Author's Notes:

Wow it has been a long time since I've written anything for Harvey and Donna but the new season has caught my attention again. Like most of us, I will go down with this infuriating ship. A big shout out to my girl Atheniandream - the best person to bitch about Suits with.
There's some seriously good writing happening in this fandom now (it was so small back in 2012!) so I'd love to hear your feedback.

He makes a point of being on time. Arriving early would mean that he was eager for the night to be over with. Arriving late would mean that he was trying too hard to be nonchalant. He's no idiot, he knows Donna's powers extend beyond deciphering the placement of his tie.

The venue is modest; the private room of an upmarket cocktail bar. There's a pianist, which he appreciates, and open bar, which he needs to make it through the night. The room is tastefully decorated with a handful of fresh bouquets and warm lights. There is no awkwardly-staged photographs of the couple or a cheesy banner with the phrase, "we decided on forever" and he's thankful for that.

His first instinct is to hit the open bar but he's intercepted by a hand on his back and an annoying, familiar voice.

"Wow, Harvey, you got old."

He turns around mid-eye roll.

"It's been a year, Mike."

"Then time really has been cruel to you."

"Is this the part when we hug? Because I need to drunker for that."

Mike smiles, bringing Harvey into a hug.

"Hey, you were right for once," Mike says, clapping Harvey on the back. "This is the part where we hug."

"Seattle definitely hasn't made you any cooler."

The two men separate, "It can be hard improving perfection."

"I wasn't sure you two would make it."

"Are you kidding? Rachel said she doesn't care if she goes into labour down the aisle, she wouldn't miss being her best friend's maid of honour."

Harvey laughs. "Where is the old ball and chain?"

"My hot pregnant wife is saying hi to Donna first."

Harvey smirks, "Right."

"You probably shouldn't avoid it for too long either."

"Donna's busy."

Mike points behind him, "She's free now."

His eyes spot her quickly, she's laughing, eyes crinkling together, her head thrown back. She's stunning in an emerald green dress made of silk that sits low in the front and dips further in the back. She's never looked more beautiful, of course, and Harvey knows that tonight is going to feel like one slap in the face after another.

"I'll be right back."

As he's walking over, she comes into full view, and Thomas is standing at her side, his arm wrapped securely around her waist. His face is beaming. He looks as if he's just won the lottery. Probably because he has.

Thomas notices him before Donna does, which is annoying in itself. "Harvey," he says, gripping his hand in a firm handshake. Harvey squeezes back a little too tightly. The two haven't exactly been on friendly terms since the deal with Simon went sour. But he smiles for Donna's benefit alone.

"Congratulations you two."

Donna smiles warmly at him. He leans over, giving her a brief hug that verges on formal.

"Thanks, Harvey."

"I'll let you two catch up. My sister just arrived with her baby."

Thomas releases Donna and kisses her cheek.

"Okay, stupid."

Thomas smiles, rolling his eyes at what is apparently an inside joke. Unable to resist, Harvey asks, "Stupid?"

Donna shrugs. "You really don't think I'm the type to use a lame pet name like babe, do you?" she says, with a hint of distaste.

"Can't say I ever imagined it."

Donna holds his eyes a little too long, then clears her throat. "I'm glad you came, Harvey."

"Why wouldn't I?"

His words hang heavy in the air; a challenge. Donna refuses to take the bait.

"Well it means a lot that you did. Especially after –"

"It's water under the bridge, Donna," he cuts her off, saving them both the trouble of rehashing the whole ordeal with Hardman and one of their biggest fights to date.

Harvey is suddenly at a loss for what to say. Every time they're in the same room he feels like he's on the precipice of spilling everything he's spent years keeping in check. Now that she's here, standing in front of him, looking more beautiful and happier than he can remember, he can't even say a damn thing to her.

"I should let you mingle."

"Uh, sure, okay."

"I'll see you in a bit."

Harvey settles in close to the bar, away from the crowd but near enough that he can still catch Donna and her fiancé in his periphery, just often enough to be tortured for the rest of the evening.

Despite the free-flowing, celebratory champagne, he sticks to Macallan 18; its familiarity a point of comfort as he watches the lives of his closest friends and loved ones change drastically while his remains stagnant.

He's happy for Mike. Harvey watched the kid agonise over his past and try to make penance for years. Now he's married to the love of his life with a baby on the way. It's almost strange how much faster Mike grew up than he did. He's happy for Mike, but the envy he feels watching him and Rachel together almost burns his chest. He's never had what they have. Or what Donna and Thomas evidently have. He might have come close a few times, he muses, thinking of Scottie. He tried to make it work with Paula, he really did, but she wasn't a natural fit. He cared about her a lot, but he looks back on that relationship now and wonders how much of their connection was real, and how much had simply been manufactured by what she had learned about him through therapy.

He finishes his first drink and signals the bartender for a second. She wordlessly places the same drink in front of him, offering a small smile. Harvey puts a hundred dollar note in the tip jar and her smile blossoms into a full grin. "Thank you, sir."

"Don't mention it."

She turns away from him and Harvey quietly admires her. She's cute, with her long jet-black hair and easy smile, if not a tad too young for him. She looks back and catches his eye again, her look slightly more suggestive than before. If this was five years ago, he would have already decided to take her home. It's tempting, especially tonight, but screwing the bartender at Donna's engagement party would definitely send the wrong message.

