79. The fight against darkness

Several heads turned towards the entrance of the kitchen when the front door banged open. Ginny had been half-asleep in a chair but jumped visibly as the noise ripped her out of a light slumber. Not even a moment later, Severus swept into the room with his cloak billowing around his legs. His expression was unreadable, black eyes flickering over the few people.

The Weasley twins were sitting at the table, exchanging glances now and then. For once, their faces showed not the slightest trace of amusement or mirth. Dark rings stood out in contrast to light blue eyes. Sirius Black was sitting at the head of the table, staring at the worn-out wood with creases of worry lining his features. Remus Lupin had raised his head from his hands and watched the other man with a weary expression, usually lively eyes looking rather dull. His shoulders slumped as soon as their gazes met.

"Severus–"

"Why am I here," Severus asked coldly. Again, he let his gaze wander through the room. His lips curled when he found his presumption confirmed. Arya was not there.

"Dumbledore didn't tell you," Lupin sighed and looked at the seemingly emotionless man. A muscle in Severus' jaw twitched and he narrowed his eyes slightly. Nobody noticed the subtle change in posture as Severus' body froze on the spot, the cold claws of fear slowly creeping into his heart.

"Didn't tell me what," Severus' voice had lowered to an almost threatening tone. Before anyone else could say anything, another door opened and Ron stepped through with a bowl in hands.

"Mum needs fresh water to–," he froze on the spot when he noticed his Potions Professor standing in the middle of the kitchen.

Severus was ripped out of his moveless state and flashing obsidian eyes flickered back to Lupin. The latter stood up from his seat with a heavy heart beating in his chest. He knew that Severus was by far not as untouched as he pretended to be. Lupin had not known how to send for Severus without raising any suspicions. So, he had contacted the Headmaster instead, stressing Arya's wish to send for him immediately. But, apparently, the Headmaster had not informed Severus of her condition. Lupin found himself at a loss for words under the intense glare of his former colleague. He did not know what to say without revealing the other man's secret. Before he could open his mouth, however, Severus rushed past him without another glance.

The dark-haired man was seething inwardly when he stepped into the living room but forced himself to remain as collected as possible. Severus stopped dead in his track when his gaze fell on the scene in front of him. Harry was sitting in an armchair with his elbows resting on his knees and his chin on his folded hands. With a defeated expression he kept staring at the crackling flames, seeming deeply lost in thoughts. Severus' gaze flickered briefly over the hunched figure of Hermione who was sitting on the floor next to Molly Weasley.

Severus' heart dropped when he looked past Mrs. Weasley to the couch she was leaning over. The older woman was muttering something inaudible, but he could not focus on her. The only sound was the blood pulsating loudly through his ears.

There, on the couch, laid Arya. And she was not moving.

Automatically, his legs brought him closer and only then did Hermione notice him. Startled she turned her head to the rustling sound of robes. Severus flinched inwardly when he noticed the tears on her face. A heavy lump formed in his throat as the relentless coldness of fear spread faster and clenched his lungs. Breathing became suddenly very difficult and he felt terribly light-headed.

"Professor," Mrs. Weasley watched the younger man with a defeated expression. Her fist was clenching a dark cloth. Severus straightened his back and stared at the unmoving body on the couch. For once in his life, he was at a loss of what to do. He could not do what his heart so desperately wanted – not with them in the same room.

"Can you help her," Harry asked quietly, his gaze fixed on Arya's motionless form. Severus' gaze flickered to his student, his features contorting with pure disdain. Black eyes burned with sudden anger.

"Get out," he spat. He looked from Harry to Hermione who shrank visibly in her position. Severus' anger multiplied when he saw that Harry opened his mouth to argue. The boy was shorter than his Professor, nevertheless, he stood up and faced him with an infuriating determined expression.

Severus curled his lips, his body moving without his mind's consent. In less than a second, he had reached Harry and grabbed the front of his sweater. His eyes flashed dangerously, the darkest black Harry had ever seen and for the first time, he felt scared of his Potions Professor.

