" she felt herself blushing at her own lameness "—and read it to him?"

"Eh," Sirius said, tilting his head as he considered her, "Very Lara Jean* of you, for sure. But no." He shook his head. "Not big enough."

"Do Notting Hill!" Dorcas exclaimed. She twisted her hands together in her lap and turned puppy-dog eyes on Lily. "I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him—"

"Still not big enough!" Sirius sang.

Lily rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Well, we're not in New York, so I can't have him meet me at the top of the Empire State building to confess my love."

Sirius laughed and slapped a hand on the table. "No, but bless you for suggesting it! Can you imagine? I'd die."

"So would I, probably," Lily said. She laughed and shook her head. "Shit, this is terrifying. But he's worth it, right?" Her eyes searched Dorcas' and Sirius' faces for reassurance, but she didn't wait for an answer before she nodded. "I know he is. So, help me do something big."

"Yes, Red! That's the spirit!" Sirius' eyes lit up. "OhmyGod, I have the answer. 10 Things I Hate About You! It's perfect."

"What?" Dorcas scrunched up her nose. "Write him a sonnet?"

"Ew, no. I mean, I guess, if you want." Sirius furrowed his brow and waved his hand as if shooing flies. "But that is not the grand gesture of the movie."

"Oh, God," Dorcas said, awe in her voice. "But where the hell are you gonna find a marching band?"

"Oh, God," Lily echoed, her eyes going wide.

"We don't actually need a marching band, that's not the point of this particular gesture," Sirius said cheerfully. "The point is to create a very public display of affection."

"Very public," Lily said faintly.

"The best grand gestures are." Sirius raised his eyebrows and shrugged. "So, how 'bout it, Red? You ready to sing your heart out for love?"^

…

When they filed into the community center an hour later, Lily felt like her heart actually might leap right out of her chest without her singing a single word.

You're fine, she told herself sternly, but even her internal voice seemed shaky. You can do this. For James.

She took a deep breath and counted to five before exhaling through pursed lips.

And for me.

"You got this, Lils," Docas said, echoing Lily's own thoughts. She reached out and rubbed Lily's back. "Don't pay attention to anyone but Jamie."

Instinctively, Lily scanned the room for him. But unlike her usual surveillance exercise, this time, when she found her target, her face split into a glowing smile.

James was in the middle of a game of three-on-three, dripping sweat with a look of fierce concentration on his face. As Lily watched, he pivoted quickly to block his opponent's progress towards the basket and reached out a long, muscular arm to swipe the ball away. He looked strong and coordinated and athletic, his fluid-yet-precise movements only mildly reminiscent of the silly young man who'd entertained her on the dance floor last night. He was totally in his element out there, and Lily found it hard to stop staring at him.

Not least because he looked really hot.

But she wasn't there to watch – she was on a mission. She turned away from the game and began walking towards the bleachers along one wall of the gym.

She didn't think James had noticed her yet, and she preferred it that way, for now. She'd have his – and everyone's – attention soon enough.

She climbed to the third row of the bleachers and walked to the middle of a bench. "Is this good?" she asked, glancing at her compatriots.

Dorcas nodded, bouncing excitedly on her toes.

"It's perfect," Sirius agreed, teeth bared in a wild grin. "You ready?"

"Not really," Lily admitted, with a nervous laugh. "But let's go."

She turned on the hand-held microphone Sirius had given her, and Sirius and Dorcas took their positions behind her. Then Sirius pressed something on his phone, and the opening strains of "Can't Take My Eyes Off of You" poured from the speakers. Lily glanced back and saw him and Dorcas swaying in a gentle two-step. Dorcas gave her a thumbs-up, and Lily took a deep breath and began to sing.

"You're just too good to be true," she murmured into the mic, slightly off-key. A few of the ball players turned around and stared at her. "Can't take my eyes off of you…"

"Louder!" Sirius ordered in a stage-whisper.

Her face warmed with embarrassment, but Lily raised her voice and kept going. With his opponents distracted, James made an easy lay-up. Then he, too, turned his attention to the concert happening on the bleachers.

He froze when he saw Lily. She heard Dorcas giggle, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw one of her back-up dancers wave in James' direction. He began walking towards them with a bewildered look on his face.

"At long last love has arrived, and I thank God I'm alive—" Lily cringed as her voice cracked, "—You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you…"

James was right in front of her now. She kept singing, her eyes searching his for anger, approval, disappointment, forgiveness – anything. Anything but that blank stare and awkward silence.

