Disclaimer: I don't own any properties I may use in this story, I make no money off them and I'm only using them for parody. Please support the official, original content through any legal medium of choice.

*There are huge canon changes, you have been warned*


"I don't think I can handle another surprise, please tell me this is good news?"

Severus could only give her a pained grimace, he might not always enjoy her company, and they often disagree with each other but Snape can say with all honesty, he hates the pain on Mcgonagall's face.

It hadn't even been a few days since learning of Harry Potter's disappearance. Severus had been running some experiments in the alley where Harry was last seen. He had been living in what used to be the Dursley's home while cooking up potions and reading up on search and rescue rituals (the Dursleys were with Marge, they were told either to leave or give up everything when Severus threatened to phone 999).

He had told both Albus and Minevra that a large amount of magical trace was left at the alley, even after all this time. Albus went to check records at the Ministry, if something that powerful happened, someone should have known and investigated. Albus was able to find the report, calling it inconclusive when it appeared no Muggles knew of the situation. If there were no Oblivators needed, it apparently wasn't worth their time.

Severus had told them to give him a week, he'll then come back and share his evidence, that wasn't even four days ago.

Snape had a vial of a potion that he could dilute and wash the alley with, it would make all human DNA from the past 6 months appear, from blood to dead skin (if it hadn't flown away).

He had apparate there only to find a death eater with almost the same idea.

Severus had almost died of shock seeing Evan Rosier leaning against the wall, almost like he was waiting for Severus.

"I was so close, for our lord, I was close."

Snape had his wand out, never once taking his eyes off of the once thought dead man. "What do you mean, did you do something to Potter?" He spat the name out. He didn't know what was going on, but needed to keep up the appearance. It was life or death if he fucked up.

"That day, I thought I had him, he disappeared, I need help, can't trust anyone."

Severus stunned the man and went back to his base for interrogation (legilimens).

Snape couldn't tell what was worse, rummaging through Potter's relatives' minds or looking into Rosire's.

The man had somehow won against Mad Eye. He had obliviated Moody (and took some of his nose in a fit of anger), and left a fake carcass of himself to be found (why no one would look over the body had Severus wanting to scream at the stupidity of the Ministry).

Rosire had spent the next couple years talking to himself and looking for the boy-who-lived. He was doing other things but Severus couldn't risk getting deeper into his head to find what those other activities were. Despite the wards Albus had put up around the Dursley's home; the school, the local grocery store and other places were fair game. Evan was there the day Harry went missing, he had everything 'planned' out. He was going to kidnap Harry Potter, and kill him.

Evan had followed behind Harry, far enough away to not be noticed, and was about to set his plan into action, when Harry tripped through what looked like a portal in a muggle sci-fi film. It closed before Evan could even comprehend what just happened.

After that, Evan had only one goal, finding Harry Potter.

"...what do we do?"

Snape had just finished giving Minerva and Albus an explanation. Both him and Minerva started at Albus in shock.

Snape couldn't hold it in. "Why headmaster, does it seem you don't have a course of action for this catastrophe."

"No, Severus, that's why I'm asking you for help."

That sentence was both surprising, hurtful and touching all at once, and Snape couldn't even come up with a quip before Dumbledore continued.

"I'm afraid I have made many mistakes leading up to this moment. I tried to handle everything on my own, in the hopes of keeping everything under control, and instead, a poor broken boy is lost in this world, or another, and I have no way to help him."

Albus looked at Snape. "I have already failed many of my students. These past few days have made me reflect on my choices and influences. I am sad to say, if Harry Potter made it to Hogwarts on time and safe, I would have never thought about my actions. The consequences of manufacturing situations or not interfering.

It must sound silly, for an old man to say it has taken me this long to realize both my actions and inactions have consequences. I wish I could've done better for a lot of my students, that includes you Severus."

Mcgonagall cleared her throat. She was ash white during Albus' talk, her Scottish accents coming out more in her unstable state. "I believe the best course of action would be to find Harry Potter. Severus, would it help to have Rossier with you? I have confidence you can handle and subdue him if he goes too far? Or at least, know when to call for backup?"

Severus turned away from the headmaster to stare at Mcgonagall head on. "Why would I want a deadly, deranged, death eater by my side while looking for Potter?"

