Ordinarily, I would be a whole lot more at ease if they had left me by myself, in an isolated environment as I usually was. The old clock on the wall ticked with each passing second and it was becoming dreadfully loud.

The sudden absence of Hiratsuka pushed the atmosphere in the classroom beyond its flashpoint. I watched her, she stared down at the closed book. I was about to try to say something but the thick air had started to suffocate me.

This had happened before. It was another ordinary Friday afternoon, the last bell just rang minutes ago. The curtains swayed with a light breeze, and as the rays of the setting sun streamed through, a young boy in his early teens gathered all his courage and confessed.

I still clearly remembered the girl's voice. "Can't we just be friends?"

We had not spoken a single word since, let alone staying friends. Sometimes it made me ponder the difference between friendship and romance, and if the former was a relationship in which both participants did not have conversations with each other. Though it had become clear that this traumatic event led to my general fear of girls.

The point is - despite being physically together with a beautiful female in an isolated environment like the climax of a classical romantic fiction, my train of thought ran wild in precisely the opposite direction.

Instead of wasting time playing the staring contest, I eventually broke the silence.

"Good afternoon." My voice sounded hoarse, still under the influence of adrenaline.

Yukino glanced at me as if I was a piece of garbage. She narrowed her large eyes as if to half-close them and let out a cold sigh. Then, with a voice like the murmuring of a clear stream, she spoke to me.

"You know, instead of standing there while watching me and fantasizing, why don't you grab yourself a chair and take a seat."

"Ah, yes, sorry."

I mumbled, unconsciously apologizing to her. Despite having not spoken over twenty words since I had entered the room, Yukinoshita regarded me with passive hostility. Her presence was overwhelming. Timidly I removed a chair and sat down some two meters away from Yukino, facing her.

The name Yukinoshita carried some meanings of aristocracy in the school's social hierarchy - much in the way that she scored consistently in front of the pack and also because no matter what, her beautiful body set her apart. Normal classes such as mine already developed some deep-rooted grudges against the elite class, and as a result, little was known regarding the social circles within the creams of the crop themselves. Just like her name, the snow under snow, however beautiful she was, she was untouchable and unobtainable much like a good chunk of plutonium, glowing red hot but at the same time emitting deadly radiation. The attitude she displayed toward me; however, possibly hinted that Yukinoshita, after all, did not fare too well among her peers. I had always prided myself with the talent to see through the facades people put up to hide their true intents, thanks to the emotional trauma the girl whom I confessed to had put me through. In the case of Yukinoshita, though my intuitive hypothesis could be completely wrong, her excessive aggression may have been an outward projection of insecurity, loneliness or the combination thereof.

I never thought that, through this absurd turn of events, I could be acquainted with her. Imagine the stunned faces when I eventually break the news to my friends, all twisted in jealousy. Though unfortunately there was no one on an empty friend list to boast to.

In fact my less-than-competent guesswork had greatly piqued my interest in this untouchable Miss Beautiful. It was true that she despised me, but being as lowly as a social outcast, I frankly had nothing to lose. The worst thing she could possibly perform against me would be to never speak to me again, which in this instance I was never supposed to have interactions with her to begin with.

"So," Yukinoshita began, with the beautiful voice of her's, after stowing the book away into a backpack and placing her hands firmly against her thighs, "What is it that you were about to say? I couldn't help but notice that you have been watching me for an extended period of time. Which I assume suits your stalker's personality fairly well - I must say."

Despite her passive-aggressiveness, I somehow found the sound of her voice flirtatious and almost in a way erotic. It reminded me of certain fans would pay an idol to assault them with derogatory language.

"What kind of 'service' do you perform here in the club?" I swallowed, "Because I couldn't help but to notice that it doesn't have any members. I've been thinking about what I should do about all this nonsense."

"About what?"

"Well, I mean… It's just that she took me here without anything but a confusing explanation."

Yukinoshita expressed her annoyance by clicking her tongue and forcefully slapping the book shut. Then after glaring at me with her eyes, as though I was a mentally challenged, she breathed out a heavy sigh of resignation and uttered a few words.

