Dangers of Dwarf Maidens
disclaimer: I don't own any of this, it all belongs to Tolkien or his estate or whatever. I'm not making any money from this, it's justs for fun, so please don't sue me, I'm just a poor college student, and worth absolutely nothing anyways.
A/N: Wow, this took me a really long time to get out! Blame it on classes sapping all my creative energy. I'm so sorry it took so long, and here's a link to the first two chappies on ff.net if you wish to re-read them, or missed them the first time.
Ok, enough blah-blah, on with the fic!
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
Elladan blinked against the brilliant corona of light that surrounded the golden-haired figure grinning down at them.
"Legolas."
"Indeed mellon nin. What have you two gotten yourselves into?"
Elladan squirmed uncomfortably on the itchy bed of poison ivy, "Can you please ask questions later? This is really itchy."
Legolas bit back a bark of laughter, and pulled out his daggers.
The razor sharp elven blades quickly sliced through the heavy rope binding the twins to the ground.
Elladan rolled to his feet, and immediately began scratching like an elf possessed.
"Stop scratching Elladan, you'll make it worse!" Elrohir looked at his twin disapprovingly, as he rubbed his sore wrists.
"I don't care, you can't imagine how badly I itch right now!"
Legolas smiled sympathetically, but took a step away from the twins. "Le ul sui i'firen!" [You smell like a human]
Elladan paused long enough in his scratching to roll his eyes at the prince. "Mib orch." [kiss {an}orc]
The prince tried not to be too offended by his companions grumpiness; after all, if he had spent three days tied to the ground, he wouldn't be terribly cheery either.
"So, how did you two wind up like this?"
The twins exchanged a look, then gave him identical shrugs.
"Elladan, if we put some mud on this rash, it will ease the itching until Ada can fix you up." Elrohir looked strangely excited at the prospect of coating his twin in mud.
Elladan, on the other hand, looked less than thrilled. Then again, being covered in a red itchy rash was no fun either, and the cool mud would be soothing. "Fine. Do it."
Elrohir grinned impishly at Legolas, and the pair proceeded to smear mud all over Elladan's bare chest and back. When they got to his face, he twisted his head away, and tried to resist, but Elrohir would not be detered.
Soon, Elladan was covered in mud from the waist up, and found himself rather grateful that the dwarf maidens didn't take his trousers as well.
Elrohir snorted with laughter at his twin, and was forced to sit down on a nearby stump. Unfortunately, he didn't look where he was sitting, and sat down directly on a porcupine.
"EEEYOW!!!!"
He leapt up, grabbing at his wounded rear, and hopping around like a crazed rabbit.
Elladan and Legolas watched his strange dance with wide eyes, and bemused expressions. "Are you alright, brother?"
Elrohir glared at his twin, "Do I LOOK alright?"
Legolas snorted, "What happened?"
"I don't know, I sat on something sharp!! It HURTS!" He turned around several times, trying to look at his wounded butt.
Despite his own discomfort, Elladan roared with laughter. "Brother, you look like a dog chasing it's tail!"
"Im innas acharn nin dan le an sen!" I will {get} my vengeance against you for this! Elrohir stopped spinning long enough to shoot another evil glare at his twin.
"What did I do? Come here, let me see."
Elrohir muttered something under his breath, but turned around, and lowered his trousers carefully, allowing his twin to get a good look at the wound. Or wounds.
"Valar, Elrohir! You sat on a porcupine!"
Legolas leaned against a tree, and laughed helplessly as Elladan began yanking porcupine quills out of his brother's rear.
Elrohir, for his part, endured the humiliation silently. He only occasionally grunted in pain when Elladan had to yank a little too hard to pull out the quills.
It took a good half hour, but eventually Elladan got them all, and Elrohir pulled his trousers back up.
"Finally. Come, let us get you two back to the palace."
~*~
Aragorn lay on his side, laughing helplessly. "You sat on a PORCUPINE?!"
Elrohir sat silently across from Legolas, giving the golden-haired prince dark looks.
Elladan covered his mouth, trying not to laugh out loud. "You DID look pretty funny, 'Ro. Like a dog chasing it's *snort* tail."
Elrohir included his twin in the glare, and set his jaw firmly. A look all knew from experience that that look meant certain trouble.
Aragorn giggled, "What happened next, Legolas?"
Legolas grinned, "well..."
~*~
Elladan and Elrohir balked as they reached the gates of Eryn Lasgalen. "Uhm, are there a lot of people around, mellon nin?"
Legolas rolled his eyes, "So NOW I'm your friend? And yes, there are a lot of people around, we've been organizing search parties for you two all night."
The Twins exchanged guilty looks, and sighed. "Nana has probably been worried about us, too." Elladan lowered his mud-covered head.
"Indeed she has. I'm told your mother has not slept since she found out you were missing 2 days ago."
The twins heads hung even lower, if possible, then they stepped forward through the gates. Legolas followed behind, snickering silently, as every elf in Mirkwood turned and stared at the Sons of Elrond.
One was covered in mud from the waist up, the other was walking strangely, as though there were something wrong with his rear-end.
