A/N: This is a random one-shot idea based on reading random fanfics of fandoms I like. It isn't intended as anything other than "wouldn't it be funny if …"


The Democratic Congressman from Connecticut was sitting in the café seating area trying to eat the turkey sandwich which comprised the main part of his lunch even as he reviewed the briefing memo on one of the legislation proposals currently being considered by the House.

Suddenly, out of the periphery of his vision, he saw a figure standing nearby. He looked up. "Bill, fancy seeing you here."

The Republican Congressman from Kansas motioned toward the table and the Congressman from Conneticut nodded. Bill sat down. "We all have to eat, even Republicans. What are you looking at, Gary?"

Gary said, "Briefing memo – HR 672."

The Republican gave an annoyed sound even as he took a drink of his coffee. "You know that will never get anywhere without someone riding herd every step of the way. It's not something that makes good headlines."

The Democrat made his own annoyed sound. "It's important. It's the kind of thing that's .. you know … our job?"

"That will never get done without the White House boys being all over it. Say what you want about those guys, but they can bring the cheddar when they need to."

"Yes. So they do the legwork. What's the problem?" Gary was confused. The White House had been working on the matter.

Bill sighed. "I tried calling over to Lyman on something else. I found out that his assistant is out sick for the week – won't be back until next week most likely."

Gary looked at Bill for a long moment and then groaned before letting his head drop back. "Damn it. Lyman's going to be useless this week."

Bill actually gave a sympathetic look. "I know. I was working toward getting him on the line until I was told that Moss woman was out sick. I figured mine can wait until he's a bit more sane and rational. We Republicans don't like dealing with Lyman when she's not keeping him calm. Well, we don't like dealing with him ever – but at least she keeps him from just biting and frothing at the mouth. Bartlett's bulldog has rabies when she's not there."

Gary nodded morosely. "He can still work without her. It's just not pleasant dealing with him like that."

Bill shrugged as he took a bit of his own sandwich.

Gary then smirked and said, "Of course, if he finally ever gets his head out of his ass and marries that woman, she can't work for him anymore. Then you'd have to deal with him being relaxed personally and rabid when working." He sighed. "Though she keeps him organized, which makes me rue the day he actually does get his head out of his ass."

Bill shuddered and then said with some humor. "But he'll never do that. I know about Leo McGarry. As much as he wants his people happy, he'd see it as a possible scandal. And McGarry would never let it get that far. Lyman's too important to Bartlett's machine. And she's the only thing which keeps him in line."

Gary said, "You just like seeing him miserable."

Bill sighed. "As much as we hate Lyman on our side, I think most of us agree that watching those two keeping it 'professional' is actually painful to watch sometimes. And even if we know he's more reasonable with her around, quite a lot of us have been tempted to tell him to ignore propriety and just ask her. We wouldn't even make a stink about it."

Gary chuckled. "He'd never buy it coming from a Republican. He'd be paranoid waiting for the other shoe to drop. And as much as the Democrats would like to see it, her being the assistant is too important to keeping on track. They'll just have to suck it up for another few years until Bartlett's out of the White House." Bartlett had, after all, won reelection.

Bill shook his head. "I don't know if she'd be willing to wait. She's a young woman, healthy. She still goes out on dates and everything."

"How do you know?" Gary asked.

"Because whenever she does he gets even more horrible to deal with. Trust me. Whenever we hear that Moss is dating another one of her gomers – that's what Lyman calls them – we try to make certain you Democrats do the heavy lifting in contacting the White House."

"Thanks," Gary said with disgust. "You're all heart." The conversation paused as they both chewed their next bites. Gary then offered. "Can you imagine how much smoother it would be if the Lyman-Moss thing was resolved permanently? Let them get married and let her still keep his leash. It would make working with the White House oh so much less stressful – for both sides of the isle."

Bill thought about it and then nodded. "True. But even if it's not technically illegal, it goes back to McGarry not letting them do it because it might rock the boat. No matter how much our side would be able to relax if we didn't have to worry about that."

Gary said, "As the old saying goes: It would take an act of Congress for them to buy it that your side wouldn't make a stink about it. And it's not like that could happen."

Bill snickered himself. "I can just imagine the language: HR 701: To Declare the approval of the United States Congress for the traditional rules of workplace relationships to be suspended in the matter of Joshua Lyman of Connecticut and Donna Moss of Wisconsin. Be it here resolved: By order the of the US Congress, Lyman and Moss are to be locked in a room together until they resolve the unexpressed sexual tension which has, to this point, proved to be a hindrance to the smooth working of the White House and its relationship with the US Congress."