"He's already laid down the groundwork, messing with his mind could lead to his brain being distorted, he'll trust you and entrust you with information not yet disclosed. You said he was deranged? Legilimens or Veritaserum only works if the person they are used on is within a reasonable state of mind, if he believes his delusions are true, we won't know what's actually true. You've already used Legilimens. It's hard enough going into a sane man's brain, without having to worry about more problems. It could take weeks or months before Rossier could be sane enough for the potion to work and the spell to allow you deep excess. Harry may not have the time. With each passing day is a day we don't know where Harry is, if he's safe, or even if-."

She didn't look like she could bring herself to say it. Enough time has passed already that the honest truth could be that boy was long gone.

"I can work with him." Severus said, though he didn't look happy. "I can spin why I had to stupify him, work with him and maybe get Potter back. It won't be easy, and headmaster," he turned to Dumbledore. "You'll need a new potions masters, until I can come back."

He went to leave the room but had one last snide comment to make. "And they better be good, I won't have slacking students because you couldn't find someone competent enough."


So here he was, in a muggle household, with a slightly mad death eater looking for the child of his dead love and childhood tormentor. Not for the first time, Severus sighed. He was looking over a book of summons (the search and rescue edition). When he found this brat, he was going to strangle him for all the trouble he put Severus through (not really, he's been through enough).

Rossier was happy with the explanation. Snape had knocked him out and took him to a safe house because the order had come back to look for Harry Potter, and he wanted to make sure Rossier didn't stumble upon them during the search. He talked to Snape when he came to, and they agreed to work together. He didn't tell Snape everything, however. Before their lord was defeated, he and many other death eaters never trusted Snape for anything. He was too much of an unknown, if it weren't for his excellent potions skills or Lucius always defending him, he probably would have met an..."unfortunate accident".

He was content in not doing everything alone...for now.

Though he had wished Snape had a better safe house then in a Muggle community. He shuddered.

He hoped the others were doing well, they were working on bringing what was left of their lord back, already, they had a potential Dark Art Professor, Quirrell, in the ranks, getting information from within Hogwarts, helping find rare books, to get a body for his Master.

Their plan was to find what magic had taken the child. If it was his own, they would need to summon him, or follow where he went. If it was an outside force, they could just replicate what happened or find the source of the magic, to stop it or counter it.

Rossier was able to give important details. Potter was not being followed by anyone but Rossier himself, the ground of the alley allegedly had no summon objects or paraphernalia, but had an energy around it. That would mean Potter had either used his own magic, or had a portkey like object to transport him. Albus himself had not put something on him, so that ruled out an outside force, for now.

What Snape was able to detect from the boy's family (the disgusting muggles were apparently good for one thing, beating the boy who hurt his master), was that perhaps the boy's accidental magic had teleported him away.

The next question is where the bloody hell he went.

In all the books they could find, nothing matches the results found at the alley, or not enough has been found that they could determine how the boy went away that quickly, with no sound, and no trace.

What Rossier didn't know was that Severus had an idea that perhaps the boy wasn't on the plane of existence.

Albus had used his schemings to allow himself into a section of the Potters vault. They only needed one thing anyway, The Potter Family Tapestry.

It gave both men a scare to see, yes, Harry was alive (thank any god that was listening, I didn't fail you Lilly).

But his portrait was extremely fuzzy and it showed the dates interchanging. The dates would change from his 1900's date to a time in the 2000's. His month and day was also changing from English to...Kanji? A language that uses symbols instead of letters.

Severus was getting an extremely sick feeling in his stomach that Potter had either found a time turner while apparating to an Asian country, or worse, was not in this world any longer.

It wasn't that big a stretch, Hogwarts has been known to house people or creatures out of their world or time.

However this is Harry, boy-who-lived, Potter. And that just meant everything was more complicated than it had to be.

That would mean someone (probably him), would have to go find him, in whatever world Potter went to, and drag him back.

Joy.


Joy indeed Snape.

Hey everyone! Uh, hope you all are doing well!

In light of some recent events, I have a lot of time on my hands.

Make sure you guys are washing your hands and staying safe, special thanks to essential workers and healthcare workers, seriously, you people are making miracles. Also, special f*ck you's to people demanding haircuts right now. Your ignorant choices don't only affect you!

Enough serious talk, you certainly didn't come here for a PSA.

I wasn't lying in my last post, I've got up to chapter 13 done, however, I need to keep those chapters to ensure I'm not screwing what little continuity I have. I've been working on them, so I'll probably be updating over the next...I don't know how long this thing will last.

So unless I straight up die, I'll see you soon! Don't touch your face. Do wash your hands! Bye!

*This chapter was ready to go up a while ago, with a few small edits being made, when, with my luck, I got strep throat during a pandemic, yay.*