Content warnings: suicide ideation, food, eating food, some alcohol, and mentions of past emotional and physical abuse.

This story is slightly AU: Chirithy does not show up because I forgot about them until I was already done with the story, and neither Kairi nor Sora died in KH3.

Somewhat embarrassingly, Ventus didn't notice Vanitas had returned until he spoke up.

Do you seriously only have one outfit? a groggy voice asked.

Like you can talk, you-

Ventus paused.

"VANITAS?" he shouted, whirling around, trying to find him.

Idiot. We share the same body. I'm thinking at you, and right now I'm thinking you're fucking stupid.

Shut up.

Aqua rushed around the corner, Stormfall in her hand. "Where's Vanitas?" she demanded. Terra wasn't far behind, his Keyblade summoned as well.

"Right here," Vanitas said with Ventus' mouth, sounding smug.

"You can control my body?"

"Our body. We used to be one person, remember?"

Terra scowled. "Stop possessing him."

Vanitas leaned back, arms jerking as he settled them behind his head. He was trying to look relaxed, but that effect was ruined by how he had to struggle to keep his arms in place.

"Nah, I'm good."

"Stop moving my body!" Ventus said angrily.

"Just try and stop me, loser!"

"I will!"

"Both of you shut up," Aqua yelled, startling them into silence. "Fine. We'll take Vanitas out of Ven." She lifted her Keyblade.

"No!" they shouted, Void Gear flashing into their left hand and Lost Memory appearing in their right.

"Ven?" she asked, uncertain.

"No- you can't-" Ventus said shakily. "I don't want-"

"He means he doesn't want to be broken apart again. That nearly killed him, last time, if you didn't know," Vanitas snarled. "And I'm pretty sick of existing in pain all the time. You might as well just kill us outright."

"We won't do that," Terra promised, pushing down Stormfall with a hand. "Not if it means hurting you - both of you - like that."

"Yeah. Sorry for reacting so hastily," Aqua said, letting her Keyblade disappear in a flash of light. "I would never purposely do something to hurt you."

Terra nodded and let his Keyblade disappear as well.

Vanitas faltered, shocked that they had agreed so quickly. Ventus unsummoned Lost Memory, and after seeing that he wasn't in any current danger, Vanitas unsummoned his Keyblade as well. He still felt tense, though. What if they changed their minds?

"Thank you, Aqua. Terra," Ventus said, emotion in his voice.

"Uh, so, how is this going to work?" Terra asked after a moment.

"What do you mean?" Ventus asked.

"Like, who is in control…?" He trailed off, looking uncomfortable.

"Obviously, we need to fight everyday to determine who's in control," Vanitas said.

Ventus took over, indignant. "Uh, no, we definitely don't. We can just switch every week-"

"Absolutely not," Aqua cut in. "I doubt I'll be able to tolerate Vanitas for a week-"

"Like I wanna tolerate you for a week-"

"-so instead, why don't you two switch every other day?" she suggested.

"That's fine with me," Ventus said, shrugging.

"... It's tolerable, I guess," Vanitas conceded.

"Who gets today, though?" Ventus asked.

You can have it. I want tomorrow, Vanitas replied, and withdrew, no longer fighting for control.

Aqua stared for a moment, before realizing what the silence and lack of yellow eyes meant. "Oh. Okay, then. Well… Ven, do you want dinner?"

"Um, of course," Ventus replied, and the three headed to the dining room to eat.

Ventus forgot about the deal for a moment after waking up, and was confused as to why his body wasn't responding how it should.

Stop it, Ventus, Vanitas thought, an edge to his mental voice.

Oh. Sorry, I forgot, Ventus apologized, and let Vanitas have control.

"Finally," Vanitas said, and stretched, reveling in the feeling of his original body. He walked over to the closet, expression changing to disgust at seeing the identical copies of Ventus' outfits. "You really only have one outfit. Wow."

I have other clothes! Like, um… sunglasses…?

Sunglasses, huh? Guess those'll work. I don't want people to attack me 'cause they think I'm a Xehanort.

He's dead, though.

People are stupid, though, Vanitas responded, mental voice heavy with derision.

Vanitas dressed in one of Ventus' outfits, grimacing, and placed some plain sunglasses on his face.

Hey, take the Gummiphone with you, Ventus thought.

Sure, whatever, Vanitas agreed, and grabbed their Gummiphone from the desk, placing it in a pocket. Hey, Twilight Town has shops, right?

Yeah. There's also this place called Le Grand Bistro - uh, it's a food place - and you should try the… fruit aux tarte? Tarte… fruit…? I don't know French. Anyway, the fruit tart is really good. Sora really liked it.

Oh, "Sora liked it," Vanitas mocked, but he didn't deny that he was hungry. Now that Xehanort wasn't hovering over his shoulder, he could do things he wanted, like having dessert for breakfast. The possibilities were endless.

He ripped open a dark portal to Twilight Town, and stepped through.

"Roxas?" Lea's voice called incredulously, and Vanitas paused for a moment, looking around the street. Was he talking to him?

"Lea, I'm right here," someone responded.

"Oh. Oh! Ven!"

"Hi, Ven!" a cheerful voice said, and Vanitas inwardly groaned.

You better at least say hi, Ventus warned.

Whatever.

He turned in the direction the voices had come from, and saw a group of three looking at him. A redhead, a Ventus-lookalike, and some girl with dark hair. Vanitas approved of the last hair color, at least.

"...Hey," Vanitas said after a moment.

"Why are you wearing sunglasses? It's not that bright out, is it?" the girl asked, throwing out all of the goodwill Vanitas had felt.

He scowled. "Because I want to," he said.

"Oh… sorry," she answered.

Hey, Ventus, who the fuck are these people?

Well, uh, that's- actually, I don't know who the girl is. But the guy with red hair is Lea, and the other guy is Roxas - he was Sora's Nobody for a while, remember? Not entirely sure why he looks like me, but…

Yeah, thanks, I guess.

