Hey, guys! I'm back with another story. For those of you who have read my other story (The Mind Is a Delicate Thing), you'll know that I'm having trouble writing it, and I decided to take a break and update twice a month instead of every week. I wrote this as an experiment with a different writing style and I think it turned out well so I wanted to post it. I haven't really tried to write something purely humor yet, and I thought it would be nice to try something different.

A few notes that are kinda important:
1) This story is Post-S1 and is a S2 AU (which means no one knows who everyone else is; Alya, Nino, and Chloé were given their Miraculous by Wang Fu instead of Maribug)
2) I'm a fan of the Miraculous balance theory (the one where the Miraculous is there to balance out your flaws by giving you a trait you lack—Marinette is given confidence and grace as Ladybug because she usually doesn't have either as her civilian self, Adrien is given freedom as Cat Noir 'cause he already has responsibilities and is a shut-in, Alya constantly searches for the truth and the Fox Miraculous is about illusions and lies, Nino is a party dude who doesn't really take things seriously and the Turtle Miraculous is about age and protection) so the reason I changed up Chloé's power is because the flaw she has to work against is being self-centered. Venom doesn't really make sense for that, so I changed it to Hive Mind in which she gains "clones" she has to work with. Sorry if you don't like that it isn't canon, but I did just mention that it was a S2 AU
3) One part of this story (the first) was written in, like, five minutes right before I went to sleep. The ending was written the next day. If the ending kinda sucks, that's why. Sorry.

Today was, without question, the absolute worst day in Marinette's life. She had overslept again, missing both breakfast and her first class at the collège. Not to mention the fact that she couldn't get a sentence out of herself within five feet of Adrien on a good day, which—well, it would have meant another round of verbal abuse from the self-appointed Queen of Françoise Dupont, Miss Chloé Bourgeois, if she hadn't been acting odd these past few weeks. She'd been nicer, less prone to outbursts and mentions of her father to get what she wanted. Maybe it had something to do with the arrival of Queen Bee, but Marinette couldn't remember if the superheroine had ever saved the Mayor's daughter.

After she spent the entirety of Lunch listening to Alya rant about how uptight Carapace was, and how he and Rena Rouge were not dating, seriously, how could anyone think that Marinette, she had been slightly relieved when she had to leave to deal with the latest akuma. Alya had exited at the same time, which was odd because lately, she had been hiring others to do the camera work and live-reporting for her blog. Whenever Rena Rouge was on the scene, she came back to class late with excuses ranging as wildly as Marinette's.

(Nino too, now that she thought about it. He was always complaining about Rena and how she never took their work seriously, and he and Alya kept getting into lovers' spats about which one would win in a fight. And his excuses, well. Marinette doubted "I was working on my music" counted as a valid excuse, no matter if he wanted DJ as a career choice in his future or not)

The five heroes had shown up to take care of the akuma when—surprise—they found that instead of a classic villain-of-the-week, which would have been quick work with their newfound sense of teamwork (discounting Rena and Carapace always fighting, Cat Noir always flirting, and Bee always flaunting—okay, they still had a while to go before they could classify as a team), they were taking on Hawk Moth himself, considering the guy had just appeared atop the Eiffel Tower and waited for them to dramatically pose before going on the offense. It had taken a long time—too long, dang it, you were supposed to be a clever leader, Marinette—to realize he was waiting for them to tire themselves out and use up their special ability. Cat Noir had wasted his Cataclysm trying to trap him with the metal of the tower, Rena's mirage had no effect, and Carapace had used his Shellter to save them from the aforementioned Cataclysm. Bee's Hive Mind clones were still running around, but they were confusing the team as well as Hawk Moth, so Queen Bee had them stand as a barrier between the heroes and villain. Marinette's Lucky Charm was utterly useless, not to mention within Hawk Moth's grasp instead of hers, so all five of them were currently counting down with only three minutes before detransforming.

Unfortunately, they had all—seriously, Marinette thought to herself in despair, what is wrong with me today—forgotten about his special ability and had stood still, shocked, as Hawk Moth took control of Bee's clones and had them turn on the five. They were trapped, each held down by a clone, and Hawk Moth was standing above them with a smug grin. Marinette wasn't sure why he wasn't just taking the Miraculous, but she figured if she'd been chasing after something as long as he had, she'd probably savor the moment too. And the worst part was, after this entire day of awful experiences, Alya's camerawoman was hovering at the sidelines, having snuck up while the heroes were busy and couldn't bring her back down. So the Ladyblog's millions of viewers, including all of Paris, had seen their epic defeat and their soon-to-be-reveal. Indeed, Marinette watched with trepidation as Hawk Moth reached for her oldest partner's ring, slipping it off with ease. The transformation fell, and in the place of her pun-loving, flirty, longtime friend was—OH MY GOD ADRIEN AGRESTE!

Marinette couldn't help it, her mouth dropped open and started running on its own. Shut up, she told herself, but judging by everyone else, her reaction was probably the sanest. Hawk Moth had frozen, the ring still clutched in his hand, and quietly muttered "Adrien?" so softly she almost thought she imagined it. Rena, Bee, and Carapace were staring at him, and Marinette knew that she was about to do something stupid. Her mind raced over every interaction she'd ever had with her leather-clad partner, wondering how she had missed this. She sat behind him in class every day!

(when she made it to class, that is)

"A—A—Adrien? Wha—how—when—what?!" She said, and she tried to stop herself, she really, truly did, but when did Marinette's body ever listen to her? "I SAT BEHIND YOU THIS ENTIRE YEAR AND I DIDN'T FIGURE OUT THAT MY PUN-LOVING PARTNER WAS MY LONGTIME CRUSH?"