Gary looked at his fellow congressman for a moment and then laughed loudly. "My god. If I actually thought we could get it through I'd co-sponser it."

Several other employees of the Capital building were a little freaked out when two congressman from the two sides laughed together in public. It actually made some of their fellow congressmen a bit worried.

Bill finally gathered himself and said, "It would be funny to present that one on the floor."

Gary smirked and said, "We'd have to get it through committee first."

"Yes. But which committee?"

The two looked at each other for a long moment and then said together, "Government Oversight!" The two laughed together again. Which freaked out even more people.

Gary finally said, "I wonder if such a resolution would even be legal." His tone was wisfful.

Bill smirked and said, "We could always run it past Majority and Minority counsels."

Gary said, "Oh yeah. And then we'd get the White House Counsel's office to provide an Amicus brief on the matter."

The two laughed again and put the matter aside. Lunchtime would soon be over and both had to go back to work.


It was a few nights later and Gary had finished his work for the week. Just after he saved his last document and then sent it off to his Chief of Staff, he sat back with a relief-filled sigh.

He looked around his office and said out loud, "Okay. How do I amuse myself for the next couple hours until it's time to pick up my wife from her Pilates class?"

He thought for a long moment and then remembered his impromptu "lunch meeting" from a few days earlier. He snickered and then got a bright idea. "Oh, that would be funny." He snickered again and then started laughing a bit as he opened up a new document.

For the next two hours snickering and giggles could be heard as books and reports and laws were referenced as the "House Resolution" was authored.

He had completely lost track of time.

The Congressman from Connecticut was startled out of it by the sound of the phone. He reached over and picked it up. "Hello?" he said cheerfully.

"Where are you?"

Gary looked over at the clock and saw the time. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry. I lost track of the time."

"What were you doing?" his wife's voice asked.

He considered actually answering and then finally said, "If I told you, you wouldn't believe me." His voice was cheerful.

"Well, put it on hold and get your ass over here. It's chilly and I need to be warmed up!"

"I'm coming!" He recognized the tone in his wife's voice. He was getting lucky tonight.

It was two hours later and the two were relaxing after a "meeting as regards the productive relationship between the principal parties of the residence" and both were in a good mood.

Samantha, Gary's wife, had a sudden thought. "What were you doing that kept you from picking me up on time?"

Gary looked over at his wife and then snickered. "Do you really want to know?"

She recognized something in his manner. She knew he had a particular sense of humor and she knew that whatever it was that had delayed him had nothing to do with his work. "Yes. I want to know."

He took a breath to speak and then instead of explaining said, "Actually. If you want to go to my office, I think I still have it on my screen."

Sam contemplated that. She was actually quite relaxed and getting up sounded like a pain. But she was also very curious. Finally she looked at her grinning husband and then started getting up to grab her robe. "This better be good."

Gary snickered as he got up to grab his own robe. "You'll see." He finished tying his robe and asked, "Hey. You want anything? I'm feeling a bit thirsty."

Sam said, "Grab some wine. We can drink it while I look at whatever this is."

Gary snickered as he imagined her reaction. Five minutes later he was carrying a bottle and two wine classes into his home office. His wife's attention was glued to the screen.

As he set the glasses down and poured the wine, he watched his wife read through what was on the screen. Finally she looked up and said, "What in the name of all that is holy is this pile of crap?"

Gary laughed like a loon and then handed his wife were glass and said, "It came from a conversation with Congressman William Sneeps from Kansas at the Capital Café."

With some humor he explained what had been said and what was involved. His wife was almost as connected with the political side of Washington as he was and was quite aware of the principals of the subject. When he finished explaining his wife looked at him and said, "Well, that's a boat load of crap."

Gary's eyes widened. "How's that? I think that most of my fellow congressmen would appreciate this for what it is." He meant to refer to it as political humor. "Even the Republicans would agree with it."

"That's not what I'm talking about."

Gary was confused. "Then what makes it a load of crap?"

"This thing puts it all on Lyman. It completely ignores that the other side of this is a free woman who could just as easily done something to resolve this. You can't write a bill putting it all on him. She's got to be ordered to get her own head out of her own ass too."

He looked at his wife for a long moment and then laughed loudly. He knew she had the same sense of humor as he did. "Okay, smarty-pants. How should it get worded?"

For the next hour the two amused themselves together as they jointly worked on the bogus HR proposal, drinking wine and laughing the whole time.

When the bottle was finished he stood up. "Too bad it's likely illegal to even submit. Congress can't control the lives of two private citizens – as much as we would want to."

