Title: Heaven and Hell
Author: The Fallen Sky
Rating: M
Summary: She started it, he reminds himself, as if it's a justification, as if that makes it okay.
A/N: Not sure exactly when this takes place, but given Ellie's age, it's either sometime during the game or shortly after. Either way, it's safe to say that this is set in an AU. Also, this is told from Joel's POV.

Feedback is welcome. Enjoy!

She started it, he reminds himself, as if it's a justification, as if that makes it okay.

Part of him, the rational part, the part that screams that she's 14 and just a kid, knows that it's wrong no matter who started it, but that doesn't stop him from continuing it, doesn't stop him from wanting it, doesn't stop him from enjoying it.

Even now, as he watches her pull her shirt over her head... watches as she unhooks her bra... watches as the straps slide off her shoulders and the cups fall away revealing pale, freckled skin and pastel pink nipples, he can't look away, can't tell her to stop, can't help but to want to reach out and cup her small breasts in his hands, to feel the heat of her silky soft skin, to feel her nipples harden against his palms, to hear her moan in pleasure at his touch.

Even now, as he watches her unbutton and unzip her jeans... watches her shimmy her hips as she pushes her jeans down... watches as the old, faded denim gives way to threadbare panties and slender thighs... watches as she kicks the jeans off... watches as she hooks her thumbs in the waist of her panties... watches as she hesitates, just for a moment... watches as she looks back at him, her eyes alight with emotion, emotion that both thrills and frightens him... watches as she slowly pushes the panties down, revealing thick, untamed auburn curls, he can't look away, can't tell her to stop, can't help but to want to reach out and run his hand along the length of her leg, to feel the smooth skin glide beneath his fingertips, to feel skin give way to downy soft curls, to hear her whimper and feel her shiver as his fingers dip lower and trace the seam of her sex.

Part of him, the mindless, savage beast, driven by instinct and desire, screams at him to take her, take what is his, to touch and taste every inch of her, to fill her with his throbbing manhood, to feel her spasm and quiver as he spills himself inside her.

Another part of him, the rational, morally upstanding man, driven by faint but lingering fatherly love for another girl, lost long ago, pleads with him to do the right thing, to deny the lust surging through him, to ignore the sweetly seductive smile of the redhead slowly sauntering toward him and the tightening it causes in his jeans, to resist the temptation to touch her creamy porcelain skin and marvel at the goosebumps left in the wake of his questing fingertips, to refuse the invitation in her eyes to take her body and do with it as he pleases.

The battle rages fiercely within him as she moves ever closer, his resolve turning from steel to shit and back again with each step she takes.

He resolves to tell her no, is determined to break the cycle, to be a man and not a beast.

The word is on his tongue, thick like syrup, ready to slide past his lips, but as she comes to a stop in front of him, so close that he can feel the heat radiating off of her naked flesh, so close that he can see the tiny flecks of gold in her emerald eyes, so close that he can smell the sweet scent of her arousal, he finds himself paralyzed, his body unresponsive to his mental commands. He wills his mouth to move, to make sound, to say the word that will end this unnatural union once and for all. But nothing happens.

He stares at her, eyes drinking her in, caressing every inch of her face, neck, chest, all the way down to her feet and back again.

Beautiful.

He's not sure if it's just a thought, or if he spoke it aloud. Judging by the soft smile that slowly lights up her face, it's likely that he managed to find his voice after all.

In the end, it doesn't matter. He failed.

His resolve fades to nothing as he leans down and presses a tender kiss to her lips, the gentle contact sending jolts of electricity surging through him, causing him to deepen the kiss, his arms wrapping around her slender body, one hand on her back, the other on her ass, pulling her into him, pressing her tightly against his now throbbing body. It doesn't take long for the beast to take over, for all rational thought to flee his mind and be replaced with sensation, wanton desire and pure pleasure.

When it's over, when the flame has burned itself out and their bodies lie tangled, sweaty and spent, when her eyes glow with the remaining embers, not of lust but of love, his chest will ache with longing and his stomach will churn with guilt, and as he disentangles himself from her, he will remind himself that she started it, and he will know that it will end with him burning in hell. But in this moment, he revels and rejoices in the heaven that is Ellie.