Author Note:

Five chapters I hope you'll enjoy.

The original idea for this came from a request by Once Upon a Grey's Fan and I was so thrilled when it came together. Thank you so much for your patience (it's been well over a year since we talked about this!). With any luck, it'll bring to life a bit of what you had envisioned.

As always, thank you to theypreferthetermpeople for being my second set of eyes and for all her work on this story. ~b'shert

Chapter 1

"Alright. That's probably enough veggies for the week," Lena said to herself as she scanned the contents of her shopping cart. It was after school and she had Jude with her at the store. The boy had been very patient and well-behaved, occupying himself while she struggled to determine suitable quantities in their weekly grocery trip. He and his older sister had joined them six days ago and figuring out how to feed a family of seven in one shopping trip had been a steep learning curve.

Although by now she would usually be starting dinner and facilitating homework before Stef got home, today they'd asked the older kids to walk back together. The plan was for Stef to leave right at the end of her shift and meet them there. That way, Lena could have Jude on her own.

So far, it'd been a bit of a juggle to get one-on-one time with their new additions. Recognizing how important it was for Callie and Jude to get settled into their new digs, their only expectation at the moment was for them to show up for meals and sit down together for homework. They could excuse themselves at any point. For now, the arrangement worked well since the siblings weren't shy about going off to be by themselves. Whenever possible, they would hang out in the backyard or the den, which had been turned into a temporary bedroom. She and Stef periodically checked in but for the most part, gave them time by themselves—trusting that relationships would naturally fall into place as the kids became more comfortable with them.

They were in the thick of the initial adjustment phase: overseeing the transition to the new school, monitoring assignments to determine the level of help needed, scheduling health appointments, and purchasing necessities. Given she found all of this exhausting, she could only imagine how overwhelming it had to be for Callie and Jude. Giving space where possible was the kindest thing they could offer to ease them into a new routine.

Despite the hecticness, the decision to temporarily add to their family had been an easy one. Two smooth years with Mariana and Jesus had them confident that the twins were secure enough to handle an additional sibling or two. She had anticipated some growing pains with shared attention and bedrooms, but so far had been pleasantly surprised by three impatient children who were curious and excited at the prospect of additional playmates. All had been on their best behaviour, as if understanding that the bulk of their parents' attention needed to be on helping Callie and Jude settle in over the next little while. Even Mariana, who had initially balked at the newly implemented shower schedule—a result of learning their hot water tank wasn't large enough for everyone—rallied.

Suddenly noticing the boy was no longer by her side, Lena spun around. "Jude?"

Panic gave way to relief when she saw him on tiptoes, peering in the bakery's display cabinet. She grabbed another bag of apples before walking over. After not fostering for years, she had forgotten how nerve wracking it could be at times. Since the fostering agreement stipulated that children in their care should never be left unsupervised, she always tried to keep them within arm's reach.

"Hey, there. I thought I'd lost you for a second."

Not having heard his foster mother approach, Jude nearly jumped out of his skin. "Sorry! I—I was just looking," he defended. "Oh. Hi, Miss Lena," he said, seeing who it was when he turned around. Realizing he'd wandered away, he searched her face, afraid she was unhappy.

"It's okay. You're allowed to look. Thank you for not going too far away so I could still find you, though," Lena said, by way of a gentle reminder to stay close. She regretted saying anything when his face dropped.

Sorry," Jude apologized. Lena didn't seem mad but he was unable to relax.

"It's okay. It's not a big deal," Lena reassured, giving him a kind smile. She was unsettled by the alarmed reaction, which she felt was disproportionate her remark. "Remember, you can just call me Lena," she reminded him. " He'd started using the honorific when she had taken him up to school for his placement exam so she could enroll him. It was sweet but a little too teacherly when she was home, and even at school, Anchor Beach students typically called the faculty by their first names.

"Okay."

Lena stooped down to the child's level, wrapping an arm around him and giving his shoulder a squeeze. He still looked so dejected and shaken that she wanted to do anything to communicate they were on good terms.

"Are you hungry?" She had offered him a snack in the car but was now worried that he hadn't gotten enough to eat today.

"Nope, I'm good!" Jude lied. His stomach complained audibly, begging to differ.

Lena frowned. "It's alright if you are. You've had a big day." Receiving nothing substantial in the way of a response, she asked if he'd eaten lunch. The children had been given money for the cafeteria but she wondered if Jude had made it there to purchase food. Brandon and Jesus had told her that they didn't see him and Callie in the lunchroom. But Jude had insisted he had and there was no reason to doubt him. Until they figured out what was going on, she and Stef were extra vigilant about meals and snacks when the kids were with them.

