APOV

Five years later.

I could hear his laughter, see his little head as he weaved through the crowd, his destination the elephants that sat in the middle of the midway, his father too.

Trying to keep up with Theodore was a task all of its own in this large circus, what with my leg that still slows me down and my growing stomach that I tried not to bang into any of our guests with as I slowly caught up to my son.

Theodore was nearly four, his birthday happening while we were at our next stop, the closest town to my mothers home. We had planned it that way so she could spend it with him, with all of us and then like she has done many times in the past few years, she would travel on with us.

Finally stopping in front of the elephants, I could do nothing but laugh as Mud held Theodore upside down by his leg. The whole circus ground could hear my sons laughter, most other children wanting their turn too. There would be no others though as that pleasure is only reserved for my son.

"How did you like shopping" Christian asked Theodore as I received a kiss from him and a sniff from Fleur who's trunk came searching for treats.

"It was fun Daddy, Mommy found me something for my birthday but she gave it to Auntie Elena to hide so I could not see it," Theodore told him as Mud lowered my son down into his father's arms.

Seeing my boys together always brings a smile to my lips. They are so alike, not just in looks but in temperament too. Both have a beautiful kind heart, both can command an animal in or out of the ring and both are especially protective of me.

"What did you buy," Christian asked wrapping his arm around my waist once he had put Theodore down who was now speaking to Luke while being sniffed by all the elephants around him.

"I found him a train, although not as colourful as our own, it does look a little like it though."

"He will surely love it," Christian told me, his hand immediately resting on my stomach. "Are you still up for going in the ring?" he asked me.

"Now or in Eatonville."

"Eatonville" he replied.

"Yes, despite my condition and my lame foot."

"You are not lame" he interrupted, placing a kiss to my lips.

"My lazy foot then, I do actually feel safe up there."

I have had none of the sickness I had with Theodore which is a blessing for everyone who gets close while I'm spinning around. I continued later in my pregnancy with our son once I was over the sickness, so I do not see why I cannot do my final show, for a while anyway when my mother is around.

I felt a trunk on my shoulder then, turning to see whose it was. Once upon a time, I would have known it was Daisy but now with three elephants, I needed to look.

"Are you alright boy?" I asked, rubbing my hand along Mud's trunk and face. Received a loud trumpet from him followed by Daisy's and a tiny one from Fleur, I believe that was my answer and they were all fine.

We or should I say I purchased Mud about six months after we were back on the rails, touring the country with a new top once again. We had spent months in New York while everything was fixed, packed houses every night in the building that Carrick had found for us to use. The country beckoned us though, the open spaces, the fresh air so when the decision was made that we would be travelling again, no one cheered more than my husband and me.

Mud is a couple of years younger than Daisy and came to us like most of the animals did from another circus. We had actually been approached by the ringmaster of that circus, asking if they could buy Daisy from us as a mate for their bull. My No I think was the loudest of all, I would not let them take her away from me.

It was me who made them an offer, an offer they could not refuse, startling them that a woman, especially one as young as me should have the funds I was offering. They laughed at first until my overprotective husband got in their faces, his booming voice soon making them quiet.

I not only purchased Mud but his animal car as well. And as a result of bringing Daisy and Mud together, we are lucky enough to have Fleur too. She is a beautiful representation of her parents, a little like Cora I believe. She has her mothers grace and love of all that is around her and her father's mischievous traits too. So as our family has gotten larger over the year, our train seems to continue to grow too.

"Why is he called Mud," an older boy asked, seeing the large cape that both Daisy and Mud wore, their names written on both sides. Fleur, hers was quickly removed by her trunk the first time it was placed onto her back and stomped on, on the floor. "Stupid name" he continued.

Whereas Daisy likes to play with water, Mud likes to play with… mud. He rolls in it and has done so ever since he was a calf we were told by his previous owners. The boy before us was about to find out about his name because as if in slow motion, Mud picked up a pile of mud from the ground, throwing it at the boy and his snickering friends.

The boys got angry although those who were around them, laughed, the rude boy's father laughing loudest of all. His mother, she was one of those whose nose was so high in the air, I'm surprised she could breathe let out a shriek, not because her son was covered from head to toe in soft mud as we had had rain the night before, but because she had a few speckles of it on her dress.

"My apologies," I said, stifling a laugh, my husband not even trying to hide his.

