Chapter 1
Driving on the Tasmanian roads of Australia with an old-school motorcycle & some old-school biker attire is usually a testament to living wild & carefree. It's even more wild, however, when you're a...bandicoot?! While that may sound like an unusual case, it's definitely not for Crash. Though instead of the usual gleefully speeding down the road at fur-flying speeds with the tongue flapping out of the mouth & whatnot, more pressing matters are at hand- or rather, paw. Word's gotten out that a local eatery/entertainment place known as "Dingo's Diner Bar n' Grill" is dabbling in shady business tactics. Crash has been tasked with getting the building investigated & possibly shut down.
Now, at this point, you may still be stuck on, "Why the heck is a bandicoot riding a motorcycle?", &/or "What even is a bandicoot anyway?". To answer your questions, a bandicoot is a small marsupial native to Tasmania & southern Australia; In Crash's case, his species is specifically the eastern-barred bandicoot (Perameles gunnii). & as you may have guessed, Crash here, is no ordinary bandicoot. You'll see more proof of that later on...
Walking into the bar & simply putting a stop to the illegal activity won't be any cakewalk. The individuals who inhabit the diner/bar on a regular basis have some history with Crash. Criminal history. The bar is run by the owner, Dingodile, who as the name suggests, is actually a cross between a dingo & a crocodile, & he's quite the pyromaniac. Nowadays, he works the "barbie" to stay out of trouble, much like the other baddies in the restaurant. Then there's Pinstripe Potoroo, a gun-wielding mafia gangster-wannabe who plays pool while his girlfriend Tawna watches from the sidelines. She is also a bandicoot that has history with Crash, but more on that later. The bar part of the establishment is usually inhabited by Tiny The Tasmanian Tiger & Koala Kong, two ginormous brutes who lack in the brain department.
They along with others usually nag & belittle the bartender, Nitrus Brio, or who they refer to as, N. Brio, or the little guy. Previously, he worked as a mad scientist, & his achievements were well-rooted in mutagenic science. Some say he paved the way for anthropomorphic animals becoming a thing today. But alas, most of that credit falls onto Brio's partner & superior, Dr. Neo Cortex. They all looked up to Cortex as the perfect candidate for achieving world domination through an army of super-animals; all made possible thanks to a contraption known as the "Evolvo-Ray", something that, unbeknownst to everyone, Brio actually had more of a hand in.
Which brings us back to Crash, who finally arrives outside the building. He parks his hot-rod ride & proceeds to make his way in. Meanwhile the oblivious baddies are about their business. Tiny, however, makes his business known to everyone with his rather-limited diction.
"Uhhhhgh.", he moans loudly. "Tiny might've had too much drink. Feeling a bit, funny."
Pinstripe, being the typical snide-gangster in a suit, offers somewhat good advice.
"That's why you should slow your role, big guy.", he says as he pockets an 8-ball. "Too much is never a good bet."
Then Tawna asks with sarcastic curiosity, "Jeez, what did he have this time?".
"Lemonade.", says Pinstripe. "The usual. Hehehe!"
Just then, Bullhog, who is another hybrid mutant, starts to get impatient that his drink isn't ready, & so he starts to get furious with Brio.
"It's been a half-hour n' he's still in there brewin'! What's the hold up, Brio?", he then asks.
Brio nervously responds to him with assurance, "Uh, I-I-I'm just adding the finishing t-t-touches, Bullhog. It'll be ready s-s-soon, hehe."
"Good.", says Bullhog. "All that rod-rippin' made me dry like the desert. Soon as I fill back up, it's back to the roa-"
But before he could finish, Crash opens up the bar doors & smoothly walks in as they swing back behind him. Everyone in the building stops what they're doing & sees the silhouette of the confident bandicoot. Wearing a black leather biker-jacket with white faux-fur along with a signature "C" stitched onto the back, Crash prepares to take off his sunglasses & make his move, but before he could do that, the bar doors swing back & knocks him forward. He falls onto his long snout, & what was supposed to be a smooth entry turns into a minor setback. I say minor setback because this wild animal always quickly gets back up after misfortune comes his way, despite his often goofy nature. The baddies start to ready themselves for a fight.
"Or, I guess I can stay for a few more minutes…", Bullhog finishes from earlier.
"Oh, C-C-C-Crash Bandicoot! What brings you here?", says Brio in a nervous manner.