"I've never met you before," he said, wishing he could summon his Keyblade to dramatically point at the girl without revealing his identity. Instead he just settled on pointing with his finger.

"Oh! I'm Xion. Nice to meet you, Ven. What are you doing in Twilight Town?"

Ugh, stop calling me that, Vanitas thought sourly.

Ventus' presence radiated smugness.

Behind her, Lea was furiously typing into a Gummiphone.

"I wanted to try that food place Sora went to," Vanitas said after a moment.

"Oh! Le Grand Bistro! We should all go!" Xion said, smiling wide.

"Yeah!" Roxas agreed, and the two of them looked at Lea hopefully.

"Not ice cream?" Lea asked, looking up from his Gummiphone.

"Maybe we can get ice cream later," a fourth person said, coming to stand near Lea.

Oh, it's that blue asshole who was with Xehanort, Vanitas thought.

I think his name is Isa? Ventus offered.

"Welllll… I guess we have enough munny. Want to eat with us, Ven?" Lea offered.

Vanitas scowled. "I'm not Ven," he finally said, ripping off his sunglasses and revealing his yellow eyes. "Fuck off! I just wanted one of those fruit tart things!"

Oh, boy, Ventus sighed.

"Yeah, they look pretty good," Roxas said after a moment. "So… uh, if you're not Ven, then…?

"Wait, there's another person who looks like Roxas around?" Xion asked.

This wasn't exactly the reaction Vanitas had expected, and it caught him off-guard.

"No, I- Me and Ventus share the same body, because-"

"You're his Nobody!?" Lea yelled in shock.

"No! Stop interrupting me!"

This is embarrassing to watch, Ventus thought.

This is embarrassing to experience, Vanitas responded.

"Okay. Okay. Listen. I am Vanitas, and I am the dark half of the original Ventus. Xehanort tore me out of our original body. Stuff happened… I died or whatever. Now we're in one body again, but too much time has passed for us to be one person," he explained disdainfully.

"Oh… I remember you now. You worked for Xehanort," Isa said.

Vanitas scowled and crossed his arms. His sunglasses dangled from his right fingers. "So did you."

"Ah, I'm pretty sure we've all worked for Xehanort at one point or another, in some way… It's in the past, right? Let's let bygones be bygones," Lea said.

"Sure, whatever," Vanitas said. As long as nobody attacked him.

"A fruit tart does sound pretty good," Lea said after a moment. "Do you want to split one with us? Don't worry about paying."

Vanitas almost said no out of pride, but who in their right mind would say no to free food?

He nodded.

Xion beamed. "I love those things! Roxas does too, but he's just a grump all the time."

"I am not," Roxas protested, grumpily.

"Kids, let's be nice," Lea cut in.

"The bistro is this way," Isa said, making it clear he was going to head there whether they followed him or not. After a moment, everyone scrambled to catch up.

Meanwhile, Aqua and Terra were in a panic. "He was just here!" she cried.

"Where do you think he went? The Keyblade Graveyard?" Terra had a wild look in his eyes.

"I don't know… wait! The Gummiphone!" Aqua said, and rushed back to her room, where she kept her Gummiphone. She had barely used it since getting it. "Let's see…"

After a few moments of trying to figure out how to call someone, she managed to call Ventus.

The phone rang… and rang… and eventually went to voicemail. She tried again a couple of times, but they didn't answer. On the fourth call, she decided to leave a voicemail.

"Vanitas? This is Aqua. You better have a really good reason for leaving without telling us. Call me back as soon as you get this message," she said, and hung up.

She glumly looked at Terra.

"He could be causing trouble anywhere," she said.

"Maybe we should ask if anyone has seen him," Terra offered after a moment.

"Oh, I'll call Sora. He knows everyone," Aqua said, calling him.

He picked up nearly immediately, face coming into view. "Aqua?" he asked. "What's up?"

"Um, have you seen Ven? Or Vanitas?"

"Vanitas!? He's still around?"

"He returned to Ven after being defeated, apparently," Terra cut in. "He and Ven worked out a deal about who gets to control their body, but he just disappeared today without saying where he went."

Sora frowned, crossing his arms. "Huh… Um, let me call you back. I'll make a post asking if anyone has seen them," he said.

Aqua stared in confusion. "Why would you send mail to people when you could call them?"

"Oh, no, it's… a Gummiphone feature. A post on Gumminote. Like… um, a notebook people write in? But it's digital?" Sora tried to explain.

"I… okay. I'm not sure I understand, but I trust you know what you're doing," Aqua said. Maybe she should check out the Gummiphone more.

"Alright, talk to you later, Aqua!" he said, and hung up.

Meanwhile, back in Twilight Town, Vanitas was peering over Xion's shoulder to look at her Gummiphone.

"What are you doing with that photo?" he asked. Xion had asked a passerby to take a photo of the five of them.

"Oh, I'm gonna post it to Gumminote!" she said cheerfully. "Do you have a Gummiphone?"

"Yeah," he said, and took out their Gummiphone, booting it up. Three missed calls and one voicemail from Aqua. Oh. Well, she could wait. Vanitas wanted to see what this "Gumminote" thing was about.

"Let me tag you… Should I tag Ven, too?" she asked.

Nah, this is your day, Ventus replied.

"He says no."

"Okay. So… let's see." She angled the phone so they could see.

It showed a picture of Xion, Roxas, Lea, Isa, and Vanitas around an outside table near the bistro. Each had a plate before them, though some of the fruit tarts on the plates were more eaten than others. The caption read: 'yum! this fruit tart is super good! #legrandbistro #me #roxas #lea #isa #vanitas'

"That looks good," Vanitas said. He was still wearing Ventus' stupid outfit, but the picture wasn't terrible.

"Awesome, I'm gonna post it," Xion said, pressing an on-screen button on her phone. Vanitas decided to revise his earlier opinion: Xion was good, actually.

"So what are you gonna do now?" Roxas asked. "Lea and Isa wanna go do gross couple stuff-"

"Someday you'll probably want to do 'gross couple stuff' with someone, you know," Lea said, lifting an eyebrow.