"You did ask," Theodore said who was now holding onto Muds trunk and like a pendulum was being swung.

"How am I going to get him clean," the woman asked her husband. "He is not sitting next to me like that."

"He is fine," he told her. "He will long remember his visit to the circus, I certainly will" he laughed, shaking my husband's hand.

While guests continued to come and see the elephants, I stood to the side although Daisy's trunk was the one resting on my shoulder now. Despite our newcomers, we are still very close and most nights she is still my main act in the ring.

She has been good though, no jealousy when I bring Mud in for my finale. Despite Mud being bigger than her, Daisy is still the boss of him.

When we left the midway, heading back to the menagerie, Christian held my hand while carrying Theodore on his back. Behind us, all following in a line were our elephants, all who filed happily into the menagerie, passing the cats who like always were eager for attention too.

As if they know that I am with child, there is no pushing or pulling from them when I entered the cat's pen, saying my hellos. My days despite having Theodore now are still spent surrounded by the animals and none of us would have it any other way.

"Are you hungry son?" I asked him, knowing after not eating much for breakfast and an exhausting day of walking at my pace through the town, he would not only be hungry but tired. Receiving a nod of his head, we left Christian to tend to the animals making sure they were happy and fed, while I took Theodore to the cookhouse.

As soon as he entered, he practically jumped into his grandfather's arms before hugging his grandmother as well. He was eager to tell them about his day but I could tell his energy was waning when Elliot sat down and he did not jump onto his back.

"Is it showtime yet?" he asked his grandfather.

"I think it is your bedtime, never mind showtime" Carrick told him, kissing his grandsons head. "Your mother's too" he added as I tried to hide my yawn.

"I will be fine, I will rest when he does."

"Why not rest now and let us put him to bed," Carrick asked, "Or rest as much as you normally do."

I laughed at his words as he knows just as I that if I am not in the ring, or putting my son to bed, I am with the animals getting them ready for their night.

It was agreed that Carrick and Grace would put their grandson to bed, leaving me some time with my husband who entered the cookhouse all dressed ready for tonight's show, his first job though was to kiss his son goodnight.

"You have sweet dreams and I will look in on you tonight when I have put the animals to bed."

"And given the cats their boots," Theodore asked with a giggle.

"Yes, given them their boots," he said, hugging his son tightly before giving him back to his mother.

As Growler had lost his boot that day, a replacement was quickly needed. Others tried to give him something of theirs, something that would calm him after the fire but nothing, unless it came from me, would do. My boots were sacrificed again which were gratefully accepted and carried to his bed. I did notice Hera who had not received one the first time around, having thought it was not something she wanted, went and took one from him so as of this moment, all lions had smelly boots.

Watching Christian welcome the crowd and introduce each act in a show he had put together made me so proud of him. Even though Carrick was not ready to retire yet, he was happy to hand some of the reins over to his son. So Christian now is the showman in the circus on four nights of the week whereas Carrick does three. It suits us fine as it gives Christian nights off to put Teddy to bed, others, well when I do not spend my day dragging my son through a busy town, those days he will spend at his father's side, feeding the animals, riding them more often than not too.

My son, just like his father will have a childhood like no other. One filled with adventure, excitement, one filled with love and fun. I had seen children's faces when we arrived into towns, the excitement of seeing the animals, the shows. Our son gets to experience that every day and I know from his excitement as he runs to the menagerie every morning, there is no other place he would rather be.

"Do you want to go up?" Ariana asked as I stood in the back door, watching Clifford and Dotty with the other clowns in the ring.

"Not today," I told her, smiling as she was joined by Jose. "Soon though, very soon."

I watched them leave me, knowing they would be soon heading up to the roof of the top, the trapeze waiting for them. Myself, I turned towards the menagerie when I heard a trumpet ring out.

Entering, it was Daisy who wanted attention which I happily gave to her, joining her in her pen. After being lifted from the ground as usual, before carefully being put back down again, I smiled with what I saw at our feet.

Daisies, the field we had set up in must have been full of them but having been so busy since we arrived here nearly a week ago and most of them trampled by now, I had not noticed them before. Picking one of them up, I held it up to her but being so small she snorted it up her trunk.