Sam stood up herself. "I don't know. That'd be for the lawyers to decide." She looked up at her husband and said, "All this talk of politics and romance – I think I'm getting a bit hungry again." She grinned at him as she opened her robe slowly. "And I'm not talking about food."

Gary grinned and said, "There's a couch right over there." He motioned toward the other side of the room with his head without taking his eyes from her.

"That's convenient." The two ended up falling asleep on the couch and, to their amused embarrassment, almost getting caught by the cleaning service early the next morning.

As the Spanish woman went into the room she smelled a hint of a particular smell as she looked around and saw the wine bottle, glasses, papers strewn around and other signs. She shook her head. "Ay, Dios Mío. Like lovestruck teenagers. And at their age." She shook her head as she began to clean up the evidence as she had often had to do in her years of service in Washington DC.


Over the next week, things had gotten back to normal in DC. But Gary and his wife did keep themselves a bit amused by actually turning the spur of the moment joke into something resembling an actual resolution to be put before Congress.

As they saved the final draft Bill asked his wife, "So. How should I send this to the good gentleman of Kansas?"

Sam smirked at her husband and said, "I thought we needed a legal opinion on the viability of it first?"

Gary rolled his eyes. "And how would we get that?"

She grinned impishly. "One of my friends is Maria Mendoza. I thought I could ask her to get her husband and his fellow coworkers to look it over."

Gary looked at her incredulously. "You can't be serious."

She laughed. "If we're going to spring the joke, we should go the whole way."

Gary shook his head as he stood up. "Okay, Sam. Have fun."

"I will," she said as he went off to bed.

The matter was put aside during the abduction of Zoe Bartlett which precipitated the Constitutional Crisis of having no sitting Vice President and forcing the Speaker of the House to resign, but things got back to normal shortly thereafter.


Sam Lawson, wife of Congressman Gary Lawson, finally had a lunch with her friend, Maria Mendoza.

"It's so nice to see you. How are things with you and your husband anyway?" Sam asked her friend.

"Things are just fine. This whole situation with Hoynes having resigned and there being no Vice President – Roberto had been worried that he would have to hear a case on it. But they finally got it sorted out. Let me tell you, he was happy that this took care of itself."

The two women chatted for a while as they ate their lunch together. Finally Samantha brought up the "proposed resolution" and explained the history of it.

Maria looked at Samantha in shock. "You don't really expect me to ask Robert for an opinion, do you?"

Samantha rolled her eyes. "Yes. I know. The dignity of the Court and all of that. But I thought it would be funny to ask him. I don't think it's ever come up. Like, ever. It would be interesting to see what he said."

Maria looked at Samantha. She really was one of Maria's closest friends in Washington. And it would be amusing to rile up her husband a bit with it. "Okay," she finally said with exasperation. "Hand it over and I'll see what I can do."

Samantha grinned as she pulled the envelope out and handed it over. "You've got to tell me what his reaction is."

Maria shook her head in amusement. "Of all the things about my husband being a Justice, this has got to be the weirdest."

Samantha shrugged. "Well, we've got to get our fun in somehow."

Maria shook her head and the conversation drifted off into other things.


Robert Mendoza, as Maria had expected, had been almost offended at the idea of such a thing being brought to a sitting Supreme Court Justice. The matter was so … trite … that such a thing sounded ludicrous on its face.

However, he did like making his wife happy because such things ensured he was kept happy. And so he agreed to think about it and unofficially give his opinion. He shook his head at how mindless some things could actually be.

It was a few days later and the nine justices were sitting in their chambers arguing a case that was officially on their docket. Ashland and Brady were, as usual, thoroughly enjoying themselves as the barbs and insults passed between them even as references to precedent and the Constitution and its amendments also passed between them.

As usual, the other members of the Court fulfilled their roles by goading one side of the argument or the other with points that hadn't been considered.

Mendoza, however, was taken with how silly the matter at hand truly was. Common sense would have seen it resolved had either side of the argument just been willing to sit down and negotiate just a little more. The Court had taken the case up because it did actually mirror a number of cases currently argued and it would affect quite a lot of matters once decided. But the actual originating issue really had been a very small and minor thing if anyone was being honest about it.

And once the arguing was done and the members were getting themselves together to end the meeting, Mendoza muttered to himself, "Compared to this, the Lyman-Moss thing is the stuff of legends."

Unfortunately, someone else had heard. One of his fellows, Justice Carmine, had heard the muttering and said, "What Moss-Lyman thing?"