Roxas made a face.

"I was gonna go shopping for clothes. This outfit sucks," Vanitas said, rolling his eyes.

It does not, Ventus protested.

It really does.

"Oooh, there's a good store I like nearby," Xion said.

Vanitas considered what she was implying.

"Yeah, sure, you two can tag along," he said dismissively.

Roxas rolled his eyes. "You don't even know where it is."

"Well, we're heading out now. Xion, Roxas, take care. Call us on your Gummiphones if you need anything," Isa said.

"But don't need anything, please," Lea added, grabbing his boyfriend's hand. Isa chuckled, and the two left.

"Alright, let's go," Xion cheered, and ran ahead.

"Well, we better follow," Roxas said wryly, and they went after her.

When Sora hung up, his Gummiphone returned to Gumminote, which he had been on when Aqua called him. A recent post from Xion caught his eye. She was outside Le Grand Bistro, and sitting with four other people: Roxas, Lea, Isa, and Ventus- no, she had tagged the post as Vanitas.

Huh.

He liked her post, because he liked everyone's posts, and then called Aqua back. She picked up nearly immediately.

"Yes?" she asked. "Did you find them?"

"Well, Xion made a post- ah… um, he was just at Twilight Town with Roxas, Xion, Lea, and Isa. They're at Le Grand Bistro! The place I sometimes work at!"

"You work at a restaurant?" Terra asked, surprised.

"Well…" He laughed sheepishly. "Kind of."

"That's not important right now. But thank you, Sora. We'll head over to Twilight Town right away," Aqua said.

"Okay," Sora nodded. "See you later!"

The clothes store Xion liked had a dark theme, which meant Vanitas instantly liked it too.

"What do you think?" Vanitas asked. He had on a black jacket, a red shirt, a black skirt, and black tights.

"I love it!" Xion said.

"Of course you would. Black is your favorite color," Roxas said. "Hmm… it does suit you."

Vanitas rolled his eyes, and headed back into the changing room to change back into Ventus' clothes. After paying the bored cashier the munny for the clothes, Vanitas rushed back into the changing room to put on his newly bought clothes.

You better not throw my clothes away, Ventus thought.

You have literally six copies of your clothes. I'd be doing you a favor.

Vanitas…

Fine, fine. I'll put them in the bag or whatever.

"So, where to next?" Roxas asked as Vanitas left the changing room, paper bag full of Ventus' clothes in hand.

"What, like I would know? Don't you two live here?" he asked.

"Hm…" Xion thought out loud as they exited the store and entered the street.

"Vanitas!" someone called, and Vanitas whirled around, wondering who would be- Oh, wait, that was Aqua's voice, wasn't it?

Aqua and Terra came into view, both looking mad.

"Vanitas, you are in so much trouble," Aqua said, coming to a stop before them. She looked at Roxas in confusion for a moment before shaking her head and turning back to Vanitas.

"Yeah. You left without telling us where you were going," Terra added, calming down.

"So?" Vanitas didn't see what the problem was.

"We'll talk about this back at the Land of Departure," Aqua said after a moment.

Xion was looking at Roxas with wide eyes, and Roxas looked back at her with the same expression.

Oh, right. We're supposed to do that, Ventus thought guiltily.

Why?

Ventus meant to answer, but was distracted by how tired they suddenly were. Sit dow…

Wha…?

They fell asleep. When they woke up, they were looking up at the sky. Terra was hovering nearby, anxious. Aqua was frowning slightly, and Xion and Roxas were nearby, looking freaked out.

"What the fuck happened?" Vanitas asked.

"You fell asleep," Terra answered. "Aqua says-

"Aqua is right here, thank you, Terra," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Sorry," he said, and let her talk.

"We figured this out with Ven a week ago, but I guess you didn't know. You two have narcolepsy… Not from the stasis spell, but from something else. Ven told us about how he shattered his heart fighting you."

Vanitas scowled and sat up. "What else did that stupid stunt cause?"

Memory problems, too. Don't be surprised if you can't remember stuff sometimes, Ventus added.

"We're not sure, yet. We were going to Radiant Garden next week to see a doctor about it," Aqua said.

"So… they're okay?" Xion asked.

"Yeah, don't worry. It's not fatal," Terra reassured them.

"Well, that's good," said Roxas, looking relieved.

"Fine. I don't want you two hovering while I'm trying to hang out anyway. Roxas, Xion, I'll see you later," Vanitas said, and created a dark portal to the Land of Departure, making sure to grab the paper bag full of Ventus' clothes before he left. "I'll see you two-" he pointed at Aqua and Terra, "-back at the castle."

The portal disappeared behind him.

"Somehow, I feel like I'm the one in trouble, now," Terra said.

Aqua ignored this. "Well… assuming he's telling the truth, we should head back. Goodbye, Xion, Roxas," she said.

"Uh, bye!" Roxas said, blinking slightly.

"Don't be too mean to him!" Xion said, frowning. "But also goodbye!"

"See you later," Terra said, and he and Aqua walked back to find a good spot to use their Keyblade Gliders.

Once they made it back to the castle, it didn't take too long for them to find Vanitas; he was in the kitchen, trying to find food. He quickly closed the refrigerator and crossed his arms when he saw them.

"So why were you so worried about me not telling you where I was going, huh?" he asked immediately, mouth curving downward. "Did you think I was going to attack people, or set Unversed on them?"

Terra looked sheepish. Aqua looked away, embarrassed.

Vanitas scowled. "One, I can't even make Unversed anymore, and two-" he cut off with a glare. "Yeah, I might've if I wasn't with Ventus. I wasn't a good person back then. I'm not going to make excuses for what I did. But… I'm fucking sorry, okay? I won't do shit like that again."

"...That does mean a lot, Vanitas," Aqua said, smiling slightly. "Promise not to hurt people, and then follow that promise, and I'll forgive you."