"... I suppose you're right. She really is hopeless sometimes.

"The word 'service', in this case, could be used interchangeably with the word 'help'. It was my idea to make the name sound more please to the ears. I remember you asked about what we do to help people, and to answer your question more accurately, allow me to use an example. For instance, there are many things that a student would face in his daily life that require external assistance, failing a midterm, not understanding a math concept, being asked to rewrite an essay, not knowing how to properly phrase a confession and maybe just consultation in general.

"Which leads us to your case." She got up from her chair and walked over to a table close to the door. Laying on top of the table, as I just noticed, was the essay I wrote in Hiratsuka's class.

"Pretentious caringness and general disappointment in the way socially adept people talk. I see. What you wrote here was quite spicy, nonetheless showed some reasonable arguments that I couldn't help but to agree with." Yukinoshita clutched the paper in one hand, while slowly strolled around the empty classroom with a teacher's authority. She paused for a minute or so, presumably to finish reading the essay.

"The downfall to it, however, was that while you tore apart and criticized the general lack of genuine expression of feelings in social interactions, you have not provided any concrete ways of improvement. Social courtesies do serve a purpose, a very important one in fact, and that is to cushion the interaction between people and make the experience more pleasant. As a species we have evolved to form language and complex social relations, and judging by your opinions, you'd like to crudely remove all that and lay waste to the very core that allowed you to live in a peaceful society today and express these toxic opinions. Now THIS, in essence, is the sentimental archaism that you both despised and tried to avoid. The only thing you achieved here is to whine about your state of being socially awkward."

Perhaps my gaze became too focused on the soft texture of her lips, so much so that when she ceased speaking and presented me with a perfect smile, I finally came to notice that Yukinoshita had once again sat down on the chair in front of me. Then it was the awkward silence, I knew I was supposed to say something, be it compliments or criticism, to keep this one-sided conversation going.

She seemed to have noticed my struggle for words, and continued to trample over my already crushed self confidence.

"Tell me, Hikigaya-kun, in that genuine, truthful and reformed way that you would like to speak in, tell me, what do you think of me?" Yukinoshita pressed her torso forward, this time wearing a victorious smirk on her face.

"You're a demon superwoman and a master of criticism."

"Nice try. When I was talking I could already see your faceful of arousal and the perverted thoughts your reptilian brain was generating - otherwise you wouldn't avoid all eye contact and stared half the time at my mouth and half the time at my thighs. You too, have fallen victim to the use of euphemism, the very exact culture that you just criticised. "

Yukinoshita gestured me to remain silent, just as I prepared to comment.

"This isn't to say that I have nothing to agree with your essay however, you seem to have some keen observation of our society's flaws. If Hiratsuka wants a rewrite, just fill in a few constructive suggestions to replace the shortcomings that you've discussed in the previous paragraphs."

I could not deny the fact that her sharpness made me feel rather evenly matched, if not simply overpowered. It was exhilarating. Usually, I tend to dominate conversations and eventually get people to quit talking, as they were not able to form a proper rebuttal. Yukinoshita was different. I did, in fact, adore her company.

"So." I scanned around, looking for a possible clock hanging on the wall. "How much time do we have left?"

"You've been here for ten minutes, asked for writing advice, and now you're just going to leave? If that is the case, then I must say your straightforwardness is pissing me off."

"Alright. I'll stay. Though I do prefer more information regarding what this whole club thing is about. You have given me the impression that it's nothing more than group reading time plus occasional critique."

It seemed to me that posing a stern attitude had some effect on Yukino, as she shut the book once and for all and placed it into a backpack leaning against the leg of the chair. Her face relaxed and dulled and the body language became less intimidating.

"The club, to be fair, was not my idea alone. Hiratsuka made it, and one day after school I was informed that I was now the president of the club. I didn't decline, in fact, I liked the idea. Not for being helpful, of course, as only idiots would actually make an organisation whose only task is to give to the less fortunate. I don't care about the petty tasks, like, helpling a total stranger to write a love letter to some random girl that doesn't even know his name. This is silly and doesn't take a genius to understand why. I'm here because I like my alone time and the atmosphere, they make me feel peaceful.

