Chapter 1 Notes: This sequel took a while to post because I wanted to go back and read A Hard Knock Life in its entirety along with all the comments it received in order to make sure I didn't miss anything or leave any loose ends untied in the sequel. This sequel is already feeling like it wants to be a little darker than the first part of the story, as though the honeymoon is over so to speak, and there will be a bit more angst, some not-so-good behavior, and longer periods of time between the warm, fuzzy family feels than there was in the first part of the story.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own obsession with Gilmore Girls

Jeremy turned onto one of the dirt roads in the wooded area on the outskirts of Stars Hollow. This was his favorite place to ride. It was peaceful out here. He rarely needed to worry about traffic, and no one would see him if he wiped out and embarrassed himself. Not that he'd ever actually fallen off his bike so far, but he worried about it happening. All in all, it made for a good thinking spot. Once Jess had been convinced that his eye had completely healed, he had taken Jeremy out to practice on the bike a few more times early in the summer, until Jeremy had gotten comfortable enough to ride by himself. Jeremy knew he still wasn't as confident on the bike as he would have been if he had grown up riding one, and he still rode cautiously, not going too fast and avoiding the steeper inclines where it was sometimes hard to control his speed, but he was enjoying it just the same. He rode his bike around town to run errands and out here solely for fun. He knew having a car would be a huge convenience once he started classes at WCC, but right now, he was content to take his car out about once a week, and stick to the bike for everything else.

Jeremy knew that his attachment to his bike stemmed from a mental association of bicycles with idyllic childhoods. Something about riding his bike, especially in a town as cute and safe as Stars Hollows, held such a strong connotation to the mythical happy, suburban childhood that Jeremy had always fantasized about that he could almost convince himself that he had had one of his own. When he was riding around on his bike, he could imagine himself as a boy of ten or twelve, sometimes with the faceless loving parents that had populated the fantasy's of his youth, sometimes already living with Jess, maybe even with brothers and sisters, on his way home for dinner with his family before heading outside again to play in the always safe street with friends before being called in by his imaginary mom or Jess when the evening got dark enough for the streetlights to come on. His day ending with being tucked into bed, warm and safe and loved, with the goodnight kiss to prove it. He knew he had so much in his life now, so many people to love and be grateful for, that he should no longer need that kind of fantasy. And, he didn't need it. Not really. Not to sustain him in the bleakness of the present the way he once had. His present was good now, and he had no complaints about it. But, something about riding his bike and indulging in the fantasy, even for a few minutes, felt healing to Jeremy, as though recreating his childhood in the image of what he had now was helping him to work through some of his real past, freeing him to be the happy and loved boy on a bike that he hadn't gotten to be back then.

Jeremy stood as he pedaled, reflecting on how quickly the summer had gone by. He would be starting school in a couple of weeks. A lot of Jeremy's summer had been spent working, full day shifts in the diner along with evening shifts at the theater four nights a week, where he sold tickets, scooped popcorn and ran a projector that he was pretty sure was older than he was. For the first time in his life, he felt like he was making decent money. And because he had very minimal expenses, treats for Winston here, a pizza for himself there, his part of the cell phone bill that he had convinced Jess to let him pay, car insurance and gas, he was able to accumulate most of his earnings in his savings account. He liked the feeling of having security, something that was his. He savored the safe feeling he got when he looked at his bank balance online.

