Hey everyone,

Well this is it! We have come to an end. I hope you're all satisfied with the ending. I wasn't quite sure what to do! Again I have rewritten this a few times!

I'm currently in the Melbourne airport posting this from my phone so apologies for the editing lol I wanted to get this out ASAP and not leave you waiting as I'm not back for a week.

Thank you so much to all who have reviewed! Love you all! You keep me writing all of this craziness!

Fine is a 4 Letter Word.

Chapter 19.

The next morning Kate made her way downstairs, she glanced up at the kitchen clock, it was 1pm. She had slept for nearly 16 hours and couldn't remember the last time she had that much undisturbed sleep.

She stepped into her lounge room not really knowing what to do with herself. Her eyes caught the photo that she had taken out of the drawer the previous night and immediately looked away and turned and headed for the kitchen.

She opened her fridge door and scanned the shelves for anything edible, the only thing she saw that was easy was bread. Her eyes were drawn to the bottle of wine that sat in the door, she glanced over at the clock again, confirming it wasn't still morning and a reasonable time to drink. She removed the bread and the wine from the fridge and placed 2 pieces in the toaster and leaned against the bench waiting. She glanced back at the bottle of wine and scoffed.

"You're a grown up, you can handle it…"

She reached into the cupboard and grabbed a glass pouring it only about half full, she slowly raised the glass to her lips and took the tinniest sip and walked over to the mantle. She picked up the photo and smiled as she swallowed the rest of the glass.

It had been 2 days since Dutchy had seen Kate, he wanted to respect her wishes and give her the space she wanted, but he couldn't help but feel anxious. A small part of him didn't trust her, he felt awful, but she had lied to him before.

He pulled up at the front of Kate's house and sat there for a moment wondering whether he should just leave here be, he shook his head and got out the car, he couldn't leave it alone. He walked up the front path and stopped at the door, a sickening feeling of deja vu came over him as he heard music playing , his heart started to beat faster as he listened to the lyrics.

"I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I'm not enough,

Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up.

Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?

Remind me once again just who I am because I need to know.

You said I am loved, when I can't feel a thing.

You say I am strong when I think I am weak,

And you say I am held when I am falling short.

And when I don't belong, you say I am yours,

And I believe, Oh, I believe, What you say to me, I believe."

Every bone in his body told him to knock down the door and confront her, but he needed to keep calm, be rational, he needed to trust that she wasn't lying to his face again. He knocked and waited, the music continued to play.

"The only thing that matters now is everything you think of me.

In you, I find my worth, in you I find my identity…"

There was no answer, he became panicked, was she ignoring him?

He tired the door handle, it turned. He flung open the door and it hit the wall with a thud causing Kate to jump and turn towards him.

"Dutchy?"

He took a step inside her house and looked around for any warning signs, his heart sank as he spotted the empty wine bottle on the bench. He turned back to the lounge and noticed the drawer on the coffee table, he let out a sigh.

"Kate, what are you…"

He stopped as he made eye contact with her, he looked her up and down, she looked different, she was smiling and she looked radiant. He took another look around and his eyes caught a picture of Jim and Kate on the entertainment unit, and another on the other side of the TV. A smile crossed his face, the photos that had been hidden away were now proudly on display. He glanced back to Kate, he could see that she was confused by his silence, she grabbed the remote and turned off the music.

"Everything okay, Dutchy?"

He walked into the living room and picked up a picture fame and smiled, she had famed the letter from Jim declaring his love for her. Kate moved closer trying to decipher his weird demeanour.

"What are you doing here?"

His eyes darted around the room trying to think of an excuse.

"Ah…"

She placed her hands on her hips.

"You were checking up on me?"

He glanced back at her knowing that she could see right through him, she smiled and sat on the couch.

"It's okay, Dutchy, and before you say anything, I did have a glass but I tipped the rest down the sink. I wanted to prove to myself I could have one glass and be okay."

He nodded, hoping she wasn't lying. She could see he was still uneasy, she pulled on his arm and they sat on the lounge. He sat next her still not really sure that he was convinced that she was okay.

"Dylan, I know that I've got a lot of trust to earn back, from everyone, but especially from you. I've said some awful things and I…"

Dutchy placed a hand on Kate's knee, he knew how sorry she was, he didn't want her to feel guilty over more things.

"Kate, you were in pain, I get it, probably more that anyone else, but you have to swear that you're taking this seriously now…"

She nodded and let out a sigh.

