A/N: Hi guys! This took me a while to complete this story but I'm glad to write something about my favourite characters in Bleach. This takes place during the last arc of the manga, the Thousand Year Blood War. I tried to stick to the events in the manga and they might be a little OOC. Also, there will be a scene with very mild yaoi and it would be my first time writing it. You have been warned. I hope you all enjoy it :)

I don't own Bleach and all the canon characters. They belong to Tite Kubo.

A cool breeze filled the silent air and the natural light, illuminated by the full moon, brought out the trees and the lake surrounding the small house that belonged to the thirteenth captain. My tired grey eyes glanced at the house with a bridge attached to it and spotted a flash of white outside. Sighing, my broad shoulders relaxed a bit as I walked closer towards the bridge to see a silky white hair flapping along the direction of the wind. A small smile stretched on my tanned face at the pale yet beautiful sight.

"Are you enjoying the view?" a tired and gentle voice broke my train of thoughts as I continued to glance at the white-haired captain.

"It depends on what view you meant?" I replied in the usual casual tone, walking towards him. A low chuckle escaped from his mouth.

"You never change," the green-eyed man said but doesn't turn to look at me, "...and I'm grateful for that."

That last part made me paused my tracks and raise an eyebrow quizzically but I soon realize what he meant. We've had a difficult time after the first invasion of the Quincies and the loss of both Old man Yama and Unohana. Jushiro and I have barely seen each other due to fulfilling our duties and preparing the soldiers for another invasion. Guilt surged through my whole being and twisted in my chest uncomfortably at the memory. Maybe its because I still blame myself for the outcome which was inevitable. It wasn't my choice to become the Head Captain. I knew that's how it was supposed to be, but...

"You know me, Juu. I can never change the way I am," I reassured him as I sat down beside him. My legs hang slightly above the water while the black fabric brushed against the light blue yukata which covered Jushiro's slender legs. He adjusted his sleeping yukata more tightly on his chest while heaving a tired sigh. Narrowing my eye, I notice that his mind was somewhere else as he stared at the view. We sat in silence for a long time while watching the koi fish swimming leisurely in the lake. The bright moon was reflected on the ripples of the lake. The air was crisp enough to blow away a little tension forming between us.

"We both knew very well that it was inevitable," a soft voice broke the silence, "...no one's blaming you for what happened to them. We couldn't stop it from happening."

I brought my sakkat low enough to cover my visible eye while heaving a heavy sigh. Something was amiss, I could feel it in my bones that Jushiro is not acting himself.

"I know there was nothing we could do but if I had not suggested that to Central 46, she would still be here..." I said bitterly as my hand clenched tightly at the thought of my decision.

"And you are well aware of the fact that she would have faced him sooner than later in the way..." he paused gathering his thoughts as he slightly tightened his grip on his lap, "...the way it was meant to be. She would have been proud to pass down her title to Zaraki."

My shadowed grey eye continued to stare at the ripples of the water as I listened to my lover's words, "Hence, her honour was fulfilled."

"But sometimes I still wonder whether I've done the right thing," I released a tired sigh while massaging my temple with both my index and middle fingers, " I feel like everything's happen so fast and sudden that I..." Jushiro did not look at me but asked, " That you what?"

"That I...fear that... I might... lose everyone I l-love," my voice quavered at the last part but the thing that stunned me the most was my best friend's statement.

"I see," was all he said. Those two simple words were spoken without an ounce of sympathy, comfort and especially love. In fact, they were filled with an uncharacteristic bitterness like ice piercing through my heart. Speechless, stunned, perplexed and rejected. A wave of mixed feelings filled my whole being which dissolved into anger.

"Don't you understand, Jushiro! I'm afraid of losing you because I love you!" I cried, feeling hot tears stinging my single eye, "...and now that I think about it, we've never once made eye contact when I arrived."

Jushiro turned his head more letting his white bangs fall on his face. Suddenly, the air became so suffocating that I found it difficult to breathe. On top of that, I couldn't comprehend what was going on now with many thoughts racing through my mind and a lump in my throat. Fresh and salty tears started to flow down on my tanned cheeks into my beard. Devastated, my hairy hands grabbed his shoulders and shook him, hoping that I could find answers, "Goddammit, Jushiro Ukitake! Will you look at me and tell me that you don't love me!"

No sooner had the words left my mouth than I felt a sting on my right cheek and let my hands fall off his slender shoulders. Subconsciously, I placed my hand on the throbbing area and continued to stare at the glassy, green eyes which were filled with tears sliding down his pale face.

I don't know what came over me but the feeling of fury mixed with this overwhelming depression washed over my body which made it move without my consent. In the heat of the moment, my body twisted in Shunsui's direction as I raised my hand to his cheek. The sound echoed in the silence between us and the tension grew worse by every second. Staring at each other, I breathed heavily, my body trembled and fresh tears continued to flow down on my pale face. The anger I felt before eventually melted into sorrow the more I glanced at the handsome but shocked flamboyant captain. My hand still hangs on my side, slightly throbbing due to the impact earlier.

"How dare you..." my voice cracked as more tears rolled down my cheeks, "How dare you say that I don't love you, Shunsui? I thought you knew me better than that...but...I guess I was wrong."

As the shell-shocked flamboyant captain continued to stare at me like I have two heads, I raised myself and promptly walked back to my Ugendo. I ignored his calls as I continued to walk even though I felt like my frail body could collapse at any moment. As soon as I reached inside, I leaned against the wall on either side of the entrance and slid down to place my weight on my bottom. I brought my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them and started sobbing. My body trembled with every sob I made as I felt hot fresh tears soaking my light blue yukata on my lap.

