Updates will slow down. Like a lot. A lot is happening with boss at work. So I'll be working more and weird hours to help out because he needs time off. So... yep.

Who I'm Meant to Be
Chapter 5: Coming Home

"You don't UNDERSTAND!" Buck thumped hard on the counter. Much harder and louder than the last time. Anything to get this woman to understand!

The nurse behind said counter stared at him a moment. Her expression feigned boredom and she didn't even flinch at his outburst. "Sir, if you would please have a seat, the doctor will be out to see you in a few minutes."

"But..." Buck tried but was cut off.

"If you continue to cause a disruption in my ER, I will have you removed from the premises."

Maddie walked up behind him. She grabbed his shoulder and pulled him away from the counter. "Buck, yelling at the nurses won't help. That's what got you kicked out of the room."

Buck turned towards Maddie. "But..."

"No, go have a seat!" She hissed lowly to him. "Let me see if I can talk to her."

"But!"

"No! SIT DOWN!"

Buck threw up his arms angrily and practically growled. He turned and stomped over to the line of chairs along the wall, making way more noise than needed. He slunk down in one of the empty chairs and slouched back. He couldn't believe this was happening! How? What had he done wrong to the universe?

Maddie watched him for a moment and let out a sigh. Then she turned and headed back to the desk. "I apologize. He's just a little over emotional. New parent and it's the first time she's been sick."

The ER nurse looked up at Maddie. "Your husband has been extremely disruptive..."

Maddie shook her head immediately. "He's not my husband!" She corrected. "He's my brother."

"Oh... is the... mother here?" The nurse asked slowly in a tone that conveyed sympathy for the fictional woman.

Maddie shook her head again. "There uh... is no mother. He's the foster parent. He's planning on adopting her."

The nurse's eyes softened. "Oh."

Maddie leaned on the counter and let out a soft sigh. " I understand working nights in the ER and how frustrating it can be, getting yelled at and cursed and spat on and a myriad of other horrible things. But I promise, he really didn't mean any harm."

Buck chose that exact moment to jump, quite literally, out of his seat. "Maddie!"

Maddie turned slightly and held up her finger. She pointed at him. "Sit!" She snapped angrily. She felt like they were kids again, and she punishing him for doing something naughty. She could remember the countless times she stuck him in the corner when she babysat him. Buck was a boundless pile of energy.

"Look, I'm sorry." Buck said, keeping his voice soft and level as he walked towards them. Calmly. Oh so calmly. "It's just been a long time and I'm worried."

Maddie sighed as she glanced over her shoulder at him. "It's been about 5 minutes since we got here."

Buck stopped. He blinked and opened his mouth slowly. "Seriously?" He asked in disbelief. Both Maddie and the nurse nodded their heads. "Oh..."

The doctor did indeed come out a couple minutes later. Maddie was chatting up the nurse, sharing war stories of working in the ER. Buck was hanging back, trying to wait patiently. But it was killing him. And the moment he spotted the doctor, he rushed forward. "Is she okay?"

The woman smiled and nodded her head. "She's fine." She said. "It looks like a low-grade infection. Simple and easy to treat. We have her on antibiotics."

Buck breathed out a sigh of relief.

Maddie stepped closer and reached out to squeeze his arm. "See?" She said.

The doctor continued. "We'd like to keep her a couple hours and monitor her, as a precaution."

Buck nodded his head. "But... she's okay?"

The doctor nodded again. "It's pretty common and we caught it before it got bad. You did a good job." She said with a smile. "You can come on back to the pediatric waiting room if you'd like, while I get her admitted. Then you can see her after. I assume you're staying."

Buck and Maddie eagerly followed her through the hospital. They walked past the room where Buck was thrown out not too long ago. He couldn't help getting worked up so much. His little girl was sick. And it didn't seem like the stupid doctors were moving fast enough! They were, of course. They did their jobs. And it was almost one in the morning. Oops. Buck had forgotten that part. But emergencies happen in the middle of the night and doctors really should move faster in the middle of the night. Or... Buck had completely overreacted when he told the doctor, rather loudly, that she was slower than a fucking turtle.

