(Author's Note: A while back, I came across the story "Things I Am Not Allowed To Do In Power Rangers" by Michelle the Editor. If you haven't read it, go read it; it's hilarious. About halfway through, I started coming up with my own ideas, but found out I was a few YEARS too late to submit them. So, I used the ideas I came up with to write a few short stories.I don't own Power Rangers, the story "Things I Am Not Allowed To Do In Power Rangers", or "Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom".)

I am not allowed to film Com. Cruger or Isinia, and then send the footage into "Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom".

The room was silent, which just made the situation I was in that much more tense. I had been caught recording unauthorized video footage of Commander Cruger, and he didn't respond well to it. He responded even worse when he found out I had already recorded a bunch of video footage of him.

Now I was sitting in front of the SPD Base Disciplinary Committee. I would get the opportunity to plead my case, and hopefully lessen the punishment I would undoubtedly be receiving. Realistically, the best outcome I could reasonably expect was that I get a big, fat demerit on my permanent record, and get stuck doing the most wretched jobs around the base for the next few months. Worst outcome would be a dishonorable discharge, immediately followed up by a very long stay inside a containment card.

Commander Cruger, who was sitting front and center, was glaring at me. "Cadet Angel," he said, "do you know why you're here?"

Deciding that honesty was my best bet, I replied. "Yes, sir. I was recording videos of you and your wife without permission, sir." Commander Cruger looked surprised by that last part.

"My...wife?" I simply nodded.

"Yes, sir. How else are supposed to understand the species if we limit our observances to only one gender or the other?" Commander Cruger made a face like he just ate something that tasted really bad.

"I see. Thank you for that information, Cadet Angel. We were not previously aware of that, and will be taking it into consideration. Now, are these," he gestured to a stack of storage disks on a small table off to one side, "are all the copies of the videos you took?"

"Yes. No. Sort of." I could tell he didn't like my answer. The other members of the Disciplinary Committee didn't looked too thrilled either. Though, there were scattered looks of uncertainty, and nobody dared to speak up.

"What do you mean, 'sort of'?"

"Well..." I began, deciding that as I was already in this deep, I might as well go all the way. "I already sent a bunch of copies to "Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom"." The room fell silent once more, my audience stunned by this revelation. I plunged forward, opting to go out in a blaze of glory. "It was a rough cut, but I did try to hit on some of the bigger notes. I included stuff like patrolling your territory, your exerting dominance over subordinates, eating habits, mating rituals-"

"WHAT?!" That last item in particular had caught the Commander's attention, and he was now standing, hands slammed down on the table and teeth bared.

This is it, I thought. I've reached critical mass. Well, it can't get any worse now, so I should just say it.

"You know, sir," I said, trying to keep my voice from shaking. "If the whole Space Patrol-thing doesn't work out, you should really consider a career in amatuer porn. Some of the stuff the two of you did was really hot. Especially that thing you did with your tongue."

Once more, the room fell silent. Commander Cruger looking fit to explode, the other members of the Disciplinary Committee shocked and horrified, and as for me, I was quietly awaiting death.