Loosely based on this prompt—"My shower's broken but I've got a date tonight could I possibly use your shower please?" "Oh sure (neighbour that I've been crushing on for the past six months) of course you can use my shower to get ready for your date (fuck fuck fuck)"—from tumblr (see my AO3 under shell-senji for the link to the prompt post).

Also, a shoutout to my friends for their encouragement and a massive thank-you to plaidshirtjimkirk for beta-ing.

"Kat-chan?"

Hijikata Toshizō and the now-famous writer "Kondō Isami" had gone to grade school together, back when Kondō had been Miyagawa Katsugorō, or to Hijikata, just Kat-chan. They'd lost touch over the years, so needless to say, Hijikata was quite taken aback see him at the apartment mailboxes one Friday morning, collecting mail as though he lived there.

His old friend's head popped up, surprise blatant in his handsome features. "Toshi?"

Damn, he'd known Kat-chan had aged well, having seen his picture in his books and read articles about him, but nothing had prepared him for how attractive the man was in person.

Fuck me.

"You live here?" Kondō asked as he walked up, grabbing him and pulling him into a bear hug.

And he smells as good as he looks. Double fuck me.

"Yes, but I sure as hell didn't know you did. How long have you lived here?"

Kondō laughed. "Moved in on Tuesday."

A-ha, that made sense then. He'd been out of town on business and only gotten back last night. "Well, welcome to the building." A chirp from his cell phone interrupted, and he groaned. "Listen, I've got an appointment to get to, and this bastard's already been a pain in my ass, so if I'm anything less than perfectly punctual, we'll lose the contract. But how about we catch up later, maybe coffee tomorrow?"

Kondō frowned. "Can't do tomorrow—meeting with my editor. Here, give me your number and we'll find a day that works for both of us, okay?"

They exchanged numbers and went their separate ways, Hijikata in a far better mood than he normally would've been when dealing with Kazama. An errant thought crossed his mind as he caught a cab.

Was Kat-chan single?

Unfortunately, it was several weeks before they could actually get their schedules to align, making do with brief chats at the apartment mailboxes. Finally they were able to set up a day to get coffee, but as luck would have it, Hijikata wound up hearing from Kondō sooner than anticipated. Early one evening after work, as he was loosening his tie, a series of urgent knocks came at his apartment door. When he opened it, he found Kondō standing there, looking a tad sheepish, a change of clothes in his hands.

"Kat-chan?"

"Ah, Toshi, I hate to ask, but would it be possible for me to use your shower? Mine's broken and I'm going out to dinner tonight—"

A date. His hot childhood friend was going out on a date and needed to use his shower. Perfect. Just fucking perfect.

"Sure," he said, gesturing for Kondō to follow.

He showed him where the towels and everything was, well aware of how curt he was being. The curious glances Kondō gave him didn't go unnoticed, but he pretended to ignore them.

"Make yourself at home," he said, wincing internally when it came out a little more sarcastic than intended. "I'll, uh, be in the living room if you need anything."

Hijikata closed his bedroom door and scrubbed a hand down his face, forcing himself not to groan out loud. He was fucked, so epically, royally fucked.

The man he'd been lusting after for weeks on end was now actually in his apartment, using his shower. To go on a date with someone else.

He stalked into the kitchen, threw open the cabinet above the microwave where he kept the liquor, and pulled out a bottle of whiskey he kept on hand for Sannan. Tossing some ice cubes into a glass, he poured a generous portion, noting with some irritation that its amber color was rather reminiscent of a certain someone's eyes.

For fuck's sake, what is wrong with you?

Hijikata took a gulp from the glass, nearly choking as he swallowed. How the hell did Sannan drink this shit? Then again, Hijikata had never been much of a drinker and his tolerance for alcohol—strong or otherwise—was terrible. Almost as terrible as his current plan of drinking while he was here.

Showering.

Naked.

Mouth abruptly gone dry, Hijikata drained the glass and flopped onto his sofa, leaning his head back and throwing an arm over his eyes. Stop thinking about him, idiot.