She showed them to the waiting room and left them, with a promise to return and let them know when they could see Chloe. The room was painted in pastel rainbow colors. There were some abstract looking animal designs on the wall. Lots of chairs and a table with children's books piled on it. And in one corner, a bucket of toys. There were three other people in the room. A man, sitting by himself, and a woman with a toddler asleep in her lap. Buck watched the doctor leave and crossed his arms. He let out a sigh and shook his head. Maddie stood beside him. She leaned against his shoulder for a moment, then wrapped her arm across his. "Every kid gets sick, Buck. You didn't do anything wrong." Maddie said softly.

Buck sighed and shook his head. "Two days, Mads. I had her for two days. And she gets sick!"

"Yeah, an infection she could have gotten two days ago, Buck, before you got her. Didn't Kate say they took her to get a check up the day before? Hospitals are breeding grounds for infections." Maddie said with a smile.

Buck rolled his eyes and shook his head. He stepped away from her, heading across the room. He glanced down at the table, laden with books. All bright and colorful. "She just... she was crying so much. All day. I couldn't get her to stop. She must hate me."

Maddie rolled her eyes. She followed him, a step behind him the whole time. "You are ridiculous! She's a baby! She doesn't hate you."

Buck shrugged and hung his shoulders a bit. "Her fever was just so high."

Maddie leaned against him a moment. "Yeah, and we rushed her to the hospital. The doctor was right, Buck. You did good." She pulled away and patted him on the back. "I'm gonna go see if I can find us some coffee. You wanna come?"

Buck shook his head. "No, I'm staying here."

Maddie smiled. "I figured that would be your answer. I'll be right back. Do not yell at anyone!" She said, pointing a finger at him as she backed out of the room.

Buck rolled his eyes as he turned around. He glanced down at the table again. He grabbed one of the colorful kids books. Just something to look at, to distract him and to keep his mind from worrying. He dropped down in a chair, a few from the man and across the room from the woman with the sleeping toddler. He leaned back and rubbed at his eyes. He was tired. But he wasn't going to fall asleep.

"Your wife is right."

Buck opened his eyes and glanced over. The man was leaning over a chair, towards him. Buck straightened up and blinked. "Uh... who... me?"

The man smiled and nodded. "You mind?" He asked, pointing to the chair beside Buck.

Buck shrugged. He needed a distraction. A stranger would do, better than the dumb book. The man looked harmless enough. Good looking, nice smile, pretty eyes, Buck noticed, as the man stood up. He stepped closer and dropped down in the seat right beside Buck. Buck smiled and leaned back. He definitely could use this distraction. He dropped the book in the chair on his other side and turned back to the man.

"Your wife." The man repeated. "She's right. Didn't mean to eavesdrop, but heard what she said. Kids get sick or hurt. Even when you try your hardest to keep them safe and do everything right."

Buck tilted his head to the side. He was too tired and too worried to process what the guy was saying. "Wife?"

"Girlfriend?" The man asked after a moment.

Buck still stared at him blankly. "What?"

"The woman you were with?" The guy said, pointing towards the hall and looking confused himself. "The one who left for coffee?"

"Oh!" Now he felt stupid. Buck shook his head quickly. "Gross, dude."

"Oh... kay..." The man said slowly, stringing the word out.

Buck laughed softly and smiled. "My sister." He said. "That's my sister."

"Your sister..." The man repeated. "Oh... so... no wife or girlfriend?"

Buck shook his head. "No, no. Just me."

"So... your kid?"

"Chloe." Buck supplied the name, even though the stranger didn't exactly ask. "She's 3 months old. I'm fostering her until I can adopt her." Buck launched right into the story of saving her, starting with where he worked and ending with Chloe being taken from him at the hospital doors. Then he went into detail about going back to the hospital and applying to be a foster parent. The stranger didn't ask but he also didn't stop Buck. So he just kept talking. "It took almost 3 months." He said. "I actually just got her two days ago." He smiled and breathed out. "I sorta just... fell in love with her. She's a tough little fighter."

"Wow." The guy breathed out and shook his head slightly. "Talk about a hero. You are incredible."