Time seemed frozen when Severus' fist gripped the fabric. He felt his hand tremble as he glared at his childhood enemy's child. How much he wanted to give in. His conscience tempting him with how easy it was to harm the boy in front of him. The boy who was the main reason Arya always ended up injured in the hospital wing. The boy who was certainly also the reason why Arya looked so terrifyingly lifeless.

Severus growled frustrated and pushed Harry brutally in direction of the door. The boy stumbled and barely managed to keep himself on his feet. His expression contorted with uncontrolled anger but Severus cut him off once more.

"Get out of here, Potter, or your godfather can scratch your body from this carpet."

With that, he turned to Hermione, but no more words were needed for her to understand the genuine threat. Wiping her cheeks, she cast one last look at Arya before hurrying to Harry and pulling him out of the room. The door closed behind them, a clicking sound locking the door.

Severus' heart was hammering furiously in his chest. Letting out a shaking breath he felt his fear surfacing as an overwhelming force once more. He whirled around and stepped to the couch. He ignored Mrs. Weasley who had moved to the head of the couch. His gaze fell on the cloth in her hand. What he had believed to be a dark fabric turned out to be stains of blood. Coldness overwhelmed his entire body when his mind was desperately trying to process what his eyes were seeing.

Arya's skin was deadly pale and her eyes closed. A thick blanket was covering her shaking frame. He cringed inwardly when Arya took a strained breath and coughed weakly. Her features contorted with pain before she took more rattling breaths. His eyes flickered over her body but he could not see an open wound nor any blood on her skin that could have explained the blood on the cloth. Without taking his eyes off Arya, Severus kneeled in front of the couch.

"Jackson," Severus said quietly, watching her face closely. Arya sighed and a muscle twitched over her jaw. "Jackson," he repeated louder this time. Seconds passed, seconds which felt like an eternity to Severus' heart. He remained frozen like a statue without blinking, not even daring to breathe.

But then, very slowly, Arya opened her eyes and blinked. A weary sigh escaped her lips and she furrowed her eyebrows. Another cough escaped her mouth. Severus felt his heart skip when he saw the young elb move. He wanted to hold her, tell her that he was there and would do everything to help her. His hand was itching as he wanted nothing more than to caress her cheek and hold her close to his body. But he could not. Not here. Not now.

"Look at me," Severus clenched his jaw, hating himself for what he was doing. Arya deserved so much better than being surrounded by all these useless people when she was obviously suffering. She needed someone by her side who truly knew her – like him or her brother.

Arya's blue eyes widened when she finally recognized the dark figure next to her. She drew in a deep breath that stopped abruptly when she coughed stronger this time. Her face contorted into a pained expression and the following breaths were torture for Severus' ears. Arya shifted with great difficulties, trying to untangle her arms from the blanket. Her eyes never left his face.

Severus did not see Mrs. Weasley's surprised look when he gently helped Arya to release her arms. For a moment the older woman forgot about all the worries concerning her husband, their children and Arya's brave deed. Her heart warmed when she saw the cold mask of the usually emotionless Professor falter slightly. Suddenly, there was warmth in these pitch-black eyes. Genuine concern had softened the usual hard, intimidating features. Neither did she miss the relief in Arya's dull eyes.

"I'm sorry," Arya said quietly, her eyes starting to water. Her pleading gaze never left Severus' face.

"Don't. There is no reason to apologise."

Severus' hand twitched in his lap and before he could stop himself, he was pushing strains of hair from her sweaty forehead. The tips of his fingers brushed pale, burning skin. Severus found that he did not care if Mrs. Weasley saw it. In fact, he had almost forgotten that she was there. He would deal with her later.

"I had to try. I needed to," Arya continued weakly, completely ignoring his words. Sighing, Severus pulled his hand back and Arya let out a frustrated breath. Another wave of coughs burned her lungs and made breathing almost impossible. There was so much she needed to tell him, but her body would not listen.