"No" I giggled, as the daisy disappeared down her trunk before she blew it back into the air. Collecting a few of the daisies, I sat down and set upon the task of making a daisy crown for her. It took many daisies and quite a bit of time but by the time I had finished not only was Daisy wearing a crown of daisies but so was Fleur. With my own daisy crown upon my head, I led the elephants from the menagerie and towards the top where my husband was waiting to take them into the ring.

"You look more the part than me" Christian laughed, taking over control of the animals I had brought with me. "Are you sure you do not want to do the finale."

"No, I have been told to rest and I am resting" I giggled, knowing he would look lovely escorting the animals around the ring. "You can borrow my own crown if you think you will feel left out" I called out after him, hearing his laughter reach my ears.

As each act entered the ring, the applause grew to a deafening level, each cheer deserved for a job well done.

...

"I have not given you enough of these" Christian stated as we sat on the stairs of our train carriage, enjoying the calm that only a final night could bring.

"If I remember correctly when we spent those years apart so long ago, you told me each daisy represented a kiss. I receive your kisses every day, multiple times in fact. Those daisies that I still have, pressed into my book of poetry count for more than one kiss so I think we are still ahead on daisies."

"If that is the case then I am so happy that I get to shower you with kisses and daisies for the rest of our lives."

"Here you go," Grace said, passing Christian two steaming cups before she came to join our small group who were sat outside.

Jason was strumming on his guitar quietly, so quietly that sometimes it was hard to hear. We had told him constantly that he would not wake our sleeping son up inside but he still preferred not to try.

"Have you thought of any names?" Elena asked us.

"Not yet" Christian replied. "We are still getting used to the fact that Ana is pregnant again."

"She has a lovely large bump, one that has been growing for months, how long do you need to get used to it," Leila told him, laughing.

"Despite being kicked by Theodore, I don't think Christian really believed he was there until he held him in his arms," I told her.

"Your sickness was a clear indication last time" he teased.

"Yes and that sent you into a blind panic until we found out what was causing it."

"A husband is allowed to worry," he told me, placing a kiss to my forehead while his hand came to my stomach. "Holding Theodore in my arms for the first time though, falling head over bootstraps in love with that little man as soon as I saw his tiny face, I had to pinch myself that we had created this little perfect boy together."

"How could he not be perfect, looking at his parents," Leila told us, cuddling into Luke's side.

"What about you then, you have been engaged for over a year, are you going for the record of the longest engagement in this circus or are you planning on a family first" I teased them both, hearing Luke's laugh before he kissed his fiancée.

"No children first, although with the amount of practising we do, who knows. We were thinking about California, next year for our wedding. Maybe find a beach there to get married on, one that allows lions and elephants to run about. They all have to be there after all" Leila told us.

I laughed at her words, knowing a wedding of someone in the circus would not be right without us all there, animals included.

We continued to speak about their wedding, my thoughts going back to my own wedding day. We were married in a barn, one that is now twice the size and our home. We were surrounded by our family that day too, one that continues to grow all the time and one that will be growing again soon by the size of Bell.

"You look ready to drop girl," Susie told her.

"Tell me about it. I have a month left, I think I am carrying a baby elephant with the size of my stomach" she groaned, taking the seat her husband vacated.

"You could be expecting twins," Christian said, more to Elliot than Bell, enjoying the colour draining from his face.

"So could you" he hit back although his focus was on his wife as he sat at her feet.

I do admit that Bell is much larger than I was at that stage with Theodore but then again every pregnancy is different. We are in for some fun if the baby is two as he fainted at being told she was pregnant in the first place.

Climbing into bed that night, my body exhausted after a long day. Christian's arm came around me resting on my stomach, his front moulded to my back.

"Excited," he asked, placing a kiss to the back of my head.

"Mmm, very much so" I mumbled. "She will be staying with us until after Christmas Christian. I cannot wait to see my mother again, my aunt and uncle too."

"I know, we will be with them very soon."

A month is what my mother usually travels with us for but this time it will be so much more. As we are still travelling, only halfway through our tour this year she will be with us until after our baby is born and after then until the new year.

With happiness in my heart, I finally let sleep take me.

…

It took us three days to get to Eatonville, the whistle blowing as we entered town. It would be this evening when I would see my mother as although this town is where my aunt and uncle live and where my mother stayed once she left that man, the house she found, the place she now calls home is a few hours away from here. Unfortunately, no railroads pass her home otherwise we would have picked her up on the way.

