Gundam SEED Special!
Chapter 20: The SEEDlings Grow . . .
Diakka and Milly from Gundam SEED walk into the video game store next to the pub. They see the salesmen at the counter, who just so happens to be Frey Astlar.
Frey: My break is coming soon. Make it quick.
Diakka: This game doesn't work in on my PS2! It says it needs a memory card!
Frey: . . . So?
Diakka: You should have told me that my I needed one!
Frey: The game also requires a PS2, a Dualshock 2 controller, and television. I kind of think that's common sense . . . not to mention that it says "Requires a Memory Card" on the box . . .
Diakka: Give me my money back! I want it back!
Frey: That's nice. How about I refund your $2 rental charge, and you can pay me $6 for the extra six days you kept this game that apparently didn't work?
Diakka: You're not a very good salesman.
Frey: You're not a very good liar.
Back in the pub, Nichol is getting stoned and is sitting next to Sai, Archangel Operator. Sai scratches his eyes.
Nichol: Fuck you too buddy!
Sai: Excuse me! Why did you curse at me?
Nichol: WHY? Because you, (hic) you flicked me off!
Sai: I did what again?
Nichol (Totally wasted): You flipped me off, you son of a bitch!
Sai: Umm, I was scratching my eyes.
Nichol: You calling (hic) me a liar? Want me to kick your ass?
Sai: Let's act like grown men here.
Nichol: What? Are you calling me (hic) a women just because everyone thinks I look like one?!
Sai: You look like a girl?
Nichol gets up from his chair.
Nichol: You asshole! No one makes fun of me! Now I'm really gonna' (hic) kick your ass!
Sai: Sir, I think you had too many drinks.
Nichol: NOW YOU CALLING ME A DRUNK?!
Sai (Trying to calm down Nichol): No sir, It's just that you seem too young to be drinking a . . .
Nichol grabs Sai by the shirt.
Nichol: YOU CALLING ME A LITTLE KID YOU YAOI FREAK!!!
Sai: Please let go of me, sir.
Nichol: What you gonna' (hic) do about it, you hippie reject!
Sai: You son of a bitch! How dare you associate me with a bunch of slackers!
Sai beats the crap out of the wasted Nichol. Sai passes the table where some of the girls are and promptly tosses Nichol out of the bar window.
Sai: Yeah, bitch!
Meanwhile, the girls are busy fanning themselves, looking across the street.
Elle: What's going on over there?
Four: Looks like Scirroco is giving Kira a few lessons . . .
Across the street, at a large house, a lesson is taking place as the Godfather theme plays in the background. Kira looks innocent as usual.
Scirroco (In an Italian accent): Now, Kira, my young Padawan learner, you have come very far in your training. It's time for you to continue learning the advanced techniques of a mafia leader.
Kira: Yes, Don Paptimus.
Scirroco (Waving his hand back and forth like an Italian Mafioso): Now, whose house does this belong to?
Kira: Umm . . . Issac, from my series.
Scirroco: No, no, no, my boy. That's not what I meant. All that we care is that we bought some of your goods, he didn't show, and he didn't pay. Now, show me what you got . . .
Kira knocks on the door. Issac answers.
Issac: Hello? Oh, it's just you, Kira . . .
Kira tackles Issac onto the ground and promptly punches him repeatedly while screaming at him.
Kira: Where's my money, bitch?! Huh? Huh?! Where's it at?! Huh?! I can't here you!
Issac: Mph . . . bah . . . *cough* . . . agh . . .
Kira: I want my money you little prick! "Agh"?! What's "agh"? Speak some English son of a bitch!
A few minutes pass, Kira leaves the house with a suitcase filled with money. As he leaves, he cleans the blood off of his nice suit and smiles angelically like he usually does as if nothing went wrong.
Kira: Here it is, Don Paptimus.
Scirroco: . . . I counted 5 minutes, 2 seconds. What do you think boys?
Yazan Gable: I think he did good, boss, real good.
Harry Ord: What can I say, he's a natural . . . or a coordinator, whatever . . .
Michelo Chariot: Hmm, he gets a 10 on the effort, but I think he only deserves a 9 on the -
The Freedom Gundam's foot crashes down and crushes Michelo. Scirroco claps.
Scirroco: I have taught you well my boy. Now, go get some of your goods and let's get stoned!
Haman Khan, Harry Ord, Chronicle Asher, Zechs Marquise, Kycilia Zabi, Iron Mask Korozo, and Uluube Ishikawa all sit together at a large table drinking while Char speaks to them all. Lau Lu Cruize rushes through the bar's door. Muu La Fraga stops him and tries to start a conversation.