"Wow, thanks," Vanitas said, rolling his eyes. Inwardly, he was both pleased and upset- pleased that she said she would forgive him, and upset because he felt he was still an evil person who didn't deserve forgiveness. To his surprise, he found himself crying. "Shut up," he said, even though no one had said anything.

Terra regarded him evenly. "It's okay to cry. Everyone cries."

Vanitas sniffed, angrily wiping at his face with his hand. "What the fuck? Why are you two being so nice?"

"Oh, Vanitas," Aqua said softly.

"I don't want your pity," he snarled.

"You really had a bad life with Xehanort, didn't you?" Terra asked. "If you ever want to talk, feel free to come to me."

"Or me," Aqua said.

"Fuck off," Vanitas replied, though it wasn't as nasty as it could have been.

Don't be rude, Ventus thought.

"But in the future, Vanitas, please say where you go. Uh, because you didn't today… you're grounded on your next day," Aqua said, putting her hands on her hips.

"Whatever. I'm tired," he said, and made a dark portal. What the fuck did "grounded" mean, anyway? Were they going to make it so he couldn't cast Thunder spells? He'd blast them with Dark Firaga if they tried.

"Where did he go?" Aqua asked frantically, and then realized a door had slammed nearby. She looked at Terra. "Did he really just make a dark portal just to go to his room?"

Terra shrugged. "I guess so."

"Ugh. He's so dramatic," Aqua said, throwing her head back and tilting her face upward.

"Hmm…" Terra said, but didn't comment any further.

"Well, I'm going to go read some. Talk to you later, Terra."

Terra waved.

"Have you seen Ven?" Terra asked the next day.

Aqua was sitting in a chair, going through a novel she hadn't been able to read in a long time.

"No…" she said, trying to remember. He had been around for breakfast, but Ven at least would say something before heading out; he had to be still in the castle, somewhere. "Actually, didn't he head up to his room after eating?" she asked. "I'll go check."

"I'll come with."

"If you want to," she said, and the two headed to Ventus' room.

She knocked on the door once they arrived. "Hey, Ven, are you in here?"

"Aqua?" he asked, voice slightly muffled. There was a slight thud and he opened the door a few seconds later. "What's up?"

"You don't usually hang out in your room," Aqua said.

"Yeah, I was wondering if you wanted to spar?" Terra offered.

Ventus brightened, then sighed. "No… I'm grounded, remember?"

"Ven. You are not grounded. Vanitas is," Aqua said, trying not to laugh.

"I know, but I guess… Like, I was trying to ground him or something? But I don't think it really worked, because he's just taking a nap."

"Like Aqua said, you're not grounded. Come on, it's a really nice day out…" Terra tried.

"You're right," Ventus said, smiling. "Alright, get ready to get your butt kicked, Terra."

"Yeah, right," Terra laughed, and the two raced to the courtyard. Aqua smiled and headed back to her book.

Of course, trying to ground Vanitas ended up being punishment for everyone.

"What do you mean, I'm not allowed to leave?" Vanitas asked, glaring.

"Vanitas. You are grounded because you left without telling us where you were going," Aqua said, arms crossed and face stern. Terra nodded, and then went back to carving a small piece of wood with Ends of the Earth.

"You can't make me stay here," Vanitas said, mouth in a snarl.

"You're right," Aqua said evenly, which caught Vanitas off-guard. "But we will be very disappointed in you. Right, Terra?"

"Right," Terra said, nodding again, looking up from his unfinished artwork for a moment.

"Whatever. Since you care so much, I'm going to the Dwarf Woodlands," Vanitas said, and opened a dark portal that disappeared as soon as he stepped through.

Aqua placed a hand on her forehead, sighing. "Ugh."

"We'll get through to him eventually," Terra said, placing the piece of wood down and unsummoning Ends of the Earth.

"You think so?"

Terra shrugged. "I have no idea. That's what you say in these situations, right?"

Aqua sighed again.

Terra frowned. "Did… did I say something wrong? I…" He trailed off.

Aqua smiled at him, and placed a hand on his arm before leaning in to hug him. "No, it's just… I don't mind waiting while you come up with your own thoughts, okay? Don't just say things because you think you have to say them."

He looked completely surprised at this, though a moment later he returned the hug. "I… okay. Hey, I love you, you know that?" he said, smiling brightly.

"Yeah. I love you too, Terra," she said, and leaned up to place a small kiss on his lips. He blushed.

In the Dwarf Woodlands, Vanitas was attacking Heartless furiously, losing himself to the mindlessness of combat. After every single Heartless in the area was destroyed, he stopped, huffing from the exertion, and let Void Gear disappear.

"Who the fuck do they think they are, anyway?" Vanitas asked no one in particular. "Trying to make me do stuff… They're not Xehanort."

He kicked at a rock, and then felt confused. Why was he angry, again? He had been attacking Heartless, and… and what?

What had he been doing before then?

What the fuck? Ventus. What's going on?

Oh, the memory problems, Ventus thought. They should return sooner or later… I just usually sit down and wait for it to pass.

Vanitas scowled but did just that. After a few minutes, his head felt clearer, and he could remember he was angry at Aqua and Terra, though he was more worried about his memory now.

He stood up and kicked another rock. It bounced off a tree and back at him, hitting him in the shin. "Fuck," he said, scowling.

Ventus tried very hard to not laugh.

Laugh and you die, Vanitas threatened.

"Hey, who's there?" someone called.

"Mind your own business!" he called back.

"Vanitas?" a familiar voice asked.

"Xion?" he called back, surprised she was in the Dwarf Woodlands. He tried to make his way over to where he had heard her voice. She wasn't too far away, as it turned out, though she was also with someone else.

That person had on a pale yellow jacket over a short white dress. She had on light yellow leggings underneath the dress, and white, though muddy, shoes.

Ventus, you know who this is?

Nope!

"Vanitas, what are you doing here?" Xion asked, though she looked happy to see him.

"Stuff," he evaded. "What are you doing here? Also, who's this person?"

"I'm Naminé. Kairi's Nobody?" Naminé tried.