Theodore was the first one off the train, who then ran up and down what will be our circus ground to stretch his legs. Do not get me wrong he loves being on the train, it is like he has a lot of energy to burn off once he is on the ground again.

"Do not go too far little man" I called to him, stopping his tiny feet in his tracks.

His mischievous giggle told me he would run as far as his little legs would take him though and that he enjoyed the chase.

Christian jumped down from the train and was soon off in hot pursuit, before pretending to fall to the ground as if he could not catch up with him. It soon had our giggling son running back so he could jump upon his father.

"I love them two together" Grace laughed as our boys rolled in the grass.

"Me too, so much" I agreed.

I kept Theodore busy while the big top went up. Letting the elephants out, both Daisy and Mud took a rope helping to hoist the top up while Fleur, she latched onto Daisy's tail.

"Pull, pull" Theodore shouted, giving instructions to all those that were around.

They know who is boss in this circus and it was the little man by my side.

"Mommy, can I ride Daisy."

"Not while they are putting the tent up sweetheart."

"No, in the welcome" he stated.

"If you wish, you will have to speak to your daddy and make sure that Daisy is going out there…. When the tent is up" I added, pulling him back to me so he did not run off to find his father and get trampled underfoot.

With the big top up and the menagerie close to being finished, I started to open up the cat's car and waited for the ramp to be put into place.

"I am ready now," Theodore told me from his place on Growler's back, a thing that made me smile.

"We agreed you could ride an elephant, not a lion," I told him.

"They are all my animals, although I do not want to ride the camels, they are too lumpy."

I laughed, watching as Christian called for the lions, all who took their turn on the ramp. He did not say anything upon seeing our son on Growler's back as it is not something new. Theodore is his father's son after all.

I do not doubt that if a new cub arrived, Theodore would be just like his father was with Growler when he was a cub. He would roll about in the hay with him, make sure he is fed, just like he does now.

As the lions paraded towards the menagerie, those that had come to watch gasped upon seeing my son on Growler's back. Theodore ever the showman that he was, waved to them before disappearing from sight inside the tent.

As I entered at my slow pace, Christian was picking Theodore up and removing him from Growlers back. Listening to his father instruct him to lay some hay down he was quickly doing that.

"Like father, like son," I told Christian with a smile, receiving one that was beaming back at me.

"My boy" he declared, watching our son make a bed for his pets, one he was soon laid in too.

"Theodore, you will need to clean up if you want to do the welcome," I told him later that afternoon.

"Coming Mommy," he told me before giggling when Cora gripped the back of his shirt.

"He will be back to play soon," I told her, rubbing my fingers through her mane.

Cora has grown so big over the years, so protective of her family too. She absolutely loves my little boy and I know there is nothing she would not do for him. Hera and Growler had another cub, a brother for Cora just a few years ago. He was born sleeping though, his mother nearly going to sleep too if the veterinarian had not been able to save her. He is in Bellevue now, sleeping his days away in view of the mountains that surround our home. We visit him when we are back there, letting him know that just because he never got to play in our circus, he is still free to play there.

Dressing Theodore up for the welcome, he wore his top hat and red tail coat, the same one his father had worn so long ago. I could tell by the smile on his face as he looked in the mirror he was proud to wear it. He is not the only one who is wearing something a parent had worn either as I myself wore the pendant my grandmother had given to my own mother when I was born.

"You look pretty Mommy," he told me, and like a gentleman, he took my hand. We were soon joined by my husband, our real showman who would be doing the welcome with us and leading us out.

"Is my mother here yet?" I asked him.

"No, not yet but I know it will be soon. Do not worry, she will come" he assured me, before placing a kiss to my lips. "Now, my young showman, are you ready to go and show everyone out there a little of what is to come."

"Yes daddy" he giggled before he was lifted into his father's arms.

Emerging from our carriage, the elephants were already waiting for us in the midway, all three of them ready to go. Grace was here also with two of the horses but as this was Christian's turn to lead, she would be following closely behind us.

As we approached Daisy, she lowered herself, getting down onto the floor. Rubbing my hand over her head in thanks, Theodore and I were soon sat comfortably before we started to rise.

We headed towards the open gate, Christian leading the way. We could hear the chatter greet us, the cheers and laughter too. All smiling faces I paid attention to, the miserable folk, they can go away.