And being friendless made saving money easier. Jeremy sighed as he thought about his social life, or current lack thereof. He hadn't kept in touch with anyone from school after graduation. While all of his former classmates were pleasant and friendly when he saw them at the theater or served them in the diner, he hadn't formed the kind of friendships in his half a year at Stars Hollow high that would make anyone seek him out to spend time with outside of school. And, he had lost the one, kind-of-real friend he had made over the prom situation. A few weeks after graduation, Andy and Charlotte had gotten back to together, and cut Cassidy out of their social circle. He had run into her in Doose's a few days later. They had ended up walking around the square a little and talking. She had apologized, admitting she had known even at the time how shitty she was being, but she had liked Andy for so long that she felt like she had to try with him when he had asked her to the prom at the last minute. Jeremy had accepted her apology, telling her there were no hard feelings, even as he wondered if she would have ever sought him out if they hadn't almost bumped into each other in the store, or if she hadn't lost most of her social connections along with Andy and Charlotte. What he'd said had been true, though. He hadn't felt angry anymore, just kind of tired about the whole thing. They had talked about getting together to grab food or go to a movie before Cassidy left for volleyball camp in July, and then college in the fall.

When she had texted to make a plan, Jeremy had surprised himself by declining her offer, realizing he was tired of settling in his relationships, of being friends with people who treated him badly because he thought it was better and safer than having no friends at all. He wasn't alone anymore. He had people who wanted to be around him and who treated him well, and now that he knew what that felt like, it seemed like a waste to spend time and emotional energy on people who didn't. He had felt a little proud of himself, at having the self-esteem to say no and have standards on how he wanted to be treated. He had spent a decent chunk of his non-work time alone this summer, just thinking and riding his bike, but he couldn't say he had actually felt lonely. He reflected on the difference between having alone time thrust upon him, as he had so often in his childhood, and choosing it for himself. Also, knowing he had family to come home to everyday took the sting out of spending time alone. He had been alone, really alone, enough during his life to know to realize how far he was from being alone now.

Jeremy thought about Jess. His dad no longer had to cover a breakfast shift at the diner, since Jeremy was there in the mornings now. Jess still drove for Uber, but only one day a week. He had started taking one full day a week off from work and he no longer drove on the evenings after working at the bookstore. Jeremy was glad to see Jess giving himself a break, even if he was a little resentful that the schedule change likely had more to do with Jess dating Ms. Howard than it did with him making time for his son. Jeremy knew he shouldn't complain, that he had benefited from Jess's reduced work schedule, too.

They had made a lot of good memories this summer, just them, like the third time out with the bike when Jess had admitted that he had never learned how to ride a bike himself and then tried out Jeremy's with pretty comical results, or the games of catch played on Jeremy's occasional evening off, or the Scrabble games, or Winston walks, or dinners made together in the kitchen. Jess had had more free time to spend with him and Jeremy appreciated it. He really did. Jess had also made more time for Ms. Howard, dating the woman through the summer, but not yet bringing her around the apartment or introducing her to the rest of the family. Jess had told Jeremy that he wanted to make sure things were solid with him and Mallory, that their relationship felt like something that was going to last, before he brought her around Jeremy as his girlfriend or introduced her to the rest of the family. They went out about two or three times a week, sometimes with Jess coming home, alone but grinning, after a date and sometimes, when he had planned in advance and given Jeremy notice, he spent the night at Ms. Howard's apartment.

Jeremy could still remember how odd it had felt the first time Jess had stayed out all night, he and Winston going to bed in the empty apartment. He knew he had felt more emotional that night than the situation had warranted, sad and stressed like a small child with separation anxiety leaving his parents for his first sleepover, and the memory still embarrassed him. So, did the dark thoughts that had kept him up for hours that night. The ones that had been with him all his life, that told him that the last year had been nice, but it wasn't his real life, that Jess would get tired of having him around, that Jess would start a new family with Mallory, have real kids of his own and not want him around anymore, that Luke and Winston would die and leave him, that he'd never make real friends, that he'd end up alone again. That that was what he deserved. He tried to shut the thoughts out, to lock them back up in the dangerous vault in the back of his mind where they usually hid, behind the heavy security door in the company of fuzzy sense memories of his mother, his one visit with his father in prison, and the worst video clips from his past in foster care. But once they had wedged open the door and gotten a toe into his active mind, it was too late. The thoughts had tormented him off and on all night. Jeremy had tossed and turned and cried, tried curling up on the floor next to Winston for comfort, clutching his stuffed Eeyore in bed. Nothing had worked and the thoughts hadn't let up until the sun had risen and birds were chirping, leaving him feeling foolish and overactive in the light of day. It had gotten a little less intense every time Jess had slept out, but they still weren't nights that Jeremy looked forward to.