"I promise, and I don't know how much my word means to you anymore but, I am. I know that people are just trying to help. I've been writing, Dr Cowan suggested I keep journals. It's helped, it's helped me highlight the wonderful things in my life too, like my friends who refuse to give up on me…"

She squeezed his hand, he looked up at her and looked into her eyes hoping he could tell if she was being authentic.

"Thanks for giving me some space."

He smiled looking into her eyes, gone was the harsh, coldness.

"Well, I hope that you don't want too much space…"

She frowned not understanding her comment.

"If that's you saying that I better return your messages when you go home, I promise, cross my heart."

He laughed as a giant grin came across his face

"That won't be necessary, I am home…"

She whacked him on the arm with excitement.

"What?"

"Maxine approved my transfer yesterday… and that's not all, so when you are ready, we go back out on Hammersley…"

Kate's smile faded and she got up and fiddled with one of the frames next to her.

"Dutchy, I don't think I'm ready just yet…"

He followed her and placed a hand on her shoulder trying to reassure her.

"Oh, I didn't mean straight away, and I'm so glad that you're able to tell me that. Maxine is okay with waiting, Mike is going back out until you're ready, and in the mean time we're at NAVCOM, no pressure, no time restraint…"

She sighed and picked at her cuticles not wanting to see his reaction to her next comment.

"What if I'm never ready?"

"Well, then you stay on shore, but I know you want to go back out, Kate, and I know you will…"

Tears fell from Kate's eyes, Dutchy was confused at her tears.

"Kate?"

She laughed and wiped her eyes.

"These are happy tears!"

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her in for a hug.

"Thanks for everything, Dutchy."

He smiled, he was so relieved and happy to have his friend back.

"Anytime, but do me a favour, can we not make a habit of this?"

4 months later

Kate stood on the deck of the Hammersley as it came along side home port. Dutchy walked out and stood behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Boss?"

She glanced back at him an smiled and turned her attention back on the glistening water.

"Yeah?"

"You okay?"

She nodded and leaned on the railing still gazing out on the water.

"Yeah, fine…"

He frowned at her choice of words and gave her a nudge and raised his eyebrow.

"Fine?"

She scoffed and rolled her eyes and turned to face him.

"Dutchy, it's not a four letter word…"

He looked confused and counted the letters in his head..

"Ah, yes, it is…"

Kate smiled and let out a laugh and turned back to face the water.

"No, I mean it's not…Never mind!"

He burst out laughing, it was like good old times, him stirring.

"I'm just messing with you, I know it's not a bad word, but history tells me different…"

She leaned her head on his shoulder and let out a laugh.

"Touche…"

"We gonna have a drink at the pub tonight? To celebrate your triumphant return?"

She nodded and looked back into the bridge, 2Dads caught her eye and gave her a wink.

"Yeah, 1 won't hurt…"

Kate stood in front of her wardrobe and shuffled the coat hangers, she stopped as she spotted the pink dress that she wore on their first date. She pulled the hanger out of the wardrobe and held it against her, she closed her eyes, she swore that she could feel him standing next to her. A single tear trickled down her cheek as she heard his voice in her head. "Just be happy Kate." She opened her eyes and took a deep breath in and changed into the dress.

She walked into the pub and spotted the crew at the bar and approached them smiling, she was feeling good, confident. 2Dads leaned and whispered in Dutchy's ear, they both turned to face her with smiles on their faces.

"Hey fellas…"

2Dads handed her a glass of wine and looked her up and down.

"Boss, you look…"

She smiled and took a sip of her wine.

"Thanks..."

They walked to a table and sat down, 2Dads and Dutchy sat on one side and Kate on the other. As they chatted general she noticed both 2Dads and Dutchy's eyes darting back and forth between something or someone behind her and each other. Kate stopped taking and waved her hands in their faces.

"Hello?"

2Dads and Dutchy snapped back to reality and looked at each other after seeing Kate's annoyed expression.

"What are you two staring at?"

Dutchy peered over Kate's shoulder again.

"Ah, nothing, ah there's just, ah, hang on sec…"

Dutchy got up and walked over to someone standing at the bar behind her, Kate turned to try and see what was happening. She was about to turn back around but a familiar face caught her eye, she immediately rose from her chair and chased after Dutchy.

He was at the bar giving a guy a bit of a serve when Kate pulled him away.

"It's okay Dutchy, I got this…"

The guy smiled and approached them.

"Brooke, it is you!"

She hesitated before answering, Dutchy's face dropped hearing him call her Brooke, he refused to leave them. He gripped her arm.

"Brooke? This isn't..."

Kate shook her head immediately dismissing the thought.