Mendoza looked up startled. All of the other justices were looking at him. He paused for a long moment and said, "If I told you what I was talking about, it would amuse my wife greatly but you might all laugh at me for getting myself into this situation."

Brannaghan, who had become interested, said, "Don't hold back now. I'm interested in something that is more relevant than this case on the sale of the sale of bat guano and its legal implications." The case they had been discussing had started with an issue about bat guano. Not all matters at the Supreme Court were sexy, after all.

At the expression on most faces he finally sighed. "Are you certain I can't get out of this?"

Brady said, "No. Let's see what liberal meanderings are at the heart of this matter between you and your wife."

Mendoza looked at his fellow justice and said, "Actually, this one starts with both a Republican and a Democrat. It actually has bipartisan support – they just don't know if it's actually legally something Congress could order."

Hoyt sat down and said, "Okay. Now I've got to hear this."

Mendoza sighed and said, "Okay. But this isn't part of the record." All agreed. Finally he sat down himself and said, "It's about Joshua Lyman and his assistant at the White House."

The subject was rather out of their normal wheelhouse, but the various Justices were actually quite taken with the idea of the limits as to what Congress could order. One of the clerks was actually sent to retrieve the "resolution" and the nine argued one way and another.

Ashland, who always had a quirky sense of humor, finally said, "It would actually be interesting to see what the White House Counsel would say."

Brady said, "Those people are full of liberal bias. I know what they would say."

"Actually," Ashland said, "one of my former clerks is a Republican and now works as Associate Counsel over there. And he replaced another Associate Counsel who was Republican and conservative as well. They're not all liberal."

Brady was actually curious at that. "Which clerk?" He had seen all of Ashland's clerks over the last several years.

"Joe Quincy. He took the place of Ainsley Hayes, who went to work for the Hoover Institution. He's the one who uncovered the problem with Hoynes' that led to his resignation."

Brady thought back. "Okay. He has a pretty good legal mind, I would have to admit."

"And Babish isn't a joke either – the Amicus briefs coming from the White House have been quite good since he took over."

Brady conceded that. "Okay. So they don't all have muddy thinking." He looked at his long-time opponent. "So … what? We're going to ask for an Amicus brief on the idea of this resolution?"

Ashland grinned. "I think I'm going to call a former clerk and invite him over to congratulate him. Who knows what will come up in the conversation?"


Oliver Babish was sitting at his desk playing with his big wooden hammer (gavel) when one of his newer associates nervously appeared at his door. He looked up and hid his smile. He liked Joe Quincy despite him being a Republican. He had taken the place of Ainsley Hayes quite well and, he would have to admit, it was actually valuable to have a lawyer from the other side at hand who wouldn't bullshit him.

"What is it? Uncover another scandal which can bring the administration to its knees?" At Quincy's expression he rolled his eyes. "I'm kidding! If you're going to last here, you'll have to learn when someone is making a joke."

Quincy actually grinned a little at that. "Actually, that's more on point than you realize."

Babish was now curious. "A joke? What kind of joke?"

Quincy entered the room and carefully closed the door. "You know I used to clerk for Ashland when I was finishing my studies, right?"

"I have read your resume, which is quite good. And a staunch Republican clerking for the liberal voice that is Ashland was actually quite a revelation. What about it?"

Quincy stepped over to Babish's desk and sat down. "I was invited over to his place – he looks at his former clerks as his children kind of. And he congratulated me on getting this position."

Babish could tell this wasn't all. "And?"

"And." Quincy couldn't believe he was actually going to bring this up. "He asked me what I thought about providing an Amicus brief on the legal opinion of the Office of the White House Counsel on a matter the justices have been talking about."

"If the Supreme Court wants an Amicus brief on a case before the Court, they only have to send a note over. Hell, we send briefs over even if they don't ask."

Quincy paused. "This isn't actually on a case." Babish looked at him curiously. Quincy sighed. "As I said, the whole thing started with a joke."


Josh Lyman and Donna Moss were both a little weirded out when suddenly they both separately ran into both Joe Quincy and Oliver Babish at various times and both wanted to "shoot the proverbial shit" as regards matters that had no direct bearing on their duties at the White House.

Unfortunately, both were a bit flummoxed by the nature of those discussions.

Donna was certain that Joe Quincy had gleaned her hidden feelings for her boss, which was actually a little disappointing because she also found the man attractive and now he would never ask her out himself.

Josh was floored by a conversation about the theoretical legal implications of a superior and subordinate becoming romantically involved and what legal hoops would have to be overcome to ensure that there was no impropriety in the matter.