Fraga: Hey, Cruize, what's up? Long time no see.
Cruize: No time to talk, I'm gonna' be late for my first AA meeting.
Fraga: Just one second.
Cruize: Sorry Muu, but we both are new to this franchise, I suggest getting to know some of the other stars. One word of advice, avoid some of the 0083 guys. Not many of them are well liked. Well, I'm gonna' be late I'll talk to you when my AA meeting is over.
They both go their respective ways and after two hours of Char's sermon the meeting is called to an end. Lau Lu Cruize walks back over to where Muu was.
Cruize: Now where did he go?
In one of the bathroom stalls, Muu opens it up . . .
Fraga: Ready to go?
In the corner of the stall, Mariyu Ramias stands there naked.
Mariyu: Oh, is happy hour over?
Fraga: Heh, be back in a little bit. You just sit tight.
Mariyu (Fixing her hair and putting her clothes back on): Alright . . .
He walks out of the bathroom and meets up with Cruize.
Cruize: So, have fun with anybody interesting?
Fraga: Oh hell yeah, but umm, that was with someone I'm already acquainted with . . . but, yeah, I met a couple of guys. There was this one cool guy named Sleggar Law or something. But you were definitely right about those 0083 jerks, they're the worst conversation ever.
Cruize: I warned you.
Fraga: Oh yeah, I tried to ask you earlier but you were busy, why the heck are they holding an AA meeting in a bar.
Cruize: This is where they have always held it.
Fraga: But isn't it kinda' redundant to hold an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in a bar?!?
Cruize: Yeah, that would be silly.
Fraga: Then why do you hold it here then?
Cruize: Oh, no you're thinking of a different AA, that wasn't an alcoholics meeting.
Fraga: Well what else could AA mean?
Cruize: It's simple. Look at my mask.
Fraga: . . . I don't get it.
Cruize: It's a course to try and build my self-confidence so I don't have to rip off of an already popular Gundam villain. It teaches me to be my own villain, to take off the cheesy cliché mask I hide behind.
Fraga: Huh?
Cruize: It's a seminar taught by the Red Comet himself because he is tired of people ripping off his mojo. It targets people who are nothing more than cheap clones of him and teaches them to break free. It's "Aznable's Anonymous".
Fraga: Ah, I see.
Char: How's my new student?
Cruize: Doing fine, Professor.
Char: Excellent . . .
Cruize: Looks like this is the best way to go since that whole Liquid Char incident . . .
Char: Of course it is . . . being the genius that I am.
Lakus/Lux Klein and Kagari walk in.
Char: Nice . . .
Cruize: Don't even think about it, she's taken already.
Char: Damn.
Cruize: And by someone her age. Who has a Gundam with some VERY big guns . . .
Kira puts his arm around her and walks into the pub right by Char, Cruize, and Fraga.
Char: What, this little punk can satisfy her?
Fraga: Hey, you ever watch an episode of SEED?
Char: Yeah . . .
Fraga: You know how Kira's eyes just turn green while fighting and he starts kicking major ass?
Char: That whole "SEED Mode" thing? Yeah . . .?
Fraga: Imagine him doing that in the bedroom . . .
Lakus winks at the guys as her and Kira walk off.
Cruize: Damn . . .
Suddenly, Natarle, Muruto Azrael, and the three pilot of the Raider, Calamity, and Forbidden Gundams, Clotho Buer, Shani, and Oruga Sabnack walk in. Everyone looks at them as they make their way to the center of the pub. Clotho and Oruga give each other strange looks.
Cruize: What's up with them?
Clotho and Oruga nod at each other, then at Natarle. Natarle slides in a turn table set and slides it over to Shani. She then pulls a microphone out and hands it to Azrael.
Shani: Yo, yo, yo, We are in the house! Can you feel me!?
Kira: Thankfully not.
Cruize: I hate white boys trying to be "down with the hood".
Fraga: And I though the author of this story hated rap music . . .
Oruga: It's called freestyling! Get it straight!
Shani then starts turning the turntables and "scratches" them while imitating them by making noises.
Shani: Err, icka, err, err, err, ssh, err . . .
Oruga: I'm Oruga, kids not be mixed up with that Judau prick, I know when I walk by they call me a psycho bitch, but I know that I'm just an average joe fucking up Kira and other Archangel mo'fo . . .