Unfortunately, his plan to drown his sorrows and put his ever so attractive neighbor out of his mind had backfired. The combined forces of poor tolerance and nothing to eat since breakfast meant he was already pleasantly buzzed, enabling his imagination to run wild.

Kat-chan under the showerhead, hair wet and slicked back, the water running in rivulets down his muscular form. How would he react if Hijikata joined him? Would he be shocked, insulted, or…turned-on?

In the fantasy, his gaze was wandering down Kat-chan's body—or perhaps it wasn't his gaze at all, but his fingertips—when a slight cough came suddenly from across the room, shattering the daydream. He jerked upright, feeling more than a little like a kid who'd been caught with their hand in the candy jar, and turned to face his real neighbor.

"Sorry, Toshi…I didn't mean to startle you," Kondō said, rubbing the back of his neck. He was dressed in dark jeans and a burnished gold button-down, looking far more appealing than any person had any right to, at least in Hijikata's opinion, a fact that only served to fan the flames of his whiskey-enhanced ire.

"Tch." He motioned to the kitchen counter with his chin. "Just leave your towel there. I'll get it later."

"Okay…" Kondō said the word slowly, his brows drawing down into a perplexed frown. "Thanks for letting me use your shower. I'll…uh…see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever." He waved dismissively, and Kondō left, shutting the door quietly, leaving Hijikata to fume in silence.

Despite being plenty miffed about Kat-chan's date—and the fact he'd use his shower to prepare for it—Hijikata still met his friend for coffee. They caught up on what they'd been up to over the years, and as it so often had in the past, in the presence of Kat-chan, Hijikata's annoyance faded away. Their outing was cut short, however, when Hijikata got a frantic call from one of their interns, a Tōdō Heisuke, panicking over something he couldn't discern from the incoherent babbling over the phone. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he sighed and apologized to Kat-chan, who smiled graciously and told him not to worry about it, that they'd reschedule when it was convenient for the both of them.

Kondō's understanding or not, Hijikata still planned to take it out of Heisuke's hide.

Several days later, as Hijikata was leaving his apartment, he caught sight of Kondō chatting with a resident from two floors above them, Itō Kashitarō. Hijikata personally found the man to be unpleasant, an amalgam of obsequious and conniving. As such, it twisted his stomach to see Kondō chuckling at something the snakelike man had said, but he told himself he had no real proof that Itō was a bad person, and it was certainly no business of his who Kat-chan talked to.

"Oh, Toshi!" Kondō called out as he walked by.

He knew he was being petty and immature, but instead of stopping to say hello, he just threw a halfhearted wave over his shoulder. "Running late, gotta go."

The following day, once again departing for a work engagement, he almost ran smack dab into Kondō, who was walking toward his apartment.

"Meeting," he said, attempting to sidestep his friend, who grabbed his arm before he could rush off.

"Toshi, wait!"

He yanked his arm away and pivoted on his heel to face Kondō, intending to snap at him, but when he saw the earnest expression on his friend's face, the words died on his lips. Instead, he exhaled harshly. "Sorry, Kat-chan, but I've only got a minute."

Kondō smiled, one that reached all the way to his warm golden-brown eyes and made Hijikata weak in the knees. "No problem, Toshi. I…" He paused and shook his head. "Actually, never mind. I'm sorry for keeping you."

"Everything okay? Did you need something?"

"I, uh… Well… I was just coming to see if I could borrow your shower again, but since you're leaving…"

Hijikata's jaw clenched. Another fucking date. Just great. Then, he forced as friendly a smile as he could onto his face and dug his hand into his pocket, extracting his key. Thrusting it at Kondō, he said, "Go ahead. Leave the key under the mat."

This time, when Kondō said "Wait!" he didn't bother turning around.

In theory, weekends were supposed to be relaxing. However, on this particular Saturday, Hijikata had had no less than six phone calls and two unexpected visitors, all before three o'clock in the afternoon. One of the visitors had been Saitō, and since Saitō never did anything without cause, Hijikata had been forced to be polite and help him with the paperwork that needed addressing. The second had been a sweet yet overly chatty elderly neighbor who had dropped her phone from her balcony onto his and would he be ever so nice as to retrieve it and oh, while I've got you, do you think you could come replace this burned out lightbulb for me, please, won't you stay for tea, and have you heard the latest gossip about that new couple that moved in upstairs… And so on and so forth.

