Gensokyo. The Land of Illusions. Home and sanctuary for any supernatural being one can think of, reaching from cute fairies to ancient gods.
And one shrine maiden.
One shrine maiden who's presently pissed of.
VERY pissed of.
"Fuck that damn gap hag!" Reimu Hakurei cursed , slamming her tea cup on the table.
Marisa Kirisame and Alice Margatroid, who were just about to inviting themselves into her humble shrine for an impromptu visit, stopped dead in their tracks.
If there would be a book about basic rules of surviving in Gensokyo, three things would be at the top of the list:
1. If Yukari Yakumo is bored, run.
2. If Flandre Scarlet is bored, pray.
3. If Reimu Hakurei is pissed, run AND pray.
Judging by Reimu's behaviour, 1. and 3. are in session right now. Which doesn't bode well for anyone in a 10 mile radius.
Realizing that the shrine maiden already took notice of them and escape was therefore not an option any more, they reluctantly accepted their fate.
"What did she do this time?" asked Alice, carefully walking to the opposite side of the table with Marisa close behind her, ready to use her fellow magic user as a living meat shield if shit hits the fan.
Wordlessly Reimu hold up a folded piece of paper.
Alice sat down and took it out of her hand, opening it while Marisa looked over her shoulder.
Dear Reimu,
I noticed that you were pretty stressed of lately, so I took the initiative and placed a little present in the main hall of your little shrine.
Raising their heads, they noticed several half unwrapped boxes at the corner of the room.
They contain a TV and several DVD's from the Outside World. The show was one I enjoyed greatly, and I'm sure it will help you to wind down as well.
Love, Yukari
The dot on the 'i' was replaced with a heart, despite her name being written in kanji - it's Yukari Yakumo, don't question it.
"So what's the big deal?" asked Marisa in confusion. "Yukari gave you a gift and you flip out? Ok, it's unusual from her to actually be nice, but..."
"Look at the back side," countered Reimu, looking at her tiredly.
PS: I stole your donation box, I'll return it after you watched ALL seasons.
"... Yeah, that sounds more like her," the witch relented.
"Damn her, the only reason I'm so stressed is because I have to solve one incident after another for her," complained the armpit-flaunting priestess, her head resting in the palms of her hand.
"Look at the positive side, as long as she wants you to watch this... DVD's, she'll probably leave you alone," tried Alice to comfort Reimu.
Marisa meanwhile was searching through the boxes.
"I have seen this stuff at Rinnosuke's shop once, no idea how they work through."
She lifted one of the cases up in the air.
"Red vs. Blue?"
"The only one who knows how those stupid things function is that naive airhead at the Moryia Shrine and I'm not going to ask her for hel...," Reimu started, when suddenly a gap with multiple eyes opened above her and said naive airhead (also known as Sanae Kochiya) dropped out and crashed into Reimu.
As the hole in reality closed again, Marisa and Alice could only stare at the two shrine maidens, who (unintentionally) got very intimidate which each other. With Reimu getting a close view of Sanae's... assets, which in turn tried their best to suffocate her.
While this normally would only count as a minor mishap between two girls at worst, this situation was anything but normal.
Mainly because Sanae was soaking wet... and since her towel opened during her descent, also currently naked.
- Half an hour later -
After the unavoidable freak-out, an explanation and a fresh set of clothes (courtesy of Reimu), everyone agreed to help the distressed priestess out. They thought it would be in their own interest to try and calm her down before she starts an incident all on her own.
Reimu was just happy that she didn't have to suffer alone.
While Sanae was arranging the TV (and preventing Marisa from taking off with some of the goods), Reimu and Alice prepared some tea and snacks.
Some time later, they gathered at the table and Sanae turned the television on.
The screen lit up, showing both the name and the logo of the studio.
"Rooster Teeth?" asked Sanae, tilting her head in confusion.
"I can't imagine an odder name for whatever this is," Alice agreed with a raised brow.
