Fallen Pride

Satania and her friends had been on Earth for a good two years. Not much had changed between their arrival to the mortal realm and now; Gabriel was still a lazy bum who couldn't give a reason why she had a halo to save her life, Vignette was still the exasperated mom friend, and Raphiel was still a sadist (with benefits.)

And to them, Satania was still the airhead with an ego the size of the world that they now resided in. To them, she was still the same wannabe demon queen who made world takeover claims on a daily basis, the same Satania who loved melon bread, but could never actually eat it, because of her terrible luck.

But, alone in her room, a very different Satania lay, wishing she wasn't as much as a failure as she was. Her self confidence was practically non-existent in comparison to two years ago; she had long ago realized that she could never dream of getting into any basic leadership position, let alone a worldwide dictator. And two long years, two terribly lonely long years, exempt from everything, tended to make even your most favourite treat tasteless and empty.

One constant that remained between Satania then and Satania now was that she still craved attention. She longed for someone to see her, to acknowledge her. The only way she knew to attract attention was to destroy.

Two years ago, she did that by causing the lightest of mischief, from throwing trash into recycling to leaving other people's pens uncapped when they weren't looking. But Satania had long ago learned that anything she did was not enough to warrant attention from the likes of anyone—especially not her friends.

So with nothing else to destroy, she destroyed herself.

It started with drugs. Marijuana. She...she wanted that attention...and the men in the back alleys certainly didn't neglect her that. They acted like they knew her. Like they understood her. In the back of her mind, Satania knew it was just a trick to make her buy more drugs, but dammit if Satania didn't revel in the attention.

And If she became addicted, so what? Her friends might actually look at her for once, then. It didn't matter if it was pity or not. At least she would be noticed.

But that's not what happened. Drugs...have a different effect on demons than other living things. One hit felt the same, so did two, and maybe three. But after that, drugs changed her. Her demonic immune system took the drug in a worse way than a human would, and a new side of her awakened. She felt tired all the time, and she could no longer repel those feelings of loneliness. She had no addiction, but the drugs certainly did something.

Satania's eyes opened, tears welling up. She was slumped over in her bathroom, she remembered. Her arms stung, covered in cuts from earlier in the hour. She up glared at the mirror over her sink, hating what she'd become.

Inevitable, really.

Her teeth clenched. "Shut up."

Hating the truth, as always.

"...Shut up!"

Hates that she has no friends, hates her patheticness, hates her cowardice, hates her demonhood…

Hating the truth, as always.

"I said, SHUT UP!" Satania screamed, throwing her knife at the mirror.

The mirror shattered.

You can't run from the truth, Satania. Voice whispered, emotionless as always.

Satania suddenly felt extremely spent. Her anger left her face, falling out of it like dripping water. She felt her eyes well up, and she was crying. Again.

Pathetic.

She was tired of this. This…"life". This...existence. What was the point of coming here? Two years ago, she would have said "to become Queen of humans/demons." But there was no way that was happening. So what reason did she have to stay here?

She tried to think. Friends? The only one she might consider a "true" friend was Vignette, and she was sure that was out of pity. The dog? Satania was pretty sure he was only along for the ride. School? She had long lost the ability to keep up in class. Society in general? Who was she kidding, she never contributed to it in any way. Okay, then, maybe she could return to Hell. No, she thought. Her family didn't truly see her. They pretended to care, but they only cared about her rise to queenhood. Other than her brother, who didn't care about anything.

If only...she wasn't a demon.

If you weren't a demon, you wouldn't exist.

Satania stopped. She stopped thinking, she stopped crying, and she stopped breathing. Her eyes drained of their violet color, and her mouth closed into a thin line. Fine. She thought. I won't, then.

I'll be an angel.

In her clouded state, she thought this was a perfectly fine idea. The denizens of Heaven didn't know who she was, so she could start over! Surely Gabriel and Raphiel were out of the norm when it came to angels, right? Surely the angels above would accept her when she got up there, right?

You could never be an angel, fool. You are a demon. And not only that, you would make a horrible angel, just as you make a horrible demon. How could you expect to be anything upstairs when you are nothing down here?