Severus' attention was suddenly drawn to her lips. In one corner of her lips had appeared a crimson drop that forced his heart to stop beating. But before he could do anything Arya was licking her dry lips, leaving them – to his utter horror, covered in blood. She had an internal bleeding. Mrs. Weasley reached out and gently cleaned her lips.

Arya did not seem to worry or care as she took several shaky breaths and started again. "I couldn't stand by… watch how my father destroyed another family… I'm dying anyway… The Weasley's… they're good people… The Wizarding World needs more people like them."

"I know," Severus replied softly. Every single word had hit him like the worst torturing curse. He swallowed the thick lump in his throat. He could not do anything but drink in her soft features, the way her hair framed her face, the pain in these blue eyes. Although she looked heartbreakingly sick, she was still the most beautiful being Severus had ever laid eyes on.

"I'm sorry," Arya whispered, her eyes closing against her will.

Severus cursed himself for letting his emotions take control over his mind. She was suffering and here he was, not doing anything to help. His jaw clenched and black eyes turned hard. With great difficulties, Arya opened hers again. It took her longer this time to focus but when her gaze flickered back to Severus, she felt frightened with the cold expression on his face.

"Why are you bleeding, Jackson?"

Arya's body trembled and she pressed her lips in a tight line. She averted her gaze but not before Severus had seen the flicker of pain in her eyes. He furrowed his eyebrows at her reaction, an uncomfortable feeling was settling in the pit of his stomach – a feeling he recognised to be growing dread.

"I know this serpent and I know the effects of its venom – internal bleeding is not one of them so answer my question, elb," Severus pushed further but a quiet whimper was the only answer he received. Severus hissed as his fear threatened to come to the surface. "How did you heal Arthur Weasley?"

Arya did not answer and Severus felt more and more frustrated and helpless. What was so terrible that she would not tell him? He did not dare to touch her – too afraid that his touch would free the emotions he was desperately trying to keep hidden. His gaze flickered rapidly over her face, trying to think of any reason that could frighten her so much. He clenched his hands to tight fists to keep himself from touching her.

"Damn it, Jackson, look at me," Severus growled but the young elb closed her eyes. Instead, he felt the confused gaze from Mrs. Weasley on him.

His heart was hammering so loudly in his chest that he almost missed the whispered words. Next to him, Mrs. Weasley drew in a sharp breath. Severus frowned at Arya's face, asking himself whether he had not perhaps misunderstood her or the Headmaster's words concerning Arthur Weasley's condition.

"What did you just say," he asked softly and stared at Arya's shaking form. Something bothered him about her condition – it seemed so awfully familiar, yet he could not say why.

"I didn't," Arya interrupted his thoughts, her voice barely louder than before. Only then did she turn her head with great difficulties. Her pleading eyes were staring straight at him as if they wanted to tell him something. Severus swallowed the forming lump in his throat, his thoughts rushing through his mind and trying to make sense of this entire situation.

"What do you mean you didn't heal him," Severus asked sharper this time as frustration flooded his mind. "According to the Healers in the hospital, the venom has vanished from his system, although it was quite obviously your doing. So, what are you imply-"

With wide eyes, Mrs. Weasley stared at the Professor who had turned rigid in less than a second. Fear settled in her heart when she saw the appalled expression on his face. Arya felt as if she had to vomit, so hard were her insides being clenched by an invisible force. Severus looked as if he was facing his most terrible nightmare. Arya would have sobbed if her body had had the strength to do so when his eyes suddenly met hers – black eyes filled with so much fear and pain that she hated herself for being the reason.

"No… No, this cannot–," Severus whispered softly as coldness enwrapped his body like a second cloak. Memories flashed through his mind – memories of another elb he had met many years ago. The brief images stopped and his mind sharpened. The next breath hitched in his throat as he stared in Arya's pained eyes. "Tell me you didn't transmit the Dark Magic to your body."

