Chapter 17- Thing's That Needed To Be Said

When Izuku woke next it was to silence and darkness. He panicked for a moment thinking he was still trapped under the heavy rubble. He quickly rationalized that was impossible due to him being able to move.

"M-Mr. A-Aizawa?" He whispered out. He was met with silence.

Izuku slowly slid his body off the infirmary bed. He felt a slight pinch in his right arm and recognized it came from an IV needle. He gently pulled it out with his left arm, which to Izuku's delight didn't hurt anymore. He slid off the bed, easily finding some slippers on the floor and slipped them on his feet. He walked towards the wall and felt around for the room's light switch and flicked it on. The room lit up, causing Izuku to squint slightly, the bright light assaulting his vision.

He glanced over towards the chair where he saw Aizawa last only to find it empty. Of course, the man wasn't there, did he really expect Aizawa to stay the whole time he was here?

Stupid Deku.

The boy let out a long weary sigh. He knew logically the man had better things to do then stay with him, but he had secretly hoped he would have stayed. His chest panged with hurt leaving a wave of loneliness in its path. His hand found its way to Mr. Gooey, he gently gave it a squeeze in hopes of letting out some of his emotions. It wasn't that effective.

Izuku quietly slid the infirmary room's door open and winced slightly. Despite Recovery Girl's healing, his chest still felt sore. Although he would take the soreness over the crushing pain he felt earlier any day.

He quietly slipped out into the dark hallway, leaving the door open to provide some light. He started to absentmindedly stroll down the hallway. Once he reached the end he turned the corner and kept going.

Izuku honestly didn't know where he was going, he just knew he had to move. If he stayed in that bed any longer he knew he was going to go crazy. He had a lot on his mind and he considered vocalizing his busy thoughts to Aizawa, but it was obvious the man didn't like him as much as he thought.

He doesn't actually like you. He's just doing his job. You are nothing but a bother. An annoying pathetic child. Get it through your thick skull! Aizawa. Does. Not. Care.

Izuku's eyes quickly grew wet, before he could even think to prevent the tears they were already falling down his face. Why does he care so much? He's lived this long without anyone, so why?

He continued walking down the hall but was walking crookedly due to his blurred vision. More tears slipped down his face.

"But… I wanted him to care." He whispered out to himself.

He tripped over his own foot and stumbled to the ground, landing roughly on his knees. A small burst of pain radiated through his kneecaps which faded into a dull throb. Izuku let out a loud sniffle and shifted himself into a sitting position and slid himself against the nearest wall.

He doesn't care. He doesn't care. He DOESN'T care!

He curled his legs up to his chest and rested his arms in a crossing position on them. When he felt more tears starting to well up he ducked his head down into his awaiting arms. Izuku closed his eyes and waited for his emotions to pass, or for him to run out of tears, whichever came first.

"Why do I want him to care so much?" He whispered out in a shaky voice.

You don't deserve it.

When Izuku was met with silence to his desperate question, something snapped in him. His body quickly went from cold empty sorrow to hot angry rage. Izuku whipped himself off the ground and ripped Mr. Gooey off his chest. He stared down at the slime that rested in the palm of his hand with a look of disgust.

"Why do I want him to care?!" Izuku waited for the answer that he knew wouldn't come. Before he could stop himself he tightly gripped Gooey and then angrily whipped the blob across the hall. He watched the glob of slime smack onto the wall across from him.

"WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER!?" Izuku angrily yelled at the blob. He knew logically the blob was physically incapable of talking, or even having thoughts. But that knowledge made him all the angrier.

"IT'S NOT FAIR!" He yelled out. Rage filled tears slipped down his face. "I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS!" He fell back down onto the ground and let his arm fall so the back of his hand was flat on the ground. He guiltily called Mr. Gooey back into his open hand.

Once again he brought the blob up to his face. "Now that I've been shown what it's like to be cared for again, I don't think I can go back to how I was. That scares me Gooey." His voice started to shake. "That scares me more than being stuck under that rubble. What if he really doesn't care? What if I'm left alone again? I'm so sca-red" His voice broke into more tears.

It doesn't matter, you don't deserve happiness. Stupid Deku. Murderers deserve to be alone.

"Shut up!" He yelled at himself through tears. "Mr. Aizawa said I don't deserve this, he sa-"

STUPID DEKU. Mr. Aizawa lied. Stupid ignorant Deku. Don't you realize by now that you don't deserve happiness? That you deserve to be alone? You should just give up.

Izuku let out a sob at his inner thought's discouraging words. The most upsetting part about his thoughts was that he truly believed he was getting a little tiny bit better. He was wrong.

Just give up. Give up and die. Give up. Give up. GIVE UP. Give up and let me finally fe-

"Midoriya?" A gruff tired sounding voice called out, interrupting Izuku's crude thoughts.

The green-haired boy nodded his head towards the tired sounding voice. He was surprised to find that it was Aizawa.

"Mr. A-Aizawa?" Izuku quietly called out through his choked up voice.

"Hey, hey, kid, what's wrong?" Aizawa asked in a concerned voice while walking towards Izuku's crumpled form. "Why are you crying? Are you hurt?"

"N-no I'm fine. I j-just, I-I-" Izuku stopped himself. How was he supposed to explain why he was crying to Mr. Aizawa? Should he even explain himself? What if his teacher thought of him as pathetic and annoying?