Why couldn't he understand? Why could he understand that this is the best for both of us? Thoughts were racing through my mind as I remained in the current position. Hardly had I heard someone coming in when I felt strong arms wrap around me in an embrace. I looked up and stared at a dark grey eye filled with so much sorrow and regret that it made my heart ache. I could clearly see his brown hair since his sakkat was missing.

"Jushiro..." the pink-clad man started, "What's going on with you? Why did you leave like that? You only do that when there is something on your mind."

I bit my lower lip, not knowing what to say to him. Seeing the suffering look on his face made my heart twinge with slight guilt and my stomach coil inside uncomfortably. I placed my head back on my arms and said softly, "You should leave."

"No, Jushiro! I will not leave until you give me a reason why you are acting like this," Shunsui persisted, "We've never been this distant with each other!"

"Shunsui, please. Don't make things harder-" I tried to plead.

"You're the one making things harder, Jushiro!" the flamboyant captain interjected, "Tell me why have you been avoiding me!"

"We should not be together," I answered quietly. No sooner had those words left my mouth than it felt like everything had stopped moving. The hairy arms fell off from me which made my heart pound faster.

"Why?" he asked quietly. Confusion, pain and sadness were spoken in his tone which made me feel remorse. I lifted my head and sat straight in order to glance at his face. His expression made my heart wrench in pain as I saw the look of utter depression and rejection.

"It's not your fault. No one's to blame for anything," I bit my lip, gathering my thoughts on what to say next, " ...i-it's just that nowadays, we've been extremely busy preparing for the upcoming war so we barely see each other. Since your promotion to head captain, I started to think about something..." Shunsui listened tentatively from where he was seated and remained silent.

"I thought about how you are supposed to focus on everyone in the thirteen court guard squad in Yamamoto's place, not just your own squad and...me" I hesitated at the last part, licking my lips, "Long story short, I cannot be selfish."

The brunette's eye widened with surprise, "How in the world are you selfish?"

"There are moments where I wanted you all to myself and that usually happens whenever you womanize other women," Shunsui flinched at the emphasis as I turned to stare down at the ground, " I would get jealous and wished to have all your attention to myself and nobody else. I'm afraid of losing you because I love you."

"Damn, Ju. I never expected you to feel that way, "the eyepatched brunette spoke after a few moments of silence, "...you should have told me earlier. I would have dropped everything and everyone just to be with you. You will never lose me, ever. After all, I can also be very selfish since I want you all to myself too."

I snorted at his last statement, "Oh really?"

He arched an eyebrow at me, "I see that you don't believe me. Have I ever made you doubt me?"

My face twisted to Shunsui's direction, letting my white bangs fall freely on the side of my face, "When have you never lied to me?" I retorted, giving him a sceptical look. He crawled to my left side and our faces were so close that we could feel our warm breaths hitting our faces.

"Well, then let me convince you," he whispered in my ear which brought shivers down my spine. Before I said anything, the brunette leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine.

The thirteenth captain closed his green eyes enjoying the warmth of the first captain's lips. Shunsui cupped his hairy hand on his lover's flushed right cheek. The kiss was sweet and chaste until it got heated. They tasted each other's mouths by sliding their tongues inside and sucked their lips. Jushiro moaned a bit when the other's teeth bit his lower lip and licked the trail of blood coming from the wound. The white-haired captain followed his suit and grabbed a fistful of his chocolate brown hair, deepening the kiss. The brunette groaned and opened the upper part of the white-haired man's yukata as he left a trail of kisses from his mouth to his ear along his neck and collar bone.

They muttered words 'I love you' as they continued to their actions. Jushiro froze when he felt the brunette's hand trailing down from his thigh to his groin and grabbed his hand. Shunsui paused as he raised his head and gave the white-haired man a perplexed look.

"What's wrong, Ju? Weren't you enjoying it?" he questioned the thirteenth captain. In turn, he gave his lover a sheepish look and smile, "Yes, I was...but as I said before, we can't continue like this."

Shunsui heaved a disappointed sigh, "...but Jushiro...I want to be with you and not be separated by our ranks. It didn't affect us before."

"Yeah, we had our fun but that was before. This is now Shunsui, " he cupped the other's hairy cheek and gave him a sweet smile, "Believe me when I say this, Shun. I also want to spend the rest of my life with you but it would be better for us to not be together at this time. I don't want to hurt you if I'm gone."

Shunsui leaned into his touch and placed his hand on top of Jushiro's, "The same thing goes for you too. I do and will always believe you, Ju. I know you won't leave me as long as our hearts are forever connected."

Jushiro's smile stretched wider and wrapped his arms around the brunette's neck into a tight embrace. The brunette wrapped his around his lover's waist and placed his bearded chin on his slender shoulder. They enjoyed holding each other cherishing their warmth and had their last kiss. The two captains parted and stared into each other's eyes with flushes on their faces.

"I most certainly enjoyed that," the brunette mused as the other chuckled, "Me too. I love you, Shunsui."

"I love you too. I'll see you around, Ju," Shunsui finally said and his lover nodded, "Yeah. See you."

The flamboyant captain kissed his cheek and stood up to take his leave. As soon as the captain left, the white-haired captain also stood up from the ground and look at the door the other used to escape with slight sorrow in his green eyes.

"I truly enjoyed my last moments with you as your lover, Shun," he mumbled as he felt hot tears stinging his eyes, "I'll miss you, Shun."

Little did he know that the said captain stood outside and leaned against the wall as he heard his lover's words and quiet sobs. He lowered his sakkat covering his glassy eye.

"I'll miss you too, my lovely Jushiro."

A/N:*sobs* I cried a little bit while writing this piece. Any thoughts? Comments and kudos are always welcome :D