"You may want to ask, 'why does she create a club just to enjoy some alone time?' Well there's also a second level to this. From the fact that you've already heard of my name before even meeting me, it's a rather inconvenient fact that I very well know. Appearance, grades, background, personality, everything about me stands out from the rest. Don't view it as some anti-establishment sort of thing, though, as I am fully self-conscious about what I have and do appreciate what my parents gave me.

"On the other hand, everything comes at a cost and in my case, it is the demands that I have to answer every waking moment of my life. I have to live up to the expectations of not only my family, but also anyone around and to tell you the truth, it starts to get on my nerves after a while. They should praise me for my achievements and not demand more of it. This is why the service club is here. I help people. They need my assistance. I feel superior because they need me. I am all-powerful and in complete control.

"But I ask you: do you not want the same? By writing this obviously off-topic essay and going through all the burden of dealing with Hiratsuka, do you not crave the same attention? By pulling a stunt like this you have effectively announced that you do, in fact, like to be wanted and needed. We are social animals with a hint of solitude in us. You've been giving yourself the blue pills all along. I know for a fact that you won't quit the club, because you too will enjoy the company here and not even your family dares to say what I say. This is what the service club stands for. By providing you with the service you need, I'm also doing myself a favour."

For the next thirty seconds we stared at each other in silence, as Yukinoshita's modest chest rose and fell in an attempt to recover from the long speech.

"Hikigaya-kun, how many years has it been since you've last talked to a woman, with the exception of necessary interactions?"

I was fairly confident with my memory, especially the kind of trivial interactions that most people tend to forget in hours - to the point where the girls in my class treated me like a stalker.

It must've happened quite some time ago, perhaps a few years, I assured myself.

Girl: It's pretty hot today huh?

I: More like humid and warm, don't you think?

Girl: What? Oh..Ugh… Yeah, I guess

The end.

It went more or less that way. Except for the fact that the person that I replied to was actually not talking to me but another girl sitting directly behind my back. Survival instincts make us more susceptible to remembering bad memories and every now and then I would recall the awkwardness in the middle of the night and mutter curses in silence.

"Several years, maybe, I'm not sure."

Just as I squeezed out a haphazard response. At some point, Yukinoshita stood up again. Naturally, she was looking down at me.

"Those that possess much are oftentimes pressured into giving to those who do not. Some call this volunteering. Developed countries providing astronomical financial and development assistance to developing countries, popular students give the socially awkward boy the opportunity to talk to a girl. This is what you would think this club does.

"But remember, those that possess much would found charities as a natural tax haven. Volunteers leave as soon as their organisers write them the reference portion of the resume. Developed countries build extravagant infrastructures to snare third world countries into debt traps and expect them to pay back with the complete surrender of their right to natural resources. Popular students shove the unpopular boy in front of the faces of the girl and her friends, only for him to be ridiculed and brutalised. This club focuses on realistic strategies and practical solutions that will exclusively be in the guests and members' best interest.

"Welcome to the service club. I invite you."

If she actually meant to welcome me, then it must have been a very cold welcome, amplified by the way she said straight to my face.

"According to Hiratsukka, it is the duty of those who are superior to save those who lead a pitiable existence. But as far as my understanding goes, you cannot, and do not need to be saved. In some ways I am clearly superior but in some others, I am just as much awkward. This is not a world where the hero goes walking around saving helpless people like the erotic light novels you read. I will make sure that I accomplish the task she requested and fulfill the responsibility to its maximum. At the same time you must realise that I am only doing this because she had requested me to do so, and it will be your responsibility to make yourself useful."

"So where exactly do we start?"

"Your face, Hikigaya-kun. Have you not taken the liberty of looking at yourself in a mirror? If you haven't noticed, then I will kindly inform you that the way you stare at me is vulgar. You're a weirdo. And I'm already creeped out."