And with all of that, the tensions between the Hill and the White House continued to deteriorate over the budget situation. Haffley, the former whip and now the Majority Leader, was throwing his weight around and thought that he had the White House right where he wanted them.

President Bartlett was not giving an inch.

And then the incident with the conservative congressman from Idaho who withdrew from the Democratic Party to declare himself an independent had thoroughly discombobulated everyone.

And as tensions rose, the Supreme Court justices attempted to distract themselves with the very silly matter which had been brought to their attention. And Ashland, who was becoming a bit … strange … actually convinced the other Justices to author an opinion, regardless of how unlikely it would ever come to the attention of the greater public.

Mendoza couldn't believe he had allowed his wife and the other justices to Shanghai himself into this as he passed it back to his wife to give over to Samantha Lawson.


And then the worst things happened: The government shut down over the budget crisis and Bartlett and the leadership weren't even talking.

Seeing that Congress wasn't doing anything as they waited for the higher-ups to get their acts together and come to an agreement, Gary Lawson called William Sneeps to invite him and his wife to dinner – on the QT.

Samantha Lawson was a perfect hostess as the couple was welcomed into her Washington DC residence. Bill Sneeps and Gary Lawson shook hands as drinks were passed around. "A hell of a thing, this shutdown. Can't your people wrangle the White House to budge?"

Gary sighed. "Come on. You know that Bartlett was willing to go one percent. It was our illustrious speaker who refused to accept it and demanded three percent. You guys should have known he wouldn't go for that."

Sneeps sighed. "Just between me and you, I didn't expect Bartlett to accept it but I thought that Haffley would at least negotiate."

Lawson and Sneeps looked at each other. Finally Gary said, "I hate this crap. We're not allowed to do our jobs because the big boys are in a pissing contest. And it's our constituents who end up getting shafted."

Bill took a drink and nodded. "Here in private, and not for public consumption: I get it. I just hope that someone gets a fucking clue and soon."

The two knocked glasses together in agreement and then drank down.

The dinner was actually quite nice as the two Congressmen from opposing parties put aside their political differences and enjoyed a nice meal together away from the mess that was happening out there.

As dessert was being completed and after dinner drinks were being enjoyed, Bill Sneeps sat back and said, "What was this about anyway? Our party leaders are at each others' throats and I get an invite to dinner?"

Gary looked at his wife and then back to Bill and grinned. "Do you remember the conversation we had a while ago at the Capital Café?"

Bill thought back and then asked, "What? About Lyman and his assistant?"

"Yes."

"Yes, I remember. It was funny," Bill admitted. "I can't imagine an act of Congress now about it but it was very funny at the time."

Gary nodded. "Well, to amuse myself, I put it together with Sam's help. Want to see?"

Bill's wife, who had been listening, finally said, "What's this about?"

"Well, Merry," his wife's name was Merideth, "Gary and I were having lunch. We both had things to talk to the White House about but … there were issues."

"Issues?" she asked.

Bill grinned. "Lyman's assistant was sick and out of the office. No one likes to deal with Lyman when she's not around. He becomes unbearable."

Merideth snorted. "I've been listening to you and your fellow Congressmen bitch about Lyman since we came to DC." The Lawsons snickered at that.

"Yes, but Lyman without Moss is infinitely worse than normal. We figure they're in love but can't do anything because she works for him. We talked about what would have to happen to get them together. We decided it would take an act of Congress. For two congressmen it was an amusing sidetrack." Bill then looked at Gary. "But you actually put one together?"

Gary snickered again. "Including an opinion from the Supreme Court justices and an amicus brief from the White House Counsel's office."

Bill's eyes widened. "You're bullshitting me."

Samantha and Gary laughed. Samantha answered, "Not at all. He was late picking me up one night and when I asked him what he was doing, he told me all about it. You've got to see it."

Bill said, "Okay. Hand it over."

Gary retrieved the full packet of information and the two couples spent a bit of time going over it. Bill laughed the loudest at the 6-3 decision in favor of the idea. For him, though, the most amusing part was the minority opinion which basically said that while it was a good idea and would likely provide a positive result, it wasn't a matter that the US Congress could legislate.

The majority opinion was that Congress could say whatever the hell they wanted and that there was a history of Congressional Resolutions which reflected that basic truth quite well.

The resolution only directed the two be locked in a room together and to resolve their personal situation while allowing them, if they chose, to pursue it without running into legal trouble. It did not coerce them to act in any particular direction and so did not infringe on their rights as regards their personal lives. The entire resolution was a statement of support of the idea and then measures to ensure that the legal ramifications could be resolved satisfactorily.