Jeremy also knew that some of his daytime thoughts weren't good either. He could tell he was a little jealous of how much time Jess was spending with Ms. Howard. He knew it was stupid, but he felt it anyway. He thought back to his first visit to Stars Hollow and how his first reaction to watching Jess with April had been jealousy. And, now April was his family, too. He was pretty sure she texted him more often than she did Jess. It still made him happy to remember the trip to Boston for the Red Sox game in June, sitting in the stands at Fenway with Jess, Luke and April, one comfortable, happy little family, cheering on the Sox and booing the Yankees, no one mentioning his past lie when Luke bought them bags of peanuts, and a soda for him and beers for everyone else. April getting tipsy off one beer and throwing an arm around his shoulders as they walked with the crowd, trailing behind Luke and Jess as they exited the ballpark, telling him that she loved having him for a cousin, that she hated the thought of him not having a family when he was a kid, that she was super glad he had found Jess and became a part of their family, and lastly, as if he couldn't tell, that she didn't drink very often. Jeremy smiled at the memory as he turned his bike around to head home to help Jess with dinner.

He knew the jealousy he had felt over April back in Stars Hollow had come from a place of fear, at being replaced or excluded, just as his jealousy over Ms. Howard did now. He knew it was a childish emotion to feel a sense of loss over Jess dating someone, but he was proud of himself for not letting on to Jess about how he felt. If his jealousy felt selfish and childish, then subjugating his feelings for the sake of a loved one's happiness felt self-sacrificing and grown-up, the kind of thing an adult would do. And, everything with April had worked out well. He hadn't lost anything at all there, had only gained a cousin, so he had to believe that maybe this would be for the better, too. He was working hard on trying to be more optimistic.

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"So, uh…." Jess started, hating that this conversation was bringing back some of the nerves he had thought he was long past with his son. Jess watched the boy look up at him expectantly, fork paused halfway between his plate and his mouth. "So, there's something I want to talk to you about." He wanted to be careful. Above all else he didn't want to hurt Jeremy's feelings or make the kid feel, even for a second, like he wasn't the most important person in Jess's life.

Jess watched Jeremy frown slightly and furrow his brow, not liking that the kid was automatically anticipating something bad. "Ok. What is it?"

"Mallory's birthday is at the end of the month, and I'm thinking about taking her away for the weekend over Labor Day to celebrate it. But, I wanted to run the idea past you first."

Jess was relieved to see Jeremy's expression relax and the sides of his mouth turn up in a small smile. "That sounds nice. I'm sure she'll like that."

Jess returned the smile. "Yeah, I think she will, but I'm asking if you're ok with it. Was there anything special you wanted to do over Labor Day weekend? Because this isn't set in stone. I haven't even asked her yet. I wanted to talk to you first and make sure it was ok with you."

Jess watched Jeremy finish chewing a bite of his kale salad, his expression unreadable. Balancing Jeremy and Mallory was proving harder than Jess had imagined. He felt constantly torn between wanting to spend time with his girlfriend and his son. Things were still new and exciting with Mallory, and Jess knew that if he didn't have Jeremy in his life, he would have spent a lot more time, especially a lot more overnight time, with her over the summer. But, the worry about making Jeremy feel left out or that he was anything other than Jess's top priority was always on his mind, guiding his decision making and costing him a lot of sleep. He thought he still spent enough time with Jeremy, at least as much as he had before Mallory had come into the picture when he had spent a lot of his evenings driving for Uber, maybe even a little more. He made an effort to plan most of his time with Mallory for nights when Jeremy had his shifts at the theater, sometimes bringing Winston with him for dinner at Mallory's so the little guy wouldn't be alone all evening. He felt that keeping them separately compartmentalized into different parts of his life was responsible parenting. To not let Jeremy get too attached until Jess was relatively sure it was going to work long term with Mallory. But, he hated the idea of excluding Jeremy from such a big part of his life. And, while he was selfishly enjoying having each of them to himself when he did spend time with them, he knew this would have to change soon. That they would all need to start spending time together if his relationship with Mallory was really going to work. If he wanted them to someday become the family he was already picturing in his mind.