Arya closed her eyes and groaned as a new wave of burning pain rushed through her body. She wished she would lose consciousness as not to see Severus' pain.

Severus furrowed his eyebrows, forcing himself to remember the symptoms Leya had shown after she had been forcibly given the Dark Mark. She had lost her strength in only a few days. Like Arya, she had had a fever, cold sweat and had suffered immense pain. But there was one symptom that Leya had not shown.

"Jackson, why do you have an internal bleeding," he asked again. This time, Arya did not turn away. She opened and closed her mouth several times. The fear in her eyes turned Severus' insides to burning flesh. Desperation overwhelmed his soul and his expression softened. This could not be happening.

"I'm sorry. I'm… I'm so sorry," Arya whimpered quietly, single tears were rolling into her hair. Her entire body was trembling as her eyes searched for Severus'. "I… I tried to stop – Asked them not to – I couldn't–"

Severus' heart clenched when he saw the desperation in her eyes. He wanted nothing more than to pull her to his chest and tell her that everything would be alright soon. But that was a lie. Arya would not be alright. Her mother, Leya, had died because of the Dark Magic in her system. His mind snapped back to focus on the young woman in front of him as she kept whispering the same words.

"Potion… Bleeding… It's a potion."

Severus' entire body grew tense. His mind seemed to have woken from its numbness and was sharper than it had been the entire day. The one word was enough for his heart to shove every feeling that would prevent him from thinking rationally back behind his cold mask. His fear and pain were replaced by blazing fury as he glared at Mrs. Weasley.

"What potion," Mrs. Weasley frowned at the rapid change of emotions. Severus narrowed his eyes at her and snarled. "Who gave her this damned potion?"

A mere whisper cut through his rage like a knife. Severus looked down at Arya only to find her staring at him with a very pained expression. "Sirius."

His fury seemed to multiply upon hearing the name. Anger and hatred were raging around his consciousness, leaving him in the quiet eye of his internal storm. Severus looked down at Arya with a hard expression.

"You will not close your eyes or even think about sleeping, Jackson," Severus said coldly. "I swear I will curse you if you aren't awake when I return."

"Where are you going," Arya furrowed her eyebrows, panic evident in her eyes. She moved one shaking hand in his direction.

He could not reply. His heart felt as if it was being twisted agonisingly slow. Arya was struggling to keep her eyes open. Pearls of sweat had formed on her forehead. Frozen with fear, he watched as Mrs. Weasley wiped them away. Severus swallowed the thick lump in his throat and forced his emotions back behind the hard mask of cold indifference.

"Stay awake, Evandar," Severus' voice dropped lower with barely concealed fear. He looked into her eyes, drank in the pale features before standing abruptly. Then he turned to Mrs. Weasley, his features and voice more frightening than she had ever witnessed before. "Keep her awake – at any costs!"

There was no need for any more words. Molly Weasley understood the true meaning of his words. Without another word he whirled around and left in direction of the door. Never, in his entire life, had anything been more difficult than leaving the one person he loved the most. His body moved by itself whilst his mind was desperately trying to keep the horrifying picture of Arya dying – alone, without him by her side – out of his mind. She would not die! She could not!

The gentle clicking sound of the closing door behind him ripped him back to reality. Quickly, he was thinking about what Arya would most certainly need. His legs brought him to the kitchen cabinet where he stored his potions. He clenched his jaw when he felt the burning gazes from Harry and Black on his back. His frustration grew when he realised that the most important potions were not there. He had never brought Arya's elbish potions…

Growling, he banged the cabinet close and turned to the shelves. His eyes flickered over the different bottles before he finally grabbed the Firewhisky and a cup. A flick of his wand cleaned the bowl Ron had left on the table. Severus curled his mouth at the boy's lack of reliability. With every passing second, his annoyance and anger grew. He loathed them all so much. He would have loved to curse them if only that were Arya's cure. He could not fail her.

