Umbrella Academy

a what if series

Could Have Told Them Earlier

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"Do you think when I die," Klaus asked, lounging sideways across one of the stiff armchairs. "I mean, permanently this time-I'd be able conjure myself? And talk to the dead me?"

Luther shot him a swift look of disapproval. "That's ridiculous."

"Why? I think I'd be a fascinating subject to have a conversation with." Klaus hiccuped quietly.

"You already talk to yourself all the time," Luther pointed out.

Ben swung his legs from the bar counter at the end of the parlor. "You should tell him."

"I'm not going to tell him," Klaus placed one hand over his heart, affronted.

Luther blinked, his mouth set with annoyance. "You're doing it again."

"You should tell him!" Ben repeated.

"No one INVITED YOU," Klaus shrieked inhumanly, and then quickly changed tactics to a contrite smile. "M'sorry, I'm all fuzzy in the head. I startle easily. I'm a delicate bird."

"My god," Luther groaned. "See?"

"All right, fine, Jesus," Klaus swung his legs off the chair and slipped haphazardly to the ground, bouncing quickly to his feet and straightening his shirt. Luther crossed his arms over his chest - well, as best as he could, anyhow - and waited without patience.

"I'm not talking to myself, well-" he giggled, "-not now, anyway. That's Ben!" he pointed to an empty corner. Nothing but an umbrella stand stood there, deprived of umbrellas.

Ben was on the opposite side of the room, still sitting on the counter. "I'm over here, dipshit."

"Shhh, I know," Klaus hissed.

A lethal silence permeated the room. Luther's hands slowly dropped to his sides.

"What did you say?" he asked in a low tone.

"Good ol' brother Ben, in the flesh," Klaus snickered inappropriately, "Well, maybe not in the flesh. Corporeally. Metaphorically." He noticed Luther's deadly expression, and slowly held up his hands in a brief jazz shake. "Ta da," he whispered uncertainly.

"You mean to tell me that Ben, OUR brother - Ben - is here? Right now?" Luther looked around the room, his eyes wildly darting from side to side. "Why the hell would you conjure your own brother?"

"Um, miss you too," Ben responded sarcastically, not impressed with Luther's reaction.

"He says salutations, Big Boy," Klaus smiled, quite proud of himself.

Ben glared at him. "Don't tell him I said that. I'd never say that."

Luther shook his head, as if to rid himself of a wasp buzzing incessantly around his ears. "But you - I thought you said - you hadn't conjured anyone in years."

Klaus threw his arms out like a maladjusted conductor, his voice sounding very posh. "Well, I conjured dear Puh-Paw, now, didn't I?"

"That was different," Luther exclaimed. "You said you hit your head. It wasn't real. You were unconscious."

"Oh, hm, funny, you should bring it up - then - let me ask you - where did I get THIS?" Klaus launched himself into Luther's personal space, pointing at his own chin, eyes large and dilated. "Look at it!"

"What am I looking at? You need to go to the dentist."

"Look at me, you neanderthal! I've got a clean shave! I went into that club looking more like your left tricep and came out looking like THIS!" he gestured wildly to his face again. "He gave me a shave!"

"You probably shaved last night and forgot about it."

"But I'm stone-cold sober," Klaus affected his face to look like an old man on the brink of weeping heavily. "S-s-sober," he whispered, cackling and grabbing Luther's lapels. "I'm SOBER now, Luther! More so than you were last night! Ben's proud of me, why can't you be?"

"You don't sound sober," Luther rolled his eyes and pulled away. "You sound exactly the same as usual." He rolled his shoulder away, bumping Klaus back in order to take large, heavy steps out of the parlor and into the foyer, aiming for the stairs.

Ben was standing just behind him now, abandoning the counter for a closer look.

"Why doesn't he belee-he-he-hieve me," Klaus whined, trying to coax out a few crocodile tears. None responded.

"Maybe lying for them for twelve years to support your drug habit?" Ben quipped.

"That can't be it, that can't possibly be it." Klaus mused, pressing his hand to his chin in a Sherlockian gesture. "I will get to the bottom of this." He began to pace agitatedly back and forth.

Luther appeared at the door again.

"Oh," Klaus held out his hands imploringly like the religious figures in the many paintings upstairs. "You've come back to me!"

"Family meeting," Luther replied firmly. He was followed by Diego and Allison.

"Where's Five and Vanya?" Ben asked.

"Good, everyone's here," Diego muttered. "So let's talk."

"Uno, dos, tres, quatro, cinco, seis, SIETO, DIEGO," Klaus said.

"What about Vanya?" Allison asked.

Diego only glared at Klaus.

"It's siete," Ben corrected.

"Thank god you're here to tell me these things," Klaus replied.

Allison shot him a look concerned, bewildered, and completely over it already.

Klaus thought it might be a good idea to try again. "Allison, Allison. Listen. This is important and I want you to listen. And I want you all to weigh in on this. Do you think when I die, I'd be able conjure myself?"

The following sighs of annoyance exhaled in that room could have sustained a small greenhouse.

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Thanks for reading! I just binged the Netflix show over the last week and fell in love with these characters! I just had to write a little something to express so! Leave a review if you enjoyed!

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WOW, I've gotten SO many likes/favorites on this story... I might continue to add more one-shots! Holler if you have any requests, I am seriously SO new to this fandom. Thank you so much for the feedback.