Author note: I have been debating changing the name of this story. At the time I felt like it was title that would work but now it doesn't feel like it fits. My options for new names are the following listed below.

Undisclosed Desires

Unsteady

Unintended

Sao Paulo. Her current mission has brought her here. To this hospital where she stood in a dimly lit locker room pulling on a set of gray scrubs. Pulling her hair up into a messy bun, she clipped her name badge onto her scrub top. She was posing as a nurse to get close to her target Benedict Birch. Birch posed a threat to the KGB she was told. He was the current leader of a gang out of London that was planning something big aimed at her employers. Her job was to take him so his gang would crumble and fall apart. He was a self made man and trusted no one enough to be let in on important business details or plans so take him out and they didn't stand a chance without him. Apparently he was here in Sao Paulo to meet with an arms dealer. His car was caught up in an accident and now he was here. 50 feet away from her on this hospital unit for cracked ribs and a potential pulmonary embolism. Her name today was Ana Silva and she was a travel nurse. Today was her first day and she studied enough resources to educate her on basic nursing things.

Once fully dressed she stepped out of the locker room and into the brightly lit hallway. She walked through the double doors into the chaos that was nursing. The rooms were decent sized and had glass sliding doors with curtains that could be drawn for more privacy. The nursing station was situated right in the center of it all and it was busy with phones ringing and nurses running around looking for charts or meds their patients were pestering them for. Natalia walked up to the counter and pulled the chart of Birch and skimmed over it. His meds were going to be due soon and it looks like he was getting Norco for the pain and a heparin shot for the blood clot they had found in his leg. Easy enough. She put the chart back down and walked towards the med room where she scanned her badge to gain entry. She carefully pulled the right drugs and doses needed for her patient. It would be easy to overdose him and that was what her bosses advised against. They wanted him killed and confirmed dead. Looking at Natalia you would never know the amount of weapons she had hidden on her person. A knife strapped to her ankle, a gun strapped to the other, a scalpel tucked away in her scrub pocket. A pair of surgical scissors tucked away in her pant pocket.

Once she had her meds she made her way out of the med room and towards the room where two rather in shape men stood dressed in business casual attire. She smiled at them and held up the meds to show them her reason for coming over. One of the men stepped aside and pulled the sliding door open for her. Birch was listed as a completely private patient. No visitors and no unauthorized personnel permitted in his room. As she entered the room, she noted he was sleeping still. She eyed him carefully as she set the meds on the counter by the sink. She had to be careful about how she executed her plan. He had to men stationed outside and she didn't put it pass him to not have more on stand by somewhere. She was instructed to do this task by any means. casualties or no casualties. She mentally took note of the oxygen source on the wall. The manual blood pressure cuff hanging as well. The IV tubing was rather long and she could strangle him with that. No. It would snap too easily and strangling would take too much time.

"Mr. Birch, good morning." She said loud enough to wake up him. "I have your Norco and heparin shot for you." She informed him. He just nodded at her and yawned. He was at least in his later forties with dark hair and was actually rather attractive.

"What's the heparin for again?" He asked once he was done yawning. She brought him the pain pill and had the syringe in the other hand. He took the pill and grabbed the water off his side table to was it down.

"The heparin is a blood thinner to help with that blood clot they found in your leg. We don't want it to travel." She explained. "It's a small injection that goes into your belly."

"Well, lets get it over with then." He sighed and lifted his hospital gown up and exposed his stomach to her. He was quite fit for his age. Natalia drew an alcohol swab from her pocket and opened it to clean the site.

"Just a quick pinch, okay?" She smiled politely. His eyes met hers and she felt them linger on her as she looked down and pinched a little fat and injected the medication. She pulled the needle out and turned to dispose of the needle in the sharps box on the wall. She could feel his eyes looking her over.

"Now don't take offense to this, but you are probably the only person around here I have seen pull of those scrubs." He complimented. Natalia turned around and pretended to be flattered by his words.

"Thanks, I do yoga." She pulled her stethoscope from around her neck. "I just gotta take a quick listen to your lungs." She came to the side of the bed and unbuttoned the top of his gown to listen to his chest. "Sounds good, now your back." He leaned forward for her as she pressed the stethoscope to him to listen. She was debating the best way to do this. She didn't want to waste any time. "Okay, just going to feel your lymph nodes."

She was in front of him leaning forward to feel his lymph nodes, she could feel his eyes on her chest which was annoying to say the least. Men were too easily distracted. She placed he hands in the position she needed them to be. "Hmm."

"What is it?" He inquired curiously.

"Oh, its just your neck seems really tense. Like something is straining." She lied. "Why don't you let me massage it, it will feel a lot better. You probably strained something in the accident."

