Please note: Minor spoilers of S3 Weredad episode included along with some adult situations too.

This author apologises for getting distracted from writing her other stories. Inspiration struck and this needed to be written. There will be two to three chapters only - promise!

Chapter One: Inebriated Impulses

The atmosphere within the Parisian night club was dark, intimate and noisy. Pounding dance tracks were blaring so loud that Adrien wondered if the sound was affecting his vision. It couldn't have been the three G&T's, five shots or the two beers. Whatever he was currently nursing apparently had copious amounts of tequila in it. Totally fine. Nino looked a little blurry around the edges but it had to be that pounding bass, right?

Throwing back his head, Adrien downed what was left of his drink and the room began to really sway. His oesophagus was burning and his eyes felt dry but he was still grinning. "Where to next?" the model shouted at his friend.

"Home, dude. You're totally wasted."

Adrien screwed up his nose. "No way, man. I'm just relaxed. Chillin' even."

Nino glanced down at the death grip his friend had on his shoulder, suspecting it was the only thing holding Adrien steady. "Your father will kill me if he finds out how drunk you are."

Cockiness radiated from the blonde as he threw out his free arm wildly to emphasise his words. "Nah, I sneak out all the time. He has no clue. He's too absorbed in himself."

The DJ scratched the side of his nose with a level of skill that Adrien found astounding and it took him a moment to realise Nino was talking. "It's your 18th birthday, he's likely to notice you're missing."

"Pft. The jerk's duty is done. He gave me another fricking pen. This time engraved with my name. Whoop-tee-fuckin'-do. Shithouse present, again." Adrien's top lip curled with disgust. "He's a millionaire, why the hell couldn't he buy me a car like other rich lame ass fathers?"

"But wasn't the pen worth like six-grand?"

With catlike skill, the model looped his arm around his buddy's shoulders before he could lose his balance and leaned close like he was about to share a secret, although he was practically shouting. "That is a drop in the bucket, my friend. I'm almost positive it's a recycled gift Father didn't want. I'll bet Nathalie engraved the fucking thing at her desk."

Nino adjusted his glasses and shrugged. "Maybe you could sell the pen online and put it towards buying yourself a car."

Green eyes widened like it was the best idea Adrien had ever freaking heard. "Yeah, I could do that. Some crazy-ass fan would snaffle it up, right? I should email Wayhem, that guy would buy my spleen if I offered it."

Being a good friend, Nino placed his hand over Adrien's phone before the model could do anything stupid. "How about you sleep on it. Decide in the morning."

With a farrowed brow, Adrien tucked his phone in his pocket after the third try and started to nod but quickly stopped when his stomach lurched. Nino ducked out from under the model's arm as he began to heave.

"Yeah, it's really time we left." Nino stated as Adrien threw up.

Things were somewhat hazy after that. Slow blinking green eyes opened to stare at an all too familiar ceiling. Somehow, Adrien had arrived home but for the life of him he couldn't remember how. Drawing a blank, he propped himself up on his mattress with an elbow and looked at his kwami. "Plagg…"

"I'll pre-empt your question. You passed out, Nino and your bodyguard snuck you back to your room and you've been snoring like a chainsaw ever since."

Adrien dragged an unsteady hand through his blonde mop, scratching his scalp in the process and making his hair stand up oddly with the remaining product. "How long have I been out?"

"I don't know, I'm not your timekeeper." Plagg grumbled as he curled into a little ball on the opposite pillow and closed his eyes.

Rolling to his side, Adrien plucked his phone from his pocket and noticed that it was 2.34am. He was feeling rather seedy but decided it was something a glass of water would fix. Yet his legs had other ideas. There was a jellylike quality to his knees, making his journey to the bathroom an arduous and winding trek.

The model cracked up when he saw his reflection and patted down his wild hair. "I look like Chat Noir, Plagg." He chuckled as he pointed at himself in the mirror. Adrien smirked at himself and postured as he would at a photoshoot. Preening as if Ladybug were before him. Damn, he wanted to see her. It was then that Adrien had a truly brilliant idea, well at least he thought it brilliant while sans a few brain cells. He decided he should visit Ladybug. The thought of her in that tight scarlet suit was getting his blood pumping.

While his birthday was technically over, the model knew what he really wanted as a gift. Ladybug's body intertwined with his, hot sweaty and completely bare. The thought had him gripping the vanity edges with both hands. Adrien wanted Ladybug to make him a man. Not just because he'd copped endless teasing from his modelling friends about being a virgin but because she was the one for him and he was tired of waiting.

There was only so much a man could take. Especially when one was forced to think non-sexy thoughts while clad in a form fitting black suit which clung to him like a second skin. Add in the factor of having an extremely attractive partner attired in an equally skin-tight outfit who had the flexibility of a trapeze artist, and Chat Noir was bound to embarrass himself at some point. The codpiece of his suit stretched like the rest of the fabric, meaning a surge of his lower anatomy was something to avoid at all costs. Thankfully his training as a model had given him techniques to quell his body's inappropriate responses when under scrutiny.