Jeremy shrugged. "It's fine with me. Where are you going to take her?"

"I'm thinking Mystic. She's been there before and she really likes it. When I told her that I'd never been, she said we should go sometime. What do you think you'll do that weekend? Are you going to be ok on your own?"

"I'll be fine. I'll probably just work and hang out with Winston and ride my bike. Regular stuff. So, what are you guys going to do in Mystic? Like, what's there to see?"

Jess wasn't sure how much wiggle room to allow Jeremy in redirecting the conversation away from the boy's own plans and feelings. "Oh, uh, from what I understand, it's supposed to be this quaint little New England town with cute little shops and lots of history and stuff."

Jeremy huffed out a laugh. "Can't you get that here? Does it get any quainter and more New Englandy than Stars Hollow?"

Jess smiled. "I'll have to let you know after my trip. It's also on the coast, so it's got the whole seaport and beach thing going for it. And, they have an old whaling ship that's supposed to be a big deal."

Jeremy nodded. "That sounds cool. Sounds like you guys will have fun."

"Yeah." Jess was studying his son carefully for signs of emotions he might not be willing to verbalize. He knew the average teenager would probably love to have their parent go away for the weekend. But, he also knew that Jeremy wasn't the average teenager, and that the kid didn't seem to have any real friends right now and had spent most of the summer either working, with his family, or by himself. "Hey! I was just thinking, since Rory and Leelee will still be in London through the first week of September, maybe you and Winston could stay over at Luke and Lorelai's place while I'm gone. I'm sure they'd love to have you. That would be fun, right?"

Jess watched Jeremy frown again and was hit by the distance that had grown between them over the summer as he tried to figure out what Jeremy was thinking. "I don't need Uncle Luke to babysit me for the weekend. I'm an actual adult, who's capable of taking care of himself. You do realize that, right?"

"What? Yeah, of course I know that. I just thought you might have a good time over there."

"Winston and I will be fine here."

"Yeah, sure." Jess aimed for casual. He felt like Jeremy already spent enough time alone and he could see now that he had been looking for an out to let himself feel better about forcing more alone time on the boy. "There. Here. Whatever you want. I just wanted to throw the idea out there." Jess smirked. "You can quit frowning at me like that. I don't want your face to freeze in your 'my dad's an idiot' expression. It wouldn't be fun for me to have to look at that for the rest of my life."

Jeremy smiled. "My dad's not an idiot. He's more of a well-meaning doofus."

Jess laughed. "Hey!"

"C'mon, Dad! I can stay at Uncle Luke's while you're gone? I'm eighteen, not eight." The boy shrugged, clearly amused with himself. "If you don't want people calling you a doofus, maybe try not to say such doofussy stuff."

"Fine. Point taken." Jess pushed some chickpeas and slivered almonds around in his salad, then looked up at his son. "So, I'm thinking that if things go well on our weekend away, that maybe you, me and Mallory should start hanging out a little so you guys can spend some time together and get to know each other better. Does that sound ok to you?"

"Uh, I guess."

"Ok." Jess dragged the two sounds out slowly. "What does that mean?"

"It means yeah, I can do that if you want me to. I might be pretty busy in September though when classes start. But, I'm open to it every once in a while, I guess. But, like, I just…"

"You just what?" Jess studied Jeremy's expression, taking in the apprehension there. "I mean you already know her. And, you like her, right?"

"Yeah, of course. I just uh…..like, we'll still do stuff just us, too, though, right? I mean, just me and you, sometimes at least."