Their concerns mostly stemmed from what they saw as disorganized behaviour around eating—the forgetfulness and needing frequent reminders of mealtimes, as well as consuming very little or too much—that suggested the kids might have had to go without regular meals previously. Both appeared small, but it was hard to tell.

Lena scrutinized his reaction. "Are you sure? There's nothing in there you would like?" She had the impression neither him nor Callie were ones to ask for anything.

Jude glanced longingly at the sweets. He really wanted the one with the purple icing and matching sprinkles. He needed it.

No," he said, refusing to get his hopes up. If Callie were here, she'd tell him not to accept anything from Lena. To be careful about asking for stuff until they got a better read on the women, in case. They hadn't been at this house very long and the last thing he wanted was to ruin it by not following his sister's advice. But he also thought Lena was nice and not pretending to be.

"Tell you what. I always hit the bakery last when I'm here, even though Stef might disagree. She thinks we should go first." She winked at the boy, getting a shy smile in return. "How about we finish finding everything on our list? If you know what you'd like by the time we make it back here, you can pick one thing." Her heart warmed when he brightened at the idea; he was so transparent. She didn't normally make allowances for sugary treats but felt it important to ensure a positive interaction. Apparently needing to consider the offer, the boy's expression grew serious before he decided the plan was suitable. "Okay!" he said in his cheerful way again. "I'm ready to help!"

Lena smiled at his enthusiasm as he slipped his hand into hers. Jude was always ready to help. Some days, he stuck around in the background so he could move to action whenever someone remotely alluded to wanting something.

In the next aisle, they loaded the cart with more staples. Together they picked up eggs, carefully inspecting each one in the carton. As usual, no matter how much Lena encouraged Jude to express his preferences, he insisted he was easy. It didn't take her very long to figure out that he was more than willing to open up when the focus was on his sister and what she liked. Or what things had been like at their last home.

They made a quick stop into the canned food aisle before heading to the deli. "Hey, Jude. Grab two roast chickens, please?" She figured it would be an easy dinner with leftovers for chicken salad sandwiches. "Careful, it's hot," she cautioned as he reached into the warmer for the prepackaged containers.

Midday meals back on her mind, she made an effort to revisit the topic. "For lunch, does someone usually pack you one to take to school or do you get money to buy it yourself?" She refrained from using the words parents or home, to avoid assigning meaning where there might be none. It was an important detail to sort out, however. She was determined to try and replicate some of his old routines to help him be more comfortable with them.

"Both…sometimes from our foster home and sometimes school," Jude replied. He was careful not to share too much in case it got back to Bill. That had happened before and it had ended badly. Callie always said stuff like that from the past could change the way new foster parents treated them, too.

It wasn't the whole truth but it wasn't really a lie, either. They couldn't count on getting lunch at the last place they lived but he and Callie figured it out, like they always had. His school had a hot breakfast program he was enrolled in and by arriving early, he had time for two helpings. The first he'd eat there and the second he'd save for later. That made up lunch on days they didn't get one and if they did, it was good for after school or at night. Having a stash meant he didn't have to worry as much when he was hungry.

When schools didn't have a hot food program, that made things a lot harder if foster parents weren't giving them enough. He'd finish what friends didn't of their lunches or hang around after the first bell and take whatever was left on nearby trays. That was risky, though, and embarrassing. There had been times he had faked a headache so he would be sent to the nurse's office for a juicebox, pocketing snacks from the coatroom cubbies on the way there and back. Callie was braver than he was. When they got really desperate, she would load her tray in the cafeteria lineup and walk through without paying so they could both eat. The staff never stopped her but eventually a teacher noticed and they paid for it in a different way once they got home. Over the years, they'd eaten a lot of stolen food.

"What did the cafeteria at your old school have that you liked?"

Jude thought of his favourites. "Chicken nuggets and peas and carrots and chocolate milk! And fish sticks!"

Lena laughed at his enthusiasm. Unfortunately, Anchor Beach didn't have either protein option. "Jesus loves chicken nuggets and fish sticks, too." She committed that piece of info into memory, vowing to make the homemade versions of both for Jude. "What about on days you don't have lunch money? What sorts of things did you take?"

"Um, canned spaghetti or ravioli and a fruit cup. Sandwiches." He grinned when his new foster mom narrowed her eyes in disapproval. In the other aisle he'd learned that she did not buy canned anything except for tomatoes or corn or black beans. She'd walked right past the Alphaghettis!