But tonight, there was no one to see him. No akuma lurked and no patrol to do. Adrien stared at himself in the mirror. He knew he was attractive, the legions of adoring fans sending him love letters was tribute to that. Yet he couldn't understand why he was less appealing as Chat Noir. Surely the mask gave him an air of mystery.

But all these thoughts were making his head hurt. Adrien filled a glass with water and downed it with a couple of painkillers. The inner call to have a shower was irresistible. The model continued to flounder on his feet as he removed his clothes, leaving a trail behind him until he staggered under the shower nozzle.

Once the temperature of the water was adjusted, Adrien placed his hands and forehead against the tiles and let the warm water slide over him. Those vibrant green eyes dimmed with the lowering of his eyelids. All thoughts were pushed aside as he focussed on the droplets kissing his skin. It was both soothing and arousing. Thoughts of Ladybug re-entered his mind, causing him to drop one hand from the tiles to touch himself.

Given the amount of alcohol he'd consumed, his body was slow in responding regardless of the fire in his blood. Yet thoughts of Ladybug never failed him. But his own hand wasn't enough. He wanted her hands on him. He wanted her writhing beneath him as she called out his name in ecstasy.

Adrien shut off the water and stood there dripping. With his head bowed, he pressed the heel of his hand against his partial erection in the hopes of downing it. Flicking his wet hair from his face, the model retrieved his towel and dried himself with clumsy strokes.

Seriousness overpowered his drunken state as he went to his wardrobe, intent on dressing to kill. If there was one thing Adrien had learned as a model it was women loved men in suits. It didn't have to be black tie, a sports jacket that accentuated his broad shoulders and slim hips would do it. Along with a fitted pair of slacks that showed off his ass. With a smirk, Adrien admired his selection. Ladybug wouldn't see him like this as Chat Noir but if he was successful in his seduction he intended to look utterly irresistible when he dropped his transformation to get down to business.

All inhibitions were currently on hiatus and Adrien's confidence was boosted as he admired himself in the mirror. He could do this. While his steps were still untidy, Adrien decided it was time he acted on his impulse. Plagg was fast asleep on his pillow but the model didn't notice. "Plagg, claws out."

There was a disgruntled snort from his kwami, but Adrien transformed into Chat Noir without any fuss. The superhero smirked to himself as he launched to his open window, teetering on the sill for a moment before he jumped to the next building. There was far less finesse to Chat Noir's movements across the skyline than usual.

When he was six blocks from home he realised he had no idea where Ladybug was. Pulling out his tracker, Chat Noir groaned when he discovered Ladybug's beacon was absent. He dialled her number and waited. It went straight to voicemail. "Hey bugaboo, I want to see you. Come out, come out wherever you are."

He left it a whole minute before calling again. This continued for the next fifteen minutes, meaning Chat Noir left a number of similar messages but there was no response from his lady. Miffed at what to do, Chat Noir sat down and contemplated his options. It took a while but he recalled that Marinette had managed to wrangle his partner when no one else could. A smile spread across his face. If he visited Marinette, maybe he could convince her to seek out Ladybug for him. It didn't occur to him that it was now 3am. He simply bound his way to her balcony, tumbled over her railing and knocked on the skylight.

At first there was no response. The faint moonlight, combined with his enhanced night vision, allowed him to see Marinette's profile with her unbound hair lying loose on the pillow. She was so pretty but she wasn't awake so Chat Noir tapped on the glass again.

This time Marinette sat up with a start. Her head shot from side to side as she rubbed at her face. She said something and his feline ears swivelled forward but he couldn't make it out. So, he knocked again. Marinette looked up at him with her mouth agape.

"Hi," he said with a wave.

Marinette unlocked her window and attempted to open it but Chat was leaning on it. She pointed this out to him and he stumbled back.

"What's wrong? Is there an akuma attack?"

"No, no. Nothing like that. I need to find Ladybug though."

A puzzled expression settled onto Marinette's face. "Um, why?"

Chat Noir couldn't stop the mischievous smirk spreading across his lips. "Oh, that's between me and her."

"You can't be serious."

"Oh, I'm deadly serious. I need my lady."

Marinette's nose twitched. "Chat Noir, are you drunk?"

"I may be slightly inebriated."

"Slightly? Your breath reeks of alcohol."

Chat Noir shrugged and nearly toppled over. "I went out for birthday drinks. Maybe I had more than I initially thought."

"How long since your last drink?"

Flicking open his baton, Chat Noir checked the time. "About three hours, unless you include the glass of water I had before I left home."

Marinette narrowed her eyes. "You should be in bed."

His grin turned dirty. "Oh, I intend to go to bed but with my lady."

"What?" Came the high-pitched squeak from Marinette.

Chat Noir's balance was wavering in his squat so he knelt forward, ducking his head down into Marinette's room. "I want Ladybug to make me a man. I'm eighteen now, did I tell you that?"

