Characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

.

.

She does it for Sasuke.

She does it for the rest of Team 7.

She does it to find something she might be good at, something that'll give her a chance to be useful, to be the one standing next to them.

But as she's four hours into the morning, words and meanings blurring together in a terrible headache, she thinks: Why the hell am i doing this for?. Purpose, goals, ninja ways... are they worth it? Is it worth it being yelled at by the Hokage, the medics, the nurses, her own parents –you're not taking care of yourself!-

An hour later, a short nap and she finds that she knows what she studied yesterday. She knows all the layers of the epidermis, she knows which microorganisms live there and which would cause what sickness. She knows it. It wasn't all for nothing.

Even later on she passes her test.

And weeks into her training she finally heals that goddamn fish.

She thinks that if she manages to hang on for a little longer she might be apt at this.

.

.

She's only fourteen and half and she's shadowing a pediatrician. She doesn't like kids, does not like that they keep whining and their mothers are willing to blame everyone but themselves for the child's hurt. Seriously, if your daughter broke her leg in three parts because she fell from a tree while you where giggling with your equally clueless friend, then maybe the reason is closer than you think.

The 3 year old, Nanako-chan, is trying to be brave. The doctor whispers empty supposedly soothing words –Be still, honey, it'll be over soon and you can have a lollipop to eat later.-. It does not stop the flinching or the little cries of pain. Sakura thinks it's barbaric that they don't further numb the pain receptors in the damaged area but –they are civilians Sakura, we should save chakra for shinobis that come injured from duty.-

Isn't that ironic? Pathetic? That the "duty" they return from is the one designed to protect civilians.

A while later the mother and the doctor leave the room to discuss ways of payment.

Sakura sighs.

Then she notices that Nanako is quiet, too quiet. She glances her way and discovers the child's gaze fixed in a little purple ugly scar.

Sakura sighs again.

-Here.- She reaches slowly to the slightly scared and still upset child.- Let me heal it and leave it pretty for you.-

-O-okay.-

She works in silence for a few seconds. It's the first time she's done healing without a superior watching her, but for once she's confident in what she's doing. After all, she can't mess a scar more than it already is. She mentally snorts, you can only go better from here.

-You know, Nanako-chan, someday when you're older, you will be glad to have scars. They might not be nice to look at, but they will the ones that'll remind you of how far you've come.-

She finishes quietly, unblemished skin under her fingers. Looking up finds her little last minute patient with confused but grateful eyes. The smile she recieves almost blinds her.

-Thank you, medic-chan!- The girl beams.

Sakura reminds stunned.

She thinks about the hours she suffered to learn all the damned layers of the skin. And she starts to think it was worth it, it payed her with a smile from a little three year old that might one day get an even uglier scar in the same place.

Her lips curve almost hesitantly in response.

It's strange that with a sunny smile her heart starts to beat almost painfully, it starts to warm her in places she didn't know could help to heal her broken heart. She might keep this memory next to the happier ones with her broken team.

Maybe, this can only go better from here too.

.

.

It does not get better for a while, in fact, it almost ends all together.

-I can't believe you did this. The desobedience that you show will see you out of this door sooner than you can keep breaking any more rules. Konoha can't afford your little rebelious acts, I can't stand for it.-

Her rose bangs are covering her wattering eyes. Eyes that also show defiance. She thinks this is something Naruto would do, something that might genuinely make him proud and not just because he thinks he likes her.

-You're suspended.-

But she wouldn't change her recent actions even if this year and a half of effort is wasted.

Because when Nanako-chan came two months later with bruises and internal bleeding from the same tree, with the same indifferent mother, she couldn't stop crying. Not even the false promise of a lollipop kept her tears from streaming down her little hopeless face.

The pediatrician refused to heal her.

Because her mother refused to pay.

And Sakura refused to let all this become words and empty meanings blurring together. She refused to view people like numbers, she refused to not use chakra – her best healing weapon- to treat her patient just because of where she or he didn't have enough to pay. There had been a goddam war just two years ago here in Konoha. There had been houses crushed to the ground by the sand, by the sound, by their own shinobi protecting these very people.

She learned more in that time from healing these people that couldn't get it done from a profesional that she learned in all her time shadowing. She learned more backbone that she could've ever learned from any anatomy text book. She learned a lot of injustice and hypocrisy.

She just hoped Tsunade could finally get the public hospital politic approved and retake her under her wing.

Sakura might be growing little roots, but she might soon need a bigger tree beside her to keep the wind from knocking her down. The wind was getting wilder, she could see it in every corner of this place.

She could see it in the dead eyes of the doctors saying "no" too often. In the way patients leaved with a death sentence on their shoulders, people that could otherwise be happy.

She could see it in the way it was all making her hopeless, powerless. Less useful.

.

.

Author's note: This is something I've had stuck in my head for a while. Might keep working on this. Might just leave it here.

.