Well, it's just a...theory

By RaizelinPlaid

Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me. They belong to Shoot the Moon Enterprises and Warner Bros to who I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to keep their adventurous lives going and to the wonderful actors who created them. No copyright infringement is intended.

Dedications and Thank Yous:

Thank you to the writer of this episode Juanita Bartlett for writing the wonderful scene along the Thames River and not having Amanda finish her thought in response to Lee telling her she had "some fascinating theories." Letting the audience finish that thought for her led to this story.

Thank you to the ladies of MKC whose podcast on the Affair at Bromfield Hall inspired this little peek into what might have been going through Amanda's head the night before she left England after her scandalous "Affair at Bromfield Hall."

Thank you to Elizabeth Bowker for listening to me talk out the beginning stages of this one with me, and providing the feedback and questions necessary to get this one out of those sticky cobwebs.

Thank you to Clagjanet for her all her time, effort, and willingness to provide feedback and her impeccable editing talents and expertise. You know your unwavering support and encouragement allows me to continue to challenge myself.

Thank you to k2912p for taking the time to provide a read through for editing and feedback. Your attention to detail is incredible. If this gave you even a little distraction and made you smile with the fantasy fluff that night, then my job here was done.

Any errors grammar, spelling, or canon are solely my own.

Amanda neatly folded a pair of navy slacks. She laid them carefully into her brown suitcase with the stripe sitting on the fabric covered bench at the end of her king-sized bed. Since hanging up with her mother and the boys, she hadn't gotten as far in her packing as she had planned.

"You have some fascinating theories," Lee had awkwardly stated unable to make eye contact with her as they stood along the Thames River together. Those words continued to echo endlessly in Amanda's mind and seemed to reverberate back to her off the muted colored walls. Ever since she had finally retreated to the sanctuary of her room, Amanda had tried to shut out her thoughts of the last case.

She had chosen to beg Lee off early that night for fear of another awkward moment with him. She told him she had just wanted to call her family, take a hot bath, pack and get a good night's rest before leaving early the next day for their return trip.

"Is everything alright?" Lee had asked her with obvious concern as he walked her back to her room that night.

"Yes, of course, Lee. Really, I'm just tired from this case. I'm looking forward to getting home, and I want to make sure Mother has all my flight information, and when I will be arriving," she had assured him again as he unlocked the door to her suite for her.

In truth, she had been feeling very conflicted and confused since she had tried to explain to Lee her theory of why Lady Bromfield didn't love her husband. She still couldn't figure out how her attempt to simply explain to him her thoughts about Lady Bromfield ended up with her feeling she was revealing something to him she hadn't intended to. It was as if she had accidentally uncovered some uncomfortable truth that was best left hidden. She had just wanted to be alone to sort out her thoughts.

Now, safely ensconced in her hotel room with the colorful floral bedspread turned down for the night, the only sound was the angry windblown rain on the windows of the room. The dark and ominous stormy night was a stark contrast to the cheery decor of her brightly lit hotel room. She had hoped the sounds of her family filling her in on what she had missed would have calmed her frazzled nerves, but her ruminations had continued. So, before packing, she had decided to take a long hot bubble bath and change into her favorite pink nightgown with the lace trim along the neckline in hopes of finally quieting her mind. Despite all her distraction techniques, however, her thoughts continued to plague her as she decided what could be packed next in her still near-empty bag.

When Mr. Melrose had called her into his office several days ago, she had thought he wanted Lee's latest expense report. She had been so exasperated with the tediousness of the task at that point. It was taking her far longer than expected because he had so many receipts for meals, drinks, and flowers that she wasn't sure which were actually for cases or for some of those girls she knew he dated.

Rushing in holding the folder containing her work she began, "I'm sorry, Sir. Lee's receipts are just taking longer to figure out this time. I will have it ready by 5 as you requested."

Billy motioned for Amanda to take a seat. "Amanda, this isn't about the receipts. I have an assignment for you if you can get away from your family for a few days."

"What is it, Sir?" she had asked with renewed enthusiasm. She sat on the edge of her chair in anticipation.

Billy got right to the point. "I want you to go to London to be part of Lee's cover."

"What would you like for me to be doing as part of that cover, Sir?" Amanda's growing excitement was evident in her voice.

"Well, Lee will be acting as the President of Anacord Electronics."

"And me, Sir? What is my cover?" Amanda asked hopefully. The idea of finally being rid Lee's paperwork for a while being dangled in front of her like a carrot was too good to resist.

"You are going to be...," Billy hesitated for a moment before finishing his request of her. He knew that Amanda's patience had been severely tried with trying to do Lee's expenses and reports. Deciding the direct approach would be best, he bluntly stated,

" ….his secretary."