Satania accepted this as truth, but even so, she responded with the same quiet thought.

I'll be an angel.

Go ahead and try.

So she pushed down her sleeves, ignoring the dull pain from rubbing her arms. She walked out of her bathroom, grabbing her coat, and put on her slippers. Slowly opening the door, she stepped out of her apartment.

It was raining.

She never grabbed an umbrella, choosing to take off down the the run, her thoughts finally began to circulate again.

What are you doing? Her mind screamed, begging to be heard.

I'll be an angel.

Do you even know what that means? How are you even going to be one?

I'll be an angel.

Why? Think for a moment about what you'll be leaving! Your parents! Alexander! The dog! Your brother!

I'll be an angel.

At that moment, she bumped into someone on the street. "Sorry," She muttered, unfocused. The lady she had bumped into froze for a moment, and Satania was shaken out of her spell to get a good look at her. The lady had golden hair that flowed softly down to her shoulders. Her eyes were sky blue, shining bright even on this stormy day. She carried herself like a mother, and for a moment, Satania thought she had walked into heaven, because this woman definitely looked like an angel. "It's okay, dear." The woman smiled kindly, giving off a motherly vibe.

Forget about her. Keep going.

And just like that, Satania turned around, the woman forgotten. She had a job to do.

I'll be an angel.

The woman's smile dropped suddenly. Dr. Eve Adams had just felt her angelic aura shrink a little when that girl collided into her. Normally, when an angel's aura was impacted, the angel was obligated to move away from the impactor (a potential sinner) in order to keep their aura pure.

But Dr. Eve was no ordinary angel. She liked to use her aura as a radar for troubled souls. She often found that a potential "sinner" was actually just a person having a lot of bad thoughts. And while Commander Michael disapproved of her exposure to such people, Eve argued that it was an angel's duty to help humans.

So she got a PHD in psychology, determined to help Earth. She was not well known, but not because she was bad. She was really more Japan's best kept secret.

That girl...something was off. She thought. Whether it was from how the girl carried herself (slumped, sad, resigned) or the way her eyes looked (dull, steeled) or the way she responded (slowly, scared) Eve couldn't help but feel...anxious. As soon as the girl took off again, Eve gave chase.

Satania certainly lived up to her demonhood when it came to her speed, at the very least. She felt like no time had passed between her being on the ground and her being on the roof. She hadn't the slightest idea what building she had climbed up, other than that it was very tall. And sure, that what was she was looking for, but now that was she was there, she was...scared.

Of course you are, coward.

Satania flinched, looking down at the ground cold feet. Was this really the right choice? Death was permanent.

No it's not. You are going to be an angel. You have nothing here.

That was the last push Satania needed.

Eve had watched with silent horror and astonishment as she watched the girl toe the line between air and building edge. She had followed the girl very closely when she had ran away, using her concealed wings to keep up with her. And when she had ended up on the roof of a building, her worst fears had been confirmed. She was going to jump. Eve knew that humans did try this, she knew they tried to kill themselves, and it hurt every time they did.

Eve would be damned if she didn't stop this. So when the girl jumped, she acted fast. Her wings spread behind her, and she didn't bother to use concealing magic to hide the heavenly glow. She dived like a hawk towards the fallen girl over the edge, almost like prey. She reached her just in time.

She caught the girl with a hug. When Satania looked up at the woman, her last thoughts were, wow, Heaven is beautiful.

Satania woke up on the warmest bed she had ever felt. The room she was in felt very cozy, and from where she was laying, she saw a fireplace burning at the far end of the room. Is this...heaven?

You wish.

Satania shot up, looking around. Where am I? She couldn't be in heaven. If she was, she wouldn't hear...him. This must be another one of Raphiel's pranks. The walls suddenly looked less like a warm, sunflower-printed wallpaper design, and more like an actual field of flowers. Raphiel must have teleported her to another island again! Satania's eyes widened. The fire was growing. It was growing. She tried to escape the bed, but the covers held her down, smothering her. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't breathe—

"Hello, love."