And that would be her "something stupid" of the day. Cross that off the bucket list, time to go dig a hole and lie in it. Forever. Seriously, she was never going to be able to look him in the face again. Or Alya, because that girl would bring this moment up for the rest of their lives. She winced as she felt everyone's eyes turn to her as Hawk Moth took her earrings and felt the magic of Tikki wash over her, leaving her in her civilian outfit. She was about to try and salvage the situation when—

"MY BEST FRIEND HAS BEEN LADYBUG THIS ENTIRE TIME?" Marinette looked over at Rena when that burst out of her. What? "GIRL, I RUN A BLOG ABOUT YOU WHICH I PROCEED TO NAMEDROP IN EVERY CONVERSATION I EVER HAVE AND HAVE BEEN FANGIRLING ABOUT THE HEROINE OF PARIS WHO TURNS OUT TO BE RIGHT NEXT TO ME AND LISTENING TO EVERY WORD OF IT!"

"Alya?" The five all exclaim. Marinette knew she and Adrien had reason to know who Alya was, considering they were all best friends, but Carapace and Bee sounded too close to be simple fans of her blog. Hawk Moth stepped over to her and unclasped the necklace and after the transformation, in the place of Marinette's third best friend was, well. Her first best friend. Apparently, she could move Carapace up to spot number three, because HER BEST FRIEND WAS A SUPERHERO, WHY DIDN'T ALYA TELL HER—oh. Marinette felt herself blush a little at the hypocrisy of her statement.

She was about to apologize to her best friend for the secrets and lies when Carapace interrupted. "Wait, hold up. You mean to tell me that MY GIRLFRIEND IS LEADING A DOUBLE LIFE AS THE SUPERHERO I CAN'T STAND? Alya! Is this why you kept insisting Rena Rouge would win in a fight against Carapace? Because if I had known she was you, I would have agreed."

"Nino?" Alya asked, dumbfounded. "Aw, wait, seriously? Love you too, Lahiffe."

"Oh, god. They're going to flirt on patrol as well as in school? I can't handle that much love," Adrien muttered to Marinette, and she tried to stifle the hysterical giggles threatening to burst out of her. After Hawk Moth slid off Cara—Nino's (that's going to be hard to get used to) bracelet, they all turned to Queen Bee. She glared right back, eyes issuing a challenge to Hawk Moth.

"What? Expecting me to go right on ahead and make your job easier by breaking the one rule we were given—not to reveal our identities? Honestly, it's hard to believe you've all made it this long considering that display of complete idiocy. Not to mention everyone knows you four are a quartet, and if you're thinking I'll expose my identity by reciting some grand old story of the power of friendship between us, then you've hit your head harder than I thought, and you should probably get it checked out."

Bee lifted her head haughtily, lips pursed. Marinette could have sworn she saw the corner of her mouth twitch upwards in a smile—smirk?—but it was gone so fast she must have imagined it. Hawk Moth rolled his eyes, which the other four were tempted to do too, and reached for the hair comb on her head. She growled menacingly, but there wasn't much she could do. Her clone would disappear when he took away the Miraculous, but she still had a good two minutes or so before it wore off on its own. Hawk Moth grabbed the comb and she detransformed. Everyone looked on as the yellow light faded to reveal—

What.

Chloé Bourgeois.

WHAT?!

Marinette did not believe it. She was dreaming, or Rena was pranking them all again, or something because CHLOÉ BOURGEOIS WAS QUEEN BEE AND THIS DID NOT COMPUTE WHAT HAD HER LIFE BECOME. Everyone else was in similar states of shock. Bratty, self-centered, egotistical Chloé was bratty, self-centered, egotistical Queen Bee—wait a second. Now that she thought about it, they were basically the same person. Only she hadn't realized it because Bee was a team player and didn't let her fame get in the way of doing their job. And since that job was stopping akumas, with Chloé having had (past tense, she thought, because the last akumatization Chloé had been responsible for was some girl who hadn't gotten some rare collectible she had wanted, which Chloé had only bought because she was giving it to Adrien as a gift) the ultimate record of being the reason behind them, Marinette had overlooked her change of heart and not connected the spots—wait, was that a pun? Cat Noir was rubbing off on her.

As soon as the weight holding her down lifted, Marinette jumped up into a defensive stance. Chloé, Alya, Nino, and Adrien did so as well. Together, they stood their ground in front of Hawk Moth. As one, they attacked.

(Let the record show that an angry and determined Marinette is scary. Very, very scary)

Marinette had grabbed her earrings back, prompting the transformation into Ladybug. Using her magic yoyo's infinite and indestructible string, she managed to tie Hawk Moth up to end the battle. The five heroes relaxed, victorious at last. Until the silence was broken by Rena—Alya? She'd figure it out later once she processed the fact that they were the same person, hopefully without a hysterical breakdown. Yeah, that'd be good.

"Okay, this is weird. Like, seriously, Marinette, I was not expecting your first kiss to actually be Adrien."

Adrien (and Hawk Moth, but no one was paying him any attention) turned to her, confused. "What are you talking about? We've never kissed."

Marinette's eyes widened as she realized what Alya was doing, and she motioned for Alya to stop. But the troll that was her best friend simply smirked and continued talking to her crush. "What, you didn't know? Dark Cupid shot you with one of his arrows, turning your love into hate, and Mari kissed you to break the spell!"

"Alya!" Marinette hissed, face burning bright red. She just wanted to go home and scream into her pillow after today's revelations. It might have started out horribly, but today had ended up all right after all.