"How did you open it at school, Jude?" the woman asked, confused.

"There's a tab like a soda can, and you just pull on it and it goes pop! And the whole top rips right off and you can eat it right out of there!"

"I see..." Refraining from saying anything judgmental, Lena took a deep breath. Processed pasta and fruit in sugar water was not a complete meal in her books. A sandwich had potential, however, and something she could work with if it meant getting a lunch into him. "You know who loves sandwiches? Stef. She takes one almost everyday and I bet she would make you one, too. What do you like in them?"

Her heart fell at his response. "Mustard on one side and mayonnaise on the other, and a baloney in the middle!" he declared as if it was the best thing in the world. Unless there was half a pack of deli meat in between the bread, there was no way anyone would find that filling.

Noticing a hint of sadness on the woman's face, Jude went serious, wondering if he had said something wrong. "It's okay, Lena. I'll eat anything. Your lunches are really good." They were, and he didn't want Lena to think he was fussy. He wasn't.

Lena nodded, getting the sense that Jude was uncomfortable. "How about...a chicken salad sandwich with cheese, lettuce, and tomato…some veggie soup in a thermos, and apple slices?" she suggested, mealplanning with what they had in the cart. They'd get good mileage out of the rotisserie chickens. She would carve them up tonight and that would make for easy lunches for the remainder of the week.

The grin returned to the young face staring up at her. "Yeah!" He loved lunches at this house. Sometimes hot, sometimes cold, the options were all delicious and there was always enough to put some away in his locker or backpack for later. "What do you take to school?"

"Usually I have a salad with chicken or fish, and soup on the side," Lena replied, endeared by Jude's attempt to include her in the conversation as well as finding it cute. "What about Callie? What does she do for lunch? The same as you?"

The boy shrugged. "Yup! Same as me. She did clubs that have lunch at their meetings, too. Then she could share with me," he said nonchalantly, the truth slipping easily.

Lena bit her lip at the sinking feeling the answer gave her, deliberating the best way to respond. The allusion that Callie might have orchestrated her participation so they could have lunch did not sit well with her. The more she thought of it, the more she was convinced the kids had been inadequately fed. Irregular access to meals would explain the disorganized eating...how sometimes they could sit down and inhale a full helping within minutes, while other times a few mouthfuls would have them claiming they were nauseous. Just this morning, Callie had run to the bathroom, gagging on the first bite of oatmeal.

It was the first time they had suspected malnourishment and the first time Stef had admitted they needed to speak to the children's doctor, and ASAP, about what to do. They had no experience caring for children who had been malnourished. The twins had been slight when they got them, but they were ravenous all the time and ate well. She never recalled episodes where they got sick from eating...as if their bodies weren't accustomed to the influx of calories and sugar.

"That's really responsible of Callie to plan ahead like that and wonderful of her to share," she praised in order to hide the anger from starting to grasp what had gone on. She would never understand people who decided to foster only to neglect the children in their care. Children who were already vulnerable, there for reasons out of their control, and who needed love, respect, and caring. "Did she do that because she didn't always have a lunch, or the one she had wasn't enough?" she asked, focusing on the facts rather than her emotions.

Jude nodded. "Kinda both," he admitted, not seeing the harm in doing so. "But she is smart and can cook so we were okay." It was another one of those half-truths. Callie could cook. Things had been far from okay, however.

"Is that right? What sorts of things does your sister like to cook?" Lena asked, impressed by what the boy was telling her. At thirteen, their eldest couldn't even scramble eggs. Although confused by Jude's roundabout way of having a conversation, she was all for entertaining it. What mattered was they were talking.

"Uhm...she can do eggs...mac n' cheese, and boiled rice with hot dogs. And she can make a taco kit," Jude said proudly. Callie was usually allowed to use the stove, just not the oven. "When she went to juvie she couldn't help me so it was hard when I was hungry." Unlike Callie, he wasn't supposed to be anywhere near the stove so was limited to the microwave if he ever wanted something hot. The odd time, a leftovers plate would be set aside for him that he could zap. But more often than not, he'd be out of luck and on his own to figure it out.

"What did you make for yourself when you were hungry but Callie wasn't there?" Lena questioned, recognizing they were no longer on the topic of lunches.

"Mm. Cereal and peanut butter sandwiches. Sometimes there were hashbrowns and I microwaved those. They don't fill you up, though."

