This will be the weirdest fanfic you will ever read.

"ROAAAAAAAR!," Sheila was wondering where her sexy redheaded pet could have gone. She knew he wasn't a bear like her, but still, he was big and furry just like she. He walked on two legs and didn't understand what her different roars meant. Likewise, she didn't understand his strange language. Still, they had found a way to communicate and romantic talks by the campfire of those they would devour were not out of the ordinary for them. They were different, yet oh so similar and they had been lovers for some time now. So she had expected he would be nearby when she awoke. Had all their romps in the den meant nothing to him? If he could have just bared with her for a couple more months, she would have woken up next to him and everything would have been alright.

She still remembered their final night together. Him in all his naked redhaired glory, telling her what an animal she was in the sack. Her intense hunger for something tasty as he lay sated beside her. She would have eaten him alive, but she had fallen in love with the odd red furred being. He had been just what she had needed to mend her broken heart when her husband Bart had gone off and gotten himself kidnapped by a group of food. The rumor around Bearville had been that he had ended up in a fighting pit against some one-handed knight and some woman-man person. She was unlikely to ever see him again. So this redheaded being would be her new love. His name she had learned was Tormund. Hers was Shrrrrrrrawrawwwwwrailllllllllalalala but that would be too hard for him to pronounce in his limited language, so she had communicated to him that he should call her Sheila.

Now, where could he have gone? ROAR. She couldn't live without him. She was a bear after all and bears needed their honey. She would have to find him. Silly being. He must have gotten lost in the forest.

His scent had been washed away by the many rains during her months of hibernation. She did smell other scents though. She decided to follow the majority of them. Perhaps he had found a village of food. She would lead him back to their love cave and bring some food home as well for them to enjoy together. He'd always loved when she did that. "Delicious meat, a bit dry though! Wish I had some ale to wash it down with," he had remarked many times.

It seemed she had traveled for months before she reached a giant wall. She smelled food. Lots and lots of food. She could hear some of the food talking. With her keen hearing, she picked up her pets voice.

"I want to make babies with you. Great big monster babies! They'd conquer the world! Please, Brienne, do the honor of becoming my wife?"

What? Who was this Brienne, and why was Tormund proposing to her? The sound of a slap was heard.

"Oh yeah, Brienne! I'm such a lucky man!"

There was the sound of footsteps walking away and an exasperated sigh.

"I won't give up. Not ever. You blue-eyed beauty, you will bare my children one day! Beautiful, blonde or ginger-haired giant monster babies! Brienne, think about it! They would conquer the world!" Tormund proclaimed.

Shiela's ears perked up at the mention of the word bear. It brought her back to one of their last conversations.

"You're a bear of a woman Sheila, but you can't bare me children. I need a woman. An actual woman...nice and soft and cozy as you feel..."

Shiela had stopped for a moment and bite his nose. She was hungry. It had taken all her strength to not rip his nose off, "Oh fuck Shiela I love it when you bite me like that."

Shortly thereafter they had joined in the way that bears and their food should never join. Sheila remembered falling into a peaceful, contented sleep after. Her hibernation had begun. When she woke up, he was gone. If she had known it would be their last time... If she had only known she would have devoured him in every way possible. Shiela roared with sobs as she strode away from the village of food, her hunger temporarily forgotten.