"I don't know who Kairi is," Vanitas said, and Naminé smiled at him.

"Well, then, nevermind. To answer your question, I'm taking photos of the forest and my girlfriend," she said, brandishing her Gummiphone.

They're dating? Ventus asked, which surprised Vanitas for a moment; wasn't a girlfriend just a friend who was a girl?

"I'm trying out photography, too!" Xion said happily. Unlike her girlfriend, she had a professional looking camera in her hands. "Naminé is taking pictures to use them as references for drawing and painting, but I want to work with photographs."

"She's really good," Naminé said, and Xion blushed, moving back and forth happily.

"Let me see," Vanitas demanded.

"Okay, but if you break my camera you'll owe me a new one, and I will also be very angry," Xion said, showing him how to go through the saved photos.

Most of the photographs were of nature scenes, though a few included Naminé.

Hey, these are pretty good, Ventus thought.

"Ventus likes them. Anyway… this one is the best," he said, handing back the camera. It was a picture of the dark forest, and it looked quite grim and foreboding.

"Ooh, thank you!" Xion said, smiling brightly. "I thought you might like that one."

"But seriously, why are you out here, Vanitas?" Naminé asked, frowning a little.

"None of your business," he said, frowning back.

"Please?" Xion asked, making a strange face that nevertheless made Vanitas feel gooey.

"Fine. I got into a fight with Aqua and Terra. They wanted to "ground" me or something, but it'll take more than just silencing my thunder spells to make me helpless," he told them.

Naminé snorted. "That's not what grounding is."

"Yeah? Then what is it?" he asked.

Isn't it-

I didn't ask you, Ventus.

"It's when your parents or guardians make you stay at home, or don't let you do something fun. Usually as punishment for something," Xion explained.

"They're not my parents," he laughed.

"But they're your guardians, right?" Naminé pointed out.

They are? Ventus thought, surprised. Huh. I guess they are.

"Okay, fine, they're our guardians. But "punishment"? Don't make me laugh," he said, sneering.

Naminé looked at him, expression sad. "What do you think a normal punishment is?"

"Like… you get hit. Or you get food taken away," Vanitas explained.

Xion looked very sad at this. "That's not normal. That's… that's really awful, Vanitas."

Was… was the time with Xehanort that terrible? Ventus asked, shocked.

Like you could have handled it. I got through it. I survived.

But you shouldn't've had to go through that!

To his embarrassment, Vanitas found himself crying again. His face twisted up. "Shut up, Ventus!" he snarled out loud. "I deserved it! I was an abomination! I shouldn't have existed!"

His chest was heaving. The world seemed too bright. He sat down.

Xion kneeled down next to him, tears in the corners of her eyes. "I thought like that once, too. But Vanitas, everyone deserves to exist. Even us "abominations"," she said, wiping at her face with a sleeve.

"Even Xehanort?" he asked. "He was trying to kill everyone."

"Okay," Xion began with a laugh, tears still coming down her face. "Everyone deserves to exist besides Xehanort, because he was trying to kill everyone."

Vanitas covered his face with his hands and began to sob, finally realizing that what had happened to him during those four years with Xehanort shouldn't have happened, and that maybe he could exist.

Naminé sat next to him, drawing her knees up to her chest. She didn't move to touch him, respecting his boundaries.

The three of them sat as Vanitas cried himself out.

"No one speaks of this," Vanitas said afterward, standing up.

"Of course," Naminé said, standing up as well. "And Vanitas… I think you should pick up something artistic. Drawing, photography, writing…"

"Singing, dancing… any way to express yourself and your feelings," Xion added, getting up from the ground.

"Hmph," Vanitas said, but he was thinking about it. "Whatever. And, uh, thanks, I guess."

Xion rushed him, hugging him tightly for a moment before stepping back. "Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry, Vanitas, I should have asked first-"

"I- You can do it again. If you want," Vanitas added after a moment, and Xion snorted, but hugged him again.

"Now hug back," she instructed.

"Uh… like this?" he asked, wrapping his arms around her lightly, unsure of how hugs worked.

"Yep! Naminé, get in on this! Group hug!" she demanded, and Naminé rolled her eyes.

"Of course, your majesty," she joked, and leaned in to hug both of them.

After the hug ended, Vanitas shifted, suddenly realizing he had completely interrupted their date.

"Uh, I gotta go now. Bye," he said, creating a dark portal. Before he could completely step through, he heard Naminé and Xion say goodbye to him.

Vanitas' next day involved a surreal breakfast, where Aqua and Terra acted like everything was normal. He knew their ideas of punishment were different from Xehanort's, but it still weirded him out. He kept expecting them to suddenly take his food away.

After breakfast, he stood up and grimaced. "Thanks for the meal. And… Fine, I'll stay here for today, but if anyone tries to hit me or something I'm fucking leaving. This isn't because I respect you, by the way. This is because I don't want to deal with you following me around."

Aqua looked up, shocked. "I- Vanitas. We would never hit you as punishment."

"Yeah, I know, Xehanort fucking sucked or whatever," he grumbled, feeling like he was floating out of his body just by having this discussion. "I don't wanna talk about this."

Aqua moved to say something, but Terra shook his head. "He doesn't have to talk if he doesn't want to," he said, and she nodded after a moment.

"Well, feel free to do anything you want in castle," Aqua said. "Just don't leave, okay?"

"Yeah, whatever," he said, but somehow felt less terrible.

The next day, Ventus and Terra decided to spar.

"So, Ven, Vanitas," Terra began, leaning down to begin stretching his leg muscles, "I remembered how you two summoned your keyblades at the same time, and I was thinking you should try and practice with them!" He switched to the other leg.

Ventus crossed his arms. It was a little difficult to think back on that moment due to the sheer panic they had felt, but he did remember how they both called their Keyblade into different hands.

"Sounds like a good idea to me," Vanitas said. "Twice the hitting power if we can pull it off."

Ventus nodded, and summoned Lost Memory to their right hand. Like usual, it was held in a reverse grip. Vanitas summoned Void Gear to their left hand in the standard grip.