For a moment, Amanda just stared at him, slack-jawed. She felt like a balloon that just had all of its air let out of it. Despite her resignation, in characteristic Amanda fashion, with a tight smile now plastered on her face, she brightly responded, "Yes, Sir. Is there anything else?" Billy picked up on Amanda's quickly changing emotions from his keen sense of observation from his years of field work. Knowing he needed to make her feel a valuable member of the team, he responded to her question. "Keep your eyes and ears open, Amanda. You have good instincts, so use them. Lee is going to need help on this one. No one is going to suspect a secretary who is supposed to be taking notes."

Before she knew it, she was in London using her rusty shorthand to take dictation from Lee, playing the role of his dutiful and attentive secretary as only she could. She had decided that she was going to find her silver lining in this assignment. She was getting a trip to England. She could practice her shorthand if she ever did need to use it. She could help Lee being those extra set of eyes and ears for him and get help if he needed it.

Having bolstered herself back up and finding her enthusiasm again, she was brought back down yet again with Lee's two words to describe her role. "Window dressing," he had nonchalantly called her when she asked what else she could do to help him. It continued to irk her even now that he'd said he didn't need her help. It seemed that was all he ever saw her as being capable of doing: being "window dressing." So, as usual, he had tried to push her away by telling her that she should spend the time sightseeing. Although her exuberance for being an extra set of eyes and ears as Mr. Melrose requested was diminished, she tried to find her silver lining yet again. She couldn't deny wanting to do some exploring of the sights and sounds of London.

"All I wanted was to see some real English culture! It wasn't like I was trying to get into trouble!" Amanda loudly declared to the raging storm as she haphazardly flung the matching navy jacket into the suitcase.

In the end, the resulting scandal she found herself embroiled in with Lord Bromfield wasn't even her fault. Trying to neatly fold a buttoned-down blue shirt, she continued aloud, "Of course, Lee blamed me yet again for something I didn't do. It wasn't like I already didn't feel guilty enough. I knew it could affect his case without him having to point that fact out to me. He couldn't even admit that at least it did validate his cover!" She paused in her packing and sighed. "Yet, to keep the news out of the US papers, he did call in a few favors for me. He didn't have to do that. So why did he?" Amanda wondered aloud to herself as she carefully packed away a scarf.

Her forgiving mood didn't last long, though. Amanda recalled next how quickly Lee had warmed to the idea of her spending the weekend at Bromfield Hall. That was until Lord Bromfield insisted Lee had to come too. She chuckled to herself at the memory of how Lord Bromfield guilted Lee into coming. She knew that Lee was just trying to push her away again, but why he continued to do that throughout the case was still a mystery to her confused and muddled brain.

In point of fact, she reiterated to herself, she had saved Lee from that falling urn, and it was she who overheard that conversation in the library. And maybe it was just dumb luck that Lee had instructed her to go the library to research Lady Bromfield's genealogy, but if she hadn't taken quick action after hearing Jeffrey Douglas Wood and Errol Pridemore talking about what they were planning, then he wouldn't have known they were coming to kill him. Lee, yet again, had been trying to push her away from trying to help, and yet again it had backfired on him.

"Actually," her thoughts churned aloud like the storm, "Every time he pushes me away by making something up for me to go do, it backfires on him. It is like some game of tug-of-war with all the pushing and pulling."

Finally, she concluded aloud to her cheery room. "For 'window dressing' or 'background,' I certainly did more than decorate Lee's cover or remain in the shadows or hidden away in the library."

She muttered angrily as she roughly threw a cream-colored blouse into the open suitcase in time with a loud thunderclap, "And, okay, so I was wrong about Lady Bromfield being the leak! But I was right about her not loving her husband!"

Amanda replayed the conversation that led her to that conclusion for the millionth time. As the raging storm outside matched her internal struggles, she was now finally able to finish the one thought aloud that she couldn't finish in front of Lee. "They're just ...theories after meeting you."

She recalled vividly her thought process which led her to share with Lee the suspicion that had been brewing in her mind. She now realized she had been unconsciously developing this theory throughout her life. Her parents often openly showed their affection for one another with frequent displays of hugging, kissing, dancing, and simply holding hands with one another. She and Joe had, at one time, been just as open in showing their affection for one another frequently threading their hands together as they walked to Dooley's. Even with Dean, Amanda had wanted to feel his warmth and comfort at times with a simple hug. However, she had never been able to crystallize her intuition until that moment overlooking the Thames.

After having met Lady Bromfield, Amanda couldn't escape the feeling that she was, well, cold and calculating. She had been welcoming, polite and hospitable when they had arrived, but Amanda had gotten the distinct impression that this was all for show. Amanda knew that Lady Bromfield was busy attending to her guests. However, what she didn't see, as she tried to explain to Lee, was Lady and Lord Bromfield entertaining their guests together, as a couple.