And then his lips began to twist upward, his crooked smile spreading across his face, and Lily let out a giggle of pure joy.

It was hard to sing while smiling as hard as she was, but Lily tried for a few moments more. "But if you feel like I feel, please let me know that it's real…" she trailed off then looked at him with pleading eyes. "Are you gonna make me sing the whole thing?"

His lips twitched. "What if I say yes?"

Lily sighed and rolled her eyes, the smile never leaving her face. She listened to the music for a second, took a deep breath, and belted, "Oh, pretty baby! Don't bring me down, I pray! Oh, pretty baby, now that I've found you, stay, and let me—"

Her song turned into a squeal as James wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down from the bench she'd been using as a stage.

"You're just too good to be true," he said, touching his forehead to hers as he set her on the floor.

Behind them, Dorcas pretended to retch.

"Oh my God, I'm not. I'm a terrible singer," Lily said. Without her mission to distract her, she was suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that all activity in the gym had ceased. She glanced around out of the corners of her eyes and laughed nervously. "And everyone's staring."

James looked up, and his smile widened. "Well, yeah. I can't believe you did this. You hate people staring at you."

"That is still true, for the record," Lily mumbled, and it felt perfectly natural to bury her face in James' chest, not even minding the sweat as he wrapped his arms around her. She tilted her head back to look at him and gave a small shrug. "But I accidentally embarrassed you, and made you think I didn't care, in a very public way last night. The least I could do was tell you how much I do care in an even more embarrassing, extremely public way."

"Look at you." James chuckled and beamed down at her. "You're just facing all your fears this weekend, huh?"

"You make me want to," Lily said with a soft smile, and suddenly her eyes were wet. She closed them and sucked in a deep breath, trying to hold back the wave of emotion swelling inside her. "You make me brave."

"Nah," James said, shaking his head. He brushed a tear from the corner of her eye with his thumb. "I told you before, you were already brave."

"Maybe. But I didn't feel like it." She tried to swallow the lump in her throat. "I thought I needed you as a shield, and it turns out, I don't. I can face things on my own. But what I didn't say at the reunion, what I should've said, is I can do it on my own, but I don't want to. Everything's better when you're with me. Not because I need you there, but 'cause I want you there. And that feeling's not fake."

She felt James stiffen slightly in her arms. "You mean it, Evans?" he asked tentatively.

Lily pressed her face into his chest again, muffling her words. "You think I'd sing in public if I didn't?"

"Good point." He stooped and slid his arms around her waist, then picked her up and twirled her around. She giggled, and Sirius let out a loud whistle as the rest of the gym patrons burst into applause and cheers. James grinned and kissed Lily's forehead as he set her back on the floor. "So…what happens now?"

"Well," Lily said, and she was surprised to find she was still nervous, "I was hoping you'd go out with me? For real this time?"

"Oh, absolutely." James' eyes were bright with happiness. "At this point, I think we owe it to Sirius to give our story a happy ending."

Lily laughed. "Well, in that case," she said, her smile mischievous, "what's a romantic comedy without a kiss?"

"Okay, I see you, Evans," James said, smirking. "One taste of the spotlight and now you're an exhibitionist. I like it."

"Oh, my God." Lily buried her face in James' sweaty shirt once again, partially because he was embarrassing her, and partially just because she could. He was here, as comforting and solid as ever – and he was hers. This was real. They were real.

Maybe we always were.

She lifted her face towards his and smiled. "Shut up and kiss me, please."

"With pleasure," he murmured, just before his lips met hers.

The Beginning.

...

AN:

*Lara Jean is the protagonist of To All the Boys I've Loved Before, and she writes her fake-turned-real boyfriend a letter at the end of the book/movie.

^If you've never watched Heath Ledger perform "Can't Take My Eyes Off of You" in 10 Things I Hate About You, please head to video streaming platform of your choice and do that immediately. It is, in my humble opinion, the Grandest Gesture to have ever been gestured (although if there are others you love, feel free to share in reviews or messages because I do love a rom-com 😊)!

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, lovelies, for sticking with me through various delays! Hope you loved this as much as I do. It was super fun to write – although, now I feel like I need a whole story of the James-Sirius-Dorcas sibling-esque relationship? And to explore Marlene's character, and Mary's some more? AND THERE'S NOT EVEN ANY ACTUAL REMUS IN HERE! Maybe I'll come back to this AU, lol. But it's done for now, and I really do love it – and that's in large part because knowing YOU have enjoyed it makes my entire day! You all are the best. Thank you for reading and commenting and just being wonderful! Xoxo, Veronica