Jess put his fork down and really focused on his son. "Yes, Jeremy. Definitely. We will always do stuff just the two of us. I will always want that, too. I'm just thinking maybe a dinner together once in a while, or the occasional game of Scrabble or something. I really like Mallory. Things have been going well for the past three months, and it's starting to feel weird that I have this whole part of my life that you aren't involved in. I want to change that. I want to include you sometimes when I'm spending time with her. I feel like it's time. But, if you're not ready, things don't have to move on my timetable. How you feel matters here, too. How you feel is what matters the most." Jess paused to give Jeremy a chance to respond, then prompted him when he didn't. "So, how do you feel?"

Jess watched Jeremy eye his plate, using the side of his fork to break off a piece of marinated tempeh. "I feel fine. I'm ok with hanging out with you guys. I think you're right. It feels kind of weird that you're living this, like, double-life and I never see you with her or anything." Jeremy looked up at Jess. "I think it might be really uncomfortable at first. I mean, she was my guidance counselor and she knows a lot of personal stuff about me and everything. But, she's nice. I do like her. And, yeah, I want to get to know her better since you're dating her and everything. It just feels kind of unbalanced. Like, right now, she knows a lot about me, but it's not like it goes both ways when you're with your guidance counselor, so I don't really know anything about her. It might be kind of awkward for me being around her at first, knowing what she knows about me."

Jess nodded solemnly. "I can understand that."

"But, I do want to do it. Because I love you, and I know she's really important to you."

Jess leaned forward, his forearms resting on the table on either side of his plate. "I love you, too, Jeremy. And, I know it should go without saying at this point, but you do know there's no one more important to me than you, right?"

Jeremy smiled and rolled his eyes with playful exaggeration. "Yeah, I know. I'm not saying she's more important, but she's definitely important to you. So, I want things to be good between me and her."

"I want that, too."

Jeremy smirked. "I want to make things easier for you than you did for Uncle Luke."

"Oh, really?" Jess could feel the warmth and love infused in his own voice. He liked seeing Jeremy like this, playfully teasing him. He felt like it happened less and less often lately.

"Yep." Jeremy smirked. "I want to get along with your girlfriend and not be 'whatevering' her all the time and giving her snarky looks every time she talks to me and making everything all tense for everybody."

Jess watched Jeremy laugh at his exaggeratedly feigned annoyance. "I do not do any of those things to Lorelai. You must have me confused with April. She's a little punk, that one."

Jeremy laughed. "Maybe you don't do them any more, but I'm guessing you did them for a long time if you were still doing them last year when I met you. And, that couldn't have been fun for Luke. So, I want to have a stress-free relationship with your girlfriend so that you have one less thing to worry about." Jeremy paused and Jess watched him collect his thoughts. "It's like, I want to be a neutral element in your relationship with Ms. Howard, not an obstacle you need to work around."

It was Jess's turn to frown. "I'm not sure I like you thinking of yourself as a neutral element or an obstacle. I'm hoping you'll get something positive out of my relationship with Mallory, too. That you'll like her company and have your own relationship with her."

"Yeah, me too." Jeremy nodded. "I just mean, I don't want to be a source of stress for you, especially when things are still new with you guys. Like, if things don't work out between you and Ms. Howard, I want it to be because of something between you two. Like, if you aren't compatible, or if you mess something up with her or something. I don't want it to be because your kid was being a jerk or didn't have a good attitude about you guys dating or anything like that."

Jess smiled. "I appreciate the sentiment buried in there, but I wouldn't apply for a job at Hallmark just yet if I were you." He went back to his dinner, muttering as he picked up a forkful of kale. "If I mess something up." Jess scoffed with exaggerated disdain for the idea, looking back up at his son, his expression one of feigned annoyance, wanting to keep the playfulness going. "The nerve of you. What about if she messes something up with me? You ever consider that scenario, smart guy?"