Buck smiled and ducked his head a bit. A slight blush colored his cheeks for a moment. And if he wasn't so consumed with worry for Chloe, maybe he'd notice the way the stranger smiled at him, hung onto his every word and leaned slightly closer. And the way the stranger brushed his arm against Buck's more than once. The first time, he acted like it was an accident. Said sorry and pulled his arm away. Buck had smiled and kept talking. But the last time, the stranger kept his arm there, as he half leaned against Buck. "Nah." Buck said, shaking his head. "She's the real little hero. Changed my life and my sister's. Might have saved Maddie's life."

"Your sister?" The stranger asked.

Buck nodded. Then he stopped for a moment and turned slightly in his chair. Their arms no longer touched but their knees brushed together and Buck didn't pull away. "I'm Buck." He said, holding out his hand.

The stranger smiled and shook his hand. His fingers lingered on Buck's a few moments longer than necessary. "Just Buck? No last name?"

Buck smiled. "Buckley." He answered.

The stranger tilted his head. "Buck Buckley? Did your parents hate you?"

Buck let out a laugh. "Evan. But everyone calls me Buck."

"I like Evan better." The stranger smiled. "Eddie Diaz."

"So, Eddie Diaz, you got a kid here?" Buck asked, leaning forward slightly. "Or do you just like to hang out in hospital waiting rooms?"

Eddie smiled and shrugged. "Never know who you'll meet in a hospital waiting room." He winked at Buck and leaned back in the chair. "My son, Christopher." He said. "He uh... one of his crutches broke somehow and I have no clue how. He just fell and sprained his arm."

"In the middle of the night?" Buck asked.

Eddie smiled. "We were out having a guy's night."

"What does that entail?"

"Late night showing of that new Thor movie."

Buck smiled and let out a laugh. "Fun."

Eddie nodded. "It was. Until he fell down the stairs at the theater. The sprain wasn't bad. They're just setting it and double checking. But Christopher... sorta kicked me out."

Buck raised an eyebrow. "Your kid kicked you out?"

Eddie shrugged. "Single father. I might overreact sometimes."

Buck laughed and shook his head. "How old is he?"

"Almost 8."

Buck's eyes widened. "Seriously? You have an 8 year old kid?"

Eddie nodded. "Yep."

"Alone the whole time?"

Eddie looked away for a moment. He cleared his throat and shook his head. "No... my uh... wife... left us a few years ago."

Buck frowned and leaned back. He held up his arms and shook his head. "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have asked."

Eddie shrugged slightly. "It's fine. It's been about 4 years. We're doing fine without her." He said a bit stiffly. Then he breathed out and leaned back.

"So then... you've been alone for the last 4 years?" Buck asked, genuinely curious. He didn't know any single parents. "I mean, with Christopher. Like... as a single parent, I mean."

Eddie smiled and nodded his head. "It's hard sometimes, but he's worth it. He's my whole world."

Buck smiled. He understood that. He opened his mouth to say just that when he noticed Maddie. She was leaning against the wall, near the doorway. She held two to-go coffee cups in her hands. "Hang on." Buck said to Eddie as he jumped up. He walked towards Maddie. "Something happen?"

Maddie shook her head as she pushed off the wall. "No."

Buck tilted his head. "Then why are you standing here, all stalkery?"

Maddie blinked at him for a moment and opened her mouth slowly. "Are you calling me a stalker?"

Buck shrugged. "A bit, yes. You look kinda creepy, standing here staring at me, and holding two coffees."

She held out one of the cups to Buck and he took it. "There. Now I'm just holding one." She said, raising her cup slowly to her lips. She took a slow sip. "I didn't want to interrupt." She said with a smile.

"Interrupt what?" He asked, taking a sip.

She smiled at him for a moment longer. "I ran into the doctor on my way back." She said, changing the subject. "We can go see Chloe."

Buck's eyes widened. "Yeah?"

Maddie smiled again and nodded.

There was a hand on his shoulder. Buck turned slightly. Eddie smiled at him and held out a piece of paper. "In case you ever need... help." Eddie said. "Us single dads should stick together."

Buck unfolded the paper. It looked like a coloring page, ripped out of a book. There was a cartoon dog on it, wearing a firefighter's hat. On the top corner, was a phone number, scribbled in... "Crayon?" Buck asked, looking back up at him.