"You know, now that I am thinking about this again," Amanda spoke aloud to the walls, "they stood apart from each other, never together, and sometimes were not even in the same room. Yet, despite the fact we constantly deny that there is anything more complicated between us whenever it is even suggested, Lee remained by my side all evening until he saw Comstock walk in."

Amanda's mind continued rambling through the sequence of events from their talk by Lambeth Bridge. After convincing Lee to let her go back to Bromfield Hall with him, Lee had put his arm around her as they walked, bringing her closer to him. She had gotten so used to his hand resting at the small of her back or gently on her waist that she no longer noticed - until just then. Up until that moment, she had always taken his tendency to keep her near him as him just feeling protective of her, whether it was having his arm around her or simply holding her hand. However, after explaining to him what he termed "some fascinating theories," were his actions towards her further proof of her theory? She again felt the confusion growing of what exactly she had been trying to prove to him at that moment.

"What was I trying to prove - exactly?" Amanda voiced aloud.

Her thoughts came to a screeching halt when a sudden knock at the adjoining door to her suite sounded an alarm in her brain.

"Hey, Amanda!" Lee called out while pounding loudly on the door.

Realization quickly dawned on Amanda that she must have been talking out loud to herself again. Muttering quietly under her breath that she couldn't get a moment's peace, she opened the door.

"I thought I heard voices in here," Lee stated. Amanda could hear the uneasiness in his voice. Clad in some comfortable grey sweats, he moved into her room looking wildly around for any sign of intruders. He was a bit taken aback to see some of Amanda's things strewn around her room. From his vantage point of her backyard windows, he had noted she was usually neat and tidy unless the boys had been playing and left their things around.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Lee," Amanda quickly apologized trying to block his view of her messy room while hoping he didn't sense her momentary embarrassment of being overheard. "I must've had the tv on too loud. I was just watching one of those old westerns while packing." She marveled at the fact of how easily she could spin a white lie now.

"You sure everything is okay? You seem…" Lee scratched the back of his head with his hand searching to find the right adjective to describe her behavior, "I don't know, upset about...something."

The thought quickly passed through her mind that for a trained agent, he sometimes lived up to his codename. He seemed to have a brain full of straw when it involved trying to figure out what she was thinking and feeling.

Amanda continued to reassure Lee. "Really, Lee, I'm fine. Just trying to find space in my bag for everything since I bought those presents for Mother and the boys. Just getting frustrated trying to fit everything in at the moment."

"Well, I am right next door if you need anything. I have some extra room if you want me to take something," he offered, taking both her hands in his and squeezing them reassuringly. It was then that he noticed that she was only wearing her nightgown.

"No, that's very kind of you to offer, Lee. I have everything laid out now so I should be just fine," Amanda said looking down at their hands feeling his warmth and pressure. The weight of his stare brought her eyes up to meet his. Unsure of what she saw in them, she pulled her hands from his as if she was touching fire and began pushing him back to his side of the door.

"Okay. If you are sure, then I should..." Lee began pointing his thumb back in the direction of his side of the door. "Well, then, good night," Lee reluctantly said as he stood now on his side of the threshold.

"Night, Lee," Amanda said, almost shutting the door in his face.

As soon as the door was closed, Amanda leaned heavily against it for support. Her heart was racing and her legs felt shaky. "He did it again," was her immediate thought. She had gone out of her way this evening to avoid exactly what she was afraid was going to happen - another unexplainable moment between them.

Now, as her breathing steadied, her thoughts resumed where they had left off. In a whispering tone, Amanda said to the door, "Was that just more proof that two people who care about each other want to touch each other and want to hold each other? Is that the simple explanation?"

Sure, Lee had told Lord Bromfield that he cared about her reputation, although reluctantly. But was putting his arm around her, was holding her hands like he just did, proof that he didn't just care about her reputation and her physical well being, but that actually, he might be reaching out to touch her proof he really cared about her?

Shaking her head at where her rambling thoughts had finally led, Amanda noticed her sheer black evening gown with the delicately beaded bodice laying in the middle of the pile of strewn clothing on her bed ready to be packed.

Finding her legs would now support her weight again without the aid of the door, she walked slowly over to pick up it. She held it up to herself. A small shy smile crept across her face remembering how when she had put it on the other night, she had hoped to be able to dance with Lee wearing it. She had imagined how it would feel to have his arms around her, guiding her as they swayed together to soft romantic music in the large ornate ballroom. Now, she only heard the soft pitter-patter of raindrops dancing on her window from the retreating storm. With an audible sigh in her voice, she said to the dress, "Well, I think I am going to have to collect more evidence. My theory has yet to be proven….conclusively," and she carefully packed the evening gown away while quietly humming to herself 'My Favorite Things' from The Sound of Music.