Terra summoned Ends of the Earth. "Alright, no magic, just basic attacks," he said, taking a defensive position.

Ventus was content to wait for Terra to strike, but Vanitas wanted to press the attack. This conflict ended up with them falling over.

Terra stared, pressing his lips together and trying not to laugh. "Okay, um, try again?"

Come on, he's waiting for us to attack, Ventus, Vanitas complained.

Ugh, okay, fine, Ventus thought back.

This time, the two of them managed to rush at Terra, but Vanitas swung Void Gear just as Ventus was trying to get in close to attack, and they fell over again.

"Stop it," Vanitas said. "Just let me handle it."

"Fine, you try," Ventus replied, and let Vanitas have control.

Vanitas grinned and attacked Terra, though only with Void Gear; he didn't seem to have much of an idea of what to do with Lost Memory.

"Alright, hold on," Terra said, pausing the spar. Vanitas stopped trying to break through his block and backed off, confused. "You're not using Ven's Keyblade at all."

"Oh. Yeah." He lifted Lost Memory, inspecting it and flipping it around so it was in a normal grip.

That feels weird, Ventus commented.

While Vanitas was unused to dual-wielding, he soon got the hang of it.

Terra indicated for Vanitas to stop, and Vanitas huffed, jumping away but grinning fiercely.

"What's the matter? This was just getting fun," Vanitas said.

"Okay, now, how about Ven?" Terra suggested.

Vanitas rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine," he said, since it wasn't his day anyway, and let Ventus have control.

Ventus immediately flipped both Keyblades around so they were in a reverse grip.

Huh, I see what you mean, Vanitas thought after a moment.

"Let's see what you can do, Ven," Terra said, waiting for him to attack.

Ventus jumped in closer than Vanitas had, as his reverse grip meant he had less reach, but like Vanitas he soon adjusted to dual-wielding.

"Hm… I still think you two should work on fighting together, since being able to switch from standard to reverse grip or vice versa will mean you have more flexibility in combat… unless you two can switch instantly?" Terra suggested after a pause in the spar.

"We could work on it," Ventus suggested.

"Hm… Actually, before we do that: Ven, you need to practice standard grip, and Vanitas, you need to practice reverse grip. Otherwise, switching will just be a liability. Um, for example, if Ven switches in but both Keyblades are in a standard grip, he'd have to take a moment to adjust at least one."

"Makes sense," Ventus said, nodding.

"Yeah, works for me," Vanitas added.

"Okay. Ven, try with just Lost Memory."

Vanitas unsummoned Void Gear, watching intently.

Ventus' first strikes with Lost Memory in a standard grip were clumsy and easily blocked by Terra.

"Terra, can I get some forms to practice?" he asked after a moment.

"Oh, sure," Terra said, and led him through strikes and blocks in a standard grip. "Got that? Okay, Vanitas, it's your turn."

"Finally," he said, summoning Void Gear as Ventus unsummoned Lost Memory. He examined it and then flipped it around so it was in a reverse grip. He tried a few attacks out, adjusting to the shorter reach.

Unlike Ventus, Vanitas didn't have a problem starting an attack in reverse grip, but he kept accidentally changing back to standard grip before cursing and returning to reverse grip.

"Looks like you both have something to work on. Today we'll just go over basic attacks for Ven and practicing staying in reverse grip for Vanitas, if that's okay with you two?"

They nodded, and the training session continued.

Later in the week, the four of them visited Radiant Garden. The doctors there turned out to be Ansem the Wise and Aerith. Ansem was there for consulting on matters of the heart, while Aerith had studied mundane medicine and how to combine it with magical healing. She wasn't completely done with her studies, but she was certainly the best doctor in Radiant Garden.

"So, before we do anything, I want you to know that I take my patients' privacies very seriously, and the comfort of my patients is also a top concern. I will not mention anything about your health or any conditions you may or may not have to anyone you do not approve. Do you want Aqua and Terra to stay in the room with you?"

"Yeah," Ventus said.

"Can he leave?" Vanitas asked after a moment, pointing at Ansem. Ansem frowned, but nodded.

"Doctor Aerith is certainly more than capable of taking the required scans for me to go over. Call me when you need me," he said to Aerith, leaving the room.

"I'm going to have to take your blood pressure and heart rate. To take your blood pressure, I'll wrap a cuff around your arm. It will constrict for a few seconds, and then stop. Is this okay with you?" she asked.

"Sure," Ventus replied, and let her take their blood pressure.

"Hmm… blood pressure looks good."

She continued on to take their heart rate, which she pronounced as healthy, and then listened to them take deep breaths with her stethoscope.

"Lungs sound good… Alright, there's a machine that takes a snapshot of your heart. It's not invasive; you just have to stand in front of a camera."

Vanitas rolled their eyes. "Whatever."

She rolled her eyes in return, and led them to a bulky looking machine. "Just stand in front of this…"

"Okay," Ventus said, and they stood where she had indicated. The machine clicked a few times, and then rattled out some sheets of info and images.

"I will be right back. I have to bring this to Ansem," she said, and left the room.

"So… how are you feeling?" Aqua asked. "Nervous?"

"No," Vanitas lied.

"Yeah," Ventus said. "He's lying."

"Bastard," Vanitas said.

Aqua snorted, and Terra suppressed a smile.

After a few minutes, Aerith returned. "So, Ansem said that he could detect two distinct traumas, one older than the other."

"Makes sense," Ventus said.

"Unfortunately, there isn't really much we can do at the moment, but the good news is that the two hearts-

"Two hearts?" Aqua asked.

"Yes, two hearts. They're connected but separate. They're definitely twin hearts, by the way- uh, okay… Right, the two hearts. They've both formed a sort of "scar tissue" - it's not exactly analogous to scar tissue in the physical body, but it pretty much works the same way - around the wounds. Barring any new trauma, the hearts will not get any worse. So, uh, try not to go shattering your own heart again, whichever one of you did that," Aerith scolded.