Jeremy laughed and it made Jess smile. "You have a point. I'll give you that. It could happen that way, too. Either way, if something doesn't work with you guys, I don't want it to be because of me. I don't want anything I do to have any kind of…...negative impact, I guess, on your relationship. That's all I'm saying. That you don't need to be worried about me and Ms. Howard getting along. I like her already, and I'm pretty confident I can get along nicely with anyone who makes you happy."

"Thank you, Jeremy. Have I ever told you what a great kid you are?"

"You may have mentioned it once or twice or, you know, a million times."

Jess smiled fondly at his son, watching the boy look down at his plate as he speared a piece of tempeh with his fork, a small smile on his lips. "So, how was your bike ride?"

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Saturday morning found Jess rummaging through his dresser drawers for his swim trunks. He had bought them especially for this trip. He had never really understood why people liked the beach so much, but he knew Mallory was a fan and he wanted her birthday weekend to be about whatever she wanted to do. Jeremy was sitting on the floor with Winston, leaning up against the side of Jess's bed and running one hand slowly down the length of the dog's back. Two sets of eyes were watching Jess, when the man spoke without turning around.

"So, what are you two going to get up to this weekend? Any wild parties while dad's away?" Jess mentally kicked himself as soon as the words were out of his mouth. Jeremy's lack of a social life had become a concern for Jess over the summer, and he hadn't meant to draw attention to the issue and make Jeremy uncomfortable. Jess himself had had very few friends when he had been in high school, or even as an adult, but it was somehow more painful to watch your kid miss out than it was to have missed out yourself. College was starting next week and Jeremy would get a new start. That's what Jess kept telling himself. And, the kid was so nice and so likable, he was sure to make friends then. What had been troubling Jess lately was how down Jeremy had seemed for the last few weeks, or couple of months maybe. Jess attributed it to a lack of purpose in the kid's life without school. He knew from personal experience that working in the diner did not make for a very fulfilling life, even though Jeremy definitely seemed to enjoy being there with Luke more than he had. Jess hoped the boy's mood would turn around, too, once classes started up again and Jeremy had something mentally challenging to focus on.

"Nope. No parties, wild or otherwise. I'm working a lunch and dinner shift at the diner tonight because Monica has a wedding to go to. Then a shift at the theater after. And, I'm working early shifts on Sunday and Monday. Other than that, nothing much. Luke invited me and Winston over for dinner with him and Lorelai on Sunday night."

"Oh, yeah?" Jess turned to look at his son. "You didn't tell me that."

Jess watched the boy shrug. "Sorry. I mean it's not a big deal or anything. He said we could make dinner together or order pizza if I wanted and then we could all play a game or watch a movie or something."

Jess smiled cheerfully. "That sounds fun! You're going, right?"

Jess watched the boy sigh and wondered what he had done wrong. Too cheerful, maybe?

"Yes. You can turn your encouraging smile down a notch. I'm going." Ah. Jess dimmed his smile accordingly, but noted the boy looked amused as opposed to actually annoyed. "When do I ever turn down a chance to hang out with Luke?"

Jess turned back to his packing, carrying his swim trunks and some underwear from his dresser over to the bed, where he placed them on top of a small smile of clothes. He started working through the pile, picking up each garment and folding it neatly before placing it in his overnight bag. "You don't. You're a very good nephew like that. Luke's lucky to have you."

"I'm lucky to have him, too. And, I really like doing stuff with him. And, he's not going to be around forever…." Jess listened to Jeremy's voice trail off and he shot a glance at the boy.

"That's a pretty maudlin thought."

The kid shrugged. "Sorry. It's true, though. And, it's better to be cognizant of it now, instead of realizing it when it's too late, right?"

Jess nodded. "I suppose so." Jess wanted to change the subject. "Maybe you and me could take a trip of our own sometime."

"We got to go to Boston this summer."