With shaking hands, he placed the cup, flask and Firewhisky in the bowl. His dark gaze flickered to the relaxed Sirius Black who was watching him with furrowed eyebrows. Severus' hand clenched around the wand in his pocket as he glared venomously at the other man.

"Which potion did you force her to drink, Black?"

Sirius tensed and his expression twisted to anger. "I didn't force her to do anything."

"Jackson told me otherwise," Severus spat dangerously. "Was her name written on the label of the flask or not?"

Sirius looked confused. "No, why should it? Do you keep count–"

"I will curse anyone who dares to touch this potion," Severus pointed at the flask he had taken out and glared at Lupin. The other man nodded which Severus took as his cue to leave.

"And where are you going now? Arya's in the living room," Sirius called him back. Severus whirled around, his entire body as tense as an arrow.

"Why Black, did you truly believe I would leave my valuable potions in your house? You cannot even read a label properly." Obsidian eyes turned darker with hatred.

Sirius' lips twitched and he glared at the other man. "We were just trying to help her. Which is much more than what you're doing at the moment."

"Sirius, that's enough." Remus interfered sharply and shook his head. Sirius raised his head and glared at his friend. With a dismissive hand-movement in Severus' direction, he let out an annoyed breath.

"He's in my house. I can do whatever I want. And I don't like him here or anywhere near Arya," Sirius snapped.

"Yet she's suffering because of you. I wonder who is the actual threat here," Severus replied waspishly. A provocative sneer appeared on his lips when Sirius jumped up. Turning around, Severus moved swiftly in direction of the door. Sirius' hands were clenched to fists at his sides and his eyes narrowed at the other man's back.

"And I wondered for years why you even care what happens to her. But now–," Sirius' expression darkened, black eyes flashing with burning loathing. "Why don't you admit that you're just keeping her alive to gain our trust. Arya might've been stupid enough to fall for it, but I know who you truly are. You're the reason her mother's dead. I'm sure you never told her the truth. Why else should she trust you!"

Severus had stopped dead in his track at the mention of Leya Evandar. His fists clenched painfully at his sides. The only sound was the loud rushing of blood in his ears. It took all the self-control Severus had ever mustered to keep his raging emotions from exploding. Muffled voices reached his ears.

"I don't care, Remus. Snape's never bothered to look after anyone else but himself. Lily and Leyanne, they both ended up dead because of him. Why can't you see that he's also using Arya? And now–"

Severus was seething with anger when he whirled around. He grabbed the front of Sirius' coat and threw him against the wall. Several surprised shrieks and scratching chairs were audible in the background but Severus ignored it. Sirius grunted at the sudden pain when his back collided brutally with the stone wall. Severus tightened his hold. A menacing expression had settled on his features.

"You don't know anything about me, coward. While you enjoy your unlimited free-time, I make sure your friends' sacrifices weren't in vain. You seem to have forgotten but your arrogant godson and his foolish friends are still breathing because of me."

Sirius growled and tried to get out of Severus' iron grip but he merely curled his lips.

"Would you two stop this! You're adults for Merlin's sake," Tonks exclaimed loudly and glared at the pair of them. "This is not the right time nor place for this nonsense. Aryanna needs help now!"

Severus felt his heart skip a beat when he processed her words. Arya was waiting for him. She was suffering whilst he was wasting precious time. Disgusted with himself and the other man, he pushed Sirius away from him and glared furiously.

"Right, you're the hero. Tell yourself whatever you need to sleep at night, Snivellus," Sirius spat in his face. Severus snarled venomously but turned away to leave. "You shouldn't forget that it was Arya who saved Arthur, not you. Now leave and do what you supposedly do best. And better make sure Arya doesn't end up like Leyanne or her sacrifice would've-"

Before anyone could react, Severus' fist collided hard with Sirius' face, crashing him onto the floor. Severus' rage held all the power of a wildfire. They could all see the flames of unbridled rage roaring in his eyes, ready to ignite anything that he came in contact with.