"I won't," Ventus promised.

"Is there anything you can do to help the narcolepsy?" Aqua asked.

"Right now? I might be able to treat the symptoms a little bit, but since this field of science is so new, we won't be able to fix any actual damage to their hearts," Aerith said.

"So we're just going to have to deal with falling asleep at any possible time?" Ventus asked, sounding upset.

"Um, I took some notes before your visit, based on what Aqua told me over the Gummiphone. Hold on," she said, grabbing a clipboard. She flipped through it. "Right, here it is. I called some other doctors, and a few suggested trying a stimulant or an antidepressant for narcolepsy."

"It's up to you if you want to take medication," Terra said, and Aqua nodded.

"No, I want it," Vanitas said.

"Yeah, same with me," Ventus said.

"Alright. I'll start you out on an extended release methylphenidate dosage. You should take one in the morning, because taking it later might affect your sleep habits. Here's a list of possible side effects," she said, handing them a piece of paper. "Please call me immediately if you have any of these side effects," she said, tapping a section that was labeled "Serious Side Effects". "And if you think the medication isn't working after two weeks, call back and we'll try a different one."

"Okay," Ventus said, slightly overwhelmed. Vanitas felt the same way, but also felt relief at getting some treatment.

They eventually left after making a follow-up appointment for two months later, new prescription in hand.

"How are you two feeling?" Terra asked.

"Nervous, I guess," Ventus answered. Vanitas shrugged.

"Well, since it was a hectic day today, I was thinking we could go out to eat," Aqua suggested, and they perked up at that idea.

"Le Grand Bistro," Vanitas demanded.

"Sounds good to me," Terra said.

"Alright, then- no, Vanitas, we are not taking a dark portal. We are going to use our Keyblade Gliders," Aqua said as he began to raise a hand in the motion she knew would rip open a portal.

"Ugh, fine," he said.

The four of them headed off to Twilight Town. Vanitas let Ventus take control for the trip over, since he wasn't quite sure how to transform Void Gear yet, and the Lanes Between made him feel uneasy.

A couple days later, Aqua got a message on her Gummiphone.

She read it and smiled. "Oh, Sora invited us to a party in a few days! He says: 'Hey, Aqua, Terra, Ven, Vanitas! Me and Kairi and Riku are having a party on Destiny Islands to celebrate and have fun! Don't be late!'"

"That sounds like fun," Ventus said.

"Ugh," Vanitas groaned, but he didn't actually voice an objection to going.

"We should bring some food, too," Terra said. The next few days involved quite a few trips to grocery stores and attempts at baking, not all of which succeeded.

Eventually, it was time to go to the party.

Sora, Kairi, and Riku were hosting it on a beach. When they arrived, they saw a lot of people there: Xion, Roxas, Naminé, Isa, Lea, Ienzo, Aerith, Leon, Yuffie, Mickey, Donald, Goofy, and many others.

"Hey! Aqua! Terra! Ven! Vanitas!" Sora called, smiling brightly and waving his hands wildly.

"Hi, Sora," Aqua said, holding a pan full of brownies. "Anywhere I can put this?"

"Whoa, you brought food? You didn't have to!"

"Normally you thank people when they do that," Riku snarked, twining their hand into Sora's.

"Oh, right, sorry. Thanks!" Sora smiled brightly, squeezing Riku's hand. "Um, there's a food table over there… Enjoy the party!"

With that, Sora and Riku left to go find Kairi, and Terra and Aqua split off to go talk to different people. Aqua placed the brownies on the table first, though.

Vanitas and Ventus wandered around, catching snippets of conversations, content to not yet fully join the party.

Huh, what's Terra doing? Ventus asked.

They looked at him. Terra was standing a bit away from the bulk of the party, and looked uncomfortable. Next to him, Riku had crossed their arms, a frown on their face.

"So… uh, you have problems with darkness?" Riku asked, and Terra nodded.

"Um… I just get angry, or upset, and then I end up using the darkness," Terra said morosely.

"Uh, well, darkness is kind of like those emotions. If you throw something at someone because you're angry, that's not good. But if you're angry because someone's been mistreated, that's way different. If that makes sense?" Riku said.

Terra nodded.

"Darkness is fueled by strong negative emotions," Vanitas said breezily, walking up to them; he figured he should be in any conversation about darkness. "I should know, considering I used to make monsters out of darkness and my negative emotions."

"Uh, you're Vanitas, right?" Riku asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, that's basically true. You have to control how you react to your emotions in order to control your darkness," Riku explained.

"What do you mean?" Terra asked.

"Just push your emotions down. Use your willpower to beat them," Vanitas suggested.

"Um, I usually just accept that I'm feeling a certain way and then try to figure out why. If I don't have time for that, I take a deep breath and let my emotions fall away to deal with them later," Riku said.

"Uh…" Terra looked between them. "But which one is better?"

Riku glanced over at Vanitas, who was idly picking at his nails.

"No clue. Try them both," Vanitas suggested, yawning. He had hoped for more "what's your strongest dark attack" when he entered the conversation. "Great talk, by the way," he said, somewhat facetiously. "Terra, talk to me later if you want to power up your dark attacks - I'm going to go get some food."

"Have fun," Terra said.

Vanitas walked over to the food table, snagging a chocolate chip cookie and immediately stuffing his mouth.

Ew, don't you have any manners? Ventus asked, dismayed. He grabbed a napkin and wiped their mouth as Vanitas swallowed.

When I want to.

"Oooh, I see you felt the cookies' dark allure too," Xion said, crumbs around her mouth.

"What? There wasn't any darkness in those cookies."

"It's a joke," Naminé explained, nibbling on an absurdly large cookie. "'Come to the dark side, we have cookies.'"

"It's not very true. Xehanort never gave me cookies," Vanitas pointed out, and Xion sighed. She reached for another cookie.

"Don't make yourself sick," Naminé warned, and then took a huge bite out of her own huge cookie.