And suddenly, Satania was back in the bed, they weren't tying her down, and the fire was normal again. But standing over her was the same golden-haired woman from before. The woman wasn't smiling, however. Rather, she looked concerned. "How are you feeling?" The woman asked.

Satania stared up at her, wide eyed and silent. The woman smiled slightly, sitting down. "My apologies, hon. I guess I should introduce myself first. My name is Dr. Eve Adams, nice to meet you."

Satania was quiet when she answered. "Why am I here?"

`Eve got that same look from earlier. Sad and concerned. It made the demon uneasy. "You...remember what you tried to do, right?"

Satania knew. But she stayed silent. The only sign she gave was a nod.

Worthless.

Eve continued. "Satania, I'm going to show you something, and I don't want you to panic, okay?"

Satania was already panicking. "How do you know my name?" She accused. Eve paused, then indicated the Satania's backpack at the end of the bed. "Well, that says 'the great Satania' in big bold letters. It didn't take me long to put two and two together." She laughed musically, and her laughs sounded exactly like Satania though they would.

But then her laughter ended as soon as it started. "Okay, Satania. I'm going...to show you now."

Satania went quiet again, and stated at the woman like prey about to be eaten.

And her worst fears were confirmed when Eve unveiled her wings.

Satania immediately recoiled, grabbing a pillow to hide behind. "Get away from me!" She shrieked. Of course the woman was a fucking angel. Oh...Raphiel was here, somewhere. When Eve only got closer, Satania threw the pillow, yelling, "I said, get the fuck away from me! Raphiel, I don't know what the hell is wrong with you—"

Eve had hugged her. Again. "I'm...not Raphiel, Satania. She's...not here. Although, It is news to me that you know of her. She was pretty notorious for being...evasive...when it came to her routine duties. I always wondered how she got elected to come to earth…"

Eve had suddenly realized that she was rambling. What was she talking about when the girl in her arms looked paralyzed and scared out of her mind? "Satania...look. What happened today, we don't need to talk about it. We don't even need to tell anyone about it, okay? But from now on, you're moving in with me."

Satania pulled away from the hug, looking incredulously at the woman in front of her. "What do you mean, move in with you? I don't even know you!"

Eve took a breath. "Well, from now on, I am your guardian-slash-psychotherapist. I know we don't really know each other, but um, as an angel, I'm obligated to, no, I want to—"

"And that's another thing!" Satania flung her arms up. "You're an angel! I'm a demon, if you didn't know already! Why are you taking care of me?"

Eve was honestly puzzled. There was no way to answer that question without making more questions. "Satania, What's happened to you shouldn't happen to anyone. I know every soul—human, demon, or angel—is the same. Angels and demons can act like their opposites, because there really is no opposite. I'm not taking care of a demon, I'm taking care of you, Satania."

"But..why?" Satania whispered.

Eve looked at her. "Satania...you are hurting. Deep down, you are a kind soul, you know."

She's lying! She's lying and you know it! Raphiel is out there, with the dog just behind! You are nothing!

"How would you know that?" Satania's voice rose. "You don't know anything about me!"

Eve remained calm. "I do, though. We angels can sense emotions just as accurately as a lesser succubus, and when I bumped into you, I felt all of your sadness and self loathing roil around you, Satania. But what I also know is that for self loathing and depression to exist, there has to be something that is a cause of it. And while you were sleeping, I felt everything you used to be. You were happy, love. And you can still be."

Satania stared at this woman, this fucking angel, this person whom she had no prior acquaintance with, and she collapsed. Maybe it was the mother's smile that the woman had, or the hugs that made Satania feel like bliss, but Satania decided he would give this woman a try.

"Now, hon, are you hungry?"

And Satania's head whipped up to the smell of melon bread. For the first time in a while, She craved the taste.

So what? Did I improve? Is it better? I personally feel like I made it way better. I certainly put a lot of effort into this. Congrats to WonderBlade0 on their story Pieces, and thanks man for jump-starting my creative process again. Falling apart is going to be deleted tomorrow. You got like 13 more hours, guys! Love y'all! R&R!