Finally Bill said, "You've got to get me a copy of this. When everyone's calmed down after this current crisis, this will provide some amusement all around."

Gary laughed and said, "Sure."


It was a week later. The US Congress had finally gotten back to business after the Speaker of the House and the US President had finally sat down and hashed out an agreement on a full budget rather than a continuing resolution on the matter.

There was a collected sigh of relief from both sides of the aisle, even if the Republicans had been forced to play nice and cut the same amount from their side as the Democrats cut from their side.

And now, there was scrambling going on to ensure that all of the issues that had been put aside were presented before Congress before the annual recess for Christmas and the New Year.

By a quirk of fate, a Senator who was friends with Lawson and another who was friends with Sneeps both had found the entire thing as amusing as they had and had drafted a similar and connected Senate resolution on the matter.

And it was, perhaps, understandable that in the slightly disorganized scramble to enter things into the record, a clerk who worked for one of these lawmakers had accidentally scooped up the resolution during the process of copying and filing proposed bills to be brought before Congress.

The head of the House Government Oversight Committee peered at the proposed resolution. As he read the document and supporting paperwork, he was mystified as to why this matter had been brought to the US Congress.


Two US Congressmen and Two US Senators met outside of the office of the Speaker of the House. Each had been called and had been asked to appear before the joint leadership of the two Houses of Congress.

Bill asked Gary quietly, "Do you know what this is about?"

Gary shrugged. "No clue."

"Well, I guess we should go in."

All four went inside. All four were very nervous as they saw that the leaders of both parties of both Houses of Congress were all waiting for them, and none of them looked happy. "Congressmen. Senators. Welcome." Speaker Haffley gave his oily smile which everyone knew was the preface for an unpleasant experience.

"Thank you," was murmured all around. "Can we ask what this is about?"

Haffley looked at his Democratic counterpart, who nodded. That Congressmen stepped forward and said, "We wanted to know what you four could tell us about this."

All four were horrified as they saw their "resolutions" presented back to them by the senior members of their respective Houses of Congress.

"How in the hell did this happen?" Gary asked.

Bill's face became white. "Oh, Lord. I think it was my assistant. When I had him getting things in after the shutdown ended, he must have accidentally picked them up, thinking they were actual resolutions to be submitted."

Bob Royce, who had been just as annoyed, drew back. In a more neutral tone, he said, "Okay. What was all this about?"

Slowly, over the next twenty minutes, the entire story came out including all of the various ways that it had gotten as far as it had.

In the end, Haffley was sitting with his hand on his head and several leaders were rolling their eyes. But no one was pissed anymore. "I can't believe this has gotten so far."

The four guilty parties looked at each other and then back to the party leaders and said in unison, "Sorry."

At that, several of them actually stifled giggles. "I will admit. It was quite funny to see it presented to me." That was the subject for the next few minutes.

Finally Gary Lawson said, "Can't we … I don't know … squash it somehow?"

Haffley and the Democratic leader looked at each other and the Haffley said, "No. We can't. The whole fight over the budget has caused the American public to scrutinize our actions much more thoroughly. If we ask it to be withdrawn, someone's going to ask what is being withdrawn and it becomes a big deal. And if we quietly defeat it, both sides will hear about how they are interfering with the happiness of White House workers."

Bill Sneeps asked, "Then what do we do?"

The leaders all looked at each other and then back at the four. Bob Royce finally spoke again. "You four are going to get it quietly passed. It will be one of those things that's looked at as a 'feel good' resolution that all of us work on for our constituents. It's a bipartisan bill which will make nice with the White House. So, gentleman, clear your calendars for a few days and whip up the votes. Let us know when we can quietly call the vote and get it off our plates."

The leadership of both parties felt grim but amused satisfaction at the horror on the four faces which were before them.

In the end, it passed 394 to 42 in the house (a few abstained from getting involved) and 83 to 17 in the Senate. It was only far right and far left members of both parties that voted against it and no one made a true ruckus. In the end, most were actually quite amused about the whole thing. It was the least contentious vote of the whole Bartlett presidency.

And it made such a nice story for them to tell their children and grandchildren about at Christmastime, which was coming up.


Jed Bartlett was sitting at his desk when Leo McGarry, his friend and Chief of Staff, came into his office and said, "Mr. President. There's an issue about a bill which Congress is sending to us for Presidential ratification." He held a file which looked just like a few hundred more that he had signed during his presidency.

Bartlett looked at his Chief of Staff curiously. "What's the problem?"

Leo paused and then said, "I think you need to see this first before we craft a response."