You are pathetic and annoying, of course, he's going to think that. Idiot.

"It's okay to tell me, I won't laugh." Aizawa prompted in hopes of getting Izuku to open up.

Izuku opened his mouth and then closed it, unsure if he should speak or not. He finally decided that he had nothing to lose.

"I w-was afraid."

"Well, it's completely normal to be afraid after the traumatic experience you just went through." Aizawa stated seriously.

"Th-that's not why I was a-afraid." Izuku stuttered out.

Aizawa looked at him in puzzlement. "Then what are you afraid of?" He questioned.

Izuku took a big inhale before he spoke again. "I w-woke up and you were g-gone and I felt alone. Being alone is really s-scary after you have been it for so l-long. I've j-just realized that now that I have e-experienced your kindness and company that I n-never want to be alone again. W-when I woke up and you were gone, I thought that y-you didn't care. That I was going to be a-alone again after all."

When Izuku finished he quickly shut his eyes, he was afraid to see Aizawa's face. He was afraid to see the disgust. To his surprise, he felt warm arms wrap around him and pull him into a warm chest.

"Oh, kid I'm sorry." Aizawa muttered out sincerely. "I went to go take a phone call, I didn't want to wake you. I promise I was waiting for you. I wasn't going to leave you alone, and I don't plan on it."

Izuku felt Aizawa's hand rub up and down his back in a comforting manner. Maybe the man really did care. Izuku hesitantly brought his arms around the man and hugged him back. It felt really nice. This affirmed Izuku's previous thoughts, he can't go back to being alone.

Don't get to close! You'll kill him! You'll infect him!

Izuku scrunched his eyebrows together. His thoughts sounded desperate. That was… strange.

"I'm s-sorry." Izuku muttered out.

"What on earth do you have to be sorry for kid?" Aizawa mumbled out albeit exasperated.

"I o-over reacted. I'm b-being d-dumb and annoying."

"Midoriya." Aizawa said firmly. "Having emotions isn't 'dumb' or 'annoying' it's completely natural, there's nothing wrong with it. Understand?"

Izuku nodded his head in understanding. Aizawa stood up and held a hand down towards Izuku. He gladly grasped the man's outstretched hand and was pulled up.

Aizawa let out a tired sigh. "Other than the emotions, how are you feeling? Any pain still?"

"N-no, not really. My ch-chest is a little s-sore but that's it." Izuku stuttered out.

Aizawa let out a hum. "I suppose you are mostly healed, but I would like Recovery Girl to look over you one last time before we leave."

Izuku nodded in agreement. Having one more check-up was probably best. Together, they walked back to the infirmary room. Izuku sat on the bed he was sleeping on and Aizawa sat back in the uncomfortable chair. It was still early in the morning, so they would have to wait a bit before Recovery Girl was available.

Aizawa let out a bored sigh. "You should try to sleep some more before your check-up"

"I-I don't think I w-would be able to f-fall asleep i-if I tried." Izuku said.

Aizawa hummed again in response. An awkward silence was quickly becoming more and more apparent. It was obvious Aizawa wasn't much for small talk and Izuku usually didn't talk unless he was prompted to.

"Why did you agree to take care of me?" Izuku was surprised at himself when the question suddenly slipped out of his mouth.

Aizawa seemed to be equally surprised. "You're my student. If needed I'll take care of you, like I would any of my students."

"If you had the option to say no, would you have?" Izuku asked.

Aizawa let out a tiny knowing smirk. "Kid, I did have the option to say no. I don't know what that brain of yours is telling you but I care about you, and all of my students. I would say yes again every time."

Izuku was surprised at the man's commitment to his students. He thought he was being forced to take care of him. But now that he knows that Aizawa wants to he feels less guilty than before.

"Thank y-you." Izuku said softly.

"Anytime." Was Aizawa's short reply.

A few hours later Izuku was examined by Recovery Girl one last time. He was told he was free to go and that the soreness in his chest was to be expected, due to the newly healed rib bones.

Izuku now laid in bed trying to fall asleep. He thought about how the rest of the day went. Once he had returned to Aizawa's apartment he was slightly worried that the man was going to try and drag him on another shopping trip. He was greatly amused when Aizawa pulled out a laptop and suggested they just online shop instead.

In a few hours' time, Izuku had a full week's worth of outfits and decorations for his room ordered and shipped. Izuku would be lying if he said he wasn't excited about the incoming items. He let out a content sigh. Izuku was afraid to say it out loud, but he felt happy. The happiest he has been since his mom.

You don't deserve it.

"Shut up" He said to himself.

You don't deserve it.

"I said, shut up. Stupid brain."

You don't deserve it.

"Shut up." Izuku said one last time.

…

Izuku let out a big grin at the silence he grabbed Mr. Gooey in victory and hugged it. Izuku noticed that the blob felt strange in his embrace. He brought the blob back to his view and was surprised to see that it was giggling oddly. Izuku stared at it with confusion, this has never happened before.

He shrugged, it was probably nothing. He can't be expected to learn all of his quirk's secrets. He placed the giggling blob on the wall beside his bed and commanded it to stay. Izuku shut his eyes and drifted to sleep, ready for tomorrow's school day.