As I rode Daisy, with Mud at our side, Fleur held onto her fathers tail. Luke and Elliot walked behind her making sure no one bothered the calf because despite bringing Fleur to meet the crowds, knowing a large one could quickly gather especially considering how cute she was, it would do no one any good if her parents felt there was a threat to their daughter as I know it would not end well.

"Are you offering lifts" we heard from our left side as we made our way down the main street.

"I was wondering where you were, I thought you were avoiding us" I called down to my uncle who started to walk with us, while we continued to wave to the crowd.

"No, I have been in court all day, dealing with the scum of the earth that will now be going away for a long time. Your aunt is around here somewhere, she went to meet your mother" he called up to me.

Hearing the word mother, my heart skipped a beat and the butterflies in my stomach grew. Add to that the little kicks I felt and I could not keep the smile from my face.

"Do you want a lift?" I asked, knowing Mud would happily lift him up in the air, something he has done before.

"NO, no my feet are perfectly fine on the ground" he laughed as he continued to walk by our side.

I looked all around, trying to find my mother as we continued our walk through town. My face and arm ached from all the smiles and the waves but it was worth it to see smiles returned from happy faces.

"Grandmother" Theodore shouted as we were halfway down the next street, one that would lead us back to the circus ground. "Grandma" he called out this time, waving madly as I tried to see through the crowd to where she was waiting.

I found her then stood by my aunt, both of them linking arms. It was me who was waving madly then as I wished away the tears that I knew in a moment would surely fall.

"Follow us in" Christian called out to my mother as we were approaching the gate. Our son was having none of that though, not wanting to wait until we were inside as his words rang out loud and clear.

"Daisy, down, Daisy, please get me down."

Holding my breath as her trunk came up, he gripped hold of it tight before she swung him down to the ground. His little legs were off running then as fast as he could before he jumped into his grandmother's arms.

I was so happy she waited where she did as once I was through the gates I was put down myself, my mother's arms soon wrapped around me tightly. I let the tears come then, blaming them on my pregnancy although tears always appear when we have been parted for a while.

Hearing the gates closed behind us, I paid no mind to the fact that those outside could see our display as I cried in my mother's arms.

"I have missed you," I told her, smiling brightly despite my tears.

"Oh, I have missed you too my girl, so much. How are you feeling."

"Very well, still no sickness this time."

"I am glad" she laughed, having been with me for most of my early pregnancy with Theodore and had held my hair back while I had vomited on more than one occasion.

She released me for a moment, hugging my husband before Theodore was back in her arms while I said hello to my aunt and uncle properly. Saying goodbye to the elephants as Luke took them back to the menagerie, we ourselves once Grace has spoken to my mother for a few moments, headed towards our carriage on the train which housed our family.

"Wow, it is a lot different in here than the last time I saw it," Tom said of what is now my families home.

"That would be because this was a shell last time you saw it as we had only purchased it in the weeks before" Christian told him.

I smiled looking around our carriage, enjoying the space and privacy it brings us. We had always shared the same carriage with Carrick and Grace but finding out I was pregnant with Theodore, we knew we needed more room. It was fine when he was a tiny baby in our room as we could just about fit in a crib but as he grew so did our need for space, a place of our own too.

Elena has our old room now, her own space away from the younger girls. Most of those girls had now found their own partners so things have had to be moved around too. We make it work though, mostly with the room that we have, if not, we just add on making the sight as our train snakes into a town just that more spectacular.

I made some tea as we spoke about what everyone had been up to while Theodore played with his toys on the floor. We also spoke about my act that I would be doing just the next night.

"Are you alright up there, being pregnant and all" Susan asked me.

"You mean, am I going to vomit as I spin."

"There is that" she laughed.

"I am as safe up there as I am on the ground, probably safer" I admitted, knowing that with the ropes, the animals I have with me and the straps that I hold onto on the hoop, I am safer than walking with my own feet.

"You will be standing though" Christian reminded me.

"I am," I told him excitedly as I thought of my newest act.

They all asked me what I was speaking about but they would just have to wait and see, for now, they joined us in the cookhouse for dinner, listening to thankfully my husband's and not Carrick's speech.