Clotho: You think you're nice? You think you're my equal? I'm like Terminator 3 while you're like some Legally Blonde sequel. You may think I'm whack just 'cause my skin ain't black, but take your hands off your micro-sack 'cause whitey just struck back.
Oruga: You act like you've never seen a psycho-ass villain before, jaws all on the floor, like the Frost Brothers doing it doggie style with Shagia wanting more, and Trowa and Quatre just burst in the door and started smacking their asses worse than before.
Clotho: You better watch your mouth boy before I blow you down like Hathaway Noa. Don't expect me to shut up just like Trowa. Chan Agi got it like "boom, boom, boom" but just couldn't touch this. Watch this. Take this. Mask villains ripping off Char every two minutes has got him going "fuck this, not that again". Will the real Red Comet please stand up, please stand up?
Char and all of his clones stand up. Char smacks himself and smacks them all.
Shani: Err, chika, err, err, err, ssh, ssh, err, burr, chika err . . .
Azrael: Nice job, boys. (He turns to Natarle) Well.
Natarle pays them.
Oruga: Hell yeah!
Clotho: Snooch to the mooch, motherfucker!
Shani and Azrael go to high five each other, but they miss miserably and Azrael falls onto the turntable equipment.
Azrael: Oww . . . I think I broke something . . . this is coming out of your salary . . . mind helping me here, Natarle?
Natarle helps him up.
Azrael: Onto the stage boys, it's time to look like a bunch of rock-star wannabes.
The boys do so. Azrael pulls himself together.
Azrael: So, Natarle, how's about you . . . and I . . .
Natarle: As long as it doesn't involve you putting anymore bullets into me, I'm for it.
Everyone else cheers as the trio gets onto the stage with rock band equipment. Kira sees Muu going off to the bathroom.
Kira: Hey, Muu, where are you going? We're all going to get stoned!
Fraga: Not now, Kira, I feel happy hour coming on again!
The Justice Gundam flies over the pub.
Azlan: Now, how is it that a SEED special is going on, and I hardly make an appearance?
Cruize's Providence Gundam suddenly flies out of nowhere and blasts Justice to hell.
Azrael: And the moral of today kiddies is to be careful of what you wish for. To everyone, have a merry nigh and a happy YATTA!
To Be Continued . . .
Chapter 20: The SEEDlings Grow . . .
Diakka and Milly from Gundam SEED walk into the video game store next to the pub. They see the salesmen at the counter, who just so happens to be Frey Astlar.
Frey: My break is coming soon. Make it quick.
Diakka: This game doesn't work in on my PS2! It says it needs a memory card!
Frey: . . . So?
Diakka: You should have told me that my I needed one!
Frey: The game also requires a PS2, a Dualshock 2 controller, and television. I kind of think that's common sense . . . not to mention that it says "Requires a Memory Card" on the box . . .
Diakka: Give me my money back! I want it back!
Frey: That's nice. How about I refund your $2 rental charge, and you can pay me $6 for the extra six days you kept this game that apparently didn't work?
Diakka: You're not a very good salesman.
Frey: You're not a very good liar.
Back in the pub, Nichol is getting stoned and is sitting next to Sai, Archangel Operator. Sai scratches his eyes.
Nichol: Fuck you too buddy!
Sai: Excuse me! Why did you curse at me?
Nichol: WHY? Because you, (hic) you flicked me off!
Sai: I did what again?
Nichol (Totally wasted): You flipped me off, you son of a bitch!
Sai: Umm, I was scratching my eyes.
Nichol: You calling (hic) me a liar? Want me to kick your ass?
Sai: Let's act like grown men here.
Nichol: What? Are you calling me (hic) a women just because everyone thinks I look like one?!
Sai: You look like a girl?
Nichol gets up from his chair.
Nichol: You asshole! No one makes fun of me! Now I'm really gonna' (hic) kick your ass!
Sai: Sir, I think you had too many drinks.
Nichol: NOW YOU CALLING ME A DRUNK?!
Sai (Trying to calm down Nichol): No sir, It's just that you seem too young to be drinking a . . .
Nichol grabs Sai by the shirt.
Nichol: YOU CALLING ME A LITTLE KID YOU YAOI FREAK!!!
Sai: Please let go of me, sir.
Nichol: What you gonna' (hic) do about it, you hippie reject!
Sai: You son of a bitch! How dare you associate me with a bunch of slackers!
Sai beats the crap out of the wasted Nichol. Sai passes the table where some of the girls are and promptly tosses Nichol out of the bar window.