"Sure, that would be great." He agreed almost too eagerly. She mentally rolled her eyes. "You could do a little more if you want." He winked at her.

"Now Mr. Birch, behave yourself." She giggled in a flirty way. She pretended to massage his neck as he moaned slightly at her touch. She tried to ignore his growing excitement in his lap. Disgusting. Once her hands were in the right position that was it. One quick jerk. Snap. Target hit. She leaned him back in the bed and tucked the covers back over him so it didn't look obvious immediately. She walked out quickly and swiftly from the room and smiled at the guards at the door. Much to her dismay, they entered the room as she left. She tried to keep a calm composure but she knew it would end in a fight. It always ends in a fight. She bent down to pretend to tie her shoe.

"Hey! Grab that nurse!" She heard one of the guards yell. Here we go. She stood quickly as staff began to react to the commotion. She had pulled the knife from its hiding spot on her ankle and threw it, hitting the one guard square in the chest. The second man came from the room and slid the door and curtain open wide demanding them to save his boss. He pulled a gun as he saw his colleague slump to the ground. Natalia took cover behind the nurse's station as he fired some shots in her direction. Chaos ensued and she could hear a page overhead asking security to come to the unit she was on stat. People were screaming and seeking cover. Nurses were pulling other patient rooms door closed and some hid with the patients. She stood quickly and fired a shot at the guard and rolled over the counter to put more distance between them. She heard two more shots be fired as she sprung back to her feet and ran towards the double doors. Natalia turned back and with a clear path ahead fired one single shot at the wall in Birch's room hitting the oxygen source on the wall. A small explosion occurred as she booked it down the nearest stairwell. She could hear fire alarms start going off as the over head speaker warned of a red alert.

Racing down the stairs she finally found the stairs infiltrated by other people running to safety. She blended in perfectly. As soon as she reached ground level she pushed pass the crowd to get outside. People were everywhere and fire trucks were pulling up in front of the building. She noticed the valet attendant was distracted by the scene at hand she slyly jumped into the car he left running. Driving away she heard a loud boom. In the rearview mirror she could see blown out windows with flames bursting out. She kept driving. Her safe house wasn't too far away and she needed to let her bosses know the mission was completed.

Natalia arrived back her apartment around 2 am and felt exhausted form her travels. 80 people had perished in the fire and it was making news. Luckily for her, anyone who could place her at the scene were taken care of by the fire. No witnesses to identify her. She dropped her bag at the door as she came in and instantly went for the shower. Airplanes made her feel gross every time. She turned the knobs and began running the hot water and evened it out with some cold water. Undressing and letting her hair down from the bun she left it in and stepping into the shower. She must have stood there for thirty minutes just taking in the heat. It felt good over limbs, she felt so cramped on the plane ride home.

After drying off and going through her night routine, it was roughly 3 am and she just laid in bed unable to sleep. She felt hot for unknow reasons even though she wore an oversized t-shirt and just underwear. Her next mission wouldn't be for a few more days and she was thinking about how to spend her few days off. She liked to keep busy. She had a skill set and she liked to use it. They had wasted no time sending her out on her own to do their work. Her first mission was posing as a dancer at a strip club. She had to get close to a CEO and his buddies and to collect intel on major plans involving an underground drug ring. Half of the time she didn't concern herself with why the KGB needed the information they needed. She just did as she was told and asked no questions. It was better that way. It had been quite the few months with these missions and she proved to them all that she was more than a pretty face. She was a pretty face that could draw her prey in and kill them without them even knowing it was on her agenda.

Her mind went back to a senator she was sent out to kill. She made it look like an accident like she was supposed to. She met him at a gala, her cover was that she was a young socialite. Daughter of a millionaire that liked to send her in his place to events he couldn't make. The senator of course thought she was just a young and dumb pretty girl. She let him believe that. So when he offered to come to his place for drinks she accepted. She let him believe that she was interested in an older man like him and his dated views on the world. When it came time to do the deed with him, the drug she placed in his drink when he wasn't looking took effect. The medical examiner said it was a heart attack. It wasn't but they didn't need to know that. The undressed him and placed a drugged up prostitute in his bed. She of course would have no recollection of how she got their and that was the idea.

Their were one or two missions where she had to go further than she ideally wanted to with her targets. Sleeping with them was part of the job sometimes to gain a trust in order to finish out the plan. She tried not to think about it. James never asked her about it either. She was enhanced on purpose so they could utilize her as long as they could. Sometimes it made her feel dirty though, but she just pushed those thoughts out of her head and tried to think about her nights with James.

James.