And with that, Josiah Bartlett, President of the United States of America, listened with rapt attention as his Chief of Staff briefed him on the bill which had made its way to his desk for his signature. At various times, the White House Counsel had been called to verify his part, as had the Assistant Counsel. A few Representatives and Senators were also called from the Oval Office.

In the end, the two men were laughing as much as anyone when they contemplated what had occurred to bring them to this juncture.

Jed Bartlett had tears in his eyes as he finally said to his Chief of Staff, "I can't even Veto it."

"Why is that?" Leo asked.

"There's already more who voted for it than the two-thirds necessary. If I vetoed it, they'd just override the Veto and send it back anyway."

"True," Leo said with a smirk. "I just can't believe that so many Republicans signed on to this."

Bartlett said, "You have to admit: Josh is far easier to deal with when Donna has a hand in controlling him. And the whole thing has gotten quite … exasperating to watch."

"Also true."

Jed looked at Leo and grinned. "What do you say we take the burden of this one off of the American people ourselves?"

Leo was confused. "What do you mean?"

"Well, if we did this on the government's dime, I can just imagine someone, somewhere complaining about it. Even if the Republicans agree, it's going to cost a bit to sequester them sufficiently to follow the mandate of this bill. You and I have some money. And Josh and Donna are like family. What say you and me go halvsies on locking them into a suite at the Four Seasons over the weekend and give them the opportunity to resolve this?"

Leo considered that for a long moment. "You get your checkbook out and I'll get my credit card."

"We'll have Debbie set up the reservations."

Leo said, "How do we bring it up to them?"

Jed Bartlett considered that. "How about we …."


Josh Lyman was sitting in the Senior Staff meeting on Friday morning as they went over the legislative and political priorities which had to be dealt with. As expected, the meeting was very short. Nothing happened on Fridays or over the weekend unless there was an emergency and it was, as expected, a pretty uneventful meeting. Until the end.

Leo looked around. "Okay. Anything else?"

Toby, CJ, and Josh looked at each other. "Not that we know of, boss," Josh replied.

Leo nodded and then glanced at the President. "There is one more thing."

The three looked on in interest. Leo nodded to the President who hit his intercom. "Okay, Debbie. Send her in."

"Yes, Sir," the voice sounded.

All three looked over and saw that Donna Moss was coming in, a slightly worried look on her face. "You asked to see me, Mr. President?"

"Yes." Jed Bartlett walked around the desk and said, "There's a minor matter which has to be dealt with this weekend. It has to do with a law which has just come through Congress, which I signed just yesterday."

Josh was confused. "I haven't heard anything about it."

CJ was just as confused. "Neither have I."

Toby just looked annoyed.

"Yes. Well, it was one of those things which happens in the background but then has other implications." He looked at Josh and Donna. "And you two, together, are going to handle the White House's response to it."

"What is it?" Josh asked. Donna nodded in agreement to his question.

Bartlett said, "It will be explained shortly. However, I need you two to go back home and bring back enough clothes for a weekend trip. You're being sent out of the office to deal with it." He grinned and said, "Consider it a vacation on someone else's dime. Casual is fine – your professional wear is optional but not required. Maybe clothes for one nice dinner. Oh. Plan on coming in directly Monday morning when you get back so clothes for Monday too."

Donna and Josh looked at each other and then back. Donna asked, "Where will we be going?"

"Not far. But I think this will be good for you. Both of you."

Josh, suspicious, asked, "When should we go?"

"That would be now. The Secret Service will actually run you two home and back. I'll see you in an hour. And then we'll be sending you off. Your briefing will explain it all." He clapped his hands. "Chop, chop. Not much time to lose."

Still confused, they both knew they served at the pleasure of the President and so they complied with the order and quickly left to retrieve what was requested.

CJ and Toby, who had stayed, watched as the door closed behind them and then turned to the two men. CJ asked, "What's this about?"

Leo said, "Take a seat. You are going to love this." His grin didn't make them any more comfortable.

CJ and Toby were both flummoxed when it was explained. Toby's reaction was to roll his eyes. "I can't believe that the US government is involving itself in this way."

CJ, who had taken the time to actually think about it, said, "Well, at least that's one potential nightmare that I can stop worrying about. I've been scared to death that one day they'd show up telling me Donna was pregnant or something."

The President grinned and then said, "We can't tell them how to resolve it. But you will have to admit, it would make things a lot less tense in the office."

Toby sighed. "True. But we just had a whole fight over money. This seems like a waste of taxpayer money."

"Don't worry. Leo and I have decided to split to cost personally. It's not costing the government anything. And it's something nice to for a couple of people who've done a lot for us."

