Naruto Uzumaki & The Legend of the 36 Chambers

"Ya best protect ya neck."

- RZA

…

Chapter One: The Shaolin Prophecy

…

"Crap!"

Another explosion.

Jiraiya shook his head; this kid was the hardest pupil to figure out that he'd ever had. "For someone so damned simple, Naruto sure is a tough nut to crack," The aging Sannin pondered, watching as the blond boy fought against three of himself once more. "I might just have to get help if he wants any chance at beating the Akatsuki."

Naruto was flung into a tree, smacking against it with a loud crack! Jiraiya winced. He'd have to get a medic to check out his back out later.

"Alright kid, that's enough," He sighed. Naruto popped back up, his whole outfit dirty, torn and sweaty and his golden hair damp and drooping. "No way, Ero-sensei! I can keep going, check me out!" He insisted eagerly.

One failed attempt at standing later, Naruto was draped across Jiraiya's shoulders, out cold. He had to give props where it was due, the kid refused to put anything but his all into training.

Upon reaching their hotel, he ungracefully dumped his pupil onto his bed. He sighed sadly, "Ah, Minato… if only you were here. You'd be a much better teacher than me for him."

The toad Sannin got into his own bed with a grunt, grateful to finally get some rest. The two of them had traveling to do early in the morning, so rest was crucial.

"It's a good thing the brat learned the Rasengan the first year or we'd be in some deep stuff," He thought, scrunching up the cheap blanket close to him. Damned low budget hotels. "Maybe the solution's easier than I think…?"

Jiraiya laid in deep thought for a long while, trying to think of anything that could help along Naruto's training. A few moments later, sleep had finally claimed his mind.

…

Around seven in the morning, the two finally reached their next destination. Naruto was uncharacteristically quiet and introspective for the majority of the trip. Jiraiya would've said something, but once they made it to the village, he found himself nervous and quiet as well.

There was a reason the Village Hidden in the Fog had it's name. There seemed to be a never-ending billowing smoke that surrounded everywhere they could see. The buildings were tall, taller than anything the toad sage had seen before, and that was saying something considering his traveling history. Masses of people were either walking around busily or standing around talking amongst themselves, but the silence felt almost palpable.

"Something about this place doesn't seem right..." Jiraiya thought, glancing around. He turned to Naruto, who was walking aimlessly with an unfocused look in his eye. Usually the only time he got like this was when he was talking with the Kyuubi but he would always be stationary.

"Naruto?" Jiraiya called. No answer. Suddenly the already deafening silence grew to a complete lack of sound. In their walking, they'd somehow come upon a smooth stone enclosure that was open at the front where they stood. In it, a wooden holster held a thick black scroll that looked untouched by human hands.

His student was reaching out towards and his fingertips were just about to make contact with it. Suddenly a little village girl shot out of the crowd and grabbed it, yelling "No!". That seemed to snap his golden-haired apprentice out of his stupor. Naruto looked around wildly, disoriented.

The girl breathed a deep sigh of relief. She bowed deeply at the waist towards the two traveling ninja. "I apologize for being so rough. The Shaolin Scroll is sacred." She looked back at the scroll with a shudder. "Every man who's touched it has gone insane."

Naruto whitened considerably. Jiraiya's eyebrows rose in interest, "So what's a cursed scroll doing all the way out here in a village like this?"

The girl stood up straight proudly, "The Shaolin Scroll is our village's greatest secret; not even the ones who founded the village know where it came from."

Naruto was still staring at the black scroll. "Shaolin… where's that come from, anyways? I've never heard any name like that before."

The village girl shrugged, "Like I said, it was here before we were. We're just as in the dark as you."

Jiraiya's danger senses, honed and hardened from years as a shinobi, were ringing loudly in-between his ears at a glance at the scroll. Deciding it was more trouble that it was worth, the Toad Sage chose not to mess with it. "Alright, alright, c'mon brat. Enough with the urban legends, we got training to do."

Naruto groaned and followed his master into a nearby motel to drop their stuff off. This one felt like it was gonna be a long session.

…

Later that night, once again draped across his teacher's shoulders unable to walk, Naruto's thoughts drifted to the strange-looking scroll that plagued his thoughts the whole time he was training. "What was it about that spooky old scroll that made me wanna grab it?" He questioned himself. "Meh, maybe I shouldn't worry about it too much. It's probably just a story made up to scare little kids."