His classmate didn't bother answering, instead she leapt backward as Chat Noir plummeted through her skylight, landing on her bed with a laugh. "Okay, maybe I am drunk."

"Chat, why are you here?" Nervousness laced Marinette's voice and Chat Noir couldn't figure out why.

Lying back, he placed an arm behind his head and turned to look at the dark-haired girl. "I couldn't find Ladybug and you have a knack for doing so. So, here I am," he said gesturing to himself as he raised a knee and gave her smouldering smile he often used for photoshoots, hoping it would sway her.

"You think I can find Ladybug?"

"You've done it before." He rolled to his side, encroaching on her space while his voice turned sultry. "Do it for me, Marinette. You're such a good friend."

She leaned away from him. "You're one of those drunks who gets overly friendly, aren't you?"

Chat Noir rolled to his back and laced his fingers together over his belly. "Don't know. I rarely get the chance to drink." Closing his masked eyes, he continued talking. "Nino snuck me out. Honestly, that guy is the best. We had a great time tonight. As usual, my father was a jerk. He wouldn't let me have a party and bought me a fricking pen for my birthday, again!"

"Nino?"

"Yeah, you know Nino. Heck, you talk to him most days at school." Chat Noir was completely forgetting he was in costume as he opened his eyes and stared out the skylight. "The view from your bed is awesome. I can see the stars and the blue, blue sky. Blue like her eyes. But they're more like the sky after a storm, now it's too dark. I could lose myself in her eyes. What a way to go." He grinned as he turned to face Marinette.

She was staring at him in something of a stupor. Shaking his head, Chat Noir remembered he was here for a reason. "So, um, Ladybug. Do you know how I can find her?"

"Let me get this straight. You want me to track down Ladybug, so she can make you a man?"

Chat grinned. "Yes."

"And what does 'making you a man' involve?"

Heat spread across superhero's already flushed cheeks. "Well, um, making love. Losing my virginity. A rite of passage."

"I don't think Ladybug would be interested. Besides she's um, probably a virgin too."

"You think? But she seems so experienced and worldly. She's like the pin up for the ultimate woman."

"Chat, she's seventeen."

"She is? I thought she was like five thousand and something," he laughed referring to the running joke he had with Ladybug after the Pharaoh akuma.

"Besides, didn't she tell you she was into another guy?"

Chat Noir's brow furrowed. "How'd you know that?

"I, uh, I'm pretty sure you told me."

"I did? Oh, okay. Well, this other dude hasn't sealed the deal as far as I know. Ladybug is just pining after the knob. Yet here I am, willing to give her my heart…"

"And virginity."

"Yes, that too. And what does she do? She yearns for someone who doesn't deserve her."

"But you deserve her instead." Marinette said in a sarcastic tone that Chat Noir completely missed.

"Damn right. I'm a highly lusted after model. I have girls throwing themselves at me all the time. Yet I push them all away because there's only one girl for me."

The budding designer nodded with a sceptical look on her face. "Sounds like it's hard being you."

"Oh, Marinette. It's hard all the time. God, you have no idea how badly I want to push her up against a brick wall and show her just how hard I am."

"La la la, too much information, Chat."

"I'm a teenage guy. I have needs and most of them revolve around getting with Ladybug. I'd die a happy man if she just made out with me. But sex, holy shit, now if that happens I won't be able to stop grinning for a year."

"Yeah, about that. It's probably best if you don't approach Ladybug with the idea while drunk, or better yet, at all."

Chat Noir gave her an assessing glance. "Do you still secretly long for me, Marinette? Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"No, I'm cool. Believe me, no crushed feelings here."

"Are you sure? I know what it's like to yearn for someone. Mooning day and night for that special person who you desperately wish to have love you in return."

Marinette just stared at him.

"I'm talking too much?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry. So… about Ladybug. Can you get her here?"

Picking up her phone, Marinette sighed. "It would be considered rude to awaken Ladybug at this time of the morning when there is no emergency."

"But it is an emergency, a love emergency."

"Lust, Chat. Nothing but lust."

"Cruel woman. Why can't you let me have my way?"

"Because you're drunk and annoying."

Letting out a resigned sigh, Chat Noir dropped his head back on the pillow to stare out the skylight. "You're not going to help me, are you?"

"I'm helping you in a way you probably think ridiculous now but you'll thank me in the morning."

With a groan, Chat Noir draped his arm over his masked eyes. "Fine. But know that I'm most put out with you, Marinette."

"I think I can live with that. Now, you should go home."

But Chat Noir didn't move.

"Chat? Chat?" Marinette poked his shoulder and evoked a snore from the black clad hero. "Just great," she muttered as she laid down beside him. Now she was stuck with a drunken superhero sleeping in her bed. At least he wasn't trying to seduce her, at least knowingly. With a smirk of her own, Marinette snuggled under the sheets and dozed off too.

Alas the alcohol got Chat Noir in the end. But what will morning bring? Find out next chapter.

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