Lately it had been hard to think about him. He was becoming more and more resistant to the memory wiping. There was talk of throwing him back in cryo. She couldn't let that happen to him. If they were found out they would be killed. Feelings like what they had for each other wasn't allowed nor was it supposed to be possible. It was supposed to be conditioned out of her. No attachments to anyone or anything. Maybe I should end this. She often thought. She loved him but she couldn't risk his life for childish and selfish things. She sighed and rubbed her face. A knock at her window pulled her from her thoughts and within seconds she was on her feet, gun drawn and pointed at the window.

A wave of relief came over her as she saw the silver hand in the moonlight. She set the gun down and walked over to the window to let James in. He was dressed in jeans and a hooded jacket and baseball cap. He climbed through the window and stood before her, he removed his hood and hat and embraced her. She returned the embrace before stepping back and folding her arms over her chest.

"What are you doing here?" She whispered. "I thought you were supposed to be in Germany."

"Well things moved a little quicker than expected." He explained and pressed a kiss to her cheek. Whenever he kissed her cheek or her forehead it always gave her this warm feeling. She kept her arms folded across her chest and it didn't go unnoticed by him. "What is it?"

She could feel his blue eyes on her as she looked down at the ground. "I heard you have been more combative lately when it comes to...you know."

"Well you would be too if you went through it too." He defended. She looked up at him and chewed her lip. Debating if she should say what's on her mind. "Just say it Natalia."

"Maybe we should end this." She said flatly. Silence. Neither one made a move or said a word for what felt like hours.

"What do you mean?" He asked, furrowing his brow in disbelief.

"I mean that maybe we should stop what we are doing." She explained. "I'm going to be the death of you if they find out and I have a feeling they will."

"Natalia, they would never find out. They wipe my memory so often that if it weren't for you I wouldn't even remember some of the things we've shared together." He wasn't taking her seriously. It irritated her.

"James, this is a dangerous game we're playing." She tried to reason with him. "They would kill us and I love you too much to be the death of you."

He cupped her cheek in his hand, she wasn't aware a tear had fallen from her eye until she felt his thumb wiped it away. She looked into his blue eyes and felt pang of pain in her heart. She wanted him more than anything, the only thing she would protect with her life was him. "Talia, I love you. I have always loved you and I will love you even if I can't remember you."

"It's not that I want to do this..." She tried to explain but her throat felt tight. "I would rather love each other from a distance than love you without you on this Earth."

He nodded and pulled her into him. She felt tears stream down her face as she buried her face into his chest. Her arms were wrapped around him so tight she knew they would be sore tomorrow.

"I'll do this for you. But just know that you can't smother these feelings Natalia. This isn't something you can push underground and stop from screaming out." He said as he ran a hand through her hair.

"Our time is running out James, we don't have a choice." She cried. "One day, something will slip and that will be the end of you or me or both of us."

He pulled away just enough to look down at her. His eyes had a saddened look she had never seen before. It killed her to do this but she needed him in this world alive. She reached up and brought him down into a long kiss. She could feel his hand on the back of her neck as his other hand wrapped around her waist. She could live in this kiss forever she thought as she wrapped her arms around his neck. That was the only indication they needed to know this kiss wasn't going to just be a kiss. Natalia pulled him down onto the bed on top of her and he followed effortlessly. He never broke their kiss as he kicked off his shoes and shed his jacket. She pulled off his shirt and started working on unbuttoning his pants. They became a mess of limbs. His hands were running over her body undressing her as she did the same to him. She scooted up towards the top of the bed and he followed her up kissing a trail up her body and eventually made his back to her lips. He placed himself between her legs and before she knew it he was inside of her. They fit together like tow puzzle pieces meant to be put together. She pulled him close as he thrusted into her slow and steady, making every moment last.

Natalia rolled them over so she was on top of him straddling his lap. James sat himself up so he could kiss her more as she rode him. They embraced as she rocked against him. She never wanted to leave his arms. His lips moved to her neck as he teased kisses down it and across her collar bone, Goosebumps ran up and down her body as he moved his mouth to her breast and took her nipple in mouth flicking it softly with his tongue and teasing it with his teeth. Her hips began to buck against him harder and faster as the sensation she was feeling grew more intense. James grabbed onto her tightly as he did the same as she started to cry out. As she fell over the edge he did shortly after. She slumped against him and he held her, rubbing her back as he hummed a tune that had to be older. She felt him press a kiss to her temple as she fell asleep.

When she awoke it was almost noon and the sun was peering into her window. She sat up as the covers that were draped across her fell down. She looked around her apartment and realized she was alone. In more ways than just one. She brought her knees up to her chest and let herself cry. It was for the best she kept reminding herself. It was for the best.