"Elladan, Elrohir!"
A golden-haired maiden ran out of the palace, and enfolded them in her arms, ignoring the mud and filth they smeared on her fine gown as they buried their faces in her shoulders.
Not far behind her was a second maiden, with hair dark as night, and she hugged them as fiercely as the first.
Finally, a tall, imposing elf wrapped his arms around the pair, then stepped back to regard them carefully. As he took in his mud-covered eldest, he raised one elegant eyebrow. Then he took in the younger twin. "Elrohir, why are you standing like that?"
Legolas snickered as he walked up, "He sat on a porcupine, Lord Elrond."
Arwen slapped her hand over her mouth, and seemed to be struck with a sudden fit of coughing.
Celebrian brushed a strand of hair out of his face, and clucked her tongue, "My poor sons, come in, let us get you two cleaned up."
Elrond followed behind, the corners of his mouth twitching suspiciously.
Arwen looked at Legolas, "How did you find them?"
Legolas grinned impishly, "Are you in the mood for a funny story?"
~*~
"You told Arwen?!" Elladan looked indignant.
Elrohir rolled his eyes, "Well, we knew someone did, brother. She has held this over our heads for years!"
Aragorn was still roaring with laughter when he was struck with a fit of coughing.
Legolas reached over, and patted him on the shoulder, "Are you alright, mellon nin?"
Aragorn took a moment to catch his breath, "I'm fine."
Elrohir leaned over, and placed a hand on the Ranger's forehead, "No you're not, you're burning up! Come on, let's get packed up so he can get home to Ada."
Aragorn groaned at the prospect of going home, Lord Elrond was certain to make him stay in bed for days, and force foul concoctions down his throat, all in the name of his health.
Elladan seemed to read his youngest brothers mind. "Cheer up, little brother, we weren't the only ones to end up in a scrape on that visit. Shall I tell you of what happened when Legolas knocked Thranduil into an enchanted river?"
The End.
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
Well, this is finished, and I'm going back to working on Lost again, I'll hopefully be able to post a new chappie of it tomorrow or the next day.
So what do you guys think of this fic? REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! :lol!
~*~
More A/N:
Pennsuleien: Well, I didn't really want to touch them, being as they're muddy and smelly and covered in poison ivy... but I had Celebrian, Arwen and Elrond hug them instead, lol. Thanks for the many reviews!
Hex of the Unseelie: Here's the new chappie, I hope you liked it. This fic is now finished, but I hope you'll read my fic that is currently in the works, Lost. Thanks for the kind words!
XOXO
Cor
disclaimer: I don't own any of this, it all belongs to Tolkien or his estate or whatever. I'm not making any money from this, it's justs for fun, so please don't sue me, I'm just a poor college student, and worth absolutely nothing anyways.
A/N: Wow, this took me a really long time to get out! Blame it on classes sapping all my creative energy. I'm so sorry it took so long, and here's a link to the first two chappies on ff.net if you wish to re-read them, or missed them the first time.
Ok, enough blah-blah, on with the fic!
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
Elladan blinked against the brilliant corona of light that surrounded the golden-haired figure grinning down at them.
"Legolas."
"Indeed mellon nin. What have you two gotten yourselves into?"
Elladan squirmed uncomfortably on the itchy bed of poison ivy, "Can you please ask questions later? This is really itchy."
Legolas bit back a bark of laughter, and pulled out his daggers.
The razor sharp elven blades quickly sliced through the heavy rope binding the twins to the ground.
Elladan rolled to his feet, and immediately began scratching like an elf possessed.
"Stop scratching Elladan, you'll make it worse!" Elrohir looked at his twin disapprovingly, as he rubbed his sore wrists.
"I don't care, you can't imagine how badly I itch right now!"
Legolas smiled sympathetically, but took a step away from the twins. "Le ul sui i'firen!" [You smell like a human]
Elladan paused long enough in his scratching to roll his eyes at the prince. "Mib orch." [kiss {an}orc]
The prince tried not to be too offended by his companions grumpiness; after all, if he had spent three days tied to the ground, he wouldn't be terribly cheery either.
"So, how did you two wind up like this?"
The twins exchanged a look, then gave him identical shrugs.
"Elladan, if we put some mud on this rash, it will ease the itching until Ada can fix you up." Elrohir looked strangely excited at the prospect of coating his twin in mud.
Elladan, on the other hand, looked less than thrilled. Then again, being covered in a red itchy rash was no fun either, and the cool mud would be soothing. "Fine. Do it."
Elrohir grinned impishly at Legolas, and the pair proceeded to smear mud all over Elladan's bare chest and back. When they got to his face, he twisted his head away, and tried to resist, but Elrohir would not be detered.
Soon, Elladan was covered in mud from the waist up, and found himself rather grateful that the dwarf maidens didn't take his trousers as well.
Elrohir snorted with laughter at his twin, and was forced to sit down on a nearby stump. Unfortunately, he didn't look where he was sitting, and sat down directly on a porcupine.
"EEEYOW!!!!"