After being dropped unceremoniously onto his side of the room, Naruto plopped his head onto the stiff pillow. Training always left him dead tired, but it was a good tired. "I'll definitely get Sasuke back if I keep training the way I do!" The young man thought, determined. Not a minute later, sleep claimed him.

…

Late in the night, Naruto woke in a cold sweat.

"Go to the scroll," a voice in his head gently commanded. He knew it wasn't Kurama from the voice, but the compulsion to go to the cursed site was too great. With a silent leap out of the window, the blond slowly walked towards the stone enclosure, unaware at the amount of fog building up around him.

"Read from it," The voice commanded again. Naruto very hesitantly reached out, fighting the urge as best he could; if he touched this thing there was a chance he would lose his mind. And once that was lost, Kurama's chakra would overtake him and potentially kill everyone in this village.

But even with these thoughts, Naruto's hand shot out and grabbed the scroll.

Breathing in and out heavily, Naruto began to unfurl the scroll. More fog swirled around him, swallowing his whole form until only the shadows were visible from the outside from the bright yellow lights shining against him.

Naruto, still unsure if he still had all of his marbles, started to read. The voice that commanded him took over his regular voice.

"In the days of old, there were protectors of the land designated by Kami himself to help keep balance.

Originally, there were nine; but as time went on, one was called to split apart to maintain peace in another land. And so there were eight.

While not all of them were kin, together they were as close as any family.

The eight all possessed different abilities, and when together there was no evil that could hope to prevail. Learning under the wise, ancient teachers of the Shaolin, the eight protectors took on a new name to fit their new style:

The Wu-Tang Clan.

The protectors were known only under their titles: the Razor, the Genius, the Bastard, the Inspector, the Chef, theU-God, the Ghostfaced Killer & the Method Man.

"For the one who is able to unlock this scroll's message, please heed my words; there are seven more to find before the secrets of the Wu-Tang and the Shaolin can be revealed.

If this scroll has been opened, then the land is once againin terrible danger. The Wu-Tang are the world's only hope of survival.

But know this; the Wu-Tang can never be taught. It must always remain a secret within the Clan.

Peace and good travels, Method Man. And always remember; Bring the Ruckus & Protect Your Neck."

The scroll rolled itself up and closed up, rapidly dispersing the fog around Naruto and dimming the golden light glowing around his figure. Naruto's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he passed out cold.

…

"...-it? Kit! Wake up!" A loud, gruff voice woke the blond up. He sat face to face with the Nine Tailed Fox, the Kyuubi, known better to Naruto as Kurama the Grumpy Old Fox.

Naruto rubbed the tiredness out if his eyes. His body seized up as he recalled what had happened to him. He looked down and found the scroll still locked in a vice grip in his hands.

"Kurama?" Naruto breathed quietly. "What the hell is going on?"

Kurama shook his head behind his cage, "Beats the hell outta me, brat. Whatever happened to you out there did a number on your chakra system."

Naruto looked up and noticed the pipes leading into Kurama's cage, normally bright blue or angry red when Kurama's chakra was running through them, were now a bright golden yellow that lit up Naruto's mindscape like his body's own personal sun.

"What happened to me?!" Naruto exclaimed fearfully.

"Relax, man. All it did was prep your body for the new abilities you're about to get," a gruff, foreign voice echoed. Naruto backed against Kurama's cage in a solid stance, glancing around the area. "W-who's there! What is all of this?" The blond yelled.

From the water on the ground rose a man. He was tall, dark-skinned and broad shouldered. His hair was fastened to his head in small rows and sprung up behind him in strange coils and squiggles. He was dressed in civilian clothes, but they weren't any kind of clothes Naruto had ever seen before; the man was dressed in a big black coat, jeans and untied wheat-colored boots. Brown eyes stared into Naruto's ocean blues curiously, thick black eyebrows quirked. The stranger grinned, showing off a mouthful of silver teeth with elongated canines.

"Yo."

Naruto and Kurama blinked, standing stock still. "This guy is way to casual, especially with how he just popped in here..." The blond thought uneasily. "Uh, hey. Can you tell me what just happened?"

The man rubbed his nose and nodded, "Yep. You just became the second in a line to take on the Method Man name, kid."

"And who might you be?" Kurama questioned.

The stranger looked up and flashed a cocky peace sign, "The original Method Man. But y'all can call me... Tical."

…

Yeah, I totally messed up the timeline but that's cool, 'cause I'm gonna have fun with this one. Lemme know how y'all like this.