"Whatever it is, he messed up my game!", yells an annoyed Pinstripe. He takes out his tommy-gun & says, "Walk right back out before I swiss-cheese you, bandipunk!"
Tawna interrupts, "Now wait a minute, you guys don't need to-"
"Tiny no like Crash! Crash got Cortex arrested. Tiny like Cortex!"
"N-n-now, fellas-", says Brio.
"Stow it, Brio!", goes Pinstripe. "We takin' out the trash. Unless this sucka heeds my advice..."
Just then, smoke comes from the kitchen. Dingodile comes out & tries to fan it out.
"WHEW! That baby's a mean one!", he shouts. "Who ordered the- ey. What's this doof doin' 'ere, mates?"
"GUYS!", yells a scared & concerned Tawna.
Crash stares at Pinstripe with the face of determination, ready for anything he throws at him.
"Wrong answer! Say goodnight, Crashie-boy!"
Tawna chimes in again, "But he didn't even-"
Gun sounds- *RATATATATATATATA*
Pinstripe, being the "level-headed" guy he is, sends bullets ablaze at Crash, who quickly jumps behind a table & knocks it over to cover him.
"Dang it! Shoulda carried more ammo today…", he mumbles to himself.
Crash takes a plate & throws it at the string holding the bar light above Pinstripe. It gets sliced & the light falls onto him, taking him out of the equation. Tawna comes to his aid.
"Oooh, baby I told you that wasn't a bright idea.", she says.
Pinstripe moans as he's on the floor in agony. "Uhhhhgh…"
"Tiny no hurting from brain-freeze anymore. TINY SMASH CRASH!"
"Hehehe", agrees Koala Kong, as both he & Tiny get up from their seats.
Koala Kong breaks off parts of the chair he was sitting in & throws both at Crash, who dodges both by sliding under. Once he gets up, he uppercuts Kong & knocks him over the bar-counter, smashing all of the drinks behind & barely missing Brio in the process.
"H-h-hey now! Take it easy out there!", he shouts.
Tiny picks Crash up with both of his hulking-hands & prepares to slam him on the concrete ground, but Crash has other plans. He twists his body around & unleashes a devastating spinning-punch attack on Tiny's head, stunning him completely. It's pretty much his signature move.
"D'OW. TINY GOT BRAIN-PAIN AGAIN!"
Tiny runs into the bar-counter. His huge body causes more drinks & bottles to fall, much to Brio's dismay. Some of the substances get on him.
"Oh, this is n-n-not good…"
Crash turns around & scowls at Bullhog, who actually doesn't want any of this action.
"Hey, I was just leavin'!" he goes out of the bar.
"That's it!", proclaims Dingodile, who brings out his trusty flamethrower.
"G'day, Crash! Remember this beauty? You're gonna become the newest menu-item: Barbeque-Bandicoot!"
"Uh oh", says Crash. Look! He said his first-word! Again!
Dingodile aims the flamethrower in Crash's direction & shouts, "Everyone out of the way!"
"OH GOD! WATCH OUT, CRASH!", screams Tawna.
Dingodile unleashes a powerful blast from his flamethrower. Soon, nothing but flames engulf where Crash stands, & it seems that the bandicoot is one-&-done.
"Heh, wish I could've done that sooner!", says Dingodile smugly.
But, as the smoke clears, Crash is shown to still be alive & well, as he is protected by a force field thanks to a friend of his known as Aku Aku. Aku Aku is a witch-doctor spirit who has guided Crash on multiple adventures. He helps Crash when the going gets tough.
Dingodile gets annoyed at Crash's persistence. "Oh, for the love of-"
Aku Aku says, "Give up now, Dingodile. This can still go peacefully."
"Not a chance! You won't take my business down!"
Dingodile fires his flamethrower again, but Crash jumps over this time & lands on the bar-counter. He & Aku Aku see that something is happening with Brio, something they're all too familiar with.
"Oh no.", says Aku Aku.
Brio is seen struggling to keep control of himself, as his body starts to hulk-out, thanks to the liquids that he accidentally digested: mutagen. Suddenly, the danger shifts to Brio, or Monster Brio in this scenario. He's now bigger than both Tiny & Koala Kong combined, & he goes on an absolute rampage, tearing the place down piece by piece.