He leapt up, grabbing at his wounded rear, and hopping around like a crazed rabbit.
Elladan and Legolas watched his strange dance with wide eyes, and bemused expressions. "Are you alright, brother?"
Elrohir glared at his twin, "Do I LOOK alright?"
Legolas snorted, "What happened?"
"I don't know, I sat on something sharp!! It HURTS!" He turned around several times, trying to look at his wounded butt.
Despite his own discomfort, Elladan roared with laughter. "Brother, you look like a dog chasing it's tail!"
"Im innas acharn nin dan le an sen!" I will {get} my vengeance against you for this! Elrohir stopped spinning long enough to shoot another evil glare at his twin.
"What did I do? Come here, let me see."
Elrohir muttered something under his breath, but turned around, and lowered his trousers carefully, allowing his twin to get a good look at the wound. Or wounds.
"Valar, Elrohir! You sat on a porcupine!"
Legolas leaned against a tree, and laughed helplessly as Elladan began yanking porcupine quills out of his brother's rear.
Elrohir, for his part, endured the humiliation silently. He only occasionally grunted in pain when Elladan had to yank a little too hard to pull out the quills.
It took a good half hour, but eventually Elladan got them all, and Elrohir pulled his trousers back up.
"Finally. Come, let us get you two back to the palace."
~*~
Aragorn lay on his side, laughing helplessly. "You sat on a PORCUPINE?!"
Elrohir sat silently across from Legolas, giving the golden-haired prince dark looks.
Elladan covered his mouth, trying not to laugh out loud. "You DID look pretty funny, 'Ro. Like a dog chasing it's *snort* tail."
Elrohir included his twin in the glare, and set his jaw firmly. A look all knew from experience that that look meant certain trouble.
Aragorn giggled, "What happened next, Legolas?"
Legolas grinned, "well..."
~*~
Elladan and Elrohir balked as they reached the gates of Eryn Lasgalen. "Uhm, are there a lot of people around, mellon nin?"
Legolas rolled his eyes, "So NOW I'm your friend? And yes, there are a lot of people around, we've been organizing search parties for you two all night."
The Twins exchanged guilty looks, and sighed. "Nana has probably been worried about us, too." Elladan lowered his mud-covered head.
"Indeed she has. I'm told your mother has not slept since she found out you were missing 2 days ago."
The twins heads hung even lower, if possible, then they stepped forward through the gates. Legolas followed behind, snickering silently, as every elf in Mirkwood turned and stared at the Sons of Elrond.
One was covered in mud from the waist up, the other was walking strangely, as though there were something wrong with his rear-end.
"Elladan, Elrohir!"
A golden-haired maiden ran out of the palace, and enfolded them in her arms, ignoring the mud and filth they smeared on her fine gown as they buried their faces in her shoulders.
Not far behind her was a second maiden, with hair dark as night, and she hugged them as fiercely as the first.
Finally, a tall, imposing elf wrapped his arms around the pair, then stepped back to regard them carefully. As he took in his mud-covered eldest, he raised one elegant eyebrow. Then he took in the younger twin. "Elrohir, why are you standing like that?"
Legolas snickered as he walked up, "He sat on a porcupine, Lord Elrond."
Arwen slapped her hand over her mouth, and seemed to be struck with a sudden fit of coughing.
Celebrian brushed a strand of hair out of his face, and clucked her tongue, "My poor sons, come in, let us get you two cleaned up."
Elrond followed behind, the corners of his mouth twitching suspiciously.
Arwen looked at Legolas, "How did you find them?"
Legolas grinned impishly, "Are you in the mood for a funny story?"
~*~
"You told Arwen?!" Elladan looked indignant.
Elrohir rolled his eyes, "Well, we knew someone did, brother. She has held this over our heads for years!"
Aragorn was still roaring with laughter when he was struck with a fit of coughing.
Legolas reached over, and patted him on the shoulder, "Are you alright, mellon nin?"
Aragorn took a moment to catch his breath, "I'm fine."
Elrohir leaned over, and placed a hand on the Ranger's forehead, "No you're not, you're burning up! Come on, let's get packed up so he can get home to Ada."
Aragorn groaned at the prospect of going home, Lord Elrond was certain to make him stay in bed for days, and force foul concoctions down his throat, all in the name of his health.
Elladan seemed to read his youngest brothers mind. "Cheer up, little brother, we weren't the only ones to end up in a scrape on that visit. Shall I tell you of what happened when Legolas knocked Thranduil into an enchanted river?"
The End.
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
Well, this is finished, and I'm going back to working on Lost again, I'll hopefully be able to post a new chappie of it tomorrow or the next day.
So what do you guys think of this fic? REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! :lol!
~*~
More A/N:
Pennsuleien: Well, I didn't really want to touch them, being as they're muddy and smelly and covered in poison ivy... but I had Celebrian, Arwen and Elrond hug them instead, lol. Thanks for the many reviews!
Hex of the Unseelie: Here's the new chappie, I hope you liked it. This fic is now finished, but I hope you'll read my fic that is currently in the works, Lost. Thanks for the kind words!
XOXO
Cor