"Could be worse," challenged Marisa with a sly grin.
"Like what?"
"COCK BITE!" the self-proclaimed ordinary magician stated, falling over in laughter while the others groaned in annoyance.
The view faded to show several men in futuristic armour with some kind of vehicle, and a big font stating 'RED' floating next to them, as a catchy tune started to play.
~ Roses are red, ~
~ and violets are blue. ~
The camera zooms to the man with red amour in front of the vehicle, while another font identified him as
'SARGE'.
~ One day we'll cruise down Blood Gulch Avenue. ~
Next was the one sitting in the vehicle, wearing orange (Or is it yellow? Gold maybe?) armour, as he turned his head to look to his left.
'GRIF'
~ It's Red versus Red, and Blue versus Blue. ~
Now it was the man in maroon, aiming the vehicle's strange cannon-like weapon to the side.
'SIMMONS'
~ It's I against I, and me against you. ~
The final one, wearing the same suit as the first one, was holding a gun as
'DONUT'
appeared in front of him.
The view zipped across the field to some kind of gray base, showing two soldiers next to yet another big vehicle, one with blue armour and the other in black.
~ Violets are blue, and roses are red, ~
~ living like this, we're already dead. ~
The man in teal (Aqua?) pulled his gun out and posed in a heroic stance, while the name
'TUCKER'
appeared in the front.
A cobalt-armoured soldier was standing on top of the base, aiming a long rifle around, as the name
'CHURCH'
came in from the side.
The soldier in black armour, identified as
'TEX',
turned invisible and quickly back to normal as the font went behind him/her.
The final soldier in blue jumped out of the vehicle, aiming his weapon to the ground.
'CABOOSE'
~ Hop in my car, ~
~ it don't have any doors. ~
The vehicle started to glow.
'SHEILA'
The camera zoomed out towards the middle of a field, showing a soldier in brown armour.
'LOPEZ'
~ It's build like a cat,
~ it lands on all fours.
The screen changed to show the smaller of the first vehicles being driven on the field and then zoomed to Grif and Sarge talking. Then the view focused on Church and Caboose standing next to each other, as Church waved his weapon around, just to quickly fade to Donut with a flagpole in his hands, then the big vehicle shooting, to Tex, then to a man in a grey suit.
~ My car's like a puma, ~
~ it drives on all fours. ~
Several different scenes played out, some purple object flying in space, both sides shooting across from one another, Grif and Tucker in their team's respective vehicle, and a variety of other activities as the song continued to play out.
~ Red versus Red ~
~ Blue versus Blue ~
"RED VS BLUE" – "SEASON 1"
"The song was actually pretty good," said Reimu, nibbling on a cookie. "The lyrics didn't make much sense through."
"Season 1? How many are there anyway?" asked Marisa her fellow blonde.
"Let's see, I count... wow, seventeen cases," Alice answered, digging through the box.
"Seems like we'll be here for some time!" smiled Sanae, clapping her hands in excitement.
Reimu groaned.
"Season 01 / Episode 01: Why are we here?"
The camera zoomed up to Grif and Simmons, standing next to each other on top of their base.
"That armour looks actually pretty impressive," mused Reimu, looking at the green-haired priestess. "Is that normal for the Outside World?"
"That looks a bit more advanced then anything they had the last time I was there," answered Sanae, tapping her chin in thought as she looked at the roof. "But it's possible they have something similar by now."
"Hey," started Simmons, turning to Grif.
"Yeah?"
"You ever wondered why we're here?"
"It's one of life's great mysteries, isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of... some cosmic coincidence, or... is there really a God? Watching everything? Y'know, with a plan for us and stuff? I dunno, man. But it keeps me up at night."
"... Gotta admit, I didn't expect them to start with a philosophical discussion about the meaning of life," Marisa mumbled, scratching her head in confusion. "That's some pretty heavy stuff there."