"No, I can't imagine they would." Drawing in a deep breath, Lena placed a hand on Jude's shoulder as she waited for him to make eye contact. He did eventually, giving her a cautious glance that made him seem almost fearful of her. "That must have been so difficult, Jude. I'm sorry."

Realizing what he had just admitted to his new foster mom, Jude's eyes widened. "It's okay! I like all of those." He swallowed, expecting a reminder of how grateful they were to have anything to eat at all.

"I'm sure you do. But no one likes to be hungry. I know I don't," Lena pointed out. She had noticed Jude's panic and wanted to reassure him that he had done nothing wrong.

She paused, wanting to be intentional with the message she needed to convey while she had his attention. "Sometimes, my day gets really busy and I forget to eat when I'm supposed to. But I try not to let that happen, because my brain can't concentrate when my body is hungry."

Jude agreed. It was hard to sit in class when his belly was rumbling. And it rumbled on more days than not. Because even though Stef and Lena gave them lunch or money every day, he often...forgot. When he had money, he'd forget he had the ability to buy food. By the time he remembered he hadn't eaten, it'd almost be the end of lunch or the end of the day. Other days when he had a bagged lunch, out of habit, he'd only eat part of what was there and save the remainder for later. But then they always got fed dinner so he never got the opportunity to eat the rest of it as planned. Which reminded him, he needed to clean out his backpack. There was food in there from at least two or three days ago.

"Yeah, and sometimes if you're really hungry it hurts so bad and then you really can't think of anything."

Smiling tightly, Lena blinked back tears. She hoped that Jude hadn't experienced being so hungry that it had hurt too often. Something told her that was just wishful thinking, however. "You shouldn't be so hungry that you can't think of anything else because it's uncomfortable. That's not healthy," she began. "Feeling a little bit hungry is okay. That's how our bodies remind us that it's time to eat soon or that you've done a lot and need to refuel. But it's also not healthy to go from very hungry to very full, so we need to try and eat at regular times because that's when our body expects to be fed." She felt the pressure to get across to Jude the importance of eating when he was supposed to while they were on the topic before his attention slipped.

"Do you think you would be comfortable coming to my office if you feel like you're running low on energy? Not just when it gets so bad that it hurts but maybe you notice your head is beginning to hurt or your stomach making some noise. Or you're finding it's hard to understand your teacher." Jude's brow knitted as he tried to follow along with her explanation. "I know if Brandon or the twins have a big day—PE, and a group project, or more than one test in a day, they get hungry even if they've eaten all their food from home or school. When that happens, they come find me at the next break for snacks to tide them over to the end of the day. Because it's hard to pay attention and learn if you're hungry," she said, nudging him towards agreement.

"Okay!" That sounded great to Jude. He couldn't wait to tell Callie there was nothing to worry about; from the very beginning he'd known that Lena was pretty awesome.

"Perfect. And that includes Callie, as well, okay? Will you let her know all of that?" This kid was quickly endearing himself to her.

"Mmhm!"

"Remember, when we're home you can always help yourself to whatever is in the kitchen without asking. It's also absolutely fine to ask for a larger portion of something during meals; same goes for your sister. It's important you are getting enough to eat," Lena emphasized, though she was fairly certain he was no longer listening to anything coming out of her mouth. "Jude? Have you decided which treat you'd like to take home?" she asked, nodding towards the baked goods section. They had made it full circle.

"Chocolate cupcake! With the purple swirly icing and sprinkles!" he all but shouted, causing Lena to laugh. His voice was squeaky and high in the way prepubescent boys often sounded and he was so excited he was bouncing. Grabbing a plastic takeout container and tongs, Lena retrieved one from the very back of the display, hoping they'd be from a newer batch. It was easy to ignore her guilty conscience reminding her of its poor nutritional value with Jude stuck to her side, overjoyed, as he watched. It was well worth it. "Just this once," she said, making it clear this was just a treat.

His grin evoked in her a sense of happiness and love she couldn't believe already existed for a child who had been in her life for less than a week.

"Thanks Miss Le—oops! Thank you, Lena!"

A/N:

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

The story has been through a couple rounds of editing but not anywhere close to the extent I'd like. Do leave feedback and let me know what worked and didn't so I know how I'm doing, it's always much appreciated. I will up my game with responding to PMs in a more timely manner as well. Hopefully, confidence will come with creating shorter pieces...allowing me to trust where the creative process takes me, do less second-guessing, and being okay with little mistakes and bigger misses, and everything in between. ~b