"Twenty-nine different attributes,

Only seven that you like, oh

Twenty ways to see the world, oh

Twenty ways to start a fight, oh"

-The Strokes

When I was young, I remembered wishing to meet someone like how they did the movies. You know, that instant love at first sight type of bullshit.

Of course, pre-teen years teach us to know better, to think more logically, to be more realistic about meeting people. At some point, everyone has had the carpet come out from under them. We learn at some point that, the things we see in movies are just fiction.

Just fiction. It's not real. No such thing.

But this man, this man who dares to look directly at me, to smirk at me, to pique my curiosity, has got me all out of sorts.

Is there such thing as an instant connection between two people? Is that really real?

I don't know if up is down, or if out is in. I've lost any capability of rational thought. All I am doing is feeling. All I can do is feel. And I'm feeling intense. He makes me tense, he makes me wary of him; but also very aware?

I've never been someone who could read people easily, and I won't pretend that I do. But this man makes me wish I knew what was going through his head right now. I want know if he's feeling whatever the hell I am feeling right now. I want to know if I am affecting him the way he so obviously affects me.

I want to know, but I don't want to know.

He is like forbidden fruit. He is the apple, and he makes me tempted to take a bite. But I know I shouldn't.

I don't believe in love. Whatever is going on between me and this strange man, is something else. But its not love.

How could I have known that he would be my end? How could I have known that he would be the cause of my soul to be damned?

I said that I would go to the ends of the earth searching for contentment. I just didn't think that spending an eternity was a way to get to it.

How screwed am I?

Re-vamped version of Halfway there. In no way do i own The Lost Boys.