"RRRRROOOOOOOAAAAARRRRRR"
Crash has barely survived with Monster Brio the first time they fought, so the best he could do was get out of the way for now. Brio knocks over Dingodile, who still has his flamethrower backpack equipped. The rest of the bad guys escape the building, but Tiny runs back to get more lemonade & leave. However, Tawna is left behind. The falling debris blocks her path, so she desperately tries to find another way out, but alas, there is none. Crash swoops by & saves her by teleporting outside from a safe distance, with the help of Aku Aku, of course. Dingodile's flamethrower begins to sound off with sirens, which is not a good sign.
"Ah, crikey. Not again."
*KABOOOOM*
-(Moments Later)-
Thanks to Brio's ultimate destruction & Dingodile's flamethrower malfunction, the whole bar is now in ruins, & Dingo's Diner is a Done Deal. The police soon show up to arrest the baddies, & Tawna expresses her gratefulness to Crash.
"Thanks for saving me again, Crash.", she says as she picks him up to hug him. "You've always had a spot in my heart."
"D'aww!", goes the blushy bandicoot.
"Tawna, you should come with us.", states Aku Aku. "Pinstripe isn't a good guy to be around for you. You need to be surrounded by, well, more positive people."
"It's...complicated with me & him.", she replies. "I'm trying to keep him out of trouble…"
Just then, Pinstripe is seen struggling with the police.
"Hey, getcha hands off me! Tawna! I love you, bae! This ain't over, Crash! Not by a longshot!"
Tawna then responds, "...but I guess he lives for that."
Brio is then seen being back to normal. He takes a look around at the damage he caused.
"Well, there goes my t-t-t-tending bar dream. Oh well."
"You were dabbling in mixing mutagen with the drinks being sold at the bar.", says Aku Aku Why?"
"I'll t-t-tell you why! I was sick of working with those Cortex-worshipping j-j-jerks, hehe! Always bossing me around & b-b-b-belittling me & whatnot! I got enough of that from C-C-C-Cortex himself! So I sabot-t-taged the drinks so that complaints from the locals would get you guys' attention! & Now here we are, I'm free, hehehe!"
Crash & Aku Aku look at each other with intense confusion.
"Okay?", says Aku Aku. "But you still need to face serious charges for this. You know that, right?"
"Eh, it's worth it!", Brio proclaims. "At least I'll f-f-f-finally have some peace & quiet to myself for once, hehe! Later, Crash! Thanks for getting me arrested!"
Crash dumbfoundedly waves goodbye to Brio as he runs off & even offers to be put into the police car.
"I think that mutagen has finally driven that man BEYOND mad, Crash." Aku Aku says. "Cortex's N. Fluence still continues to go about even when he's behind bars. Hopefully he'll stay there for a long time, though."
The police officers assure their handling of the aftermath to the heroes.
"Don't worry! We got these goons all handcuffed & ready to be put behind bars! Thanks for the help, Crash Bandicoot!"
Crash raises two thumbs up in response. Yeah, as you may have guessed, he's not really much of a talker. His evolution process with Cortex kind of did a number on his brain, but that hasn't stopped him from achieving so much & getting the job done, as evidenced here!
Due to the smoke still not clearing from the destruction Brio caused, the police officers are actually unable to be seen clearly. Their rather suspicious behavior & familiar silhouettes is also a cause for slight concern amongst Crash & Aku Aku. But nevertheless, their work here is done, so he says to him,
"Great work here today, Crash. I guess it's time for us to go home now. You can finally get those hours of sleep we 'stole' from you, haha.", he finishes jokingly.
Crash winks at Aku Aku & revs up his motorbike. He gives Tawna a kiss on the cheek before riding back off into the sunrise. Aku Aku says one more thing to Tawna.
"Just think about it, Tawna. You deserve so much better."
After Crash & Aku Aku take off down the road, Tawna sees a poster on a wooden street-light post that showcases an upcoming carnival event called: "Dr. N. Tertainment & The N. Tertainers!" There's also a message that says "Bandicoots Wanted!"
This peaks Tawna's curiosity. "Hmmm…", she says.
Elsewhere farther down the road, Crash gleefully speeds down the road at fur-flying speeds with the tongue flapping out of the mouth & whatnot. Yes, this is the life of Crash, an extraordinary bandicoot with extraordinary adventures. He's done it all: Fighting mad scientists, running from boulders, traveling through time & space, competing in lethal racing competitions for the fate of the Earth, there's nothing that Crash can't do.
He's ready fur anything….
(& yes, fur is intentional)