Sai: Yeah, bitch!
Meanwhile, the girls are busy fanning themselves, looking across the street.
Elle: What's going on over there?
Four: Looks like Scirroco is giving Kira a few lessons . . .
Across the street, at a large house, a lesson is taking place as the Godfather theme plays in the background. Kira looks innocent as usual.
Scirroco (In an Italian accent): Now, Kira, my young Padawan learner, you have come very far in your training. It's time for you to continue learning the advanced techniques of a mafia leader.
Kira: Yes, Don Paptimus.
Scirroco (Waving his hand back and forth like an Italian Mafioso): Now, whose house does this belong to?
Kira: Umm . . . Issac, from my series.
Scirroco: No, no, no, my boy. That's not what I meant. All that we care is that we bought some of your goods, he didn't show, and he didn't pay. Now, show me what you got . . .
Kira knocks on the door. Issac answers.
Issac: Hello? Oh, it's just you, Kira . . .
Kira tackles Issac onto the ground and promptly punches him repeatedly while screaming at him.
Kira: Where's my money, bitch?! Huh? Huh?! Where's it at?! Huh?! I can't here you!
Issac: Mph . . . bah . . . *cough* . . . agh . . .
Kira: I want my money you little prick! "Agh"?! What's "agh"? Speak some English son of a bitch!
A few minutes pass, Kira leaves the house with a suitcase filled with money. As he leaves, he cleans the blood off of his nice suit and smiles angelically like he usually does as if nothing went wrong.
Kira: Here it is, Don Paptimus.
Scirroco: . . . I counted 5 minutes, 2 seconds. What do you think boys?
Yazan Gable: I think he did good, boss, real good.
Harry Ord: What can I say, he's a natural . . . or a coordinator, whatever . . .
Michelo Chariot: Hmm, he gets a 10 on the effort, but I think he only deserves a 9 on the -
The Freedom Gundam's foot crashes down and crushes Michelo. Scirroco claps.
Scirroco: I have taught you well my boy. Now, go get some of your goods and let's get stoned!
Haman Khan, Harry Ord, Chronicle Asher, Zechs Marquise, Kycilia Zabi, Iron Mask Korozo, and Uluube Ishikawa all sit together at a large table drinking while Char speaks to them all. Lau Lu Cruize rushes through the bar's door. Muu La Fraga stops him and tries to start a conversation.
Fraga: Hey, Cruize, what's up? Long time no see.
Cruize: No time to talk, I'm gonna' be late for my first AA meeting.
Fraga: Just one second.
Cruize: Sorry Muu, but we both are new to this franchise, I suggest getting to know some of the other stars. One word of advice, avoid some of the 0083 guys. Not many of them are well liked. Well, I'm gonna' be late I'll talk to you when my AA meeting is over.
They both go their respective ways and after two hours of Char's sermon the meeting is called to an end. Lau Lu Cruize walks back over to where Muu was.
Cruize: Now where did he go?
In one of the bathroom stalls, Muu opens it up . . .
Fraga: Ready to go?
In the corner of the stall, Mariyu Ramias stands there naked.
Mariyu: Oh, is happy hour over?
Fraga: Heh, be back in a little bit. You just sit tight.
Mariyu (Fixing her hair and putting her clothes back on): Alright . . .
He walks out of the bathroom and meets up with Cruize.
Cruize: So, have fun with anybody interesting?
Fraga: Oh hell yeah, but umm, that was with someone I'm already acquainted with . . . but, yeah, I met a couple of guys. There was this one cool guy named Sleggar Law or something. But you were definitely right about those 0083 jerks, they're the worst conversation ever.
Cruize: I warned you.
Fraga: Oh yeah, I tried to ask you earlier but you were busy, why the heck are they holding an AA meeting in a bar.
Cruize: This is where they have always held it.
Fraga: But isn't it kinda' redundant to hold an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in a bar?!?
Cruize: Yeah, that would be silly.
Fraga: Then why do you hold it here then?
Cruize: Oh, no you're thinking of a different AA, that wasn't an alcoholics meeting.
Fraga: Well what else could AA mean?
Cruize: It's simple. Look at my mask.
Fraga: . . . I don't get it.
Cruize: It's a course to try and build my self-confidence so I don't have to rip off of an already popular Gundam villain. It teaches me to be my own villain, to take off the cheesy cliché mask I hide behind.
Fraga: Huh?