"I don't need the opinion from a weird girl like you who also happens to have no friends and with the nice addition of a personal cult of haters."

She really was awkward. At least now I have confirmed what the rumours suggested. The rumours that I just happened to eavesdrop since I didn't recall ever talking to someone. The rumours that said Yukinoshita was a much darker entity than what her appearance seemed to suggest. The cold, sadistic smile she wore on her face conveyed precisely that.

"Hmm… Based on my observations, it seems that your current situation is a direct consequence of your corrupt facial expression and misogynistic temperament," Yukinoshita concluded. "You're so pitiable, I just can't leave you alone, you know? If Hiratsuka hadn't told you to come here for another term, the only way I would possibly get to know you is when you brandish a loaded rifle in a crowded classroom."

"At least I scored third in the Japanese proficiency part of the entrance exam."

"To be so full of yourself just because you scored great on one part of an entrance exam is pathetic. Considering the fact that your name wasn't even on the top-50 leaderboard, it's very safe to assume that your performance in the other sections did a great job balancing it out. Using one exam in a particular subject as indicative of one's intellect is also pathetic."

Given that Yukinoshita probably hadn't actually conversed with any person for a considerable period of time, her extremely high verbosity and the constant passive-aggressive flow of toxicity out of her mouth was completely within reason, at least from my reckoning. It was somewhat entertaining as well, as being scolded by a beautiful female in an intelligently articulate manner had made the experience uniquely enjoyable and satisfying.

"Some say that all that matters is personality." Yukinoshita continued, as she stood in front of me and examined, "Though I must disagree, because if that's the case, you would not have suffered a solitary lifestyle to such a degree."

"Are you suggesting that I have a disfigured face? The last time I saw my face it certainly seemed normal to me."

"That's not what I mean. I'm just telling you that sometimes the truth hurts more than the words."

Yukinoshita took on a serious expression as she rested her hands on my shoulders.

"Come back to reality. Beauty is not a subjective standard rated by oneself. In other words, since we are alone in this room, them my opinion would become the absolute standard." She muttered. "For starters, eyes such as the two on your face certainly resemble those of a rotten fish, and they would certainly leave a negative impression to anyone with the remote possibility of striking a conversation with you. I'm not criticising your facial features but rather your facial expression, which is disgusting, especially right now."

Even though there was a good thirty centimetre of distance between us, I still felt her soft breath tickling the tip of my nose. Then I took a deep breath.

"Never knew you were so good at making cookies."

She immediately jolted back, hand covering her mouth, and glared angry daggers at me. The look in her eyes was comparable to that of a bloodthirsty predator, but her shy face was certainly cute beyond reason.

"...You creep"

Whatever insults she was planning before that, it certainly did kill the mood. Just as I was busy celebrating a hard-fought victory, Yukinoshita flipped her hair over the shoulder and announced, as if triumphant, "The point is, basing one's entire identity in superficial aspects such as grades or appearance is certainly unappealing, not to mention these obnoxious eyes of yours."

"I can't change the way I look at people, you know."

Yukinoshita massaged her temple as if she had a migraine. "Yes, I certainly do feel bad for your parents for giving birth to a child stuck on the lower-functioning end of the autistic spectrum."

"Anyways, I guess this completes the social interaction rehabilitation. You performed miserably. There is no chance of you being able to converse normally with the majority of the population and I will certainly notify Hiratsuka of my findings." She squeezed out a wryly pleasant smile, "Now that you have this spectacular memory of having a conversation with a girl that will keep you going even when you're alone."

"You mean the intimate tactile and olfactory stimulation that I received from a girl that will keep me going even when I'm alone in bed?"

I chuckled at my terrible sense of humour as Yukinoshita glared at me as if to question my reason to exist. Then a piercing silence descended upon this long-abandoned classroom - I thought I had a tinnitus attack.

It continued for a while until being suddenly broken by the sound of the sliding door being violently pulled open with a resonating rattle.

"Just how many times do I have to tell you to knock…" Yukinoshita complained.

Now resuming upload. Sorry about the long pause.