"But why is he talking as there is only one god? Is he simply ignoring all the others?" wondered Reimu, sipping at her tea.
"It's an Outside World thing."
Both soldiers stared at each other in silence.
"... What? I mean why are we out here, in this canyon?"
"Oh. Uh... yeah."
"What was all that stuff about God?"
"Uh... hm? Nothing."
Silence.
"Way to kill the mood, dude," deadpanned Marisa, but then started to laugh. The others joined in too, but a bit more collected than their friend.
"... You want to talk about it?"
"No."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
"Awkward~," sang Sanae, still giggling.
"Seriously though, why are we out here? As far as I can tell, it's just a box canyon in the middle of nowhere. No way in or out."
"Wow, sucks to be them," said Reimu.
"Mhmm."
"The only reason that we set up a red base here, is because they have a blue base over there. And the only reason they have a blue base over there, is because we have a red base here."
"I will not say that THIS is the stupidest thing I ever heard, because honestly? I have seen and heard even more moronic stuff around here," started Alice, shaking her head in disapproval. "But it's still easily in the Top 10."
The others also gave sounds of agreement.
"Yeah, that's because we're fighting each other," answered Grif.
"No no, but I mean, even if we were to pull out today and they were to come take our base, they'd would have two bases in the middle of a box canyon. Whoopdee-fucking-doo."
"Yeah, that's total bullshit," agreed Marisa.
"What's up with that anyway? I mean, I signed on to fight some aliens. Next thing I know, Master Chief blows up the whole Covenant armada, and I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere, fighting a bunch of blue guys," Grif summarized.
"So they were originally planning to fight aliens?" asked Sanae, reaching for the plate with the cookies, only to realize that Marisa already ate all of them.
"What, like the lunarians?" said the witch, rubbing her stomach in contentment, while ignoring the stink-eye the former outsider gave her.
"Kaguya and her rabbits were originally from earth," said Reimu, sighing at the antics of the two. "I believe they are talking about real aliens."
"I wonder how one single human could destroy an entire armada on his own," thought Alice aloud, but only got shrugs in response.
The camera changed to show Church and Tucker, both standing on a cliff a decent distance away from the red base, with the former looking through a long riffle, while the latter was standing behind him.
"Talking about crazy bunny girls, that looks like on of those cannon things that they uses sometimes," noted Marisa.
"They're called 'guns'," Sanae explained. "And they come in lots of different shapes and sizes. Judging by its length, I'd say that one is a 'sniper riffle', used for long-distance attacks."
"What are they doing?" Tucker asked.
"What?" replied Church, lowering his weapon.
"I said, what are they doing now?"
"Godamn it, I'm getting so sick of answering that question!"
"He sounds a lot like Reimu," grinned Marisa, getting an annoyed shove from said shrine maiden.
"You have the fucking rifle, I can't see shit! Don't bitch at me, because I'm not going to just sit up here and play with my d-"
"Wow, too much info?" Alice grimaced.
"Okay, look. They're just standing there and talking, okay? That's all they're doing. That's all they ever do, is just stand there and talk. That's what they were doing last week, that's what they were doing when you asked me five minutes ago. So five minutes from now when you ask me 'What are they doing?', my answer's gonna be: 'They're still just talking, and they're still just standing there'."
"... What are they talking about?"
"You know what? I fucking hate you."
"Snarky, easily irritated and even easier annoyed. I think we found your soul mate!" teased Marisa.
"Fuck you," replied Reimu eloquently, kicking the blonde magician in the side.
"See?! You're made for each other!" gasped Marisa from her position on the ground, trying to catch her breath, while her butt was comically raised to the heavens.
- Back to the Reds -
"Talk about a waste of resources," Griff complained. "I mean, we should be out there finding new and intelligent forms of life. Y'know, fight them."
"Yeah, no shit. That' why they should put us in charge."