When he finally escaped, he wanted nothing more than to take a nice hot shower like he'd planned to do about six hours ago. Yet just as he was stepping into said shower, three knocks came in rapid succession to his front door. He hesitated, debating on whether to answer it or to simply get in the shower and to hell with them, when three more raps followed.

Grumbling under his breath about how he was going to murder the next person to disturb him, he wrapped a towel around his hips. Whoever it was could just fucking deal with it. Then, he marched to the door and flung it open, snarling, "What?!"

There, Kondō stood, arm poised in mid-knock, eyes growing wide as he took in Hijikata's current state of undress, his long hair loose about his shoulders and the towel draped haphazardly around his waist.

He laughed a little awkwardly. "Ne, Toshi… I…uh…was going to ask if I could impose again and use your shower, but I can see that you're using it. Or I…I assume you were, or are…"

Watching his strong, handsome friend stumble over his words and noting the tiniest hint of pink sneaking into his cheeks had every ounce of Hijikata's earlier irritation vanishing. And seeing Kat-chan's gaze wander from his face, down, and then dart guiltily back up filled him with both smug satisfaction as well as happiness, and a sort of puckish mood came upon him. Perhaps his attraction wasn't so one-sided after all?

Fuck it, only one way to find out.

Hijikata crossed his arms over his chest, leaning on the doorjamb and affecting far more cool collectedness than he felt on the inside. "Ho? That so? Thought the plumber came by yesterday…"

Kondō cleared his throat and shifted from one foot to the other. "Oh! He, uh… Yes, he did. And it's…"

"Still not working?" He arched an eyebrow as the faint blush grew more noticeable. He had a sneaking suspicion the man was lying, but he would be lying if he claimed to give a damn. For some reason, Kat-chan wanted to use his shower, and only an idiot would refuse him.

Hijikata might have been accused of being a lot of things in his life—stubborn, sharp-tongued, or even a demon—but never an idiot.

As Kondō made up some excuse for why the shower was still inoperable, Hijikata shrugged and stepped to one side of the doorway, waving him into his apartment and still feigning indifference.

"Well, I suppose it's only the neighborly thing to do."

Kondō heaved a sigh of relief as he entered. Hijikata closed the door behind them, locking it, and then turned around.

"But, Kat-chan…"

Amber eyes widened. "But?"

Hijikata couldn't help but grin. "You'll have to share."

The answering smile he received was almost blindingly bright. "Damn, Toshi, took you long enough."

Hijikata's thoughts came to a screeching halt. "Eh?!" While not unwelcome, it was hardly the response he'd anticipated.

Kondō shrugged, shoving his hands in his jeans pockets, grin growing a little wider. "The plumber came to fix the dishwasher. My shower was never broken."

What? "But…the first time you came…the date?"

"Was dinner with my younger brother, Souji. You were the one who assumed when I said I was going out to dinner that it was a date."

Hijikata made a noise of exasperation. "Damnit, Kat-chan, would've been nice of you to clue me in."

"Well…truthfully, I didn't realize until later that you might have made that assumption. And the second time you just threw your key at me and left before I could explain, so it seemed like you were avoiding me…"

"I might have been," was his petulant reply.

"Let me make it up to you?" Kondō said, smiling. "Take you to dinner tonight?"

"Dinner, or a date?"

Kondō laughed. "A date, Toshi, I promise. But, uh…Toshi?" He laid his hand on Hijikata's bicep, squeezing lightly.

His was a touch Hijikata could get used to.

"Mmm?"

"I really could use a shower."

Hijikata snorted, one side of his mouth curving upward. "All right. But I meant what I said earlier, Kat-chan. And you're wearing way too many clothes…"

Author's note: This one was fun to write, so I hope y'all enjoyed it!