"Yes, we did." Jess couldn't have pinpointed the cause of his concern, but it was the same worry that had kept creeping into his head quietly over the last few weeks of the summer, during random moments like this, when Jeremy seemed a little flatter in affect, a little off, lacking the childlike enthusiasm that Jess had come to expect from his son. Maybe, the boy had gone through a paradigm shift and had come to trust his place in the family, making him less compulsively eager to please, less effusively grateful for Jess's attention. Was that it? If so, Jess knew it was a good thing. The kid shouldn't have to feel constantly grateful, or cheerful if he didn't feel it. Maybe this was progress. "But, I was thinking maybe something just the two of us. Is there any place kind of nearby that you want to check out? Like New York or….." Jess trailed off trying to think of other destination cities that were driveable from Stars Hollow. They had just been to Boston and they had come from Philadelphia. "Maybe D.C. or Montreal?"

"I don't know. It might be hard with school starting, and homework and stuff. Maybe we could go somewhere next summer or over break or something."

"Ok." The more Jess thought about it, the more attached he became to the idea of taking Jeremy on at least one family vacation, a Mariano-only family vacation, while the boy still lived with him. He would need to start saving up for something, and get on this soon, before Jeremy did make friends at college and no longer wanted to spend any of his school break time with Jess. "Well, let's think about it and see if we can come up with something we want to do."

"Ok." Jess watched the boy nod his head, his eyes focused down on the dog.

"I'm going to miss you tonight." Jess kept his voice playful and light. He listened to Jeremy let out a soft scoff. "What? You don't believe me?"

The boy looked up now, a smile on his face. "I think it's highly unlikely that on your first ever weekend away with your girlfriend that you'll be missing me. Especially at night."

Jess laughed. "Hey, I'm being serious. I'm looking forward to spending the weekend with Mallory, sure, but that doesn't mean I won't be missing you, too. I'm a pretty good multi-tasker. You kind of have to be when you're a parent."

"Sure…." Jeremy dragged the word out with exaggerated skepticism.

"It will be our first night apart. That's a big milestone in the whole parent-child relationship." Jess continued to fold his clothes as he watched Jeremy laugh.

"Aren't you forgetting the nights you've already spent at Mallory's place? And, if they weren't that memorable this early in the relationship, it doesn't seem like a very good sign." The boy smirked. "Or you might not be doing it right."

"Ha. Ha. Ha." Jess spaced the syllables out. "I meant apart as in one of us out of town. Not just a five minute drive away in case something happens. That's a big deal." Jess took in Jeremy's skeptical expression. "Don't believe me? Ask any parent. They'll tell you the same thing."

"Uh, yeah, it's a big deal when your kid is like six or seven and going off to their first sleep-away camp or something. Not when you're kid is eighteen years old and has pretty much been taking care of himself for years."

"Huh." Jess wasn't sure how to respond. He felt like Jeremy had thrown him off by breaking their unspoken agreement to not talk about his past when Jess was trying to have a father son moment with him. It's not like Jess wanted to actively discourage it. Of course, he didn't. He wanted Jeremy to feel comfortable talking to him about anything. But, in this instance, the throw away line made Jess feel ridiculous for the conversation he had been trying to have. "I guess you're right, but you'll just have to humor me because it still feels like a big deal to me. I haven't even had you for a full year yet." Jess thought about how their one year anniversary was coming up in a little over a week, and made a mental note to do something to commemorate the occasion. Maybe take Jeremy out to dinner just the two of them. His mind wandered toward future celebrations, and he couldn't help picturing Mallory at Jeremy's next birthday dinner, their next family Christmas, maybe celebrating the anniversary of Jeremy's adoption day. On second thought, maybe that last one should just be him and Jeremy and Luke. Jess pulled himself out of his thoughts to look at his son. Jeremy was stroking Winston's head, watching the dog's drowsy-eyed reaction as the petting lulled him to sleep. Jeremy looked up and met Jess's eye, giving his father a small smile. Jess returned the smile, the thought still nagging him that something was going on with Jeremy, something he might be missing.