"I have the feeling you two wouldn't be in charge of taking care of a rock," mocked Alice, covering her mouth faux seriousness.
"They'd probably lose it," joined Sanae in the joke.
Sarge appeared, looking up at Simmons and Grif.
"Ladies, front and center on the double!"
"Fuck," groaned Simmons.
"Yes, sir!" answered Grif.
Fade to black.
"What the fuck, that's all?" complained Marisa. "We didn't get any action at all!"
"Let's play the next one," urged Sanae her fellow priestess, who snorted in irritation, before snatching the remote and pressing play.
Character Introduction
Name: Reimu Hakurei
Race: Human
Age: Mid-teens
Occupation: Hakurei Shrine Maiden, Incident Resolver
Eyes: Brown
Hair: Brown/Black
Special Features: Usually wears a highly modificated red and white shrine maiden oufit, emphasizing her armpits
Title: Shrine Maiden of Paradise
Special Abilities: Danmaku, Manipulation of Auras, Barrier Creation, Shrine Maiden Powers
Notes:
Reimu Hakurei is the main character of the Touhou Project series. As the sole maiden of the Hakurei Shrine, she is commonly called upon (or calls it upon herself) to investigate strange occurrences throughout Gensokyo.
Reimu is commonly described as easygoing, curious, dutiful, and optimistic — sometimes overly so. Her personality seems sympathetic toward many individuals; there are few characters who remain her rivals past the first encounter. Her shrine has become a moderately popular locale for Gensokyo's youkai population.
This passive attitude towards monsters doesn't sit well with most of the humans in Gensokyo, which means her shrine doesn't get many visitors... or donations.
She's also one of the inventors of the 'Spell Card System'.
Name: Marisa Kirisame
Race: Human
Age: Mid-teens
Occupation: Witch
Eyes: Golden
Hair: Blonde
Special Features: Stereotypical witch with an overly large hat and flying broom
Title: Ordinary Magician
Special Abilities: Danmaku, Magic
Notes:
Marisa Kirisame is an 'ordinary' human magician specializing in flashy heat and light-based magic and the secondary protagonist of the Touhou Project series. She is a notorious and proud kleptomaniac, especially when it comes to books. She's built herself up as a great magician through nothing but hard work and dedication to her craft.
Name: Alice Margatroid
Race: Youkai (Magician)
Age: unknown, young for a youkai
Occupation: Magician, Puppeteer
Eyes: Green
Hair: Blonde
Special Features: She's usually accompanied by her dolls Shanghai and Hourai
Title: Seven-Coloured Puppeteer
Special Abilities: Danmaku, Magic, Puppetry Proficiency
Notes:
Alice Margatroid is one of only a few people known to live within the 'Forest of Magic'. She's a magician known primarily for her skilful use of magical dolls as well as being a loner. She gets in many fights with Marisa but they are somewhat acquaintances, sharing many of the same interests and even teaming up at times.
Name: Sanae Kochiya
Race: Human, Arahitogami (lit. 'Living God')
Age: Mid-teens
Occupation: Wind Priestess, Shrine Maiden, Scientist (Amateur)
Eyes: Golden
Hair: Green
Special Features: She wears a snake-shaped hair accessory wrapped around her hair on one side, and a hair clip shaped like a frog's head on the other
Title: Modern Living God
Special Abilities: Danmaku, Shrine Maiden Powers, Miracle Manipulation
Notes:
Sanae Kochiya is a human descendant of the goddess Suwako Moriya who was born in the Outside World. While she is a minor goddess due to her divine heritage, she works as the shrine maiden and wind priestess of the Moriya Shrine. When humans on the Outside World began losing their faith in the gods, Kanako, the shrine's official deity, decided to move the shrine to Gensokyo where at least youkai might have faith in them. As a result, she is one of the few people living in Gensokyo with a developed knowledge of the Outside World.