"QUIET DOWN YOU NOISY BUNCH" Christian shouted as Theodore added that everyone should shush. "THANK YOU, SON." He spoke, ruffling his son's hair. "OUR FIRST NIGHT IN A NOT SO NEW TOWN AS WE HAVE ALL BEEN HERE BEFORE. WE HAVE BEEN JOINED BY THE USUAL NATIVES, OUR FAMILY SO WELCOME ONCE MORE."

"Natives" my mother spoke laughing.

"AS ALWAYS WE ARE HERE TO ENTERTAIN AND BRING SMILES TO THOSE WHO VISIT US, WE ARE ALSO HERE TO HAVE FUN AND SEE HOW MUCH MONEY WE CAN SHAKE FROM THEM. I WOULD JUST LIKE TO THANK YOU ALL IN ADVANCE FOR THE GREAT SHOW WE WILL PUT ON, I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO THANK YOU ALL, MY WIFE, MY FAMILY ESPECIALLY FOR THEIR UNENDING SUPPORT AND KNOW THAT AFTER TOMORROW I CAN BREATHE A SIGH OF RELIEF AS IT WILL BE MY WIFE'S LAST TIME IN THE RING,"

"That is nice" I complained hearing everyone's laughter although I know he was really teasing me.

"IT WILL BE YOUR LAST TIME RIDING ELEPHANTS FOR A WHILE UNTIL AFTER OUR BABY IS BORN" He stated, before placing a kiss to my lips. "I KNOW THOUGH YOU WILL ALWAYS BE BY MY SIDE."

"That is debatable after that comment" I teased back hearing him bark out a laugh.

As he finished his speech, he took my hand into his brushing his fingers over my own. He is right, I will always be there for him just as he is for me.

…

"You sleep, dream of elephants and lions, a few camels too," I told my son, hugging him tightly before I relinquished him to my husband's arms.

Receiving a tired wave from my boy, Christian took him to his room, enjoying like always his chance to put his son to bed.

"Are you tired Ana?" my mother asked.

"Always but that is nothing new" I smiled.

Resting my head against her shoulder, I felt her lips against my hair like I had done so many times before. Having only one parent has never been a hardship for me as I have only had one parent since the day I was born. Up until I met Christian, she is the only family I had ever needed. I have a large family now, filled with those that I love. I even have sisters that care for me, brothers also and although none are related to me by blood, they are there for me, unlike the one I was related to. She just like her husband is rotting away, blamed not only for the fire but also that man's death. They might not have killed him directly but they are the reason he was there so the blame was placed on then.

I do not want to think of them though, I want happy and content thoughts and that is what I had as I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep, my mother's arm wrapped around me.

…

I woke to hear excited voices, those of my mother and son who were in the main part of our carriage. Like always Theodore is up as soon as it is light and having my mother here is no exception.

"Stay where you are" Christian whispered behind me, his front to my back.

Relishing these few moments together and knowing with my mother out there, we would not be disturbed for a while, I lifted my leg up over Christian's letting him know just where I wanted him to be.

Hearing a groan from Christian at my request, our moans as he pushed his penis inside me, I melted at his touch. Our lovemaking is usually saved for when Theodore was sleeping at night knowing once he is usually up, we are too. So having this opportunity for a few moments to enjoy my husband is too good to miss.

"You feel exquisite" he groaned behind me as his movements started to pick up.

We needed to be as quiet as we could knowing that our family was not far away but with explosions going off inside me when Christian hit that perfect spot, that was not possible so as not to scare my son, I pulled my pillow to my face, biting on it tightly as my body shuddered with my release. Hearing my husbands ragged breath, his groans in my ear, I know he had found his own release too.

"I love you" he mumbled, kissing my shoulder before I turned around to face him once he had removed himself from me.

Taking his face within my hands, I whispered my words of love to him before his lips met mine again.

…

"Final showtime Mommy," Theodore told me as I stood by the hoop waiting until it was time to go up.

"For a little while," I told him, kissing his mass of curls.

He was in my mother's arms at the moment, waiting for me to ascend to the roof of the top. They would then join my aunt and uncle who had already taken their seats.

"Are you ready Ana?" Jose asked me.

"Yes, I am ready to fly," I told him.

I would be in Jose's hands this evening, not being able to have Christian hold the rope as at this moment he was out in the ring ready to introduce me.