Eddie shoved his hands in his pockets and smiled. "We're in the pediatric waiting room." He said. "I was lucky to find that box of crayons."

"It's pink." Buck pointed out.

Eddie smiled again and backed up slowly. "It was nice meeting you, Evan. Call me." He turned and headed back to his chair.

Buck folded the paper up and turned. Maddie was staring at him. Buck frowned as he shoved the paper in his pocket. "What?"

She grabbed his arm and pulled him out into the hall. "What?" She mocked. "Evan?"

Buck shrugged. "That's my name."

Maddie tilted her head to the side and continued to stare at him. "But no one calls you that."

"Duh, Mads." He really had no clue what she was trying to get at. And he was too tired. "I know that. I told him."

"Uh huh." She crossed her arms and stared at him.

Buck sighed. "Look, can we just go see Chloe?"

Maddie nodded and Buck followed her down the hall. The doctor was waiting for them. The room was small. There were a couple chairs and the small hospital crib. Buck pulled one of the chairs closer and picked Chloe up. He settled down in the chair and rested her against his chest. The doctor smiled and excused herself, with a promise to check on her in an hour.

Buck stifled a yawn as Chloe closed her eyes. The poor thing looked exhausted. She was asleep in seconds. Buck smiled. Maddie pulled a chair closer, right next to Buck. He glanced over at her. "You don't have to say." He said softly. "You can go home, I can call when we're done.

Maddie shook her head. "No, I'll stay."

Buck stifled another yawn. He shifted a bit gently, careful not to jostle Chloe too much. He slouched a bit farther down in the chair and hiked his feet up on the bottom of the crib.

Maddie smiled as she stared down at the sleeping baby. "She's so cute when she's sleeping."

Buck snorted softly and shook his head. "Don't rub it in." He mumbled. "I've only had her two days and all she does is cry! I'm doing something wrong."

Maddie shook her head. "No, you're doing everything right, Buck. It's only been a few days. And she is a baby. That's sort of what they do."

"But..." Buck breathed out.

"No, Buck." Maddie interrupted. "First kids are always the hardest, because first time parents always think they're doing everything wrong."

Buck shook his head. "It's not all that." He said. "It is a little bit." He added quickly. "But that's not all. I spent a lot of time over at Kate's. And Chloe never cried! Not like this."

Maddie sighed. She didn't really want to say it, because she didn't want Buck to feel worse. But maybe it was something he needed to hear. "Buck, Chloe is 3 months old. " Maddie started softly, still mindful of the sleeping baby. "Everything she knows... was just taken away from her. Kate and her home and her wife, that's what Chloe knows. For three months, that was her home and her family. You are basically a stranger." Buck looked away and Maddie shook her head and continued talking. "I'm not saying this to make you feel bad. I'm just... trying to get you to think about it, okay? Right now, you are basically a stranger. But one day, you won't be, okay? One day, Chloe won't remember her first home. She will only know you."

Buck was silent. He stared at the wall as he let Maddie's words sink in and process. She made sense, he knew. Deep down, he knew it wasn't going to be easy. None of this was going to be easy right off the bat. It was going to take time and patience. He knew that. He did. But it still didn't make him feel good when Chloe just cried for hours. Buck breathed out slowly and looked back at Maddie. "Okay. What do I do?" He asked honestly.

Maddie tilted her head a bit. "Remember what Kate said, about routines and babies feeling safe. Maybe call Kate, ask her if there's something maybe you're missing. Maybe there was a song she sang to Chloe or something. Something you can do, that would remind Chloe of when being at Kate's made her feel safe.

Buck nodded slowly. That made sense. "Yeah." He leaned to the side slightly and dug in his pocket.

"Not right now!" Maddie hissed.

Buck stopped and frowned. "Why not?"

Maddie rolled her eyes. "Buck, it's like two in the morning."

"Oh." Buck paused like he'd actually forgotten what time it was. Because he had. He smiled and sighed. "Yeah, I totally forgot." Maddie let out a soft laugh and leaned back in her chair, getting comfortable. Neither noticed the folded piece of paper than had fallen out of Buck's pocket.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Author's Notes: 8D THERE IS EDDIE! Because there was NO way I was waiting a whole year for them to meet! So here comes Eddie, earlier!