Instinctively Sirius raised a hand to his face and groaned. It turned into a threatening growl when he looked at his fingers, covered in blood. Severus squatted in front of him, grabbed Sirius' throat and pinned his head against the wall once more. It took Severus all the self-control he possessed not to choke the man. Nevertheless a dark satisfaction overwhelmed him when he saw the spark of panic in Sirius' eyes.

"Severus, stop," Severus could not remember that the wolf had ever raised his voice in anger before. "Severus!"

Sirius felt the grip on his throat tighten and growled with pure loathing. He fumbled for his wand but Severus was faster. With a menacing snarl, he pulled Sirius' wand out of his jacket and pressed the tip into the other man's cheek. A brutal, ferocious expression had settled on Severus' features.

"You know nothing, Black! I was there when Leya begged Dumbledore for help to escape the Dark Lord. I was there when she died. I swore to protect her daughter and until this day, I haven't broken my word. Pray you aren't the reason to change that because if Arya Evandar dies, I won't hesitate to wipe your poor existence from this world. And no one will get in my way to save your worthless life."

Flashing, black eyes with the promise of death glared in burning eyes. Severus lowered the wand threateningly slow before releasing Sirius' throat. With the grace and confidence of a predator, Severus stood and dropped the wand of the defeated man. Then he whirled around, not caring about his robes brushing Sirius' bloody face, and stormed out of the kitchen. He had wasted too much time!

The people in the kitchen stayed quiet for a long moment. Harry helped Sirius to sit at the table and Remus fixed the broken nose. Ginny and Hermione dropped themselves on the nearest chairs, fidgeting with trembling hands. Tonks flicked her wand to clean up the blood on the floor before taking a seat. To say that they were shocked was an understatement. Even Lupin had been surprised by Severus' reaction, although he could not deny that his best friend had stepped out of line with his provocative remarks.

For the very first time, they all understood how Severus Snape had been capable of being a Death Eater. Of course, the Weasley children, Harry and Hermione had experience with the cruel Potions Master. He was a man who knew how to use words as a weapon. Yet they had never been convinced that he could aim his wand to kill. But the terrifying murderous expression along with the carefully chosen words had changed their opinion. Severus Snape was a dangerous man one did not want as their enemy.

Remus sighed and stared at his friend. Sirius was pressing a bloody handkerchief against his nose. A deep frown had settled on his features as he glared at the wooden table. Remus knew him well enough to know that he was suffering – not only because he was imprisoned in the one place that he despised the most, but also because he was alone most of the time. And Severus had always been a suitable target for Sirius to torment in times of boredom during their time at Hogwarts. Although Severus had adapted over the years and learned to give as good as he received, Remus knew that Sirius and James had started the entire rivalry. He had seen nasty spells coming from his Gryffindor friends and the inconspicuous Slytherin – neither of them could claim themselves to be innocent. After everything his best friend had suffered these past years, Remus understood Sirius' mood swings.

Nevertheless the provocations Sirius had thrown at Severus had been lower than anything he had ever said before. While he did not agree with Severus' reaction either, Remus understood why the other man had snapped. He had seen Severus' anger more often than not but this darkness had been new to him. Just as it had been new to him during his short time as a teacher that Severus had not been as lost in his aggressive temper as he had suspected.

Sometimes, when he was facing the cold man, he was still wondering if his imagination had possibly tricked him that night. But then Severus would do or say something, imperceptible to those who would not know what to look for, that showed a glimpse of his real self behind the impenetrable mask – the Severus Snape who cared and loved. Yet Remus did not doubt that Severus would keep his word. Aryanna was everything that mattered to him, he had seen it in Severus' eyes. If she died in this house, Severus had nothing left to lose. Which was the reason why Remus needed to talk to his best friend…

Night was falling around Severus as he hurried back to the castle. Although his face gave nothing away, he was more agitated than ever. It was not for the first time that he cursed the apparition wards. Two meetings he had attended since the start of this school year – two meetings with the Dark Lord and his followers and twice he had had to drag himself across school ground with slashing wounds or shaking limbs. Until now he had successfully hidden his nightly disappearances and after-effects of torture from anyone, except for the Headmaster and – to his utter grudge, Arya as well.