Sanae originally tried to overtake the Hakurei Shrine in order to establish the Moriya Shrine as the dominant one, but got promptly beaten into the dust by Reimu. Despite the fact they became friends afterwards, they still maintain some sort of friendly rivalry, mainly because the Moriya Shrine is far more popular than the Hakurei Shrine, therefore getting far more donations.
Her power to cause miracles is best explained as the ability to manipulate probability.
Name: Yukari Yakumo
Race: Elder Youkai
Age: over 1.200 years
Occupation: Stabilizes and monitors the barriers of Gensokyo
Eyes: Golden
Hair: Blonde
Special Features: She's usually accompanied by her shikigamis Ran and Chen
Title: Border of Phantasm; Gap Youkai
Special Abilities: Danmaku, Onmyōdō Spells, Shikigami, Gaps, Manipulation of Boundaries
Notes:
Yukari Yakumo is a legendary youkai with the power to manipulate boundaries, one of the creators of Gensokyo and co-creator of the 'Spell Card System'. She is a remarkably youkai-like youkai who spends most of her time sleeping and relaxing. However, she is exceptionally intelligent and is aware of most things happening within Gensokyo (and other places).
Her power allows her to manipulate any and all kinds of boundaries. That extends to any boundary that can be defined in a recognizable way, a power that makes her seem to be almost omnipotent.
By manipulating the boundary between 'Here and There' she can also create and control gaps, portal-like rips in space filled with disembodied eyes. She can use these as a purse, to teleport, to travel, to snatch projectiles and even attack with them.
Despite all her power Yukari's MO usually involves manipulating others to do the work for her.
She's also one of the biggest trolls ever, messing with anyone just for the heck of it.
Harsh~! - Yukari
What the fuck?!
Name: Flandre Scarlet
Race: Youkai (Vampire)
Age: over 495 years
Occupation: None
Eyes: Scarlet
Hair: Golden
Special Features: Instead of the usual bat wings, she's branch-like wings decorated with multi-coloured crystals
Title: Diabolic Wave
Special Abilities: Danmaku, Vampire Magic, Cloning, Magical Weapon, Destruction of Anything and Everything
Notes:
Flandre Scarlet is the younger sister of Remilia Scarlet and a vampire who has lived at the Scarlet Devil Mansion for over 495 years.
Despite her age she maintained a childlike attitude and usually acts on a whim. Since she goes a little crazy due to her emotional instability, she has never been taken outside the bounds of the Scarlet Devil Mansion and rarely leaves the building itself.
Flandre has the power to destroy anything she wants, a frightening ability with no real weaknesses. By summoning the 'eye' of an object into the palm of her hand and crushing it, she can annihilate practically anything instantly.
She can also create up to three copies of herself and possesses a magical weapon called 'Lævateinn', which can be set on fire.
Name: Kaguya Houraisan
Race: Lunarian
Age: over 1.400 years
Occupation: Exiled Moon Princess
Eyes: Brown
Hair: Black
Special Features: Her powers are essential for the creation of the Hourai Elixir
Title: The Eternal Moon Princess
Special Abilities: Danmaku, Eternal Youth and Immortality, Manipulation of Eternity and Instantaneous
Notes:
Kaguya Houraisan was once a princess of the lunarians, but was exiled to earth over a thousand years ago for the crime of using the forbidden Hourai Elixir to make herself immortal. Arriving on earth, she was found by a bamboo cutter and dwelt among the humans she had once despised. Tales of her unearthly beauty led men from all across the land to seek her hand in marriage, but none could successfully complete her trial of the 'Five Impossible Requests'.
After years of exile, emissaries from the moon arrived: Kaguya had been forgiven of her crime and it had been decided that she should return. Kaguya, however, had grown to love life on earth and had no desire to return to the lunar capital permanently. Enlisting the help of her friend Eirin, Kaguya escaped from the emissaries and fled to Gensokyo. Taking refuge in an ancient manor called Eientei hidden deep within a secluded bamboo forest, the two lunarians began a new exile. After several centuries of isolation, she was eventually reunited with Mokou, who had also used the Hourai Elixir to become immortal, and the two continued their feud, murdering each other on a nearly daily basis.