Cruize: It's a seminar taught by the Red Comet himself because he is tired of people ripping off his mojo. It targets people who are nothing more than cheap clones of him and teaches them to break free. It's "Aznable's Anonymous".
Fraga: Ah, I see.
Char: How's my new student?
Cruize: Doing fine, Professor.
Char: Excellent . . .
Cruize: Looks like this is the best way to go since that whole Liquid Char incident . . .
Char: Of course it is . . . being the genius that I am.
Lakus/Lux Klein and Kagari walk in.
Char: Nice . . .
Cruize: Don't even think about it, she's taken already.
Char: Damn.
Cruize: And by someone her age. Who has a Gundam with some VERY big guns . . .
Kira puts his arm around her and walks into the pub right by Char, Cruize, and Fraga.
Char: What, this little punk can satisfy her?
Fraga: Hey, you ever watch an episode of SEED?
Char: Yeah . . .
Fraga: You know how Kira's eyes just turn green while fighting and he starts kicking major ass?
Char: That whole "SEED Mode" thing? Yeah . . .?
Fraga: Imagine him doing that in the bedroom . . .
Lakus winks at the guys as her and Kira walk off.
Cruize: Damn . . .
Suddenly, Natarle, Muruto Azrael, and the three pilot of the Raider, Calamity, and Forbidden Gundams, Clotho Buer, Shani, and Oruga Sabnack walk in. Everyone looks at them as they make their way to the center of the pub. Clotho and Oruga give each other strange looks.
Cruize: What's up with them?
Clotho and Oruga nod at each other, then at Natarle. Natarle slides in a turn table set and slides it over to Shani. She then pulls a microphone out and hands it to Azrael.
Shani: Yo, yo, yo, We are in the house! Can you feel me!?
Kira: Thankfully not.
Cruize: I hate white boys trying to be "down with the hood".
Fraga: And I though the author of this story hated rap music . . .
Oruga: It's called freestyling! Get it straight!
Shani then starts turning the turntables and "scratches" them while imitating them by making noises.
Shani: Err, icka, err, err, err, ssh, err . . .
Oruga: I'm Oruga, kids not be mixed up with that Judau prick, I know when I walk by they call me a psycho bitch, but I know that I'm just an average joe fucking up Kira and other Archangel mo'fo . . .
Clotho: You think you're nice? You think you're my equal? I'm like Terminator 3 while you're like some Legally Blonde sequel. You may think I'm whack just 'cause my skin ain't black, but take your hands off your micro-sack 'cause whitey just struck back.
Oruga: You act like you've never seen a psycho-ass villain before, jaws all on the floor, like the Frost Brothers doing it doggie style with Shagia wanting more, and Trowa and Quatre just burst in the door and started smacking their asses worse than before.
Clotho: You better watch your mouth boy before I blow you down like Hathaway Noa. Don't expect me to shut up just like Trowa. Chan Agi got it like "boom, boom, boom" but just couldn't touch this. Watch this. Take this. Mask villains ripping off Char every two minutes has got him going "fuck this, not that again". Will the real Red Comet please stand up, please stand up?
Char and all of his clones stand up. Char smacks himself and smacks them all.
Shani: Err, chika, err, err, err, ssh, ssh, err, burr, chika err . . .
Azrael: Nice job, boys. (He turns to Natarle) Well.
Natarle pays them.
Oruga: Hell yeah!
Clotho: Snooch to the mooch, motherfucker!
Shani and Azrael go to high five each other, but they miss miserably and Azrael falls onto the turntable equipment.
Azrael: Oww . . . I think I broke something . . . this is coming out of your salary . . . mind helping me here, Natarle?
Natarle helps him up.
Azrael: Onto the stage boys, it's time to look like a bunch of rock-star wannabes.
The boys do so. Azrael pulls himself together.
Azrael: So, Natarle, how's about you . . . and I . . .
Natarle: As long as it doesn't involve you putting anymore bullets into me, I'm for it.
Everyone else cheers as the trio gets onto the stage with rock band equipment. Kira sees Muu going off to the bathroom.
Kira: Hey, Muu, where are you going? We're all going to get stoned!
Fraga: Not now, Kira, I feel happy hour coming on again!
The Justice Gundam flies over the pub.
Azlan: Now, how is it that a SEED special is going on, and I hardly make an appearance?
Cruize's Providence Gundam suddenly flies out of nowhere and blasts Justice to hell.
Azrael: And the moral of today kiddies is to be careful of what you wish for. To everyone, have a merry nigh and a happy YATTA!
To Be Continued . . .