Severus clenched his jaw and forced his legs to move faster. No, now he felt certainly no desire to face Albus Dumbledore or anyone else for that matter. The strong urge to hex his employee was overpowered by the mighty fear in his heart. If only the Headmaster had told him why he was needed at Grimmauld Place Severus could have taken his supplies with him. Now he was wasting precious time – time Arya certainly did not have.

The black cloak was billowing wildly behind him as the sound of his hastened steps echoed in the empty corridors. Severus let out a breath of relief when he finally saw the door to his office. Swiftly he flicked his wand to lift the protection ward. An annoyed growl rumbled in his chest as he felt that someone had invaded his office.

"What do you want," he snarled without casting the unwelcomed intruder a glance. Instead he rushed through his office and into his private quarters. Annoyance settled on his features as he ripped his potion cabinet open and quickly scanned the labels on the many vials.

"Severus, what is happening," Minerva McGonagall had followed her younger colleague into his living room. Confusion was apparent in her voice. "The Headmaster informed me that Arthur Weasley was well-tended and out of danger. But now-"

"I have no time for this, Minerva," Severus spat venomously. His hands were shaking when he pulled out various vials and pushed them swiftly in his pocket. "And I don't give a damn about what the Headmaster said."

The grip on his arm that forced him around was surprisingly strong for a woman of her age. A deep frown had settled on Minerva's face but her eyes showed great concern. Severus found himself unable to move as her sympathy released a wave of agony in his soul. Briefly, he allowed himself to close his eyes before turning his head away to keep his emotions from bursting to the surface. He knew the elder woman had not missed the shudder rushing through his body.

"What happened, Severus," Minerva released his arm and fumbled nervously with her hands. She knew there was only one reason why Severus would possibly lose control over his emotions. "Is something with Jackson?"

As the name reached his ears he snapped back to his senses. In the blink of an eye, he had pushed every slipped emotion back behind his cold mask and glared at his colleague.

"She's dying. This foolish woman is willing to give her life to save Arthur Weasley but Dumbledore didn't even see fit to tell me," Severus snarled down at her. He clenched his jaw at her confused expression and hissed in disgust. Without another word, he pushed himself past her and returned to his office.

Once more, he found himself being stopped by a firm grip on his arm. Minerva stared at him with hard eyes. "Dying? What do you mean she's dying, Severus?"

Severus growled threatening as seething anger lit every nerve in his body. "What I mean," he ripped his arm out of her hold and spat through gritted teeth, "is that your Gryffindor mutt Black has signed his own death warrant by giving her the wrong potion."

Seething hatred rushed through his veins and a throbbing pressure rose in his temple. Severus curled his lips and clenched his jaw. Then he whirled around to escape the other woman as fast as possible. He felt so angry he wanted to scream and hit something… or better someone. Severus' lips curled into a cold sneer. Dark satisfaction filled his heart when he thought off Black's face covered in blood. Oh, he knew curses that the mutt could not even imagine – curses to which there existed no protection charms or counterspells, curses meant to torture until death. And he would use them. Whether it was on Black or some low-rank Death Eater who would not be missed by anyone, yes, he would use every single one of these curses if he lost Arya.

Shaking his head, Severus cleared his thoughts from the overwhelming and so very tempting darkness. The same darkness that had driven him to enjoy being a Death Eater so many years ago – the rush of power, the power that came with the loss of fears and self-doubts, the feeling of belonging and being a part of something bigger. He had been so blinded by the power offered to him that he had never questioned its price. He had lost a part of himself in exchange for darkness and he would carry it with him forever.

Severus took a deep breath and lifted the magical wards on the gates. As soon as the last protection was down, the gates opened quietly and he stepped through. He waited until the wards had rebuilt itself, then he thought of his destination and apparated with a loud crack into the starless night.