Toby and CJ looked at each other for a moment and then back. "Okay. I have things to do. Things which are more important than … whatever this is."

CJ, who was now on board, said, "Come on, Toby. You have to admit that they've annoyed you just as much."

The two senior staff members argued back and forth as they returned to their duties.


Josh and Donna both were quite nervous and curious (Josh more curious and Donna more nervous) as they were driven to their places of residence by Black SUVs driven by Secret Service members.

Both quickly threw together enough things for a long weekend and then got back into the SUVs that had taken them.

Josh looked out the window as they drove past the White House. "Aren't we going back?"

The Secret service agent driving looked in the review mirror. "I have my orders."

Donna actually hadn't said anything. Both SUVs stopped in front of the Four Seasons. Both were surprised to find Leo with his Secret Service guard waiting along with a valet.

Leo smirked as the two got out. The Valet quickly grabbed the suitcases under the direction of the Secret Service.

Josh asked, "What's this?"

"I'll explain upstairs."

Donna asked ,"Upstairs?"

Leo smirked and said "Yes, upstairs. There's a two bedroom suite"

Donna and Josh looked at each other and then shrugged.

They followed Leo and the Secret Service agent, the valet/bellman following them with the cart carrying their bags.

Not much was said as they made their way up. The Bellman had them sign something which ensured they were the residents of record, and then accepted the tip from Leo before he made his way outside. One of the agents had come in while two were outside.

Leo motioned to the absolutely lush seating area. "Have a seat."

The two did so, Josh in a comfortable chair, Donna on the couch.

Leo reached down and opened the folder that had been waiting. "Okay, you two. First thing: As on Monday morning: Donna, you will be holding the title of Assistant Deputy Chief of Staff."

Donna asked, "How is that different?"

Leo considered that. "It isn't actually. But it means that you're more than Josh's secretary. You're going to be officially responsible for helping him draft legislation, do research, help contact legislators when he has to take meetings … you're going to actually help him do the job."

Josh said, "Isn't that what she's already doing?"

Leo smirked. "Yes. But now it will be her actual job. She'll even go with you to Senior Staff. And she's getting a pay bump to reflect the work she's actually doing because you need to be kept on a leash."

Donna was agog. "I'm getting a raise?"

"Yes."

Donna was curious. "Not that I'm saying no, but why now?"

Leo smirked. "That's because of Congress."

Josh said, "Congress? What do they have to do with anything?"

Leo looked at Josh and said, "Funny you should ask." He reached down and pulled out a paper. "This was a law recently passed by both the House of Representatives and the United States Senate, and signed into law by President Bartlett. You can read the entire bill and the supporting documents, but in effect it directs the President of the United States to lock you two in a room together and resolve exactly where you stand on a personal relationship."

The two staffers looked at Leo in shock. "Wha ….?"

Leo smirked. "760 Verbal. Yeah, right. Anyway. The US Congress has passed a bill allowing you two to engage in a personal relationship and work together at the same time. It is signed by 83 Senators and 394 Congressmen and supported by a 6-3 decision of the US Supreme Court. In effect: Any decision you two might make if you want to go forward on a personal relationship in additional to a professional one would suffer no negative repercussions as far as the White House or the US Government. Donna? You'll be coming to me for evaluations or when you have a complaint. Josh? You're going to have to actually confront your intimacy issues."

He looked at the both and shook his head. "I know that everyone has been warning you two about doing anything which might reflect poorly on the administration or the White House. But honestly? We're all a bit tired of you two pussyfooting around. Josh is miserable when Donna goes out with her gomers and Donna sits there with a wounded puppy look whenever Josh goes out with one woman or another. You guys have kept it professional because that's what was expected, but no one can take it anymore."

He motioned toward the secret service. "For 24 hours, you're going to be stuck together in this suite. I'm taking your phones – you'll get them back in 24 hours when the Secret Service detail ends their watch. Talk, watch movies, order room service – do whatever you're going to do. You have the suite for the weekend – everything is paid for. Have fun. When you're at work, you keep it professional. But for God's sake, get over yourselves and see if whatever this is can go anywhere. The Secret Service will pick you up and take you back to work on Monday morning at 7:30. Have fun. That's an order. Good bye."

Leo, once the Secret Service agent had gathered their phones, turned and walked out, leaving the two agents at the door.

Inside the suite, Donna and Josh were both staring at each other and avoiding staring. Finally, Donna grabbed the documents left behind to figure out exactly what was going on. Josh started doing the same.


It was a very happy couple that returned to the White House on Monday morning.