He turns away from her, instead focusing on the crowd before him. Donna knows a lot of people. He sees a number of faces from the office and a select few members of her family, but he doesn't recognise two thirds of the guest list. Out the corner of his eye he notices Thomas holding who he presumes is his niece, lifting the baby in the air and laughing. Harvey rolls his eyes, of course he's good with kids. Donna then sidles up to him, reaching for the baby's hand and smiling. His second drink is a bitter one to swallow.

Harvey has his next few drinks in quick succession, quickly moving from sober and frustrated to inebriated and delightfully numb.

"You know the bar is open all night, Harvey."

"I'm just getting a head start," he tells an overly concerned Mike.

"How many have you had?" Mike asks, scrutinising his face.

"Enough to stop counting."

Mike claps him on the back, ushering him off his stool. "Come on, lets get some fresh air."

Harvey knocks away his hand, "Back off. I'm fine."

From the expression on Mike's face, Harvey guesses his protest was a little more public than intended. Mike looks around then back at Harvey.

In a lower tone he says, "Harvey, don't do this."

Harvey scoffs, finishing his drink and following Mike outside, ignoring a few overly concerned spectators.

Once they're outside, Mike wastes no time in cornering him. "Harvey, you need to pull your shit together."

"My shit is together, Mike."

"You've been sat at the bar since you got here."

"And how is that any of your business?"

Mike sighs, "Harvey, I know tonight is hard for you and don't disagree, okay?"

"Mike –"

"We've been friends a long time, so I know that any line you're about to feed me about being happy for Donna is total bullshit."

Harvey heaves as heavy sigh, slumping against the balcony. "I guess that makes me a real asshole."

"That's not what I'm saying, Harvey."

"Mike, I get that you're trying to help but I just want to be left alone."

Mike nods in understanding. "Okay, I'll be inside. Just don't leave without saying goodbye."

He stares out at the city for quite some time, taking deep breaths, trying to sober up enough to say goodbye to Donna without arousing her suspicions.

After a while, he hears the door to the balcony slide open again.

"Hey, Harvey."

He turns around, surprised to see Louis. "Hey, Louis, I didn't think you'd be here tonight."

"Esther was nice enough to babysit for us. Though I'll probably have to return the favour," he laments.

"Is she still crying through the night?"

"Who, Esther?"

Harvey snorts, "Your baby."

Louis smiles, "Oh yeah, all through the night. She's going to be difficult just like her daddy."

"Please don't say daddy."

Louis smirks, leaning on the rails beside him and looking out at the glow of the city.

"Mike said you were out here, I hope you don't mind if I join."

"Only if you speak."

Louis scoffs, bumping his shoulder with Harvey's.

"I know we don't always have a lot in common, Harvey, but if anyone knows what you're going through, it's me."

"And what exactly am I going through, Louis?" he asks, feeling his annoyance grow again.

"Can I be blunt?"

"I guess you're going to be either way."

Louis clasps his shoulder, making sure that Harvey really looks at him.

"I know what it's like to watch the woman you love get engaged to someone else."

Harvey pulls away from him.

"We've never talked about the two of you before."

"Because it's none of your business," he snaps.

"But I know enough from Donna to put the pieces together," Louis carries on. "Look, Thomas is a great guy and in any other context, he might be perfect for her…"

"And in this context?"

"You are perfect for her."

"Louis, please, you don't know what you're talking about."

"Hey, I didn't say you deserve her, in fact, I'm not sure any man is actually good enough for her."

Harvey chuckles, "Well that we can agree on."

"But I think she chose you a long time ago."

"Wake up, Louis, look where we are. Besides, I…"

"What?"

Harvey sighs, finally admitting defeat, "I could never tell her what she needed to hear."

"Harvey, if I had any inkling that a woman like Donna might return my feelings, there's no way I could keep my mouth shut."

"I don't want to lose her, Louis – that's why I could never say anything."

"Well, if you do nothing, you're going to lose her anyway."

Louis pats a reassuring hand on his back, then leaves him to consider his words.

Harvey walks back into the party with a quiet determination and Louis' voice replaying on a loop in his head. He sets his eyes on Donna and he feels the same mixture of thrill and terror that he has any time he's taken a huge gamble in his life.

"Harvey," she says, surprised to see him, "I thought you'd snuck out already."

"Do you really think I would leave without saying goodbye?"

By the look on her face, Harvey can tell that's exactly what she thinks.

"I know you and I haven't been on the best of terms lately," he confesses. "But tonight obviously means a lot to you, which is why I'm not going to make a scene."

"A scene?"

Harvey leans in close to her, his hand grazing her lower back so lightly that he feels her shiver under his touch.

"I could make a scene, Donna. I could ask you not to marry him in front of everyone, but I won't do that to you."

She rears back. "Harvey –"

"You and I need to talk, actually talk, without screaming at each other."

"Jesus, Harvey, you have some nerve…"

"I have things to say to you, Donna, but I'm not going to say them at your engagement party to another man."

He hears her breath intake, watches her eyes try to make sense of him but he refuses to give anything else away. Harvey is acutely aware that he's playing with fire, but he won't show his full hand yet. He and Donna are thirteen years in the making and fuck it, he wants to do this properly.

He kisses her cheek.

"I'll see you on Monday, Donna."

He vanishes from her party quietly, but finds himself filled with more purpose than he's had in months. He refuses to give up before he's even fought for her.