Additional Information
Gensokyo:
Gensokyo was originally a desolate, haunted region of Japan ages ago. The youkai that lived there began to terrorize the surrounding lands and thus powerful, spiritual empowered humans were sent to exorcise and exterminate them. The off and on battle between humans and youkai continued on until 1885 A.D., when Gensokyo was sealed off from this increasingly scientific and skeptical world with the creation of the 'Great Hakurei Barrier'. There has been little contact between those societies ever since. Today, the only known gateway between Gensokyo and the 'Outside World' is the Hakurei Shrine, which stands in isolation along the border.
Gensokyo is populated mainly by youkai and other supernatural beings, but a decent number of humans live there as well. Some of its inhabitants went there to hide, to escape or to find shelter when no-one else would accept them.
Youkai:
Youkai roughly translates to either 'mystic apparition' or 'mysterious calamity' and refers to Japanese folklore creatures and ghosts. The term can also apply broadly to anything that is a supernatural being or legend, from any culture. Because there are thousands of stories of magical beings around the world, the different types of youkai are endless. Fairies, vampires, oni and nekomata can all be found in Gensokyo. Alternatively, it is a common Japanese belief that after a certain amount of time, ordinary objects and animals gain life and personality, becoming a kind of youkai as well. In some cases even a normal human can become a youkai under the right conditions.
Normal youkai seem to behave like wild animals, attacking humans within their territory on sight. Exceptional youkai are less common, but they often enjoy speaking to humans and are much stronger than an ordinary human. These youkai are almost always humanoid in appearance and can be quite unpredictable; friendly one moment, hostile the next.
Many, though not all, youkai are known to eat humans on occasion, if not on a regular basis. Many youkai are also stronger and live longer than an average human, with lifespans often reaching into hundreds of years (or are outright immortal ). One common trait often seen among youkai is a weakness to various faith based and spiritual attacks, charms, wards, etc. In Gensokyo it's therefore natural for the resident shrine maiden to become involved whenever there's trouble being caused by a youkai.
Spell Card System:
It is specified that the 'Spell Card System' was developed by Reimu Hakurei and Yukari Yakumo and was first used in the infamous 'Scarlet Mist Incident'. It is a duel system that allows the combatants to fight without worrying about dying or killing the other duelist. The danmaku used during those fights are non-lethal in nature and the primary goal is it to dodge and counter-attack.
The winner is usually decided by skill and performance. The Spell Cards - and the similarly working Skill Cards - themselves are usually pieces of paper bearing the descriptions of their respective spells, along with the possible approval of the shrine maiden, and are a combination of danmaku and the respective abilities of the users.
Danmaku:
Danmaku translates to 'Bullet Curtain', 'Curtain Fire' or simply 'Bullet Hell' and is the ability to produce a great number of magic projectiles, the danmaku, and send them in the direction of your opponent.
Main way of attacking in a spell card battle.
Lunarians:
The Lunarians (Tsukibito lit. 'Moon People') are the people living on or coming from the moon. They resemble humans in most ways and are classified as such, with the exception of the moon rabbits.
Lunarians naturally live much longer lives, though. They also possess some of the most advanced technology in existence and are supposedly, according to Kaguya, the originators of magic.
They also look down on the earth-dwellers, since they consider the circle of 'Life and Death' as a sickness and therefore impure.
Moon Rabbits:
Human-like youkai with bunny ears and tails living on the moon.
They seem to be used as capable soldiers in the moon's war effort and can communicate telepathically between each other across extremely long distances (like from the moon to the earth). Moon rabbits are based on an ancient Japanese folklore where the people saw a rabbit in the moon pounding mochi, as opposed to a smiling face (the 'Man in the Moon').