"It's okay, Dutchy…"

She gave his a slight push back to the table, he walked off but to the bar where he could keep a closer eyes on her, 2Dads joined him. Kate gave them a scowl and turned back to the man in front of her.

"Ah, sorry about that, Jake, how are you?"

He smiled at the confirmation that she remembered him.

"I thought it was you, but you're hair's different…"

She glanced back at 2Dads and Dutchy giving them a slight nod to let them know it was okay.

"Of all the pubs in all the places…"

"Ah, yeah…"

She took a few more steps away from the table hoping 2Dads and Dutchy couldn't hear their conversation.

"You look beautiful…"

"Ah, thanks, but what are you doing here?"

He was hesitant about her tone, she sounded annoyed.

"Ah, just down here for work actually…"

Kate nodded, a silence fell over their conversation, Jake reached out and touched her arm, she flinched a little and he pretended not to notice.

"So umm, you know when I wrote in my note, if you're ever in town, I meant surrounding areas too?"

Kate's eyes darted around the room, she felt terrible for lying to him, he didn't do anything wrong.

"Ah, yeah, umm, I actually live here…"

He let out a nervous laugh and rubbed the back of his neck embarrassed.

"Oh, okay, well, don't I look like the desperate one…"

She smiled and tried to make him feel better.

"Well, I actually didn't know if you were serious…"

"Brooke, I don't just leave my number for anyone…"

Kate stood there and wondered if she should come clean, he was still a stranger, but this wasn't the person she was.

"Ah, while we're on that, ah, my name is actually Kate…"

He tilted his head at her confession.

"Oh, so you played me, huh?"

She rolled her eyes at the thought and laughed.

"Yeah, I'm such a player, don't hate the player, hate the game, baby…"

She cringed at her own statement, it wasn't her, Jake could see she was uncomfortable.

"Hey, you know what, I kinda get it, protecting yourself. I mean guys can be real creeps right? But, we're not all like that…"

"Yeah well, while we're on that subject, I just want you to know that I'm not that person…"

"What do you mean? You're not sexy, confident, awesome, fun…"

She blushed and focused on the floor, he glanced behind her, 2Dads and Dutchy's eyes were firmly planted on him.

"Ah, are they your brothers or something, cos they're looking at me like they wanna kill me…"

She turned and gave them a glare and waved her hand at them signaling them to mind their own business. They sat there smiling sweetly and ignored her and kept staring.

"Nah, they're my crew…"

He let out a laugh as his eyes widened.

"You're in a gang?"

She laughed and shook her head.

"No, worse, the Navy…"

He smiled and looked back at 2Dads and Dutchy.

"Ah, you wanna tell them that I'm friendly then?"

A cheeky smiled crossed her face.

"But it's more fun this way!"

He grinned and touched her arm, Dutchy frowned seeing the contact.

"So, anyway, why didn't you think I was serious?"

"Well, I dunno, I just, look, like I said before, when we met in Port Douglas, I was, well that's not who I am."

"Who were you then?"

She had to think about it, some of it had to be her because she did those things.

"Well, Brooke? But umm, yeah I…"

He could see she was struggling, he didn't want to seem like a jerk.

"Kate, you don't need to explain. The night we met you did say something a little strange, and it kind makes sense now."

Kate ran her hands over face hoping she hadn't made a complete fool of herself, Jake laughed and peeled her hands off her face and she glanced up at him.

"What did I say?"

"It was kind of poetic actually… we were just laying in bed talking about about life and all the crap that comes with it, all the complications and out of no where you said, okay, here's the truth about the truth, it hurts, so we lie…"

Kate stood there taking in the words she was obviously talking about her grief and not being able to deal with it.

"It's okay, you don't need to say anything, but, if anything, it made me like you more."

Kate winced, she could tell where this was going and she didn't want to lead him on.

"Jake…"

He laughed stopping her from having to explain.

"I know that tone, Kate, it's fine, I'm not expecting anything from you. Look, we had a good time and I'm not gonna lie, I like you but I can see you're either not ready or not interest and that's fine, but does it mean we can't be friends?"

She shook her head and smiled.

"Why don't you come and have a drink with us, just ah, can you leave out Port Douglas from the conversation?"

He gave her a friendly nudge.

"What? You're embarrassed by me?"

She let out a laugh and paused.

"Ah, the truth?"

He nodded and laughed nervously.

"Umm, actually, I think this in situation it's okay to lie..."

The End.

Please let me know what you thought! Xx

P.S. incase you're wondering the song from this chapter is another Lauren Daigle song, "You Say." its a beautiful song.