Taking my seat, I wrapped my hands in the top hand straps, ignoring the ones that were below it for the moment. They would come into play later in my act.

"I will be back soon," I told Theodore as I started to rise upwards.

I was soon high above the ring, seeing the elephants being brought in by Luke. All three were there but like always, Fleur sat in the middle while her parents circled the ring.

I giggled when I saw the elephants this day, all with a hat on their heads. The hats were not part of the act any more but as I saw Christian look up towards me, they were a nod to how far I had come.

As I started my descent, I watched as Fleur moved to the side while Daisy and Mud went into the middle, both staring up at me. They both raised their front feet in the air, bringing them together, their trumpets noisily shouting. Just like my husband had done only moments ago when he had introduced my act, they were announcing my arrival in the ring.

Cheers rang up around the ring, gasps too when I removed my bottom from the hoop, still holding onto the hand holds though, as I stood on their joined feet.

Like a pendulum they took turns to swing the hoop with their trunks then, my feet touching theirs no more. Sitting back in the hoop for a moment, I tightened my legs around it before falling back so I could move my hands to the straps below.

From then on, I hung from the bottom of the hoop as I continued to be swung. Despite being large trunks that moved me through the air, they were careful not to touch me.

My finale once the swinging had stopped was having one leg on each of their backs as side by side, they circled the ring.

There was probably a day in the past when I thought getting in a hoop was never going to happen never mind what I had just done now. As I stood on the ground, taking my bow and my cane from Fleur's trunk. I was proud of how far I had come, knowing I would have never got here without Christian and my mother's support, our family too who were stood with the rest of the crowd, cheering loudly.

I may have been born in a large grand house, I may have been hidden away for so many years but here in this circus tent, where I have not only found love and friendship but where I am finally able to breathe is where I belong. To find ones true self you have to look inside of you and I have done that so many times in the past. I know who I am, I know what I am able to achieve. I am proud of who I have become, me.

…

"Grandma, will you read me a bedtime story," Theodore asked tiredly as we all sat outside of our carriage, celebrating tonight's success.

The girls were shaking their booty for those that had paid to see it in their tent but besides them, all guests had left for the evening, hopefully, with smiles on their faces.

"Are you sure you will be awake for a story?" my mother asked her grandson.

"Yes, I am awake" he announced letting out a large yawn.

"Alright then, but how about I tell you a story instead of reading one," she told him, picking him up from his father's lap. Theodore was more awake now that he knew he would hear a new story instead of the books he had heard read a hundred times before.

Getting up myself as they did, I wanted to go inside and grab my shawl, feeling a chill in the air outside.

Having collected my shawl from my room, the same one my mother had made for me when I had finally found my true home, I stopped at my son's bedroom door, listening into the story my mother was about to tell.

"Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful princess who was locked away in the castle on the hill."

"Why was she locked away if she was beautiful," Theodore asked his grandmother.

"Her father was not a nice man, her sister ugly too. They were both jealous of her beauty and kind heart, thinking that if they kept her hidden from the world their ugliness would not shine through. Now one day a knight came to town, one who did not ride a horse but an elephant, a lion too. His heart was as pure as the princesses so when they met a strong bond formed between them, one that ugliness could never break."

"What happened," Theodore asked, excited to no doubt hear how the bad people were defeated, making my mother laugh when he asked if dragons were involved.

"No, no dragons were there, although the princess had met quite a few over the years."

"That is true" Christian whispered in my ear, his hands resting on my stomach.

I giggled, agreeing with that as my mother continued her story. She told her grandson that bad had been defeated and only good remained.

"Is Mommy a princess, my daddy a knight," he asked her as he finally lay down again while letting out a yawn.

"That they are" she agreed looking to us stood by the door. "The knight saved the princess making her so happy and in turn those that are around them too. He helped her to see that it was alright to be herself, even if that was being so different than everyone else. Knowing she had his support, mine too, she embraced the light, promising herself that she would never be hidden again. Do you know what happened next" she asked him as he struggled to keep his eyes open.

"No, what grandma."

"With her love of a little flower, a larger one too, she became a star."

~ The End ~

Thank you to everyone who has joined me on this journey and reviewed and followed me on the way. It has been a lot of fun to write.

I will be back with a new story once I have got all the details together of where I want it to go, so keep a look out for me.

Until then, take care.

Caroline