"If I get sick, it will have been worth it for these cookies," Xion proclaimed, and Vanitas was inclined to agree with her - the cookies were incredible.

"Oh, hey, Xion, Naminé, Vanitas, Ventus! Is everyone enjoying the party?" Sora asked, wandering by and snagging a cookie.

"Yeah!" Ventus said, interrupting whatever Vanitas was about to say. "Wait, sorry Vanitas, but I gotta ask this. Okay, Sora, why does Roxas look like me and not you?"

"Uh, no idea. Let's go ask Roxas," Sora said, and then shouted across half the beach. "Roxaaaas!"

Roxas looked up from where he was roasting a marshmallow over a fire pit. Lea was staring very intently at the fire, poking at it to make sure it was fed. "What?" Roxas snapped back.

"Roxaaaas!" Sora yelled again, smiling and making no move to go over there.

Grumbling, Roxas walked over to the food table, wooden stick with a marshmallow stuck on it in hand.

"Roxas, that's a stick," Xion teased.

Roxas exhaled loudly, amused but not wanting to show it.

"Okay, Sora, what's the big deal?" he asked.

"Uh, Ven wanted to ask you something!" Sora said. "Take it away!

Ventus rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. So, Roxas… do you have any idea why you look like me and not like Sora?"

"Oh, yeah, 'cause your heart was in Sora's when Sora became a Heartless, right?" Roxas said.

"What? That's why?" Sora asked.

"I… yeah? Isn't it obvious?" Roxas asked.

"Huh… That makes sense. Thanks, Roxas, Sora," Ventus said cheerfully.

There was a loud whistle that interrupted any further conversation.

"Okay, everyone, quiet please!" Kairi shouted, and whistled loudly with her fingers again.

There were many groans, but everyone stopped talking.

Mostly everyone. "Ow, my ears," Lea complained, but he nevertheless left the fire.

"Sorry about that," Kairi said, but she didn't really seem that apologetic. "I didn't want to get out the megaphone."

"Yeesh, yeah, whistling's better."

"Anyway," she said, ignoring Lea, "it's time for a group photo!"

"Who's going to take the picture?" Roxas asked.

"No one! I'm going to place the camera on a table and set a timer!" Kairi said. "Okay, everyone, short people in the front!"

Sora sighed and walked forward. "I'll get a growth spurt one day!" he promised.

"No, you won't," Riku said, leaning down to place their chin on his head.

"Ah! Riku! Stop that!"

"What? I can't hear you. You're too close to the ground," Riku teased.

Sora tackled Riku and began to wrestle them for that comment.

Kairi looked conflicted; she obviously wanted to join in, but she also wanted to take a photo. "Okay, okay, stop it, you two. We can wrestle later!" She pulled them apart, looking dramatically disappointed in them, though the effect was ruined by how she giggled after a few seconds.

Eventually, a few pictures were taken, and Kairi let everyone go back to the party.

However, when Yuffie pulled out a bottle of wine and a pack of beers from a cooler, Donald Duck quacked furiously. "No!" he shouted. "No alcohol!"

"Yuffie, I'm very disappointed in you," Aerith said, but she was having trouble keeping a straight face.

"There are children here, including yourself," Donald Duck scolded.

"Come on! It's not like I was gonna spike any drinks! You're telling me that none of the adults here want alcohol?" Yuffie complained.

"I want alcohol," Lea said.

"You're not helping!" Donald said angrily.

"What's this about alcohol?" a woman with dark brown hair asked. "I can mix drinks pretty well… I run a bar in Radiant Garden."

"Tifa! Come on, tell this guy that he's being ridiculous!" Yuffie said, pointing at Donald.

"Gee, I don't know…" Mickey Mouse said.

"Anyone 20 and older can have alcohol," Leon said, sounding as tired as he usually did. "There. Problem solved." He turned away, face impassive.

"Aw, what? I supplied the alcohol!" Yuffie complained.

"Then go drink it somewhere else. Destiny Islands' drinking age is 20."

"I'd personally like a drink," Aqua said. "Only one beer, though, I think."

"Are we really sure about this?" Mickey asked. "I mean…"

"Mickey. I am an adult. This is a party. Furthermore, you left me in the darkness for over a decade, so you don't really get to tell me what to do. If I want to drink one alcoholic beverage, I will do so," she said, smiling tightly.

"O-oh," Mickey said, looking away.

"Don't worry, Yuffie. Here's some "juice"," Aerith winked, pulling out a can of what was obviously beer.

"Oh, thanks- I mean, ugh, not juice," Yuffie laughed.

"Terra, do you want some alcohol?" Aqua asked, ignoring Mickey. Terra shook his head.

"I'm… I'm good," he said. "I'm not a fan of anything that changes how I act."

"Okay. I know there's some water or some fruit juice on the food table, if you do get thirsty, though," she said.

Vanitas tried to sneak a can of beer while she was talking, but Aqua noticed and grabbed it away, shaking her head. "Vanitas. No alcohol. Your medication will react badly, remember?"

He had actually forgotten about that. "Ugh. Fine," he said. It wasn't like beer or wine smelled that great, anyway.

Hey, Vanitas, I'm getting a little overwhelmed by all this, so… I'm gonna take a nap, I guess, Ventus thought.

Okay. Good luck, Vanitas thought back.

Good luck? For a nap? Ventus thought incredulously.

Have fun? Don't die? What do you want me to say? he asked.

Ventus laughed. Nevermind. Talk to you later, he thought, retreating.

Vanitas wandered back over to the food table, taking another cookie. He could get used to this sort of existence: one where he could eat when he wanted, and he wasn't going to get hit for messing up.

"Vanitas! We're gonna play a card game! Do you wanna join?" Xion called, waving an arm to get his attention.

He smiled and walked over to sit with his friends. No, life wasn't too bad now.

Ventus and Vanitas have narcolepsy and memory problems because I can't accept that there were no consequences to shattering your own heart, and also because I'm disabled and this is my fic.

But anyway, thank you for reading! Please feel free to leave a review!